Chronicles in Running - Part 4: Perfect Conditions

Everyone is different; although the human body is the same for the most part, everyone is different. So we all have our likes and dislikes, what feels good what feels bad. What works for us and our body and what doesn't. What clothes, shoes, bras, underwear, socks, work for our individual body shapes, sizes and types.

In the same respect we each have our ideal preferences for running conditions. I had not realized this but for a good run we have a lot of things that are required. Although one can truly ignore most of these and run anyway, it is but a preference, or makes the run a tiny bit easier. Factors include controllable (controllable by the runner) and uncontrollable factors.

The controllable factors are: 

Sleep - enough sleep the night before is so important. If you only got 5 hours you'll notice the energy is a bit low. One can still run, but it's just a little tougher.

Proper nutrition - eating before a run is not recommended (depending on the distance), but having a bite of a banana or a balanced meal the night before is definitely important. To binge on carbs/ comfort food the night before, doesn't help cause it might increase bloating, lethargy. Although some people think running will help burn that, there might be some logic to that thinking, but a balanced diet always!

Proper hydration - before and during. As you run you get thirsty and by the time you're thirsty you are dehydrated, so it's good to take tiny sips and hydrate before the run.

Bathroom - Frankly, I found peeing and pooping before running, key to my run. In fact, when you have food sitting in your gut, it's harder to run, and almost painful. Pee is not too bad to run with, almost like a motivator to get to the end, however one feels freer to run, after peeing.

Clothing - it's great to have comfy clothing to run in. Including bra, and socks, etc. While running you suddenly realize the bra isn't supportive enough, or it's too tight and hard to breathe in- that can be a problem you don't want to have to deal with. Also clothes weather tight or lose, find something YOU are comfortable running in. You don't want your pants falling off, or your tights riding up your butt crack mid-run. It's easy to deal with, but an annoyance.

Shoes - tie your shoes well, get fitted for your shoes, before your run, so you can avoid blisters, and don't have to tie your laces constantly during the run.

Hair - it helps to have the hair out of your face so you can see.

Other things - it helps to have an insect repellent on (lotion/ oil/ spray) if running in a place with lots of bugs, especially ones that bother/ bite. These can really hinder running. Also lotions and such that prevent chaffing. It can really prevent a lot of pain on a long hot run. Carrying meds or taking meds before the run, ie. if you have seasonal allergies/ asthma, it helps your run ease by rather than struggling to breathe while running.

Uncontrollable factors :

Seasons - the season can affect your performance. You might prefer cooler season (Fall/ Winter), or warmer season (Spring/ Summer) on your body and general like and dislike. I prefer Winter, since there seems to be less chaffing, the sweat doesn't wet the clothes, it's easier to breathe, there are no allergens or bugs. No sun burn. 

Some people prefer Summer, cause there are less layers.

Allergens - in the warm weather allergies are abound, and can affect you, even if you previously had no allergies.

Traffic - there will be places where you run that traffic will be unforgiving, and you just have to look out for yourself. 

Road/ pavement conditions - there may be potholes, cracks, uneven sidewalk conditions on your run, be wary, alert and safe.

Other people's pets - so on your run, other people's animals might come after you, it's kind of scary sometimes. Sometimes they are friendly but others maybe territorial. BE careful, and maybe look up on how to deal with that.

Animals/Insects - Insects can be a real bother, gnats being breathed in by mistake, to being bitten by mosquitoes, flies flying in your face... wear bug spray if you know it's bug season. Animals maybe abound if running on a trail in the woods. Snakes often like to lay in the middle of the trail in summer on a warm sunny patch, watch out don't freak out. Deer, and other animals maybe around depending on where in the world you are running, they may be in the way or might jump out of no where or may run after you, so be wary.

Weather - rain can be a real bother, not only does it make it dull, but you're also wet, the trails get muddy, shoes get wet, not fun. However, it still is a situation we can deal with. Snow is great to run in because it's softer on the knees, but does make it harder if the snow is too deep. Ice is a very bad idea just because it can be slippery and one can fall and sustain injuries. Hail and other forms of hard precipitation can be injurious to the head, so I'd avoid that! Sunshine is great but remember sunscreen!

Terrain - be prepared, and research the terrain you will be running. Wear the right shoes- trail running shoes/ beach running, track, vs. road.

Sounds / noise - you might like your music blaring in the head phones, but I recently love running in the quiet listening to my breathe. Other times I enjoy listening to fellow runners talk! It's one thing we can't control so if you know it's going to be noisy find ear plugs, or head phones (if on an indoor track), otherwise due to safety reasons and road running, definitely use common sense! (one head phone in the ear). 

All things considered, enjoy your run, and remember it's always tough to find the "ideal" condition, place to run in, but eventually you'll get used to all these circumstances, and it's good to learn with all these various circumstances (makes for good stories).

Breathe!

Chronicles in Running - Part 3: My First 5k and more

It was the anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombings. And we were going to run our first 5k here in Cuyahoga Falls. I realized for the first time that I was now joining the "running" community. I realized the amount of training each Marathoner goes through, the mental transformation, physical, emotional... until race day, and beyond. Race day is amazing because there are a 1000 other people who have been training just like you. And we all run along these roads together, whether it's a full marathon or a 5k. We have to start somewhere.

Imagine then all these amazing people who've trained for a few months to a year if not more for a marathon, all together in one place. Their amazing enthusiasm, energy, focus, optimism, or sheer excitement to have FUN  in one place: It's awesome like a party, without alcohol... and everyone is invited. The energy is contagious. The energy helps you run, and carries you further than ever!

And then terror and tragedy strikes. 

It is so unfortunate.

I prayed and sent positive energy to the survivors and victims of the tragedy this past week. They all have amazing spirits!

