From Groupie to Climber

Trying to become a better climber... some people are born with it, some people have to train more, not due to physical ability, but due to mental restraints. That's what holds me back a lot.

I have an awesome climbing Guru, who I have learnt to trust, and it has been hard because the line is not tight, and yet he tells me not to worry about falling cause he's got my back. The line is slack!

I'm not scared of falling to the ground, I'm scared of banging into the wall, or a few bumps or that initial fall... even though its just a few inches, or feet.

Motivating myself to climb, I love it once I start doing it and it's going well, but when I am stuck, and it's an indoor rock climbing gym, the humidity between me and the wall builds up, sweaty palms, the stench of my own sweat, and MY OWN inability to get to the top - frustrates me. Next thing I know I am in a grizzly mode. However I'm getting closer to the top, my arms are shaky, adrenalin and other hormones pumping through my blood; How can I give up now?

No way missy, we are going to follow the red route to the top (ok I might rainbow it, since I need to slowly perfect the technique).

My climbing guru told me "climbing is like a road, first few times you might get lost, it will take you longer. but the more you practice the route, the faster and easier it becomes"...

Thus my "projects" are born. From one project to another I climb, till perfection and I blossom as a climber.
The seeds of "being a climber" were planted, now I need to be cultivated and then finally harvested! What helps more with motivation is knowing that I will be learning more, and not just stopping at indoor, top rope climbing.

The next step of my cultivation was -  lead climbing. I have climbed outdoors, and depending on the difficulty level, I can do pretty well, or pretty terribly. I did terribly at Seneca Rocks, WV, mainly because I was NOT mentally prepared for the exposure. Lead climbing is great but remembering the rules of placing the carabiners, is important for safety. Then comes technique, strength and stamina, like any sport, and this takes practice. Down climbing is important for both lead, and training for strength and stamina (although torturous and often feels like a punishment). After down climbing, one realizes what a joy rappelling is. No wonder rappelling is more common than climbing in some places!

I am still learning, and there is no end to learning when climbing, there is a whole world out there to climb!

If you haven't climbed yet try it! If you are afraid of heights, try it! If you can't then hang out with climbing people they are awesome!

Climb on
 and

Breathe!

Climbing the Spantic peak 7027 m - Karakoram Pakistan

Tonsai - thailand

Bouldering in Big Bend

 

My climbing guru also says "Breathe! Breathe like you are having a baby! I can't hear you breathing!"

With their tanks, bombs and guns

But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are crying...

It's been a long time since I heard a good song with powerful lyrics... At first the band The Cranberries' song "Zombie" (1994) seemed redundant, and she had the weird accent; but as a kid it made me realize what they were singing about, and I had not seen half as much as I have seen now: of life, living, the world, people and their inherent nature to violence, destruction and death.

I requested Ryan, that we learn a song that has female vocals so I could sing while we played. We picked "Zombie", it's beautiful, has an easy bass, and I love Dolores' vocals; A childhood favorite song. It was difficult to sing a long and play the bass at the same time. This is one thing I will have to practice.

This morning I re-listened to song, so I could learn the lyrics and sing along better. The song brought me to tears, as I paid attention to every aspect of the song - the bass, guitar, drums, the voice, the lyrics, the memories of the music video. An existential question arose - What are we doing to ourselves as human beings?

I've also been reading the Walking dead series, and I just finished book 5, where Rick and Abraham realize that this Zombie apocalypse has made them men that should not be normally accepted, however this is why they are able to survive. They have carried out atrocities for the sake of survival. However I realize we are not in a Zombie apocalypse yet, but are we truly that far away?

We repeatedly engage in war, for WHAT? It's not me, it's not my family... it's OKAY. They can die - they can fight, they can be killed. In your head, in your head...  you justify killing, war, murder, violence it is in your head. Only in your head, and you are actually a Zombie. Zombies are the only ones that mindlessly kill. In this case, humans too. After all we have been through (WW1, WW2 and everything in between, war is the answer... really?

Who won? Who really won?

The zombies did.

The war is over,
The people are dead,
The world is empty
and so is your head.


Will we as humans ever be able to accept peace? Will we ever give peace a shot? or is it hackneyed, is it too idealistic? is it too hippy for this gun toting money loving world? Should we come up with a more trendy/sexy word for peace?

