Brave

Brave is a wonderful animated movie, I would recommend it to everyone to watch. The movie hit a note in my heart: my mother and I. The movie is about Merida and her mother. Merida is a tom-boy, who doesn't want to get married to some guy her parents picked out for her. Another theme I am so familiar with in my own life. This movie resonated with me. As I watched it I shivered, even more, cause apart from the story, there'something about the Gaelic, the Celtic music style, and the Scottish accents, that speaks to my soul. I felt at home, in a different sense. I've always fantasized about the green forests of Ireland, and hills of Scotland, the country side, the dancing, the culture, the people... something about the bagpipes, something about the music, something that sings straight to my heart. What is that something?

(now i'm sitting and listening to as much as Celtic music, or songs sung in Gaelic as possible.)

Thoughts: So often we get so caught up in our identity today, now, me- me - me, I- I- I... ie. I'm a proud Indian, with rich cultural heritage, and I like strawberries, and I like only reading classics, and I like to be well mannered, and I like to wear black boots, etc. etc. Then some one is like, I am American, and USA is a great nation to be from; Or I am Chinese, and Chinese culture and older than India's... and so on and so forth. When I was young I was so enthralled by diversity, culture, languages, religions, practices in the world, that I wanted to be a citizen of the WORLD. As I grew up though I encountered organized religion which told me that one religion was less than another, and that one country was superior to the other. However all these people, and countries had citizens or members who were kind and giving... so confusing! Pride - giving? Ego - kindness? Total opposites? It might be a totally different thought process to meditate upon.

I wondered what if in my last life I was a Scotsman? Or an Irish lass? What if I was once a native american princes? or a Japanese Samurai? What if in another lifetime I was an Mesopotamian trader? DO we lose the big picture when we identify with what we are in this life time? I could have been anyone, thus the saying in Isshinryu Karate - the way of the one heart - We are all one. I could have been you, and you me... 

Then again your religion is better and superior than mine and doesn't believe in reincarnation... so go ahead and be mean to be. But aha all religions preach teach and maybe practice - forgiveness, kindness, giving, and love!

Going back to the big picture... I'm an Indian now and know my culture, but what if I had been an Irishman in my past, and Italian, can I embrace those as ME? or must I be only what my birth certificate says? I know the law is in place to help us, but why not be a global citizen at heart? Why don't we realize that our fates are intertwined with the earth as a whole, with each other, and its not separate? Why do we limit ourselves so? Why aren't we brave enough to embrace all?

Breathe

Any good Gaelic/ Celtic music recommendations? I can't wait to go over there one day!

The Two Towers

Remembering...

As my heart breaks,
I feel the pain of thousands again.
Remembering the fear, the shock, the pain,
The anger, and all the emotion this day takes.

Remembering the lives lost,
The war it cost,
More lives were taken,
The whole world shaken.

Remembering the strenght of the masses,
Even though the two towers lay in ashes,
The city lived, and lives on,
The spirit will shine on forever, on and on.

Can You Take Criticism? Learn How to Handle it Gracefully...

This blog is a repost of an article I read and fell in love with. I just had to share it with my readers!

25 Reasons to Embrace Criticism

--by Lori Deschene


“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle

At the end of the day, when I feel completely exhausted, oftentimes it has nothing to do with all the things I’ve done.

It’s not a consequence of juggling multiple responsibilities and projects. It’s not my body’s way of punishing me for becoming a late-life jogger after a period of cardiovascular laziness. It’s not even about getting too little sleep.

When I’m exhausted, you can be sure I’ve bent over backwards trying to win everyone’s approval. I’ve obsessed over what people think of me, I’ve assigned speculative and usually inaccurate meanings to feedback I’ve received, and I’ve lost myself in negative thoughts about criticism and its merit.

I work at minimizing this type of behavior—and I’ve had success for the most part—but admittedly it’s not easy.

I remember back in college, taking a summer acting class, when I actually made the people around me uncomfortable with my defensiveness. This one time, the teacher was giving me feedback after a scene in front of the whole class. She couldn’t get through a single sentence without me offering some type of argument.

After a couple minutes of verbal sparring, one of my peers actually said, “Stop talking. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

Looking back, I cut myself a little slack. You’re vulnerable in the spotlight and the student’s reaction was kind of harsh. But I know I needed to hear it. Because I was desperately afraid of being judged, I took everything, from everyone as condemnation.

I realize criticism doesn’t always come gently from someone legitimately trying to help. A lot of the feedback we receive is unsolicited and doesn’t come from teachers—or maybe all of it does.

We can’t control what other people will say to us, whether they’ll approve or form opinions and share them. But we can control how we internalize it, respond to it, and learn from it, and when we release it and move on.

If you’ve been having a hard time dealing with criticism lately, it may help to remember the following:

The Benefits of Criticism:

Personal Growth

1. Looking for seeds of truth in criticism encourages humility. It’s not easy to take an honest look at yourself and your weaknesses, but you can only grow if you’re willing to try.

