A Poem: Kindness and Caring

To be kind and to care

Is a gift I try to share,

It is difficult at times

To forgive others of their crimes.

My heart is big, brimming with love,

I come in peace, I fly the white dove,

I choose to be kind and nice

To both men and mice.

Some mistake my kindness

To be a great weakness,

Some think my sharing

Is something so daring.

These are my choices

To stand up for unheard voices,

This is who I am,

I wash myself in the blood of the lamb.

There is a joy in giving,

Service is the purpose for us living,

People fear giving,

For they often fear living.

Sometimes we become selfish

After being hurt by those who are devilish,

We close the doors to our heart

Keeping us apart.

There are those who take advantage of my kindness,

Often rendering in my mind and heart a huge mess,

I hope they learn and grow someday

Or else I fear their future is dark and grey.

Letting go of our egos

Loving our foes,

Are what religious books preach

For some these goals are so hard to reach.

I warn those who hurt me,

That I will give them a chance or will let them just be,

Cutting all ties,

I will not deal with lies.

I do not have swords or guns

And about me and my heart you may make fun,

I may be struck down,

But on my face you will never find a frown.

I'm not perfect, for I do falter,

But my shortcomings I always try and alter,

I try hard to keep my word,

I try to not let my anger be spurred.

My strength lies in my heart,

Which is wide as an ocean, and warm as a hearth,

My strength lies in my mind,

I realize to be sharing, caring and kind.

Breathe.

Manifest Your Dreams

"Dream Big
Start Small
Act Now"

These were the words I heard multiple times by my high school Principal Mr. Hartnett. It was something so inspiring, but I had no idea what it truly meant until recently.Sometimes it takes time to grow into a quote, words of wisdom. The time and circumstances has to be right, otherwise it means nothing.

This is the power of now, being present, and mindful: picture your dream, your goals. What you want to do/be 2 years from now. Imagine it. Let it go.


Start NOW, don't wait till tomorrow! Why would you put off your dreams, or something that leads to your dreams for another day, year? This is why we end up regretting, we live others' dreams, goals, ideas, visions, and advice, and neglect our own. When you believe in your dream it can happen, you just have to act on it, and act right.

The key is starting small. You can't just dream of being a millionaire and expect it to happen, you have to start somewhere. So start small, and in the end as long as you act on it, you will grow closer to your vision.

I tried it and it worked on the small scale, now to manifest it bigger.

Breathe

Vacation and Limiting Social Networking

I went on vacation this past week. My friend challenged me to go this week with viewing and checking into facebook only twice a day before 9 am and after 9 pm only. Only two likes, statuses, and I wanted to keep the picture uploads to the minimum also. I deleted my facebook app completely from my phone, I kept myself signed out from facebook in general. The hardest part was not liking a lot of different stuff, however it has lessened a lot!

I didn't post any pictures, except two or three, and mostly I emailed or texted them to the near and dear people. Sorry if you weren't one of them, but you gotta earn it! Yep it's a new elite club of getting close to pree. Wasn't it that way before the boom of social media, myspace, facebook, and instagram? No one knew you got married unless you were super rich and had the biggest wedding the town ever saw or if you were in with the people big time, but now EVERYONE knows thanks to facebook, if you or your spouse remembers to update. And usually someone does, or someone posts the pictures, its like your own personal  paparazzi... I get it, I was super excited about the whole thing, until recently. Until I realized how it was affecting me. So it's a good thing and a bad thing, right now am so glad I am keeping it to a minimum.

I kept my statuses to a minimum, and texted, or emailed if I had to communicate with someone. I think mostly my friend and Ryan posted most of the pictures. Oh I had fun though, and was able to be present more because I didn't worry about other stuff. We caught up with news, weather and the world on tv at night, and well Mandy and Ryan checked Yahoo! everyday. It's popular and a favorite for both of them! At times I did look over their shoulders when they facebooked, but I was mindful! Laying on the beach and doing nothing, not even texting, or scrolling through endless nonsense on the phone. If I needed to know something I would wiki it or wait till I got home, or actually think about it. I got a book to help me with things I was interested in.

My holiday was a success, and my rehab is going pretty well. It's just the beginning, and I have a long way to go. I hope to make it through and become "NORMAL" with the help of family, loved ones and friends. To a more healthy living!