In the light of their spirit and light, I ran on Saturday, my first ever 5k. It was great, warmer than what I've been used to training in. It was an amazing experience, and worth the many hours of preparation. The last maybe .25 miles of the race I sprinted with whatever was left of me, and I felt like my heart was going to burst. Lesson learned: sprint from a little closer next time!

Ryan, my wonderful boyfriend, had come out to cheer for me. It was so amazing to see him at different places of the track. It made me so happy! Like I felt like I needed to do my best and make not only myself, but him proud too! He was there supporting me, and I needed to do well! I came in 21st in my division, but that was ok, it was my first race!

After the race my parents showed up, they got lost, and they were late. We went for breakfast and ate, and then went home and lay in the sun for hours.

There's a lot to learn from running. I learned that I need to learn how to slowly incorporate drinking water in with my running. I realized Gu is gross! I learned that sunscreen is important for all exposed parts of the body (I forgot my neck and legs- worst tan lines ever!). I learned that young kids who are in the ROTC (Reserved officers training thingy) are so badass! They have to run in uniform, single file, with a pacer, the whole time singing a freaking song! So inspiring. I learned that people who come out and cheer and show support are winners too, for they give so much love.

Running is tough, it requires discipline and dedication. It's requires patience and understanding. There are so many other important things to learn for and from running. Most of all that you have to love running to run. It's difficult at first, but then you love it. (Running in a group really helps  ;-) ).

Chronicles in Running - Part 2: Shoes, Socks and Swag

On Sunday we ran 3.7+ miles, that's almost four miles. I had NO idea I could do it. There were some ghastly, killer hills, whom I resent utterly. My body was so tired and sore afterward. The ground (The Ohio-Erie Towpath Trail) was very bumpy since it hadn't thawed yet. But... I did it! And I was impressed with myself. It wasn't the shoes, my clothes or anything. It was me!

However shoes, socks, and appropriate clothing is simply important because it makes it comfortable. We have paved surfaces (impact on skeletal structure), vehicles (don't trip and fall especially due to floppy clothing), frigid temperatures (thermal layers), sweat building up (hot and cold can have some issues on the body). The wrong gear can cause injury as well as pain.  As we ran, I could feel a  blister had formed on my arches. The runners running with me asked me when I told them, if I had been "fitted" for the shoes. I said yes (we figured it was due to the uneven terrain).

In running you just don't find a shoe you fancy, and buy it. It's not about brand, or color or what you like, its about your stride, footfall, cadence, foot shape etc. You go to a specialty running store and you get fitted for one. I told the guy I wanted a minimalist shoe which I could wear on paved surfaces well; running barefoot, or with my vibrams on paved surfaces hurt. I prefer using those for trails. Footfall, I have trained to do so, so I fall on the ball of my foot. Most people fall on heel or midsole: different type of shoe. I got fitted and these asics (not my favorite brand)  gel lite 33 3 model (not my favorite color at all). Fit well, are comfy, the right amount of warmth, and they are minimalist enough without freezing my feet. They are ugly though have enough room for my crazy wide toes. Ok they aren't that ugly that I wouldn't wear them.

I had to put them on and run inside the store. It felt "normal", and great. Shoe was boughten! Then the very nice man at the Fleet Feet told me to definitely not wear cotton socks as they hold moisture and encourage funky fungi and bacterial growth... fun stuff. New shoes, luckily I had socks at home, I just liked the feeling of fresh cotton socks, new socks... what else?

While running with wonderful teams like Towpath turtles, and other runners, one learns new jargon. I learned the word Swag. Swag is the stuff you get from running in a race! I think the swag is usually like a medal, a t-shirt, sweat shirt, etc. Depending on how many miles you do, or something. It helps motivate you to run, if not feel like you're getting something after paying to run :-P

If you are interested in running but are not in shape at all, google Couch to 5K for various options on how to get off the couch and get moving. It starts with just a few minutes everyday! You can do it. Surprise yourself!

Chronicles in Running - Part 1

I read an article a few years ago which said either you had runner genes or you didn't. I dislike when preexisting unchangeable conditions prevent you from doing something you love doing. I am always reminded of the Para-Olympians who don't let ANYTHING stand in their way of their dreams, goals and passions. I was a runner, then I fell off the wagon, the wagon of which I was able to do 3-5 miles at an easy pace and be cool afterwards. I haven't been able to run since. Every-time I would run 3 miles and injure something.What was I do wrong?

Too much too fast too soon. 

I needed to start slow and small. In three weeks now, I am able to do 3 miles, slowly, and steady, without injury. Yes there is soreness, but not injury. The secret is I joined an awesome group: The Towpath Turtles, based out of Akron, Ohio. This group runs slow, and believes no one should run alone. So running with someone makes running more than bearable, it's almost easy. We learn to slow our pace to a "chat-able- pace", we learn form, we warm up and cool down, stretch, and cheer each other on. The team work, socializing and sharing common goals help. Just to be able to run a little longer.

Everyone may not have "Runner" genes, or be built athletic, but this does not mean we can not work with what we have. It may take longer, we might be slower, but we are still trying. Which is better than just sitting around and not trying. 

Mentally it is a struggle, but now it is so addicting (after three weeks) - the runner's high. It is so worth it. It wasn't there before, at 1 mile per day. Now at 1.5- 2 miles and at 3 miles the runner's high is strong and amazing. It almost even keeps you going.

Another thing that keeps you going, is its February/March in Ohio, and it is still well below 30*F. So the only way to keep warm, is to run, and keep moving. My first run with the group was in a blizzard right after I had gotten back from California. The snow was in my eyes, and it was freezing. We completed running  with a few walks in-between; it was a memorable experience. I am that person that goes for a run in a blizzard.