2. Learning from criticism allows you to improve. Almost every critique gives you a tool to more effectively create the tomorrow you visualize.

3. Criticism opens you up to new perspectives and new ideas you may not have considered. Whenever someone challenges you, they help expand your thinking.

4. Your critics give you an opportunity to practice active listening. This means you resist the urge to analyze in your head, planning your rebuttal, and simply consider what the other person is saying.

5. You have the chance to practice forgiveness when you come up against harsh critics. Most of us carry around stress and frustration that we unintentionally misdirect from time to time.

Emotional Benefits

6. It’s helpful to learn how to sit with the discomfort of an initial emotional reaction instead of immediately acting or retaliating. All too often we want to do something with our feelings—generally not a great idea!

7. Criticism gives you the chance to foster problem solving skills, which isn’t always easy when you’re feeling sensitive, self-critical, or annoyed with your critic.

8. Receiving criticism that hits a sensitive spot helps you explore unresolved issues.Maybe you’re sensitive about your intelligence because you’re holding onto something someone said to you years ago—something you need to release.

9. Interpreting someone else’s feedback is an opportunity for rational thinking—sometimes, despite a negative tone, criticism is incredibly useful.

10. Criticism encourages you to question your instinctive associations and feelings; praise is good, criticism is bad. If we recondition ourselves to see things in less black and white terms, there’s no stop to how far we can go!

Improved Relationships

11. Criticism presents an opportunity to choose peace over conflict. Oftentimes, when criticized our instinct is to fight, creating unnecessary drama. The people around us generally want to help us, not judge us.

12. Fielding criticism well helps you mitigate the need to be right. Nothing closes an open mind like ego—bad for your personal growth, and damaging for relationships.

13. Your critics give you an opportunity to challenge any people-pleasing tendencies.Relationships based on a constant need for approval can be draining for everyone involved. It’s liberating to let people think whatever they want—they’re going to do it anyway.

14. Criticism gives you the chance to teach people how to treat you. If someone delivers it poorly, you can take this opportunity to tell them, “I think you make some valid points, but I would receive them better if you didn’t raise your voice.”

15. Certain pieces of criticism teach you not to sweat the small stuff. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter that your boyfriend thinks you load the dishwasher “wrong.”

Time Efficiency

16. The more time you spend dwelling about what someone said, the less time you have to do something with it.

17. If you improve how you operate after receiving criticism, this will save time and energy in the future. When you think about from that perspective—criticism as a time saver—it’s hard not to appreciate it!

18. Fostering the ability to let go of your feelings and thoughts about being critiqued can help you let go in other areas of your life. Letting go of worries, regrets, stresses, fears, and even positive feelings helps you root yourself in the present moment. Mindfulness is always the most efficient use of time.

19. Criticism reinforces the power of personal space. Taking 10 minutes to process your emotions, perhaps by writing in a journal, will ensure you respond well. And responding the well the first time prevents one critical comment from dominating your day.

20. In some cases, criticism teaches you how to interact with a person, if they’re negative or hostile, for example. Knowing this can save you a lot of time and stress in the future.

Self Confidence

21. Learning to receive false criticism—feedback that has no constructive value—without losing your confidence is a must if you want to do big things in life. The more attention your work receives, the more criticism you’ll have to field.

22. When someone criticizes you, it shines a light on your own insecurities. If you secretly agree that you’re lazy, you should get to the root of that. Why do you believe that—and what can you do about it?

23. Learning to move forward after criticism, even if you don’t feel incredibly confident, ensures no isolated comment prevents you from seizing your dreams.Think of it as separating the wheat from the chaff; takes what’s useful, leave the rest, and keep going!

24. When someone else appraises your harshly, you have an opportunity to monitor your internal self-talk. Research indicates up to 80% of our thoughts are negative. Take this opportunity to monitor and change your thought processes so you don’t drain and sabotage yourself!

25. Receiving feedback well reminds you it’s OK to have flaws—imperfection is part of being human. If you can admit weakness and work on them without getting down on yourself, you’ll experience far more happiness, peace, enjoyment, and success.

We are all perfectly imperfect, and other people may notice that from time to time. We may even notice in it each other.

Somehow accepting that is a huge weight off my mind.

Breathe!

and 

Live!

Food Groupies = Foodies

Everyone is now a foodie or not a foodie. Thanks to my boyfriend, I have learned to loathe eating. I eat to survive, I don't live to eat. For some reason we have become a world wide culture that bonds on eating. Nothing wrong with that, food is great, I love all types. I'm also not saying everyone must be a fitness maniac, because there is a fitness wave of fitness crazed people rocking the world, not to mention adrenalin junkies growing, X-treme outdoor sports and of course all these runner running the "warrior dashes", the "spartan races", "tough mudders" etc. You're either in or not. I'm not saying we must all be stick thin like runway models or Kate Moss. I'm calling for an awareness to what we put in out bodies, a growing culture revolving around food, and food activities. I recently read this rather lengthy article about obesity. Obesity, or being heavier has risen not only in the USA but all around the world... EVERYONE is fatter. Genetics? Monsanto? Lifestyle? take your pick. Obesity is as subjective as the psychology of a 16 year old!