Breathe!

Cleaning

Struggling with Addictions

Remember the blog I wrote about social networking addictions? Well I suffer deeply. I was just spending time with my boyfriend this weekend, and he was like put the phone down, and then we can commence cuddling. So I did, begrudgingly, but I knew he was pointing something important out. I have about a 1000 friends, and sometimes I feel the pressure of having to check it. One knows who are the frequent posters, the unfrequent-facebook checkers, some people go through phases, of checking it for a week... I don't know how or why I got so consumed by this. I am known to be a frequent fb user, so I feel pressured when I don't post something. It's been only one month since my facebook hiatus in February. I have a problem.

I spoke to a friend who told me "try to avoid confrontational situations, just chill." When I explained further, he said " you just sound vexed". So he commented "first of all facebook is stupid. Stop fucking commenting on random shit that doesn't affect you leave FB alone. All it will do it annoy you later." We have helped each other through tough times, and continue to do so, he was one of the few who recently helped me figure out that whole "shoulds" and "is" issue. He diagnosed me after listening to how "wired" I am. He said "You have it worse than a alcoholic or a druggie!!! A person who is constantly distressed by her accomplishments and shit and is on fb every 3 hrs connected via phone, laptop... !!!! Close your fucking account!" (Sometimes harsh language helps jolt stuff into your head, subtlety is at loss.). Strangely my sister advised the same, so after much gerrymandering I accomplished (due to spotify now being connected to faceboo, so annoying!).

 My friend went on to point out "Do a poll of all your friends.The most chilled out dudes, I'm sure barely ever get on fb.Getting on fb is a choice YOU are making!" Which is kind of true, live life more, internet less, fall less in the "busy trap"... busy doing what? Rule of thumb, and when joining any any any social network remember "you can not post stuff on fb and not expect to see peoples opinions on it, then some idiot will say something that bugs you." Which is true, which we forget. Election times are the worst, all other times are pretty tough too.

About idle time he suggested "if you are bored find healthy stuff to surf." To prevent me from re-activating it in a day he said "I know you will reactivate it in a day... every time you check facebook an animal dies a painful death ok!!!! That should help you." And it does, I remember the same tactic used to curb children from masturbating which is actually healthier than other stuff kids do today (Steubenville, Ohio)!

Why is this a problem? Often time it leads to a difference of opinion, ego bruising, and even confrontations. I know among kids it could lead to break ups, bullying etc. Personally I've lost friends, and its the worst thing to lose friends over, the silliest of arguments blow up into a volcano. I think social networking, facebook, meme's increase the likely hood of ruined friendships. Often times one can successfully show another person "hey you can look at the issue from this perspective", and that person acknowledges. Then you think you can take it further and change the world. Which leads to worse stuff. Social networking is now used to push ideas, products, political parties, etc. etc. *sigh* What happened to good old friendship? It's a tough world, and facebook, the internet and media, bring that world into your place of solace. Yikes! We can't fight it, but we can choose to let it not affect us. I know I let it affect me, just as my friend said. I need to distance myself and let it go. Seeing things for what it is and not getting wrapped up in the chaotic allure of it all... so difficult to do sometimes!

There seems to be increasing effort and research in studying the use of technology as an addiction, in fact there is a program now which focuses on internet, electronics addictions.

Other helpful links:

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/managing-your-social-network-addiction.html
http://sobercollege.com/2012/social-media-young-adult-addiction-treatment
http://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/032210p8.shtml
http://socialtimes.com/fight-social-media-addiction_b4552
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/internet_cybersex_addiction.htm
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0924933810708464
http://www.opposingviews.com/i/troubling-social-media-addiction-statistics

I realize not everyone has this issue. Most people are able to balance things in their life for the most part right? So I just need more help than others! It's my problem, am helping my self!

:-)


Breathe!

Dualities of life... finding the balance
Picture courtesy Piyali

Let's Talk About Weight Baby!

So I just read this article by NPR and it compelled me to write this piece.

Are you Obese? Do you need to lose weight? Do you want to get healthy? Do you want to safe on future health costs? Do you want to look good for you?