Zombie - the video

The Cranberries

The one's that survive

Children using guns... it's not unknown to us...

My life and what I have witnessed: 1983 - Present


Israel vs. Palestine
Sri Lanka - Birth of the LTTE
Romania
Rwanda
Gulf war
Conflicts in Africa
Bosnia
Pakistan and India - Kargil

Terrorism in India
A Prime Minister assasinated
The Plague
Children killing children
Rape
Murder
Bombay riots
9/11
Anthrax Attacks
Oklahoma City bombing
Murder of George Tiller
America's war against terror - Iraq and Afghanistan
Tibet
Sudan
Somalian war... and many more


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lists_of_wars

Meditation On My Mind

As well as meditating, I am also giving up alcohol for so many reasons.

I don't consider myself an alcoholic, but I do think I do have a problem - self medicating.

Many of us use alcohol, yes we enjoy it for the first few sips, but then don't know when to stop, right?

Whatever.

I'm almost 90 days sober, my boyfriend has been an awesome help in the process, however lately I've been thirsty. Sometimes I feel the thirst out of the need to relax, calm my nerves, or just because all my friends are doing it. The cool kids are doing it. I'm not a "cool kid" anymore cause being sober is not cool.

It's so difficult to not judge them, or not let me imagining them judging me affect me. It's twisted really. Try being sober for 90 days, and your brain will get clear, and sometimes even over analyze? Or maybe it's because I don't have anything to placate my hormones anymore. There is a definite change in body, mind and soul.

I ask for courage, from the unknown, for it is sometimes so hard to say no. Its just a drink right? Its legal. I don't have a problem...

Hmm so much of life to contemplate with those few sentences, and when I look at why i am changing my self for all the above questions, I begin applying it to others, and I see so many people who have problems! And I feel - If I am fixing myself why shouldn't they?

It's not easy.
The first four lines of the serenity prayer have been so helpful to meditate on.

"____, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference."

Meditation, and the prayer, help me remove the negative feelings which arise sometimes out of being sober, or observing other people drinking. I see myself counting drinks others have, but then I breathe, close my eyes, or just smile, and think to myself. I am good with the way I am. I am strong. I am a loving caring person. Reach out and make sure everyone gets home safe.

Just like in climbing, we get rid of the fears, panic. I try to condition myself mentally, to love, accept, and even though I see clearly now, understand and accept myself, before judging others.

Best Bassists

1 - John Myung - Dream Theater
2 - Geddy Lee - Rush
3 - Paul Gray - Slipknot
4 - Steve Harris - Iron Maiden
5 - Cliff Burton - Metallica
6 - Jaco Pastorius - The Weather Report
7 - Michael Peter Balzary (Flea) - The Red Hot Chili Peppers
8 - John Entwistle - The Who
9 - Victor Wooten - Béla Fleck and the Flecktones and SMV
10 - Paul McCartney - The Beatles
11 - Billy Sheehan -  Talas, Steve Vai, David Lee Roth, Mr. Big, and Niacin
12 - John Paul Jones - Led Zeppelin
13 - Les Claypool - Primus
14 - Chris Squire - The Yes
15 - James Jamerson - The Funk Machine
16 - Jack Bruce - Cream
17 - Bootsy Collins - James Brown and Parliament-Funkadelic
18 - Phil Lynott - Think Lizzy
19 - Mark King - Level 42
20 - Nathan East - Fourplay, Eric Clapton, Joe Satriani, Phil Collins, Stevie Wonder, Toto and Herbie Hancock
21 - Aston Family Man Barrett - Bob Marley and the Wailers
22 - Gary Mani Mounfield - The Stone Roses and Primal Scream
23 - Carol Kaye - Ritchie Valens, Simon and Garfunkel, Quincy Jones, and The Beach Boys
24 - Doug Wimbish - Living Color

25 - Joseph Lucky Scott - Curtis Mayfield

(according to musicradar.com)
http://www.musicradar.com/news/guitars/the-25-greatest-bassists-of-all-time-279007/

If The Dam Breaks

The water pressure builds
The rain pours
The reservoir fills and fills
How can it hold back much more?

If the dam breaks
There will be devastation
If the dam breaks
There's no knowing how much damage will be done
If the dam does not hold up
We may not be able to recover what is lost.

First it was a drizzle
There there was rain
The thunder began roaring
The lighting - shooting pain.