The feeling of completing a run is fantastic. It is an achievement for yourself. One learns a lot of life lessons metaphorically, a lot of health tips, and a lot about racing. It may be tough to run at first, it maybe difficult to get motivated, it maybe challenging to understand why run at all. Once you start, it is self explanatory.

More to come!

(What do you want to read about running?)

Breathe!

On Reincarnation

Driving to work after lunch, my dad tired, weary, and in pain from a recent tooth extraction talks to me about life, issues in life, and life after death... (in Bengali):

Dad- I have only one more reincarnation.
Me- Oh really?
Dad- yeah. I have a choice between a cricket or a butterfly.
Me- Go with butterfly.
Dad- I will do that. I just need to check the right box, and send in the form.

Always many laughs with my dad!

Looking Back On Life, Achievements, Career... At 31

31 years is a long time, but not really that long, its about perspective. I just realized it is my birthday this week, and I had nothing planned. I have been so busy with life, work, changes, health, that I totally forgot my flipping 31st birthday.

Oh boy! I've crossed over the 30 hill, and I will say this whole "grownup, non-college student, real life, responsibility is all over-rated. Kids don't know how good they have it, despite having their sugar limits controlled, etc. They need to chill out and enjoy life, moments, when they have the time, because as we grow time flies by faster, and we don't pause and enjoy the moments, and life as much. C'est la vie!

31, what have I accomplished? A couple of degrees, this job, and another job... but they don't seem as important to me as other amazing things I have done. I learned to rock climb, I climbed half way up a mountain and then felt pretty sick, so had to come back down, but I tried, I got half way up. Next time it will be all the way! I learnt from this that Climbing isn't about brute force, its all about the mind, overcoming it, coming to terms with it, and using the brain to figure out how.

There was a spontaneous trip. I went to Yosemite, although just for a day, I went there with my sister. It was our first adventure together! This was a place I had heard about, read about, dreamed about since I was a child. Just being present there was awe inspiring. You can read my blog about it here.

Realizations have been arrived at in my 30th year: I'm a pretty badass, hardworking, strong, and passionate person. Somewhere along the way I stopped believing in myself. Maybe the lack of enthusiasm and optimism from jaded seniors rubbed on to me? Maybe it was that the hard times or the reality that a fancy degree does not mean you land your perfect job. In fact it takes a lot of searching to find that. Finally I remembered why Pree is so awesome! I first quit eating meat when I was in 3rd or 4th grade. I couldn't deal with the cruelty. I was able to give up caffeine, meat, dairy, alcohol this past year. I did not miss a single Yoga teacher training class, this girl who tries to wiggle out of most commitments, made a commitment that i would keep all my commitments, or be utterly honest about why I was backing out, (even if it was just because I was tired and just needed "me" time).

I am a badass, and always have been. an amazing example is when I was 17: I shaved off my hair (before Britney did)! This was in the 12th grade about Jan or Feb, my senior year, kind of right before the farewell party (kind of like prom). I just didn't want my hair to define me. I was tired of being judged by the way I looked, girls disliked me, guys objectified me... so off the hair came. This experience taught me alot about hair: it grows back, hair on our bodies make so much difference, yet so little. This taught me a lot about people: many people who were my friends, disappeared into the woodwork. I found out who my true friends were, I learned that hair is so easy to have, we hide behind it, it takes so much confidence to be bald. Walking into school was so tough the first day, everyone stared, people asked me dumb questions, like if I had cancer. I told them all to Sod  off. Some people don't care how you look, they love you for you, others are all about judging on outward appearances... hmm! Remind you of the millionaire who dressed up like a bum? So many stories... 

Being bald is tough, carrying yourself with a bald head is tougher than with hair: more reason to be self conscious... or does societal norms make that happen? Days passed by and each day became easier, not because the hair was growing back, but because I learned to carry that head, I knew I was more than just my hair, and looks.

The Olympics, the world cup, yoga, the grand slams of Tennis: I love sports, and have always taken part in sports. A lot of my passions always lay in athletics because it seemed so real to test the human spirit through our bodies, thus mind and soul. Being an athlete takes immense discipline, it has nothing to do with race, genetics, gender... its about your state of mind. I wanted to be a "Yogi", and I am slowly getting there. It's not unattainable. I want to be a runner, I am runner, I might not be Usain Bolt, but I am closer than I was yesterday. It's not about losing weight, its about setting goals, being healthy, and becoming the Pree I want to be. This year I'll be blogging on my journeys through running, hope you'll check in on it! Hope to run a half marathon by September!

Who Moved My Cheese, it was the wake up call, that 'hey changes happen'. However, actual growth is a conscious decision. Of course one could succumb to the societal norms of growth, its the easy way, but every now and then there are those, like me, who chose to grow differently in life. I picked a different path, and I am brave enough to go down it alone, and with loved ones. It takes more conscious of a "I will grow" factor. It's different from going from job to job, it definitely requires getting out of all your comfort zones, making sacrifices... etc. C'est La Vie!

Online dating does work: I met my boyfriend online, it was a long process, we lost touch, and reconnected, met in person. We clicked, and it's been a wonderful 3.5 years getting to know each other. :-) I will say it did take a lot of men who didn't match what I wanted in life before I met Ryan, but I am glad I waited, and tried. In fact I had almost given up hope with the male kind when I met him. I love him deeply, and dearly. We make such a good team - tandem kayaking, biking, hiking, camping, travelling, moving,  gaming, cooking... and most of all just being!

Pursuing Dreams: it can be done, just takes a lot of growth, mental awareness, and mentally, physically being able to digest that "Wow that's a heck of a mountain, but I can climb it. *gulp*" - it's OK to be overwhelmed, scared, but once you take the first step. You know you can do it. I've been writing my first book, half way through I realized how huge this is, how difficult, tiring, and complicated, but at the same time so simple. So its really about building blocks, taking one step at a time. Phewie - Breathe!