I know I do!
Have you tried the following and it didn't work for you?
Diets - doesn't work
Working out - doesn't work
Medicine - doesn't work
Surgery- doesn't work
Cleanse - doesn't work
Walking - doesn't work
Support Group - doesn't work
Counting Calories - doesn't work

So weight loss isn't easy, but luckily it isn't rocket science, but it is science and it is life. Your life. Forget media, and body image, this is about getting healthy- preventing diabetes, depression, heart disease, etc. etc. etc. We also want to not push it the weight loss issue to the point of Bulimia or Anorexia. First find out a good body weight for your height, age, sex and body frame. Yes, we all want to look like either Kate moss, or Beyonce, but we are blessed with unique bodies. Each one is so different.

What weight loss method have you tried? How long did you try it for? Did it work? Why did you stop?

We live in a society where instant gratification of the senses is so important, easily available, and temptation is constantly flung at our faces, body, mind, and all our deepest desires. Yes I do want a huge Tiramisu all to myself. I think I can get it at any major grocery store, or probably an Olive Garden or Macaroni Grille, but I'm not going to give in to it. It's just not something I would do.

The secret to weight loss is a balanced, healthy, all - round approach. Support from friends and family, a healthy balanced diet, giving up bad habits (laziness, smoking, alcohol, caffeine, pop/soda, excessive carbs and comfort foods), anaerobic and aerobic exercise, yoga, meditation, periodic cleanses, self control and discipline. It's a whole life style change. Change from depressed to calm yet energized and focused. Change from stagnant body to active body. Change from eating garbage to eating mindfully and consciously. Change from instant gratification, to patience and new sources of gratification. Change from thinking fat, to thinking lean. Change from thinking negative to positive. Change from large portions to smaller portions. Change your Circadian cycle. Change from bad habits to good habits. Change to a better circadian cycle. Change from no stress management, to better, effective and healthy form of stress management. Change to trying new things like dance, yoga, zumba etc.

It's about balance, and being responsible to yourself.
Find a combination that works for you, your body, your life and work.
Be good to yourself, be nourishing, loving, gentle, kind to yourself (which does not translate as indulge yourself in processed foods). Make yourself a colorful delicious salad, take time grocery shopping, reading labels, research what's good for you! Remember its about you, and your happiness after all. Surround yourself with good friends who support you in your endeavors!
You can do this!




Breathe with me friends! Breathe!

To Be a Writer

I wanted to be a writer ever since I had an imagination, and I could scribble characters which were alphabets to me. I first expressed myself by drawing, and then writing. My little 3 year old head had such thought and imaginations; I was fed books, cartoons, movies... and my brain would create a new world for myself from those ideas. It was truly glorious. I have always wanted to share it with the world.

The catch is, being a writer is like being an artist... you might as well be a poet or a penniless sitar player (Moulin Rouge reference). The profession of being a "Writer" was not in my parents vocabulary. Like all Indian parents, the idealized profession for their kids is: Doctor, Lawyer, Engineer. So hackneyed, so trite, yet it is the norm; so sad. However other occupations that lead to an abundance of wealth, and a "normal" life is acceptable, in example - business person, computer technology, research, etc. As long as you are able to follow the formula- Graduate, Get a Good Job (which pays enough to sustain you, parents, spouse and children, accomplish the following- buy house, car, get kids college educated, paid time off etc.). Cookie cutter houses, cookie cutter lifestyle. Life pattern: set. This is the best and safe route: take it. Best advice ever?

I like being safe, but I don't want the above. I've been searching my whole life, for more than what is presented to us by society, family, media, popular culture... There is more, but it's a risky jump away from my clutches. My family and society have never accepted this route/ idea, it's not safe, we don't know where it will lead, it is unconventional. (Just a tiny insight into my inner struggles with identity, family, cultures, life, and self).

Writing, though many a writers do exist, is still an unconventional career. How will I make it work? I am used to a certain lifestyle. Am I willing to give it up and live below my standards to become that independent yet awesome writer I yearn to be. No one believes I can, but I believe in me. Yet I have been seeking support for years now. That is the path I need to take, when no one has faith, I do, and I go with it. I know people who believe in God know God believes in them and it makes it easier. So I will just have to create my own imaginary being, maybe it's gonna be Higgs.

