On Reincarnation

Driving to work after lunch, my dad tired, weary, and in pain from a recent tooth extraction talks to me about life, issues in life, and life after death... (in Bengali):

Dad- I have only one more reincarnation.
Me- Oh really?
Dad- yeah. I have a choice between a cricket or a butterfly.
Me- Go with butterfly.
Dad- I will do that. I just need to check the right box, and send in the form.

Always many laughs with my dad!

Texts From Dad - Game of Thrones in Real Life

Me- Hi
Dad- Where is she? I can't find her
Me- Who?
Dad- Ma
Me- I don't know... where are you? What's going on?
Dad- I found her next to south wall full of snow covered!
Me- What are you talking about?
Me- Game of Thrones?
Dad- Yes. Now we are playing real life GoT.
Me- Where are you and ma playing game of thrones in real life?
Dad- At Wall Mart


Get it "Wall" mart!

They aren't too pleased with season 3... wait till they see the red wedding... :-O

Texts From Dad - Pentathlons

Dad- where r u? What's up? R u coming? What do u say now? Love- Babi
Me- at pentathlon
Dad- What is that- a jungle or a store like pantaloon?
Dad- or like a python or mython like the dam near durgapur?
Me- a competition
Dad- who can compete you in Ummm... Ummmm....

the equestrian event

Alien Ware and Mom

My mom texts me this morning:

Mom- is alien ware a computer? wat is alien ware?
me- alien ware is a type/ brand of computer
mom- why does it look like a briefcase?
me- cause it's a fancy computer!

Then it struck me! A little too late: I should have said "it was a new technology found by the Mars Rover, ancient alien technology. Nasa found it and only the Men in Black carry it and use it to spy on humans and aliens alike!" She would have fallen for it!

 

 

My beautiful mother (and handsome father)... isn't it funny when the time comes where you know more than your parents?

 

Life with Babi

Today on the way home from lunch, my dad and I notice many cops in their cars, waiting for that one speeder. For those late to the blog, I call my dad - Babi - which is my word for father. The actual Bengali word for father is Baba, but for some reason I couldn't say it!

Dad- they're just waitin' and watchin'
Me- Did you just drop the G?
Dad- Yeah I speak American, what do you think?
Me- What?
Dad- Now I say 'come on in'! instead of 'please come in'!
Me- :-O
Dad- What you think that I didn't not know how to talk 'Merican?
Me- You even got the double negatives!? (shocked)
Where have you been learning this atrocity?
Dad- From ma friens!

Breathin'! Keep on breathin'!

Life with Mom

Mom - please pick up a protein drink mix for women, 50yrs +

Me - well I'm sure we can get a one year supply, but ma 50+ yrs? That's more than a truck load!

Mom - I meant for women 50+ yrs of age! duh

 

 In my defense - I do shipping, export and imports as my day job

Life with Dad - Jetlagged and Hyper

Dad - I had to take antibiotics for my cold, the same cold u have now, because I was travelling... right now I feel like sleeping, but I'm drivin'
Me- did you just say drivin' without the 'g'?
Dad- yeah that's American English! Southern english.
Me- When did you learn that?! :-/




Me- So how was your meeting, with the client in China?
Dad- it was very good very good. They made me drink so much.
Me- how much?
Dad- I don't know, it was too fast, tak tak tak - baam! That's how they do cheers... tap the glass three times on the table, and then baam!! you drink all of it.
Me- Wow! How's your liver?
Dad- Fine, it failed once... but much better now. Thank you.

(basically sounds like they made him do shots!)





Me- When did you become so hilarious?
Dad- Always! Don't you see I always make everyone smile, wherever I go?
Me- Where do you get your energy sheesh!?
Dad- In China they call me "Superman" now, because they see how i work so hard, and only sleep on the plane.
Me- wow!

Gyros with Dad... he's my lunch partner!

M for Mommy Madness!

Last night I took my mom out to eat Indian food with all my friends, and it was super fun. However I was almost late, because I left work late, then I got to pick up my mom late, and had to stop and change my clothes too. I rushed my mom, cause when I got there she was still in her scrubs! She hurried and changed into a nice sweater, and pants.

Later that night I noticed a little circular M sticker on the left side of her chest. Yes her sweater was spanking new, and she missed one small sticker. I would have tried to take it off there, but it might have looked like I was doing inappropriate things to my mother's breast!

When we finally got home, I tried to remove it and she was shocked as to why I was trying to molest her! So I said "Ma look at your shirt!" She still didn't get it, because looking down, apparently it looked like a logo. I persisted in trying to remove the sticker and she finally saw it was an M when I took her to the mirror and pointed it out.

