I cleaned up my facebook finally!
from a 1000 to 600 something...
Why did I have to "unfriend" so many?
There are people who I always reach out to but never reply, or there are people who are not that close to me, I haven't seen them in years, acquaintances etc. I didn't get rid of them entirely, they are all transferred to a different more professional profile (kinda working on somethings right now, and really need to go into myself, and share less, its a very personal thing). Really just sorting and finding who my true friends are, my friends who hang out with me, who are excited to be with me... There is such a difference, and I am here open to friendship, its all up to the other person.
What makes the other person a good friend?
1- honesty
2- communication
3- nurturing the friendship / making it grow
4- being truthful when feeling flaky about showing up, communication
5- being there when times are bad
6- being there when times are good
7- give and take, take and give
8- being genuine
9- humble
10- loyalty
....
There are so many things that make a good friend, and some people have said I am a difficult to be friends with cause of the high standards. Well I am an extremely empathetic (an empath), I am sensitive, so I need to surround myself with the best. To protect myself, my heart, and its hard to keep giving, I am not martyr.
People move on in life, and grow, make their own friends. It is understandable that some would not be able to or wish to stay in contact. I see no why they should linger on my personal page. I'm not in their lives, they aren't in my life. I think my sis did a sorting of a similar sort recently, and I have friends who have done the same. Although I say this, I often end up in one-way friendships, I let people do that to me, but I can't anymore.
I need to surround myself with people who are excited to be with me! Who want to hang out with me, who aren't using me, or I am just another picture on their facebook wall. I will not be that person anymore... I will not reach out and not get a reply for vast amounts of time...
I will not tolerate arrogance. Why is it that when some of my friends have received PhDs they began acting haughty, or in laymen's terms - they became total jerks. Isn't education supposed to better people? Why am I suddenly lesser, and not deserving of their respect? My father (an Indian man) always told me PhDs are always respected, and most respected. Do they always give respect though? You get respect if you give respect, not if you studied something for longer than another person. So you have some letters in front of your name, so you have another paper, so you spent more money to educate yourself, so you may earn more... so what? In the end "Winter IS Coming". In the end we are all but carbon molecules...
(that sure was a little rant).
I will be mindful to not become a jerk when I get more papers saying that I know "stuff", in the future. It is tough to be mindful, and it is always important to apologize to friends when you realize you have hurt them. I love the healthy communication, respect and love I have with some of my friends. Yes it's almost like an relationship. In fact it is. Maybe that's why people think being my friend is so demanding... what good is a friend who is not there for you when times are down, who won't go to watch movies with you, who lies to your face, who never stays in touch, who doesn't respect you or your feelings?
Yeah... surround yourself with Good people, Good friends... not Cool, but Good, and they will automatically be cool, cause you are cool. When you have a good friend, it won't even seem like so much work, because it will be so natural.
Breathe
from a 1000 to 600 something...
Why did I have to "unfriend" so many?
There are people who I always reach out to but never reply, or there are people who are not that close to me, I haven't seen them in years, acquaintances etc. I didn't get rid of them entirely, they are all transferred to a different more professional profile (kinda working on somethings right now, and really need to go into myself, and share less, its a very personal thing). Really just sorting and finding who my true friends are, my friends who hang out with me, who are excited to be with me... There is such a difference, and I am here open to friendship, its all up to the other person.
What makes the other person a good friend?
1- honesty
2- communication
3- nurturing the friendship / making it grow
4- being truthful when feeling flaky about showing up, communication
5- being there when times are bad
6- being there when times are good
7- give and take, take and give
8- being genuine
9- humble
10- loyalty
....
There are so many things that make a good friend, and some people have said I am a difficult to be friends with cause of the high standards. Well I am an extremely empathetic (an empath), I am sensitive, so I need to surround myself with the best. To protect myself, my heart, and its hard to keep giving, I am not martyr.
People move on in life, and grow, make their own friends. It is understandable that some would not be able to or wish to stay in contact. I see no why they should linger on my personal page. I'm not in their lives, they aren't in my life. I think my sis did a sorting of a similar sort recently, and I have friends who have done the same. Although I say this, I often end up in one-way friendships, I let people do that to me, but I can't anymore.
I need to surround myself with people who are excited to be with me! Who want to hang out with me, who aren't using me, or I am just another picture on their facebook wall. I will not be that person anymore... I will not reach out and not get a reply for vast amounts of time...
I will not tolerate arrogance. Why is it that when some of my friends have received PhDs they began acting haughty, or in laymen's terms - they became total jerks. Isn't education supposed to better people? Why am I suddenly lesser, and not deserving of their respect? My father (an Indian man) always told me PhDs are always respected, and most respected. Do they always give respect though? You get respect if you give respect, not if you studied something for longer than another person. So you have some letters in front of your name, so you have another paper, so you spent more money to educate yourself, so you may earn more... so what? In the end "Winter IS Coming". In the end we are all but carbon molecules...
(that sure was a little rant).
I will be mindful to not become a jerk when I get more papers saying that I know "stuff", in the future. It is tough to be mindful, and it is always important to apologize to friends when you realize you have hurt them. I love the healthy communication, respect and love I have with some of my friends. Yes it's almost like an relationship. In fact it is. Maybe that's why people think being my friend is so demanding... what good is a friend who is not there for you when times are down, who won't go to watch movies with you, who lies to your face, who never stays in touch, who doesn't respect you or your feelings?
Yeah... surround yourself with Good people, Good friends... not Cool, but Good, and they will automatically be cool, cause you are cool. When you have a good friend, it won't even seem like so much work, because it will be so natural.
Breathe
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| biking with climbing friends.. ok climbing family! |
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| fun time with friends!... family... |
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