I had no idea what my "dreams" / goals were until I created a vision board. First I stuck pictures that I wanted on there, then pictures I liked, and things which I wished I would / could become. A year and a half later, encouraged by a friend, I finished my Yoga Teaching Studies Certificate, I received a raise at work... it was happening just like the stuff I stuck on my vision board. Now looking to further improve, am creating a new vision board.

My spiritual path, learnings, studies, reflections, and teachings have all deepened while on this journey. I have been able to meditate for an hour a more at least once a week, and practice a daily meditation/ yoga practice. Although my daily practice may range from a short 15 minute to an hour, I make sure i touch upon some form of meditation, yoga or Pranayam. My self discipline has increased, and I impress myself with my abilities daily. On weekends I am a little more laid back, or else I would be burnt out.

I think on writing this I reflect on what brings value to me and my life, especially since I panic after crossing 30. I say, measure yourself in experience and growth, and not in "accomplishments". If we live from one goal to the next, we forget to be, and the journey is the important part. So keep sight of your goals, let them free flow, but always remember to be true to yourself, to be present in each moment, and most of all be happy in what you do.

Weather: It Happens

It's subzero again!

There definitely is a threshold somewhere, between 13*f to 25*f which just feels awfully cold, but below 13*f its just cold, and then exhilarating. I have now come to love it, but aah the finger and toe pains. It may be frost bite setting in, but its manageable if you find a place to thaw.

Going to watch "Frozen" today... how apt is that?

Anyway, we always let weather affect us, our moods, our chatter, how about we affect weather! Be happy at it... if anything the happiness will just bounce back and make you giggle. Just don't let weather get you down, cause then things just go downhill from there.

Yeah am pretty sure this crazy weather is a culmination of many factors, geographic, environmental, etc. In the end we have to just deal with what we are handed, so let's make the best of it? Complaining, blaming, and signing petitions... (that last one might help, I don't know), won't really stop the coldness from freezing, or the heat from droughting, so suck it up, pull yourself together and be!
Then choose to be happy!

Breathe!

Brave

Brave is a wonderful animated movie, I would recommend it to everyone to watch. The movie hit a note in my heart: my mother and I. The movie is about Merida and her mother. Merida is a tom-boy, who doesn't want to get married to some guy her parents picked out for her. Another theme I am so familiar with in my own life. This movie resonated with me. As I watched it I shivered, even more, cause apart from the story, there'something about the Gaelic, the Celtic music style, and the Scottish accents, that speaks to my soul. I felt at home, in a different sense. I've always fantasized about the green forests of Ireland, and hills of Scotland, the country side, the dancing, the culture, the people... something about the bagpipes, something about the music, something that sings straight to my heart. What is that something?

(now i'm sitting and listening to as much as Celtic music, or songs sung in Gaelic as possible.)

Thoughts: So often we get so caught up in our identity today, now, me- me - me, I- I- I... ie. I'm a proud Indian, with rich cultural heritage, and I like strawberries, and I like only reading classics, and I like to be well mannered, and I like to wear black boots, etc. etc. Then some one is like, I am American, and USA is a great nation to be from; Or I am Chinese, and Chinese culture and older than India's... and so on and so forth. When I was young I was so enthralled by diversity, culture, languages, religions, practices in the world, that I wanted to be a citizen of the WORLD. As I grew up though I encountered organized religion which told me that one religion was less than another, and that one country was superior to the other. However all these people, and countries had citizens or members who were kind and giving... so confusing! Pride - giving? Ego - kindness? Total opposites? It might be a totally different thought process to meditate upon.

I wondered what if in my last life I was a Scotsman? Or an Irish lass? What if I was once a native american princes? or a Japanese Samurai? What if in another lifetime I was an Mesopotamian trader? DO we lose the big picture when we identify with what we are in this life time? I could have been anyone, thus the saying in Isshinryu Karate - the way of the one heart - We are all one. I could have been you, and you me... 

Then again your religion is better and superior than mine and doesn't believe in reincarnation... so go ahead and be mean to be. But aha all religions preach teach and maybe practice - forgiveness, kindness, giving, and love!

Going back to the big picture... I'm an Indian now and know my culture, but what if I had been an Irishman in my past, and Italian, can I embrace those as ME? or must I be only what my birth certificate says? I know the law is in place to help us, but why not be a global citizen at heart? Why don't we realize that our fates are intertwined with the earth as a whole, with each other, and its not separate? Why do we limit ourselves so? Why aren't we brave enough to embrace all?

Breathe

Any good Gaelic/ Celtic music recommendations? I can't wait to go over there one day!

The Best Year Yet!

Two weeks ago it was the 1st day of the New Year, and I realized a lot of things. On social media everyone was saying Happy New Year, this will be the best year yet, but I couldn't feel that excitement or joy. Why are people so excited for the New Year? Or are they just happy to be at a party? Life flows, I never really see any clear demarcations, some events stand out more than others. From a financial stand point, sure the Newish fical year begins, but hey we still have to pay bills from last year, etc. So what are we really celebrating?

My boyfriend, Ryan, and I had a quiet New Years Eve together, and we watched Space Balls. In the middle we watched the ball drop in Times Square, New York City. It was another year beginning for sure. He played Auld Lang Syne for me on the guitar, which was lovely, as I felt the frenzy and rush to text everyone I know. Highly overrated. I felt the need to drink copious amounts of liquor, cause that just seems the thing to do on holidays.