Here we are wondering which restaurant to eat at next, what's the must haves at which place. Imagine 1- how many people do not have that luxury 2- do you really need that luxury? Yes, in a way you are helping the economy out, however are you helping your own bank balance? We're all career oriented people, and cooking comes as easy to us as breathing... not really. Cooking is as easy as finishing your summer reading list. With all the distractions, career, family, friends, etc. It's tough to get basic chores done, not use the credit card, not eat out at least 2-3 times a week and not veg out on the couch for an evening. It happens, its the luxury of our busy lifestyles. Watch the show, cause reading the book is so laborious; get take out instead of cooking that elaborate meal for one. How many of us situate ourselves in a major city, because of the diversity... the diversity of food!? Many. I have less options in Suburban/ Rural Ohio, than my counterparts in Cleveland, Chicago or New York. Way less options, but I still have 2 places for sushi, a couple of burger and wings places, an Italian place or three! At least 2-3 breakfast places, 2 cafes, bars galore (warning: they are a bit hillbilly), and I kid you not, but some of the most amazing steak joints are this side of town. Sadly though I do not review these wonderful eateries, but instead I am amazed at my own cooking skills.

I marvel at how I can cook a dinner for 4, for less than the amount I spend when out for a dinner for two. And yes I cook better than most places, also i am more aware and mindful of the ingredients I use, right down to the salt. Do read that article on obesity I posted: The Obesity Era: As the American people got fatter, so did marmosets, vervet monkeys and mice. The problem may be bigger than any of us By David Berreby. It's amazing what not only food, our genetics, environment etc. is doing to our bodies. The most we can do to control it, is control what we put in, how much, and how much output/ energy we burn. Yoga is a great way to keep organs healthy, as healthy you can get them, and eating right! A lot of people can't/won't try or put forth the effort, so at least be aware, and conscious of this.

Suddenly in your 50s you realize you have fat around your organs, fat cells in your liver, (you don't have to be fat outside)... just don't let it get to that! It's almost like being a smoker, or a drinker. You know it's bad for you, but you keep doing it. Obesity, eating, health, is being studied in a major way today, especially since its weighing down on the health care system here and everywhere, pun intended. Is it that hard to be aware, and start doing something about OUR OWN bodies now?

I'm in my early thirties and I realize some damage has definitely been done already, but its not too late for me. I can fix pre-existing conditions, the internet has most of the information I need. I want the bacon, I can eat the bacon, but does my body need it? How will it affect my body? Does it all come down to discipline? Are we the most lax of all generations when it comes to discipline?

Just some things to think about...


Breathe!

Too busy too cook/ read/ work out/ yoga? Meditate = take some time for yourself and do what's good for you, your mind, your all round well-being!

START NOW!

Bits of Wisdom: Accept Yourself

Today my sister sent me a text, and how fitting it was. For the last few days I had been struggling with my self image, body, and needing to love myself... my near and dear ones gave me a few words of comfort, but it did not hit the spot until she sent me this timely text:

"We perceive a very distorted view of ourselves. It's like looking into a cracked glass with many cracked pieces. When we accept that everyone we look up to, envy, love, wish we could be like, etc., are those tiny pieces of cracked mirror reflecting something that exists already in YOU, the Mirror will join the larger whole to uncrack and flatten to show the real you, which is all encompassing, infinite and ultra dynamic" - Piyali Banerjie


I asked her why she texted me this, and this is strangely what I had needed to be reminded of. It's like she read my mind.

She replied:
Hi ded,

I was meditating on the train and suddenly that entire visual and understanding came in…and I found so much peace. and then suddenly I had the urge to text it to you so I did.

love you

 She is wise beyond her years, and our bond runs deep...

Breathe

The Terrifying Birds

If anyone knows me well, they know I love animals and have a special place in my heart for birds. I love birds so much that I even did my thesis on "Population Change of Ground Nesting, Migrating Bird in Northeast Ohio", I was told it was a stupid thesis topic. Bird enthusiasts will disagree, birds are an amazing natural indicator of what is happening in our world.

