Worth it?

Is it even worth it?

- to write this blog - does anyone read it?
i write to satisfy myself, but it would be nice for people to read it and get some input.

- to plan trips to places?
and know you could have invested in something you may use over and over again instead.

- to have awesome experiences?
but no one to share it with at that moment.

- to live life in a safe little bubble?
when the whole world just passes you by.

- to love and lose loves many times?
and in the end realize you loved them all and can still find someone else.

- to fall down and get up again?
to know you will fall again probably harder.

- to sleep and dream?
only to wake up in the morning, knowing you'll face the same shit on a different day.

IS IT ALL WORTH IT?

- or is it better to be a monk and realize this is all temporary and we shall all transcend to whatever...



i bet it all boils down to douglas adams' "life, the universe and everything."

by popular demand

So some of you have been reading my blogs regularly, which is surprising and nice!

I was walking through the zoo today and Christina (my co-worker) and I always make it a point to walk past the primate and cat building every afternoon. It's good exercise plus we take advantage of the fact that we work in the zoo. Yes, we see the huge tortoises, the cheetahs, the kangaroos, wallabies, and then walk up a fairly graded hill, which we all call "the hill" up to the primate and cat building. There we pass the snow leopard, the mandabay monkeys, the red panda. Then comes the Gorillas, my favorite!

The tortoises are fairly active, and they actually lift their heavy shelled bodies off the ground and crawl about, curious about the visitors. They have these brown wise eyes, I do not know how old they are, but they look very old in their wrinkly skin. They are quiet and calm!

The cheetahs pace forever, but on very HOT days (very hot is relative in Cleveland), the cheetahs lounge about staring into the distance. Their eyes have a look of longing for open open Savannah which they could run their max speed, stretching their legs one last time.

Down in the valley, after walking down the boardwalk, we come to the zoo's version of the land down under! The Kangaroos are always lounging about, one can imagine them leaping across Australia with all the force of their strong legs, and heavy tail. They are cute, yet powerful in their own way - large bunnies with pouches. I once read in a fact section of the Young World in "The Hindu" newspaper, that when the British made port in Australia, they saw these large animals jumping around. They asked the Aborigines. " what are those?" and the Aborigines not understanding them said "ganga- roo, ganga-roo" which apparently meant "I don't understand you"!!!! Down Under they have a lot of cool terms and phrases much liek slang here in US and other parts of the world. However the Aussie slang is waaay cooler than anything i ever heard (all respects to Steve Irwin, and the term "Crickey Mate"!!!).

Moving on to the snow leopard, he always hides behind a rock, however today he was laying ontop of the rock so we could see him! The monkeys are always active, and there are many more monkeys inside the building, but it is usually crowded and noisey so we stay out of there! Then some the Red-Pandas. They are small and red ofcourse, and UTTERLY adoreable like stuffed animals! THEY LOOK LIKE TOYS!!! Recently they gave birth and the youngen are in a safe place, out of human sight.

Finally are Mokolo and Bebac. The Gorillas. I love these guys, they are huge, stealthy in the jungles of africa, yet powerful and deadly. One swipe of their hand could knock a grown man out cold. Their Palms vs. our measly hands, its amazing! Yet we are a like and eerily so, though their eyes are filled with sorrow, longing and boredom. I feel they need female company, for both are male. I feel for them so much, and I have grown to love these beastly men. The children always go to the cage and make fun of how ugly they are, or yell "hoo-hoo-hoo!" at them while mimicking ape gestures. I feel resentful toward the children - if it were them inside there, it would not be too funny then. I'm sure if Mokolo or Bebac could talk they would say you ugly filthy kids, didn't your w*@#$% mother's teach you any @!#@%$ manners!??! If mankind hadn't sought to take control (and whether it is natural order or not, HUMANS ARE GREEDY B@$%@#!$), the Gorilla's would be happily abound and not in cages, there wouldn't be such severe issues of endangered and extinct species.
Whatever, I never thought I would be a Gorilla Lover (as Polloy put it!) but you can't help but realize how much like us they are, but more emotion, they are just spewing it all over. At least I feel it.

Whether you share the views or not, I just want you to know, Animals are beautiful people too. Look deeper, and you'll see it. They are not different from Human babies, except they do not grow up and speak and work. However their hearts seem to be in the right place, except labradors which suffer from constant gluttony! (just kidding!)

(I think this needs editing, too much raw passion. Seems amateurish. What do you think?)

Image courtesy of National Geographic - Picture of the Day - Michael Nichols

Loves Life Laughs

We live, we love, we laugh... I think these are the most important things we do.

I have lived but 26 years, and so far I loved so many people, animals, places, things... I love so much that sometimes it feels like that my heart may burst. However there are times when I stop out of sheer fatigue and its like the doldrums when there is just me loneliness, and all I feel is "Comfortably Numb". However this short piece is on Loving and that feeling. I love my family. but as Richard Bach said in Illusions- The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof." and "Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends."