I was trying to help me feel excited but deep in my heart I knew the truth. If I thought 2013 was tough, 2014 will be tougher still, it maybe my toughest year ever! There are decisions to make, big changes and let's not forget taking risks. So, here I am trying to feel excited like everyone else, but it was not going to happen. I have this enormous task at hand, which is my path, my life, it's no one else's, and it seems really daunting, if not overwhelming. I have so many goals set forth this year- improving my health, losing weight, running more, climbing more, yoga-ing more, writing more, maybe changing my job, maybe starting a business, maybe switching careers...

This year I turn 31; So far I've gathered I'm not a normal human being. Yep, I'm 31 and haven't "settled down", at all, not even in life. Let's say normal is the net in a tennis court, I'm a little past the service court boxes, the weird and outlandish are at the baseline and the crazies are like where Nadal hits his awesome shots from with those grunts, way back near back-screen where the ball boys await. (anyway in tennis, Olympics and football mode since the Australian open is upon us, and World Cup and Olympics soon to be!) Anyway, I dunno why I can't just settle down, maybe cause there's still so much to see, learn, do, experience, live, explore...

So far I think I've been dealing with what this tough year has thrown at me pretty well, I had to give up drinking, cause it was a major downer, and I need me to pick me up! I was overwhelmed, anxious about this new year, I felt bad that I could not say this will be the best year yet. All I thought to myself was this will be a tough year, and I found myself facing the Moguls skiing; hitting each bumps, gaining speed rapidly heading down hill, obstacle after obstacle looming, and me losing control. I should quit right now, I thought, but it was no solution, I knew, and as I tried to take a turn I crashed. Yep no more drinking for me, I picked up the pieces and realized if I don't flip my attitude it would be the worst year yet, if not just the toughest.

This year has been challenging and will continue to be so, and I am ready for it, although I did shed a tear or two, I know I can handle it. I will drive forward into midfield, maneuver through the defense and kick that goal! It will be a long game, so need to build my stamina, strength, and willpower, not to forget motivation and determination, and I know I will see myself through. And tough does not necessarily mean worst, flip that negativity to positivity. Flip that attitude, kinda like a flip in Aerial skiing, always landing on your feet! Bring it!

I hope everyone else has a lovely year! And I know I will too, now, I know I will.


Breathe!

The Thing About Resolutions...

It's 2014! Happy New Year, readers!

Resolutions? Well I have a few, but the thing about resolutions is after the first quarter it disappears! So why do we make them?

The idea of a resolution is to change our habits, to grow, better, and to make this positive change a habit and integrate it into our being. The thing is if we don't see it as a part of us from the beginning, it's never going to work. One has to be mindful, and conscious of this new aspect throughout the year, until it's an old aspect. Right?

Let's take for example losing weight. People work out for the first 3 months, until they lose 10 lbs! They are like Yay! The thing is then they leave it. The thing about weight loss is continuing with an active lifestyle. Plus eating healthy, etc., as I have mentioned in my other blogs. Kind of like weight loss, lets look at giving up a certain behavior pattern, for something better, ie. being more positive, quitting alcohol. These are tough changes, and more psychological than what a "resolution" represents these days. Instead of trying to become more positive, start by saying I am positive person, and follow through with a positive action. While breaking a bad habit, such as quitting drinking, or coffee, is weaning yourself off it, substituting, and disassociating with that thing (in this case alcohol).

So a resolution is in fact a lifestyle change often, right? Unless it's something like, this year I will connect with my high-school friends, or will go on a vacation this year. Sometimes those too include lifestyle changes, making time for new people in your life, or saving up for that vacation.

Here I am able to finally explain my resolutions:
1) to be more present, especially in the presence of loved ones. This means being more conscious of my actions and behavior over all. I do feel meditation can help me. Staying true to myself too.
2) I will, try to be less attached to my cell phone this year. I will try to curb my Nomophobia.
3) Follow through with my book plans, which means less TV, and less Xbox, more focusing on projects.
4) Lose weight. Going to the gym everyday to get either 15-20 minute work out in, or for a whopping two hours. Whatever the duration of the work out, goal is at least 10-14 miles a week.
5) Eating healthy, it starts at home! I'm going to learn to be happy and satisfied, binge-ing on carrots... actually as my personal trainer says, if you want some cake, have it, 1 small piece, just remember to do the work for it.
6) Save more money, spend less!

Those are my small - big goals! What are your "resolutions"?


Breathe!

Utterly Honest: My Fat Body

Have you ever had that feeling, when your putting on your favorite pair of slacks and suddenly your ass is in the way, and you're like "What! Where did this globulous-blobness come from?" And suddenly life is different and the wake up call to make a change has rung loudly in your ear.

Struggling with weight... ever since my hormones and ovaries went wacko, my life style changed, and my body changed. Since I fell off the "workout" wagon it was hard to get back on. Finally I've gotten back to the gym, and oh my, it's been tough!

Everyone is always like it doesn't matter what size you are, you must love yourself. Heck ya, I do love myself, my curves, my multiple spare tires, the love handles bla bla bla... but really, I have standards for myself. I rather not buy a new wardrobe with larger clothes sides. I know that my body type, my bone structure and I know there is only so much my bones can carry. There are things I want to do, I must lose the adipose tissue, the fat.

What happened? As I said I had health problems, and after a while I just had a hard time going back to the gym, my hormones were off, I was depressed, and it just kept layering on, the fat that is. Until I felt bad going to social events with friends, but still had to, but I was still to ashamed and embarrassed that it had come to this, pushing me into more depression. Thus the vicious cycle, so someone had to help me break it and that was me. People told me while I went through extreme self loathing, and mental/ emotional pain and agony of being unable to love my "curves" that I should accept myself and love myself, and we all come in all shapes and sizes. I get that! I won't be Kritsten Dunst skinny, or like Jessica Alba... those are not my body types. I can accept my body type and hold myself to standards... So I will work towards it in a healthy way.