I have loved birds (and animals) since I was very young. I began bird watching, which i was teased about later in life, when I was in 5 or 6th grade, going out on excursions to very exotic bird sanctuaries in tropical southern India. I was so lucky, all the birds I saw. I am yet to get my hands on really good binoculars though I still bird watch. I hope to get a telephoto lens to capture these loves of mine in flight, nesting, up on their high perches, and gracefully gliding over the lake... *sigh*

Birds are amazing we learned how to fly from them, and have so much more to study and learn. They are a big part of our eco system even though they may migrate, or just eat bugs. Birds rock! Near me we have a regularly nesting pair of Bald Eagles, many a Great Blue Heron rookeries. One bird that has eluded me time and time again is the Cerulean warbler, which is also on the endangered species list. It travels from South American Peruvian Alps, to Ohio every year! What a trooper!

Hard to spot this pretty fella

One bird I am in love with is the Indigo bunting, I saw it first when running, in Florida, the painted bunting is a sight to see. If you go to the Loxahatchee Wildlife Refuge near Boynton Beach, there are apparently tonnes by the visitor center early in the morning.

Everyone thinks birders are weird, but we share a passion for passively observing animals. Yes the movie "A Big Year" is very very accurate in portraying birders, however with added humor and drama. We just love looking for birds, the thrill is in seeing what you have studied about, seeing this creature who sees no countries, but the skies, trees, and two very different places are its home. This creature is a true traveler, traveling light, solo or with family, through many a peril, it gets home to the same branch with no street address or mail box... What a wonder.

Now you know I love birds, however I am sad to say I accidentally killed one, a turkey vulture. I was going 80 mph on the highway through West Virginia, and this bird decided to just land in the middle of my lane, and I could not change lanes because a car was in close proximity in that lane behind me. It got hit.

With a wingspan of 160–183 cm (63–72 in), a length of 62–81 cm (24–32 in), and weight of 0.8 to 2.3 kg (1.8 to 5.1 lb), this is no small bird... but a predatory raptor.

It's not a pretty bird but it didn't deserve to die. I have been reading the Mahabharata and learned that things happen for a reason, maybe it had killed a baby bunny. Who knows. I still mourn this bird. You might think - "Oh silly girl." It was a life, a friend, a creature that I love and now it's mush. The bird did jump in the middle of the road though, and I was as helpless as the bird. There were two other people in the car, so I had to do what was safe for the humans, cause that is what normal people do.

When I drive alone, I do break for birds, squirrels, and other creatures that decided to cross the road. Recently a lot of birds have been "suicide flying" or "suicide landing" ie. landing in the middle of the road, or flyign really low in front of on coming traffic, or walking across the road! Yes birds have been doing this more often, especially its spring now so they are all in heat, so maybe they are a little nuttier than usual. It's made my driving terrifying. I do not wan tto kill another one!

I really appreciate when people break for animals... because it is their world too, we built the roads through their habitats, their homes. So even though it takes maybe 5 minutes or less for the squirrel to cross or the duck and her brood to cross, then its 5 minutes. We live so rushed these days, so wrapped up in our lives, and what we do, we forget there are other people and animals going about their lives as well. Slowing down every now and then, and more often too, does not hurt. Someone once told me, nothing is worth rushing and putting other people's lives at risk due to your rush! Especially your own.

So yes the birds will land in front of me, and wherever they want and I will breathe, break and wait. Patience, ahimsa, and kindness, just small things we need to remember, remember when you are wondering why the car in front of you slowed down or braked.





Breathe!!!!

It's Time to Break the Chain

Have you noticed how this craze of violence, destruction, and terror, in the world,  occurs in waves, but in is also a constant?
What I mean is that although death, violence, destruction and devastation... what we call terror and war, is continuous globally,  there is something major that affects you, your country, something near you every 2-3 months, or makes it big in the news in terms of violence. In Nov, Dec, and Jan we were plagues with the headlines: girl is gang raped in Delhi, Colorado shooting, Connecticut School shooting... Now we have this focus on US drones killing many in Afghanistan and Pakistan; This week: 5 yr old raped in Delhi, Boston marathon bombing.
There is violence, death and destruction, everywhere that always doesn't make it to my attention, or big in the news that is shown in the US, but exists. We must be aware of this fact.
“World peace must develop from inner peace. Peace is not just mere absence of violence. Peace is, I think, the manifestation of human compassion.”
― Dalai Lama

That quote leads me to the next one:
 “There is a saying in Tibetan, 'Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.'
No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that's our real disaster.”
― Dalai Lama XIV

Knowing there is violence, death, destruction and terror in the world, we must not lose hope, love, passion and give into fear or anger. Those two emotions lead to more of the violence, and destruction. Also always keep the ego in check!

So this pattern of violence, that turns good people into scared, and angry people, which thus turns them violent, hateful and destructive (you have been through it, even in a small way), people. We are unable to get over our egos, and calm ourselves down and see the bigger picture (simple psychology, philosophy and Buddhism, please read up on it, and try to keep your heart and mind open). I dunno much, but I do know this guy, the Dalai Lama has some keen insights into life, living, the world and peace, and although so hard to follow at times, the simple messages he communicates speak such truth.