Writers need time, and space, and that's another lifestyle change most families have a hard time accepting. The aloofness, the quiet, ie. why would someone want to go solo, away from family and friends? Especially for a very chatty/clingy/emotionally dependent  family. It is funny cause we start out life as us, and then we mold to our families, and then realize we have to become us again. I always was quiet, shy, introspective, and friendly; somewhere that changed and I became social and chatty, and now I long to revert back to default settings.

I want to write, I can't wait to. My mind is a mess, 29 years of ideas floating around, unharnessed, connecting at points, needs filing and organization so bad. I wish I could hire an assistant to help go into the deep dark cupboards in the back, which has fresh ideas locked away, and bring them to the forefront. I need to grease up my writing hand and pick up a pencil, eraser and sharpener and draw the thought flows down

In the middle of the 29 years of mental story planning and building, a lot happened - personal growth, life, college, education, college English classes, artistic influences, dark times,  travels, meeting people from all walks of life, experiences and relationships. All this influenced me tremendously in my blog writings and non- online writings. Especially the "imagination- killer"; I love fiction, fantasy and everything beyond this world, that keep us locked in a so called reality with rules and such (law's of physics, science, religion, politics, civics etc.). This person was so grounded, that he condoned my imagination, that "pretending" was silly. However all thinking is imagining anyway, (later I realized). For a while though my imagination was killed, and I sought to be grounded in reality (which I might say is boring, and can make you age faster than the higgs boson!).

This is my choice. This is what I will do.
I will write.

Breathe


PS: found this when I was researching short life spans (reference, see last paragraph of blog)
Animals with short life spans - http://akorra.com/2010/03/04/top-10-shortest-living-organisms/

This happens to humans when they tune into "Reality" too much.




So what should I write?

Meditation Goals

How long can you meditate for?
Do you meditate everyday?
Are you aware of the benefits of meditating?
Can you even sit still?
Do you ever just sit still and focus on yourself, intentions, silence your mind, be present and still?

Growing up at school we were required to sit quietly and still for 5 minutes everyday. We got used to it after 12 years. Then puberty and the teenage years hit. Rock music! We blossom into real world, when we can manage our own time, and I forgot all about sitting still and quiet. However I have had time to read further into meditating, its benefits, history, origins, different types, methods, postures, practices... although I have so much information on it, it is still so hard to do. To set aside 5-10 minutes just to sit and do nothing.

One can meditate sitting, standing, lying down (although this often turns to sleep), with music, focusing on clearing the mind, or setting intentions...

Since it is so hard to do this I am setting goals to meditate for 5 minutes everyday. I will be keeping a blog on it. My friend is joining me on this en-devour. We look forward to 365 days of meditating!

Benefits of meditating are numerous: calmness, happier, relaxations, self confidence, increased productivity... etc.

100 benefits

another article I liked.


So stay tuned for this new meditation blog, and maybe set your own goals! I would love to hear feedback!


Breathe!

Health: Making the Change - Diet and Life

I have never followed a diet, but I have stayed conscious of what I put in my body...(maybe it has a name, but it's my own conscious effort based on lots of research). Sometimes I do slip up, and put bad things in to my body (ie. cake, cookies, frappucino, ice cream, chips...) however for the most part, and unless in dire situations require (travel) I have cut out the major evils: Soda, fast food, junk food etc. Because I don't want to do that to me anymore.
Eating healthy doesn't mean having that slammin' "Victoria's secret model body", that takes a combination of eating healthy and exercise. Also remembering we all different, chemically, genetically, physiologically, psychologically - yep, no one is equal or perfect. So some people eat more than others and never put on a pound. Some people may diet and lose weight, on others diets may not work. Some people put on weight faster than others. We need to work with what we have- ourselves. One major thing we need to remember is its the FAT  that is bad (which we think is weight); one maybe thin but have bad fat in the blood, arteries, around the heart. Exercise and Eat healthy, unless you want to sport some nice hospital bills when you are 50. Also remember some mirrors suck, and make us see what isn't there. Then again what our minds think are perfect bodies is different from what doctors will say is healthy. Media has made us believe thin is sexy, and sexy is in... thus being ridiculously skinny is Hot and desirable. So forget trying to have Kate Beckinsale's body, her bone structure is different, or Robert Pattinson's (Twilight) chiseled jaw, or Alessandra Ambrosio's skinny body... sadly most of it is CGI, or photoshop, or just their luck to be born that way! (Thank you Lady GaGa for that song). Most women will have wider hips than guys, and there's nothing wrong with broad shoulders, some men are just built smaller than others... We all have our strengths and we can work with it. Don't give up!