So yes I love my body, I know I can be better, and no not cause I want to look like a skinny catwalk model, (although it might be nice), I just want to be healthy for me. I want to be attracted to me, I want to do child's pose again and not have my tummy come in the way. I want to look "athletic" to me again. I want to be athletic again. I have goals! Yes I am pretty hard on my self, let alone, family and loved ones telling me I am chubby, need to lose weight etc. I am so hard on myself, to the point it was scary to see myself naked. Now after 4 or 5 weeks of hard work outs, hours at the gym, I feel and see the difference, oh and some muscular injuries too... but results are really in the inches and not the number on the scale.

It's been pretty painful emotionally, mentally, and physically. Next time you see an obese person, think twice about making a rude comment. We don't know their story. Age, medical condition, genes, food availability, access to exercise, information and so many more issues can be the reason for obesity. Yes, sometimes there's pure gluttony, and laziness, but there is also depression, binging on comfort foods, so on and so forth. Sometimes sadness is something that can consume us to the point that we lose ourselves... to eating and sitting. So chubby people need help, kindness and encouragement.

Emotionally, I've had to motivate myself, overcome how I look in shorts and a t-shirt, overcome exercising in public and knowing that my jelly is bouncing around... dealing with my body unable to do what I could once do. It hurts and demotivates, but it takes a lot to just keep going, as Dory in Finding Nemo would say "just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming swimming swimming".

Mentally, I've had to just make myself go, shut of my mind, tell it to shut up. I had to shut up my internal critique, my self loathing, my self doubt... and just go through the exercise like I am a robot. However, in the end all the blood is in my muscles, so there is less thinking, and the endorphins just keep pumping out, making me feel better. So hush mind hush, this is a meditative practice.

Socially, I've had to turn down everything, just so I have 4-6 days of work out a week, 2-2.5 hours each day. Yeah at 30 more time is required to burrrrnnn the fat, and get tht metabolism going, unless you're one of those hyper metabolism people, who are magically thin no matter what they eat. Oh my! Anyway the good thing is, it's fall / winter so there aren't too much stuff going on, and it's perfect time to train for summer outdoor activities. Also winter is the time we tend to eat and sit around more, due to lack of stuff to do outside due to cold, snow and whatever inclement weather Ohio throws our way, so gym is great.

Physically, soreness, aches and pains, and initial injuries before the muscles get stronger. Stretch before exercising, warm up its easier on the muscles- basic important rules. Sometimes forgotten, but stretching is so important and yoga helps me so much too. So I go from being tight from working out, to stretchy in yoga... it's a tough body change to deal with. I love both though, eventually though one could almost only need yoga. Balance is always important though even in the yogic world. Listening to my body, not pushing myself too much, or not under-doing it was a challenge, and of course not even being able to do it, and finding modifications was another obstacle to overcome.

Diet: Eating healthy is another big lifestyle change one has to make initially to lose fat. Later we may reintroduce the unhealthy stuff in small amounts, however with thanksgiving it was kind of tough, yes Cheese was consumed. Recently a vegetarian, gave up all meat except fish, how do I get my protein? Oh fish, lentils, beans, chick peas!!!! Yeah so much more. I gave up dairy due to lactose issues, but good cheese in small amounts is ok, gluten gives me instant heart burn, and other problems the next day, so that is to a minimum too. Lots of grains, nuts, and veggies for me, let's not forget fruit. I eat an apple everyday. Caffeine is ZERO! Yes because it slows down metabolism although hypes you up, its the sugar, and whatever. I drink herbal teas like tulsi, and rose. Alcohol is the tough one, but since its mostly gluten I am left with ciders, and I am bored of apples, so wine it is. But it is only on weekends, as a result I am a lightweight! Processed foods and sugars are of course out of the question, especially soft drinks, etc. OUT! So although I have been eating healthy for about a year, exercise is key to inch-loss.

Why do we call it weight loss when muscle actually weighs more than fat, and fat is actually all inches! We should call it Inch Loss! This entire thing has been such a mind job, and I have to keep going. I have goals that I want to reach, ie. running a race with my bestie next year, running a lot, biking alot, climbing alot, yoga-assana-ing alot, and who knows what else! Most of it is looking at my bi-weekly semi-naked selfie which Ryan helps me with, and saying I love you, and hey we can get through this!

Ok now that I'm done being utterly honest... I can get the rest my body needs.

Breathe!

A Poem: Kindness and Caring

To be kind and to care

Is a gift I try to share,

It is difficult at times

To forgive others of their crimes.

My heart is big, brimming with love,

I come in peace, I fly the white dove,

I choose to be kind and nice

To both men and mice.

Some mistake my kindness

To be a great weakness,

Some think my sharing

Is something so daring.

These are my choices

To stand up for unheard voices,

This is who I am,

I wash myself in the blood of the lamb.

There is a joy in giving,

Service is the purpose for us living,

People fear giving,

For they often fear living.

Sometimes we become selfish

After being hurt by those who are devilish,

We close the doors to our heart

Keeping us apart.

There are those who take advantage of my kindness,

Often rendering in my mind and heart a huge mess,

I hope they learn and grow someday

Or else I fear their future is dark and grey.

Letting go of our egos

Loving our foes,

Are what religious books preach

For some these goals are so hard to reach.

I warn those who hurt me,

That I will give them a chance or will let them just be,

Cutting all ties,

I will not deal with lies.

I do not have swords or guns

And about me and my heart you may make fun,

I may be struck down,

But on my face you will never find a frown.

I'm not perfect, for I do falter,

But my shortcomings I always try and alter,

I try hard to keep my word,

I try to not let my anger be spurred.

My strength lies in my heart,

Which is wide as an ocean, and warm as a hearth,

My strength lies in my mind,

I realize to be sharing, caring and kind.