She was so embarrassed. "I had an M on me the whole night and you didn't think of telling me?"
Me-"Ma what was I supposed to do? Say 'Ma you have an M on your boob?' And I very well couldn't take it off!"
Mom- "You could have told me in Bengali!"
Me- "I forgot about that trick! At least now everyone knows you're a medium!"


This morning my mom tells me she had nightmares of "M" all night, and it woke her up and she couldn't get back to sleep!

I love my mom!

M for Mom!


Breathe!

Also, this lovely lady, believes she saw a a foofie/ fuffy the other night. She was experiencing insomnia and got out of bed and looked out the window and saw a Foofie cross the road rather slowly. A foofie as she calls it, is a fluffy, furry, cute, gopher like, free, creature that has a long bushy tail... I still think she was hallucinating, that often happens to people who have insomnia. :-P

Life with Dad

1.

Dad and I are driving back to work from lunch break. We are waiting behind a car at the traffic light as the light turns from red to green.

Me: Why isn't that person moving their car yet? (since the car took more than 10 seconds to step on it).

Dad: Firstly it's a lady. Secondly, you have to always respect the ladies when they are at a stop light, because they have to do so many things there. Like brush hair, put on lipstick, put on the make up...

Me: WHAT!

2.

Dad has been having tooth problems and has been going to see the dentist a lot. He and the dental surgeon had a long conversation about the technical and mechanical aspects of the mouth. From one doctor to another type of doctor; they seemed to comprehend each other in the language of science. On the way home my dad comments:

Dad: God has made such a big design error. He needs to rectify this. There should be a recall.

Me: What are you talking about? You are supposed to respect God! No?

Dad: Yes I do, but doesn't mean he did not make a design error! Firstly the way the teeth are place in the bone... to the whole reason teeth don't last a whole life! (He goes into a technical banter about how the human dental design is so flawed).

Me:<confused face>

Dad: I demand a recall. Poor design. (shakes head in disappointment).




Breathe and brush teeth twice a day!

6 O 7

I ask my dad what time his flight is...
Dad: 6 O 7 (I hear it as 6 or 7)
Me: what?
Dad: 6:07
Me: 6:07? What kind of time is that?
Dad: I don't know. It is strange. I guess 7 minutes after 6 am?
Me: uhuh.

Nap time and Flu season

My dad is sick! God forbid, he is not allowed to be sick, his type A personality, and the workaholic in him, will not permit it. It is highly inconvenient for it makes him not think, and makes him want to sleep.

My dad and I went to his house for lunch. It was good, light, healthy lunch of hummus and bread. On the way back to work my dad got a call saying some bankers were there. He really wanted to avoid them especially in his condition. All they do is annoy him, and he was in no mood to entertain or talk. He was burning up with fever, and lost his voice, and requested that we park somewhere and he get a nap! Thus totally forgoing the incident of bumping into these folk, as they left the office.

This nap idea is totally unheard of, however seeing his health, I agreed wholeheartedly that he rest, although that meant me sitting idle in the car with him. He reclined his seat and passed out immediately.

I sit there watching the clock, and the sky. Twiddled my thumbs for a bit, watched cars park and drive away and then watch the clock even more. After exactly ten minutes he jumps up with a start and turns the ignition.

Me- "Are you ok?"
Dad- "was dreaming."
Me- "at least fix your seat before we drive right?"
Dad- "I was dreaming that I was sleeping in the plane with the seat belt on."
Me- " that's good, right? safety first."

Smiles Lift Us Up

My dad is walking with a visitor through the plant, giving them a tour of our manufacturing facilities.

Visitor: Can we see behind those curtains? Do you ever show anyone what's behind the curtains?
Dad: Do you ever ask a woman other than your wife, to remove her bra?
Visitor: No.
Dad: Sorry for using the example, but its the same case here. That is our private parts.

Later on:

Visitor: So I know you are a small company and all, but the plant floor seemed a little messy.
Dad: Good observation. We are usually more organized, but sometimes we get used to the mess. It's like we have not shaved our legs in long time.


:-O


My dad and his analogies are quite amusing at times.
They make me smile, yet reel in embarassment!
I love my dad!


Breathe!

Smile! It warms the heart

My dad got a new Android Motorola Razr Max. This hi-tech machine is still a mystery to him. He texts me and I answer back: :-P
As many of you know the emoticon faces show up as little android faces!

See smile top row second from left.

Me: :-P
Dad: Whats that
Me: it's a face
Dad: Good or bad or Ma Kali
Me: Good like hehehe, right on face
Dad: Ok


I liked his take that the tongue face could be Ma Kali!