I keep that with me in my heart, because "friends are a gift you give yourself", so i love my friends dearly is what I am trying to say. I can only hope they love me as I love them.

I realised I loved him when I met him after years, by then it was too late. I had had my opportunity to do something about it, but nay I had lingered, doubted and let it pass. So now I must wait, for a different lifetime perhaps. Perhaps it was never meant to be? Was it meant to only be a friendship? I guess I will find out in the end, but is there an end at all?

Another One. We loved each other, or so we thought. We were young and said our "I love you"s, all for naught; less than 9 months and he was gone. Gone just as the waves splash upon the beach and leaves it high and dry as it recedes into the low tide. Years later I have a strange "knowing" of him. The familiarity feels good, and there seems to be a connection, but i am not sure what. I did question him regarding this, but I can't figure it out. Thus those memories, those moments, or just him whether he has changed or not... friendship lasts forever, even though time moved on leaving "us" in the dust.

Bonds can be unbreakable; perhaps even so unshakable than "marriage". Thus it goes to show that even man can't make up and "institution" of marriage and MAKE it last forever till death do us part. Real bonds show test of time and change, (did i miss something?). I can vouch for that.

My best get-together was with the boy I loved in high school. I always truly thought I loved him despite all his faults, despite his lack of care towards me, the way he thought I was nothing compared to him. I resented him at times, but then I always knew I cared for him after ALL we had been through. YEARS later we stood on a beach holding each other, and he just said "You are one of the sweetest person I ever met". I think that's when I knew my patience, and care had paid off. I can't even begin to remember the number of times I had told him I loved him no matter what. He would always laugh about it, and say he just didn't feel the same way. I guess I shall always love that fool, through thick and thin. And I'll never regret it. We're friends deep down. Although who knows, he might deny his side of it.

Strangely some of my good friends so far I am yet to meet. I have been there friends through the internet so long, it feels like I know them, but then I think back, and wow I have never met them in person. Lately I met one such person in real life, and we have much more appreciation for each other now! It felt great, and although it was just a few hours, it makes up for ALL that time we missed out on. He was lovely. I plan to meet my other 2-3 friends soon!!!!

Love Love Love ... All you need is LOVE!!!

Image Courtesy National Geographic- Picture of the day. Mick Tsikas. International Photo Contest. 2008.

I'm starting with the person in Mirror

So the world is in shits... but the only way to make it a better place, is just as Michael Jackson sang it in the "man in the mirror". You have to start with yourself.

So my dear friend Chris once told me to watch this movie called "The Secret" this was when it first came out and wasn't too big. Then the book came out and someone told me to read the book. Then many people told me to read the book.

Finally I began reading it this year after I returned from India. I felt very very hopeless, and nothing was looking up, especially with the Economy in the doldrums and all.

I began practising the first part of the book: Ask the Universe. Visualize. Positivity. and have NO DOUBT.

and that's when it began. I realized I had used the secret in the past as well. We have all used the secret and have not realised that we used it.

Read the book. and share your stories. Will add more to this blog in the future.

does time stand still as we go through life?

When I was a child I remember thinking I will never be a grown up, because a whole day took forever to pass. However days would pass on bye, and thus our childhoods seem as a shadow, barely in memory by the time we are 30. I held on to those memories for the sake of contrasting and better understanding of life. As a child I was very aware of my thoughts and feelings. I would question who I was and why I was who I was, and similar profound thoughts.

Now I find myself in my mid 20s and I wish I could go back to those years and wish Time would slow down. Now I find myself looking for time to do things I love doing, spending time with friends, time to travel. I blink my eye and another week flies by without me accomplishing things I wish too.

Is the human body so finite to be able to accomplish as much as we dream too? Or is it energy? How much can we handle? How much can we push ourselves?

I spent my teenage years pretending to be grown up, and now that I am here I wish I had the energy of my youth to spend now!

My earliest memories must be when I was 2. I remember looking at this book, which had pictures of sheep, very nicely drawn. It seems like a dream now, but sheep calm me down a lot.

I remember our backyard and the living room. I remember sleeping with my parents when I was an 2 or 3. I would wake up while they were sleeping and play with imaginary elves, pixies and fairies. Come to think of it, it was so long ago that perhaps they were real. They came out when my parents would be asleep, I would wake up because the pixies and fairies were so noisy.

I remember looking at plants and flowers. There was so much to see. Curiosity for all things. Grown up things were so plane. Children's books were so detailed, or perhaps their minds filled in a lot of things. When children grow up into people they paint details in words and other complications to make up for detail and richness in life.

As carefree as a child. What do we keep ourselves busy with now? Will we ever be carefree again?

Can we find a day where we can squeeze looking at a flower, dancing, running around the house for fun, jumping on the bed, going to the grocery store, the bank, and to playschool, gymnastics, drawing, listening to stories and watching cartoons, smelling the kitchen as mom cooks... and much much more in to ONE DAY? and then sleep as soundly as a baby listening to the fairies at night? WHY MUST WE RUSH THROUGH LIFE?