Here are some rules I follow to stay healthy, fit, young and active:

1- Balance: If you tried dieting and it hasn't worked try balancing it with exercise. if you've been exercising but not lost a pound, watch what you are eating. Just because you exercised does not mean you can eat the burger and the Tiramisu, in fact you should have neither  - go for the grilled chicken salad, and water or hot green tea. In fact when trying to lose weight substitute all drinks with hot green tea (Chinese/Japanese variety). Jasmine Tea is also good. Exercise and a balanced meal and you will see the flat fall away (no need for lipo).

2- Teas: As mentioned above Tea's can work miracles especially Chinese/Japanese variety. Jasmine Tea is also good. Do not add sugar or any sweeteners. The hot water and whatever is naturally in those leave does its own work. There are some diet teas out there, they just give you diarrhea  which leads to dehydration.

3- Hydrate: now as you start exercising more, and eating less, remember to drink tonnes of water. Add a slice of lemon to add taste, but def do not drink "energy drinks" and whatnot, they often have sucralose, fructose, sugars which you don't want putting in you body. Sucralose has been linked to some forms of cancer in high concentrations (artificial sweeteners). Water and tea are your best and healthiest bets. Juices - have sugars in them, fruits are best eaten whole, but if you wish to hydrate using juice, then use fresh fruit and squeeze it yourself, you get the natural sugars, plus all the other nutrients which are so great for you!

4- Self Discipline: For some this method is like turning your life around. It's a major adjustment, but basically this way you are not only trying to lose fat/weight but get healthy (so you boost your immune system, get fit, live longer, battle any genetic diseases, etc). It's not easy and takes immense self discipline and being mindful. Ask people for help, ie. your partner, family, if i want dessert don't let me and to help me out please don't have any either. It's like saying no to drugs - Just Say NO! ask for support from friends and family. If they don't get it, they really don't care about you inwardly and outwardly, and most likely don't care about their own bodies either.

5- Love yourself: We have to want the best for ourselves to have the determination to see this through. We need to learn to love our-self despite everything and work with it. No one else can do these things for you - motivation, health and care. So do yourself this one thing. Do something you love, once a week for an hour or more if you can spare, and do something you for yourself once a day - might be small in example meditate for 3 minutes, buff your nails, spend 5 extra minutes on your hair or yoga for 10 minutes, read a gossip column that makes you giggle, or look up that sports car you want to buy ... one day. Focus on you and breathe. Get some good deep breathing in. I spend 5 minutes everyday making a list of things I am grateful for. See my blog post as an example. This also helps me do the next point:

6- Laugh: make sure you laugh for 5 minutes everyday. Make yourself smile, even if it's a crappy day, and things will look up. I especially focus on the positive things when I have a bad day, (The Secret by Rhonda Byrnes), otherwise it usually spirals downhill. So I make the list, and smile and laugh... this also helps my colleagues smile and laugh too. We have the power to turn crappy days around!

7- Cut it out: Sugars, carbs- breads, rice, pasta, dairy products (except yogurt -helps digestion), oily foods, deep fried, fatty food, alcohol, caffeine, processed food, frozen foods, cigarettes, other drugs... detox your body. If we want to burn fat and lost the flabs... we have to get our innards to work the right way (Liver, kidney, adrenal glands, intenstines etc...). So before getting off any meds ask your doctor what you can do, otherwise recreational drugs, alcohol and ciggies is a no no (also it is so gross what it does to your body... if you want to be that gross inside why not just drink the sewage water?). (Sorry about that I am dead against smoking and drugs, and lately 60 days sober as of today). This leaves you with veggies, meats (cut the fat off), lentils, yogurt, grains (wheat), corn, nuts, fruit and HONEY! Make sure your caloric and carbohydrate intake is a little less than what you burn, so your body will be forced to burn the excess fat you have stored. Your body stores fat for the case you don't have food later. Our bodies still react primitively to our food intake although so much has changed (evolution takes forever).