Is it time to break the pattern or what? There is a chain of violence that needs to be broken. It can not be broken by death, war, punishment, revenge, hate, anger, fear, destruction, devastation, or more killing. Although sometimes the ego says "oh yeah you think you can hurt me? I'm gonna stamp you out!" "I will kill you to protect myself my family" Instead of trying to approach a situation of threat in a different way.
I've been using different approaches to situations that hurt me, make me angry, frustrated and scare me.

Sometimes we feel that the world is a huge place and nothing we do can make a difference?
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”
― Dalai Lama
We are all mosquitoes and we CAN make a difference. And the difference we will make is through love, kindness and compassion.
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” ― Dalai Lama, The Art of Happiness

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.” ― Dalai Lama

“The whole purpose of religion is to facilitate love and compassion, patience, tolerance, humility, and forgiveness.” ― Dalai Lama

 “If you can cultivate the right attitude, your enemies are your best spiritual teachers because their presence provides you with the opportunity to enhance and develop tolerance, patience and understanding.” ― Dalai Lama


Instead of wondering how to end it, think of why they are doing this so we can prevent it in the future. Instead of thinking of punishing, or revenge, why not think about forgiveness, and killing them with kindness. When I say kill them with kindness, I don't mean death, but show them so much compassion that it melts away their evilness. I swear it works! It is so hard to do, because we are hurt, in pain, angry, and scared, and it takes so much to become a bigger better person. So much energy, love and mindfulness to forgive, and love in exchange for hate.

I'm not saying wrong doers must not be punished, they should be, but it is time to break the chains, to create real change. And warn evil doers, and help change them before they act. These depend on us though, our behavior, we are mosquitoes, we are the world, the people and we are all connected. As my friend Celeste said today on a facebook status, "Hate begets hate. Anger begets anger. How many horrendous things will have to happen before we choose love and connection? Clearly, hate and separation really isn't working." This is my message and question too!

In the end of your life though you choose what you want to be...

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
― Dalai Lam

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
― Dalai Lama

“Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek.”
― Dalai Lama

“All suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their own happiness or satisfaction”
― Dalai Lama

 Breathe!

Breaking the Chain

This picture was exactly what I was trying to explain to my mother the other day. I was just telling my mom about a website which showed us how USA droned Pakistan from 2004 to now. It showed how drone attacks increased after president Obama came into office (these were the known drone attacks). The target of these drone attacks were always high profile terrorists etc., but the casualties included, children, civilians and "other" (which meant other terrorists I suppose). All in all till date there are over 3000 dead due to the drone attacks.

My mom pointed out, and rightfully so, that the terrorist organizations under attack of the drones, had killed 5000 plus people during 911 attack on the twin towers in 2001. That was a good point. However, I thought deeply about Ahimsa and all the things I have been learning, and I pointed out to her that we can't break the chain like this. Violence begets violence, this perpetuates more killing. The next time they will target 10,000, and we will retaliate and kill another 20,000... and so it will carry on. is that what we really want?

I know this is one of the most difficult things to accept, it is the toughest thing in life to do. Especially if you are the one affected. We hold on to the pain, anger and our hearts are consumed with revenge, hate and vengeance, retribution, justice... in the end though it comes down to what kind of human do you want to be. Retaliation is a good scare tactic, its a good way to get rid of bullies, but what do we want to be - as a person, as a people, as a nation, as a species? In the end it depends on us individuals... Choose wisely.

Breaking the chain can apply to not only violence, but addictions, negative perceptions, being stuck on a  project, friendships, anger, rivalries, egos, and the list could go on. It means taking a different perspective that does not cause another person harm. It means setting the ego aside and filling your heart with positivity instead. Positivity could be love, light, optimism, hope, kindness, caring, sharing... You see those "top 10 things what successful people do" or "top 20 things happy people do different", its this basic attitude that sets them apart. They don't let negativity hold them back, they don't let failure, hurt, anger drag them down. They focus and fill themselves with this positivity. Don't believe me? Try it!

When you focus on getting back at someone, or on sadness, you spiral yourself into that hole of darkness. An amazing example is Japan during the devastating tsunami. They could have been really sad about the tsunami and wallowed in self pity for days, but they mourned yes, they felt sad, but they didn't focus on that. They gathered themselves, and truly kept calm and carried on. ;-) Another example is the Buddhist Lama's they could be so angry, and hurt about China... but no they focus on their practice, their compassion, love and forgiveness and smile and teach others the same. I find this refreshing... don't you?

Forgiveness is not easy, but those who can master this has found some divinity within themselves. I will say forgiveness is higher than any revenge one can muster. I think those wise old guys from the religious and holi texts would agree, they knew what they were talking about.

Matisyahu lyrics

The Call of the East

Firstly back by heightened interest, need and more participants is the 5 minute meditation project blog!