There's a leak

There is a creak and crack
It's gonna crash
let the floods begin.

If the dam breaks
There will be devastation
If the dam breaks
There's no knowing how much damage will be done
If the dam does not hold up
We may not be able to recover what is lost.

If the dam breaks
Everything will be washed away
If the dam breaks
Will we survive the wrath?
After the floods
Will we be able to start  anew?

Inhale Nature, Exhale Love

Meditating these past few days have helped me renew my deep love and passion for nature. It starts with listening to my own breath, and feeling my heart beat gently in my chest. My engine that chugs, my fuel is what I give it, my love for me is how I maintain this little machine nature created.

While meditating I focus inwardly, yet vastly. I see myself, my life - remember the childhood and years passed, being in the present and sending intentions for the future; receiving the universe in its infinite-ness, I open my mind and heart to all.

Meditation complete, I open my eyes, and the world seems fresh, as though the monsoons have washed the world clean, and here I am to prance about in its fresh, squeaky clean newness! The leaves, the birds, the children laughing, everything feels good. Even the nuisances sound like a music in a different tone and melody. It hits me, I feel it and I let it go. It is the world, it is all nature.

I see the leaves on the branches of the great oak sway in the breeze. I am mesmerized. I realize how fascinating such a simple thing can be. I feel it.

I run, I run slowly, but mindfully. Running, feeling the wind in my hair, the earth under my feet, and the smells, and noises that fill the world. I feel the people. I feel the sweat roll down my forehead, neck and back. I enjoy the motion, and what it is doing for my health. I am mindful of how my body moves, and my feet fall, the natural biomechanics of it all, relearning the correct movements. I feel love, and smile. I breathe and run. It's a meditation in motion with the world!

This is me. I love me. This is the world, I love. This is life, I love. This is the nature, I love - forever present.

Breathe!

Fittness Journal - Understanding Calories Simplified

So this week I have been pretty healthy and active.
I ate chipoltle twice: (no sour cream), yes on the guacamole, and I picked brown rice, carnitas meat, the corn salsa and mild tomato salsa. Little bit of cheese. All in the bowl.
Then I also ate sandwiches for lunch all week, which was probably bad because of the bread.
One night I had one slice of pizza, and a smoothie (see recipe in my blog piece).
Breakfast consists of hot tea, banana, and trail mix (which i keep at my desk, and make at home).


Sunday - Bicycling 3 miles, painting the deck
Monday - Bicycling 6 miles, Frisbee, painting the deck
Tuesday - Ran 2 miles
Wednesday - Bicycled 5 miles
Thursday - Climbing (approx 150 ft). but it works out my whole body, stamina, strength, muscle memory, and cardio-vascular
Friday - Run or Bicycle or Yoga
Saturday - Run / Bicycle/ Hike

Also: Ran up and down the stairs at work - Tuesday - Friday (at-least 5 times).

For activities like Yoga and Climbing the calories is hard to calculate. However if you are doing it right, and for an hour, with four 3 minute breaks, I think it would burn 300 - 500 calories.

I don't really count calories, but I make sure I am not over eating calories (ice creams, desserts, burgers, fried foods - french fries, pizza and pasta). It's important to understand your daily caloric intake needed for survival and functioning (mentally and physically), this is different from person to person, due to a multitude of factors (genes, metabolism, lifestyle, body type, work, age, weight, height etc.). Also see my blog on eating right.

Calories is the amount of energy you expend, it relates to how much and what you eat, because what we eat becomes energy. Our bodies burn/use up sugar and fat for energy. So we always want to eat as much as we burn, and in case of chubbier people - eat less energy food (calories/ fat) than we burn. This is so that the body starts using the reserves - fat. Fat is lighter than muscle, but it takes up way more space than muscle (unless you want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, in that case it's a whole different story, but we still need to burn off all the fat first, otherwise the muscle gets built under the fat and just looks bulky). Once again we all have different bodies and different body chemistry's, rates of metabolism. So understand you body, but also learn to discipline it and control it ie. cravings, being hungry all the time, etc. These mean you aren't doing something right.

Pine Nuts are awesome cause it helps you get the good fat, and also helps you feel full. Thus making you feel less hungry. A palm full a day, should be good to help you through the day.

Healthy eating!

Active Living!

and


Breathe

Pine Nuts