8- To Eat: veggies, meats (cut the fat off), lentils, spinach, yogurt, beans, grains (wheat), corn, nuts, fruit and HONEY! Eat fruit very separate from all other meals (hour after or before). Never drink water with meals (messes with digestion) but do drink lots of water. Hot water and hot green tea with meals is awesome. Honey is awesome you can substitute it for sugar in most things. Also I have a healthy cake you may eat which is totally vegetarian and maybe vegan, find the recipe here on this blog of mine. Breakfast: make it good - cereal, almond milk. Banana, some nuts (raw walnuts, almonds, and some peanuts). If you can get a hold of some - sunflower seeds, pecans, pistachios and cashews are great too. Lunch: Keep it light, a soup and salad and maybe an apple. Dinner: should be even lighter, salad (seaweed and spinach), yogurt, maybe a lentil soup (Dhaal). Indian cuisine rasaam, sambar, oopma, any beans (kidney, soy, butter, etc.) are great. Roti is also ok, just limit it to 1 or 2. Fish is great! It's the best meat out there... eat it!

9- Exercise: Best time - Early morning; Duration - 1 hour minimum; Type- Cardio for atleast 21 minutes straight (depending on age)
If you work out first thing in the morning it wakes up your body and revs up the metabolism process, this helps burn fat. The more fat you have the longer you need to do cardio to get the fat burning.
If you are new to working out increase the work out everyday by a little, but remember to push yourself the right amount. Running and swimming are preferred forms of cardio. Bicycling is acceptable but then you have to do twice as much as how much you would run- example run 3 miles in 30 minutes, then do 6+ miles in an 30 minutes and 20 minutes extra (same for elliptical).
If you can't do early mornings, then pick evening before dinner. Make sure it is 1-2 hours after any meal you have had (gym buddies help, but make sure you don't pick up their bad eating/exercise habits). If you can commute to work via walking/ bicycle. Get as much walking and stairs in during the day. Skip the elevator/escalator. So right now I'm about 130lbs, as I begin working out, I will burn fat and lose weight, but at some point I will start building muscle (awesome), however I will begin to weigh more (Muscle weighs> fat wights). So I might go down to 120, but I will gain back 3-4 lbs in muscle.
Yoga and Pilates is great for creating muscle, stamina, balance and flexibility. Meditation is great to create a calm after the work out and the stresses of the day. If meditating in the morning, set your goals and intentions and what flavor you want the day to be (strawberry with a twist of comedy and a sprinkle of love). I usually go all out and mediate for the universe to send me tonnes of love :-P Make a routine for yourself.
ie: after 30+ minutes of cardio, (hopefully you would have broken a good sweat), work on abs, glutes (toning) for another 30 minutes. If you can, try 60 minutes of cardio and then 10- 20 minutes of toning. Once a week try going to a dance class, zumba, aerobics, jazzercise, pilates, abs glutes toning class.

10- Posture: Remember to have good posture while doing anything! Pretend you are Princess Kate or Catniss, whatever works for you... 007!? So while running, exercise, and even while working (and especially during down time), make sure your back is straight and you are keeping good posture... to avoid injuries. For some tips on the proper physiological mechanics my blog Running the Right Way and Feeling the World with Our Feet talk about the topic and also give insight into new ways of exercising and enjoying it more.

Lastly: Self Image... you don't have to be skinny like a model, all of us have different bodies. Love yours, no one else in the world has it! You also don't need to look like a sumo wrestler... it's probably not very healthy. So be healthy, mindful and take care of yourself. You have one life, it is yours, what you do with it is up to you. I hope you live it well!

Happiness is what you make of it. Don't settle for less. I think, you can get up and go make a change for yourself and be healthy Inside and Out!


Breathe!

Grilled meats (marinated in a little bit of soy sauce) and Corn on the cob... make sure you clean the grill very well every time. Carbon compounds can form and become dangerous in large concentrations (carcinogenic, but honestly, what isn't these days?).

Salad - Tomatoes, onions, olives, artichoke hearts, bamboo, carrots, cucumbers, and avocado... home made dressing with lemon juice, garlic and other spices.