Breathe.

The Wall - Jon's Lament

"You know nothing, Jon Snow." Yigrette
She would tell me many a time,
Then she betrayed me like I would never forget,
She did what she knew, I forgive her of her crime.

The wall it stands there,
Looming,
Just thick ice reflecting the sun's glare,
Throughout the North, where it is forever gloaming.

Shall we place the wall between us?
With you on the cold side
Me on the South side
It freezes our love and trust.

I was always true,
To my black brothers and to you.
Then there was that moment,
When I had to choose, and it was sealed in cmement.

I chose to forgive,
I chose mercy and honor,
For the old man to live,
We had him in a corner...

You killed the old man,
For what? He begged for mercy.
Then you shot me in the leg, woman!
I know all women are crazy...

You know nothing Jon Snow!
That's all you said,
South of the wall I knew all there is to know,
I loved you for more than just to take you to bed.

I knew we could have had a different life,
We could have started afresh,
Without sticking the man with the knife,
You went ahead and created a mess.

I know you would blame me,
Saying "you know nothing, Jon Snow",
I am not as naive as I seem to be,
You just didn't see the entirety of the show.

Now you are gone,
I shall miss you,
Remembering always all that was done,
However, everyday is begins anew.



For Jon Snow, of the Night's Watch, on the Wall...

Reject

Have you ever felt lonely in a crowded room
Everyone's laughing, talking, mingling,
The room is bright and yet you see only gloom
And in your ear the endless silence ringing.

Have you ever felt left out
Of a circle of smiling friends,
As they make plans without a doubt
Not inviting you, not even an apology to make amends.

Have you ever felt not good enough
Like you were not pretty, thin, or buff
That your friendship didn't count
They only wanted someone they could flaunt.

Have you ever felt hurt
More painful than the deepest cut,
When someone you love pushes you away
Even though they will need you once again, some day.

Have you ever felt abandoned
Not loved or cared for, instead only scorned,
Forgotten in lieu
Of someone new.

Have you ever felt replaced
When they replace you with another face,
What did your friendship mean
Or was this the worst yet to be seen.

Have you ever felt betrayed
Like what happened to Robb and Catelyn, at the hands of the Freys,
To be treated as family only to be stabbed in the back
Those types of people aren't worth jack.

Have you ever felt rejected
Like your own father won't accept you
Like Tyrion his who life, dejected,
Discriminated like a diseased ridden ewe.

It's good to know
These are just feelings
A chemical reaction that may pass.
It's sad to feel, however,
For these are people's feelings,
Of which we should be mindful of, or peace,
is the ultimate goal.



Breathe



Tribute to Tyrion and Penny.

When Dreams Whither and Die

Life is not what I dreamt it would be:

Knights in armor; oh the chivalry,

Fancy balls, handsome princes, long lovely dresses,

Palaces, fine things, and romantic kisses...

Whatever happened to my dream?

Why does real life make me want to scream?

I can't scream, I must be strong,

Maybe my true strong prince will come along.

Who am I fooling?

All my schooling?

It was all for naught,

If only my sister, with my prince, hadn't fought.

My prince began to loath me,

He couldn't even stand the sight of me,

So I tried my best to win his favor,

In whatever way, whatsoever.

I was selfish,

And as I undid my father, I did relinquish

For a while. Until I realized I did never see the whole game,

I brought shame unto my family's name.

With that shame I still live,

What a heavy burden, which I can not share or give,

My father dead, my mother and brother dead too

Of my other siblings, I have no clue.

They wed me to the imp,

Foiled was the plan to wed me to the cripple prince with a limp,

I was hounded, I was whisked away,

And to the tallest tower to stay.

Whatever happened to my dream?

Why does real life beg me to scream?

I can't scream, I must be strong,

Maybe my true strong prince will come along.

From the tower I came descended,

A whining prince in tow, undefended,

Winter is coming,

And a surprise awaiting.

My new father awaited me,

He said "Guess who your new husband will be?"

I masked my shock and sorrow with joy,

Alas I am still treated as a piece, as a toy.

I was a dreamy young girl once,

I dreamt of gallant princes and Knights,

All to be shattered and prove me a dunce, 

Everything to wither into the winter of night.

I was taught the story that princes and knights were honorable,

I was shocked to learn that this was naught

The queen herself proved to be dishonorable,

This is the new story I have been taught.

I am now a woman grown,

It was not as I thought it would be, and the truth of it makes me groan,

My family gone, and I am helpless with no one to trust,

I am me no longer, but I am another; and men still lust.

Whatever happened to my dream?

Nothing goes my way it seems,

I can't give in, I must be strong,

Maybe my true prince will come along.

Someday...

Till then Winter Is Coming,

For spring I shall wait,

The Summer was strong and shinning, 

The Autumn reality grim and stark with a cold fate.

-Pree for Sansa 9/23/2013

And to the tallest tower to stay

They wed me to the imp

Life is not what I dreamt it would be:

Knights in armor; oh the chivalry,

Fancy balls, handsome princes, long lovely dresses,

Palaces, fine things, and romantic kisses...

Texts From Dad - Game of Thrones in Real Life

Me- Hi
Dad- Where is she? I can't find her
Me- Who?
Dad- Ma
Me- I don't know... where are you? What's going on?
Dad- I found her next to south wall full of snow covered!
Me- What are you talking about?
Me- Game of Thrones?
Dad- Yes. Now we are playing real life GoT.
Me- Where are you and ma playing game of thrones in real life?
Dad- At Wall Mart


Get it "Wall" mart!