What amazes me, warms me, and makes me bubble up over flowing with love, is how i have come to find a mass of people who enjoy learning, living, loving the philosophies and teachings I grew up with (which I so rebelliously shunned as a teen)! I'm talking about yoga, meditation, chanting slokas, ॐ, Sanskrit (as a kid I thought - what is the use of this!), Bhagavad Gita, Mahabharatha (I watched the entire series in the 90s with my grandmom who fluctuates in and out dementia), etc. Being Indian, and growing up with the whole family, and mom sending me to Bhagavad Gita classes, Bengali classes, singing classes, made no sense then, and was a lot of learning, information (we thought the internet was full of information) overload! My mom always said, "you will thank me one day" with that all-knowing tone. I guess that day is today. I can pass on my knowledge which I acquired begrudgingly, but now cherish and nurture.

So recently I picked up (on kindle) Jaya by Devdutt Pattanaik, which is a version of the Mahabharata, to refresh my memory on the story. I forgot how complex it was, getting lost in the Maya of life; story within story within story, that you forget where the original story began. Perhaps that's how the movie 'Inception' was conceived.... dream within a dream within a dream... basically Maya. Will write more on this as I get lost deeper in the maya of this book.

Then I also found the old Srimad Bhagavad Gita by Swami Tapasyananada (Ramakrishna Mission Publishing) I learned from. I was in 6th or 7th grade when the Bhagavad Gita classes started. Every Sunday afternoon after lunch, when a kid just wants to snooze, heavy mind boggling Gita philosophy and the heavy Sanskrit, deconstruction, and just taking it all in. Our teacher was and is a historian but also a Sanskrit scholar. He is very learned, and I still ask him when I have any doubts, questions, and need help refreshing my memory. After that class, we had chanting class, so more Sanskrit, understanding slokas and deep philosophy (as a teen this wasn't fun, we just wanted to go out and play or take a nap as we were taught as a child). That was the heavy stuff, which helped me stay on track, and also helped me identify the things I needed to rebel against as a teen (because that's what teens do to be cool), but later on in life, helped me stay true to myself, beliefs and remain a good person. Something did manage to sink in despite all the rebelling during teenage years.

I'm so glad that I can read Devnagiri, Bangla, Tamil (this one I am a little slow at), and can understand it because of the combined knowledge of all four. They are so interlinked, so culturally founded, and the fact my family is so bong (slang for Bengali), this knowledge is passed down - Gayatri Mantra, the gotrams, lineage, connection to the whole shenanigans of the Sapta Rishis (yes I said that!), the mantras, the yamas and niyamas, even the eightfold path... I guess it is all taught, when I took Buddhism classes at CSU, I was excited to tell my parents about three jewels in buddhism - Buddha Dharma Sangha, and of course my dad knew all about it and recited it in Sanskrit with his Bengali pronunciation Buddho, Dhormo, Shangho! Maybe he's an exception, because he was lucky to have been sent off to Sri Ramakrishna Mission in Puruliya, and maybe that where all this knowledge was bestowed onto him, but often times parents try to teach their kids, but kids partially take it in?!?!

My point is, there is this growing desire in the west to learn all the above, and I find it amazing, and heart warming. When I came back to the USA in 2001, I was enrolled in a Christian college where I was told my birth religion was wrong, so were all other faiths. I was told that Christ was the only way to heaven. My argument was as long as you are a good human why would you be denied heaven, especially if the religion taught you how to live as a good human? I was told that was just the way, and God wanted us to find him through Christ and Christianity only. My idea of an open, accepting and appreciating America, was shattered. This is why I am happy to learn so many people accepting teachings of Hinduism, Buddhism, the Gita, Patanjali, the Upanishads, the Vedas, into their world. It restores my faith in mankind... To accept something so alien as Sanskrit into your life (it's a different script, and sounds like gibberish, hard to pronounce, thus alien), and recite the words with so much love and joy, its pretty amazing to me! Thank you all for inspiring me to appreciate the culture I come from. I see it with fresh eyes. I wish the rest of India would do the same... the beauty it came from has become twisted and dirty. If this group in Northeast Ohio can do it, everyone and anyone else can too!

Breathe!

Picture courtesy Piyali Banerjie

Picture courtesy Chris Soria

Picture courtesy Piyali Banerjie

Picture courtesy Chris Soria

The Challenges of Aparigraha

Letting Go!

It's something which has been bugging me, forever, it seems.
Being so attached to not just material things, but also ideas (ideologies), opinions, identity, feelings, beliefs... it causes more pain, angst, frustration and suffering than being attached to thing or even to a person.

I am so attached to my opinions, ideas, and things I have to "say" whether it is oral or written because it defines who I am. Defining the "Who I am" is so important to because in a world full of people we realize we are so alike, but then again we are so different, but the fact that we are alike makes us need to define ourselves via our likes, dislikes, hobbies, opinions, ideas. I think these differences help us attract each other. It's funny because there seems to be a phobia, among some, of people/cultures that are different from us- ie. bigorty, homophobia etc. These people are very attached to their ideas and beliefs, so feel threatened by difference. I wonder if these people care to worry about defining themselves from others or prefer conformity.