Images: Courtesy C. Deepti; Rebecca Chakraborty; and Aditya Banerjee

Birding

I must say running in the park has become an awesome way for me to unwind no matter how exhausted i am at the end of the day. There's nothing like rolling hills, wetlands, and open areas where birds flit about. Listening to and watching the birds.

I saw a Indigo Bunting the other day while running with Cricket! It was a fabulous sight. I had seen it in the picture in the book and it was "eh" like not too great. But when one sees these birds in real life in the wild. What a sight! Quoting Birds of Ohio author Stan Tekeila "Actually a black bird, as it doesnt have any blue pigment in its feathers. As with the Blue Jay, sunlight is refracted within the structure of the Bunting's feathers, making them appear blue. Appears iridescent in direct sunlight."

It was in direct sunlight and appeared utterly marvelous. "They are seen on woodland edges, feeding on insects. Males often sing from treetops to attract mates." and this is exactly how i saw it. edge of woods on a large tree by the wetlands, singing at intervals. Beautiful voice.

Birdwatching has so many perks and is such a lovely activity. combined with running, well there we have health, relaxation, enjoyment and excitement all in one!

(Location: Buckeye Woods Park, Medina Park District, Medina, Ohio)

Environmentalism and the economy

The solution for this "economic crisis" is not more oil/drilling in alaska/giving money to auto industry
but we should: give money to education; let people educate themselves.
money for research in HOW TO BE GREEN; green technology; green products; green lifestyles
its the future.
if we destroy the earth now... because we want to live like fat-fast food eating-vehicle driving mushrooms then sure. why not.
but if we want to be healthy-active-and live in a beautiful planet then we have to WORK for it.
Green living will create jobs.
sure most people may argue. but some of you will agree it is the right way to go.

Image: courtesy of National Geographic - Pictures of the day- Boza Ivanovich. International photo contest 2008. Thank You! But now we know what we need to work towards. what we need to save!

Raj Dadu's Life Stories

Raj Dadu and Adarsh Dida are visiting, as well as my grandparents, not to mention the other visitors we have day after day. You may be one of them! glad to have you, but i must tell you, my mind tires after a week of work, driving and other things that are a part of life. Weekends are when i just flop about the house. In other words, my language will be casual here, Im jsut super excited to hear these stories and I WANT to write them down.

So i wake up relaxingly at 12pm this afternoon. Delight to see my sister back from her interview in DC, and Raj dadu already sipping on his beer! Adarsh dida and Maya dida relaxing around the house.

I begin listening to the stories my elders (who have seen much more of life, the world, and time than I have) have to tell. Raj dadu comments on my music, photography, and movie collection. I tell him how much i admire his book collection... somehow the conversation winds its way to the fact that he had Dennison Berwick staying at his house!!! I just got his book "a walk in the clouds" a few months ago, it is out of print and hard to come by. Apparently a few months ago Mr. Berwick had visited Raj Dadu. This man lives in his boat on the oceans, and travels the world. I wish that were a life i could lead. Well About Mr. Berwick, not only did they take him to visit a very crowded Durga Mandir (temple for godess durga), but they went out digging, a amateur archeological venture. What fun!

We all dream. (the secret: beleive in that dream. see it feel it.... and you will have it).

Then he talks about how Hilary stopped by once. So i ask Raj Dadu, "Which Hilary" and he says "edmund ofcourse". Ofcourse I am astounded, I admire and aspire to be like these great travelers and adventurers. There is nothing more I'd love more than to see the world i most love and protect with all my life. So Sir Edmund Hilary hung out at Raj Dadu's dig on the Ganges on a trip up to the himalayas via jet boats!

They had 80+ bottles of beer with them and did not have the privacy to drink it the entire trip, until then. They were just staying for lunch, but lunch lasted till 4, so they shacked up there for the night! AMAZING! Going back to the story of the jet boats, apparently a Yogi came over, and the Hilary crew had a tug of war with them! I need to get the book and read this! For all who are new to these places and people, just know one thing: India is beautiful, India is an Adventure, India grows on your heart, India is where you go when you want to learn more about yourself.

Raj Dadu and Dida are pure vegetarians, no meat whatsoever, maybe egg, but no MEAT! (although dida loves fish).

Here's the story: a long time ago (i think he said in the 60s) they went to Paris, France. There the host was invited to the best and very famous seafood restaurant. Ofcourse there was nothing vegetarian to eat there. The salad had herring in it. Raj Dadu has never tasted meat in his life, however he doesnt not want to eat herring, and it would be distasteful to suggest a different restaurant. So what he does is order a plate of raw oysters. dipps them in lemon and butter and swallows them whole. Thus he says he has NEVER tasted meat in his life. :-)