They aren't too pleased with season 3... wait till they see the red wedding... :-O

Texts From Dad - Pentathlons

Dad- where r u? What's up? R u coming? What do u say now? Love- Babi
Me- at pentathlon
Dad- What is that- a jungle or a store like pantaloon?
Dad- or like a python or mython like the dam near durgapur?
Me- a competition
Dad- who can compete you in Ummm... Ummmm....

the equestrian event

House Cleaning

I cleaned up my facebook finally!
from a 1000 to 600 something...

Why did I have to "unfriend" so many?

There are people who I always reach out to but never reply, or there are people who are not that close to me, I haven't seen them in years, acquaintances etc. I didn't get rid of them entirely, they are all transferred to a different more professional profile (kinda working on somethings right now, and really need to go into myself, and share less, its a very personal thing). Really just sorting and finding who my true friends are, my friends who hang out with me, who are excited to be with me... There is such a difference, and I am here open to friendship, its all up to the other person.

What makes the other person a good friend?
1- honesty
2- communication
3- nurturing the friendship / making it grow
4- being truthful when feeling flaky about showing up, communication
5- being there when times are bad
6- being there when times are good
7- give and take, take and give
8- being genuine
9- humble
10- loyalty
....

There are so many things that make a good friend, and some people have said I am a difficult to be friends with cause of the high standards. Well I am an extremely empathetic (an empath), I am sensitive, so I need to surround myself with the best. To protect myself, my heart, and its hard to keep giving, I am not martyr.

People move on in life, and grow, make their own friends. It is understandable that some would not be able to or wish to stay in contact. I see no why they should linger on my personal page. I'm not in their lives, they aren't in my life. I think my sis did a sorting of a similar sort recently, and I have friends who have done the same. Although I say this, I often end up in one-way friendships, I let people do that to me, but I can't anymore.

I need to surround myself with people who are excited to be with me! Who want to hang out with me, who aren't using me, or I am just another picture on their facebook wall. I will not be that person anymore... I will not reach out and not get a reply for vast amounts of time...

I will not tolerate arrogance. Why is it that when some of my friends have received PhDs they began acting haughty, or in laymen's terms - they became total jerks. Isn't education supposed to better people? Why am I suddenly lesser, and not deserving of their respect? My father (an Indian man) always told me PhDs are always respected, and most respected. Do they always give respect though? You get respect if you give respect, not if you studied something for longer than another person. So you have some letters in front of your name, so you have another paper, so you spent more money to educate yourself, so you may earn more... so what? In the end "Winter IS Coming". In the end we are all but carbon molecules...

(that sure was a little rant).

I will be mindful to not become a jerk when I get more papers saying that I know "stuff", in the future. It is tough to be mindful, and it is always important to apologize to friends when you realize you have hurt them. I love the healthy communication, respect and love I have with some of my friends. Yes it's almost like an relationship. In fact it is. Maybe that's why people think being my friend is so demanding... what good is a friend who is not there for you when times are down, who won't go to watch movies with you, who lies to your face, who never stays in touch, who doesn't respect you or your feelings?

Yeah... surround yourself with Good people, Good friends... not Cool, but Good, and they will automatically be cool, cause you are cool. When you have a good friend, it won't even seem like so much work, because it will be so natural.

Breathe

biking with climbing friends.. ok climbing family!

fun time with friends!... family...

The Game of...

Everyone plays a game;

There is the game of love,
Until you become jaded and frayed.
Some play silly games, innocent as a dove,
Until your heart is broken from all the games played.

Men play the game of thrones
Across cities, countries and continents,
How the people weep,
When the Rich play their games.

There is The Game,
That no one can never be win,
No throne to claim,
No prize at the end. Just naught. Fin.

Valar Morghulis.

The game of life,
Some are aware of it, Some call it strife,
Some are caught up in the petty,
To worried about wealth, or looking pretty.

The game of life,
We all seem to play,
Some play it with ethics and morals,

Some with another man's wife.


The game of life,
A tricky one it is, some play it with a knife,
Some play it well, some play you for a fool,
Some are conniving, while others... pure evil.

Some play bravely, others are loyal and true...
Which one are you?
What game do you play?
Oh hark, you will pay you toll at the end of the day.

Valar Morghulis.

I Have A Dream...

A long long tiem ago, when i was just a child, I went to this amazing school, The School- KFI, a school founded and based on J. Krishnamurti's philosophy. At this school we had something called The Drama Festival. Different schools would come over and perform plays, for the enrichment and education of the children. There were themes, and different types of plays. Some were abstract, some were entirely original, others were old plays done before. We had much fun at these drama festivals. It was not a competition but a learning experience, and we would write summaries on the plays, what it meant to us etc. The 11th and 12th grades would perform the plays.

One year, a guy who I was dating, my first ever boyfriend actually, was in one of the plays for the Drama Festival. He was to recite a speech. He told me I'm giving the "I have a dream" speech. I was young and history was never my strong subject.
Me - What?
He- the "I have a dream" speech, its from your America, only.
Me- never heard of it.
He- come on it's Martin Luther King! you should know this, you're American.
Me- Martin Lou the King?? I didn't know America had Kings!
He- I give up! You know nothing Priyanka

At least that's how I remember the conversation going.
It took me a while to learn who Martin Lou the King was... wow I had been ignorant! Or just in the wrong country? I only heard the speech years later when we were learning to unlearn hate, stereotypes, discrimination at an orientation. I didn't know the whole history of the civil war, until recently; My friend Jala encouraging me to attend an African music and dance festival, which happened to be about the emancipation of slaves, watching movies like Django Unchained, and Lincoln have educated me about the history of African Slaves in the Americas, about discrimination, abuse and human rights. Recent events such as the Trayvon Martin murder, have shed light on how much discrimination still prevails today and how this country works. How the world works.

So when and how will this dream come true?
When will we REALLY start educating our children, our people? When will we stop teaching hate, and teaching love?
When will we learn to share?

Breathe