For the most part there is a growing curiosity among people to explore the "different". This was maybe different 20 years ago, but time changes everything! These people are also willing to explore other ideas, opinions, perspectives, and beliefs. Sometimes being open to ideas/beliefs doesn't mean necessarily accepting them as their own, but accepting them  as a possibility. I try to be open, however sometimes my own ideas are so strong, and perhaps its the ego fending for itself... defending...

Letting all of it go is so difficult... it's strange because I am not indifferent I just wish to be more "Ahimsa" like, if not to avoid hurting another person's feelings with my opinion, to protect myself from their opinion. Also with sharing opinions and ideas, comes judgement, which can also hurt, cause relationships to sour. So what is the best approach? Did yogis, maharishis even think of this stuff back in the day?

I think the only answer is to search more in texts to find the answer. For now I find freedom in letting go of identity, although all that I have accumulated to define me in regards to ideas, hobbies, skills, beliefs, opinions, I have come to love myself that way.  So stripping me of all of that... letting it all go, it just leaves another soul in a human body shell. Can I love that?

This past weekend at yoga class I learnt that suffering is caused through being attached. And all these things - the mind, thoughts, the body, are all external... and external things can not being us happiness. Happiness is inside us all... just like the OM... These are just food for thought... healthy thoughts... enjoy!

Be Present

Breathe!

Kanyakumari, India - Dec 2012 Courtesy Piyali Banerjie and Chris Soria

Reflections on Grudges and Letting Go

Anger, hate, and other negative emotions we experience in life, hold us back from growth: spiritual, mental, emotional and even physical growth or well being. Letting these emotions go, gives us room to breathe and grow! Though hard to do, notice how buoyant, and loving you feel after you let it go. Even the most successful or brilliant person if holding onto these grudges, angers, hates, frustrations, will be stunted in their growth, life's work. Find the serenity in you to let go. Embrace love instead!

Mini Buddha...  By Piyali Banerjie

Maugran Thaulk

Also known as Maugron Thaulk.
Famous for his country-rock music, misanthrope and highly private person, philanthropy, famous accidental obstetrician, lewd nude actor, male sex god, and world traveler, famous for the late night talk show - Talking with the Graun.
Known for his neck that totally looks like Channing Tatum's hunky thick sexy neck, and outmatches him in the brutish goodlooks department. His beach blonde hair and surfer - emo bo - meets hillbilly farmer brought him the title of male sex god. If women's magazines rated men like GQ, Playboy, and Sports Illustrated rank women, He would be number #1 on the list, for 5 years straight.
Margaun Thaulk and his talents was discovered by Wallstreet investment banker Gokul Mohanty who  helped him rise to fame and cashed in on his sudden success. This is the epic true story of a rags to riches, a mans loyalty to to his friend, and the hottest man coming out to the world. In some ways he's the Derek Zoolander of real life...

This is the only picture I could find of him:

Last night he gave an unparalleled critique on comedians today, feminism, homophobia, and the Oscars... all in his down to earth, southern Louisiana accent (that IS where it's at... he should have been Bill in HBO TV show Trueblood).

"Offended by Seth McFarlane hosting the Oscars?
Ever been to a stand-up comedy show?
Watch Comedy Central much?

Ever called your bff a bitch?


Well I'll tell you a story, I was super sensitive about all this stuff being raised catholic and all, and one day I realized that there ain't nothing wrong about being sexy, being gay or being a redneck. Heck, am proud of myself. Anyway my point is I make fun of me all the time, I mean that's what got me famous! Me making fun of all the stereotypes I do encompass, and heck its funny, its sometimes very dysfunctional (I do realize), in the end it's just who I am.

About Seth's boob song, all I gotta say is that women and their insecurities! Heck and they do rub onto us guys too. Here I'm worried about my chest hair color, but really women! First you want us to accept you for your body type so we do, then we point out that hey we saw your boobs they were nice... OSCAR worthy nice, take a prize. And then they get offended? Why did you take it off then? If yer actin' was so darn good, then why did ya have to play the boob card? We guys we don't do that, but I'd sure love to! Honestly in the end we choose to be affected or not affected by others actions... we choose to be sensitive or insensitive ... balanced or imbalanced... we choose to be who we are and how we interact with people and perceive their interactions. Either extreme end of the spectrum of sensitivity is not good!

America is known for its laid back country humor, freedom of speech, right to bare arms... and know ya'all are up in arms about this guy speaking freely! Do we need the third reality check? If ya'll so upset then take it up with the TV people! It's not like he dropped the f!#@% bomb or the C@#$ bomb! He was sayin' it like it is... and as usual we can't handle the truth. We get all upset... both the libs and the conservatives. We forget to laugh cause we got somethin' stuck up our butts. It needs removin' real quick. So why not appreciate a man's work just like we appreciate a nice pair of boobs... or even one boob! Besides I think all them ladies were enjoying it (the scenes of them being embarrassed were prerecorded or somethin'). And if they didn't want them mentioned they shouldn't have done it in the first place.

Now i ain't got no time for this no more!"

The Religion Competition

Awesome news! The Shiva Trilogy final book is being released on Feb 27th!

(Please read this disclaimer, for I found it very similar to what I would disclaim in general regarding my blog. Thanks! And please note this blog is a thought process in dynamic progress, please check back for edits! Once again this is not to dis anyone, any religion, language or culture.This is just my rambling flowing thoughts and NOT a scientific document. I enjoy reading books.)

For those of you who don't know what the Shiva Trilogy is about, here are a few pointers:
1- The Shiva Trilogy consists of three books: The Immortals of Meluha, The Secret of the Nagas, and The Oath of the Vayaputras
2-These books are based on "Hindu Mythology", from the perspective what if it wasn't myth but it all really happened.
3- Hinduism is a religion followed in India. It dates back to circa. 2600 BC! Yeah it's pretty effing old.
4- Shiva, known as the God of destruction is the protagonist of the story, and it follows his life, trials, love, and leadership.

There are a lot of misconceptions regarding Hinduism, especially because it is such an ancient religion. In fact me thinks, most Indians/ Hindus have no true idea about Hinduism. It is honestly a lot of reading since there are so many different ancient texts (kind of like in Judaism). Recently I began studying my heritage, my culture etc. out of curiosity, and found out numerous things which I had no idea of before. It was not even taught in my undergrad Eastern Religions or Hinduism class (I happened to major in both Psych and Religious studies). I keep reading more about the Vedas and the Gita, having studied the Gita unwillingly as a child, it was interesting to reread it as an adult. Not everything I read about Hinduism sat well with me. Some books said that women must be subservient to men... Guess how I feel about that!  I am yet to find a "perfect religion". And you know what this is why there are so many wars, because everyone thinks their religion is perfect because they do feel so truly about "their" God, Gods, etc. The thing is... it is so hard for people in general to believe, maybe all of the religions are perfect, and perfectly flawed, and I will respect them all, but by doing so this does not hurt my faith in my God.

My adventures through religions, my childhood witnessing of too many "killing in the name of" such and such God/ religion/ prophet/ religious leader, and my cognitive dissonance with certain beliefs of certain religions was enough to put me off all religions and distance myself from it. Instead, I found myself in a very spiritual place, call it new age, hippie-ism, atheism, agnosticism, whatever else you may want to call it - I don't care, where I believe in a higher power (no sex is defined, if it has to be She will be like me), I keep my morals and values, I use my brain and heart, I love and forgive, I respect other people's beliefs, I respect all religions, I try to remember the whole meaning of "Namaste". I'm glad that some of the Western world is slowly studying the history behind Hinduism and Eastern religions and finding true value in it. Yet just because they value it or respect it, or practice parts of it, doesn't mean that they are converting, it's life we adopt, we change! The East learns things from the West.

It seems the general attitude toward Eastern Religions especially Hinduism they are often looked down upon, considered less real, or generally inferior to Abrahamic Religions. Hinduism seems to get hit the worst because it is taught to be and thought to be a polytheistic religion when in fact ONE true God (Brahman) is the force behind all the other "Avatars". It's always dismissed as a religion based on myths rather than true events, unlike the Abrahamic religions, which claim to be more truer because they have more proof, their writings are more recent, monotheistic religions are more believable? There are many other reasons, in fact the Bible says so in many different verses etc. etc. etc. They always have MORE proof.  However the Bible which most people read from is but a translation and interpretation of the mystical words of the olden days saints scholars what have you, which is same as in Hinduism, Buddhism etc. Whatever! I find all the religious texts highly unbelievable when it comes to truth factors, however they are all nice stories and good guides for people who seek more meaning in their life or something.

What I like about the Shiva Trilogy is it takes the ancient texts of the Vedas etc., and puts them into what I like to call a "Christian" thought process, of let's not think of it as mythology, let's interpret this as if Shiva was really a man. Come on Moses parted the Red Sea and he's only known as a prophet and not God; Jesus turned water into wine and he's only known as the son of God; Prophet Mohammad heard the voice of God and wrote an amazing book, and he's known as a Prophet, not God. With the same premise, let's say there was a strong, hunky, unbreakable guy named Shiva, and he did some major feats as a leader in his time. People looked up to him so much, they equated him to Mahadev (God of Gods), but he was truly just a king. However history, turned this literal, thus making it seem such a man was impossible to have existed. So many stories were interpreted wrong, quite possible. Ganesh was not possible because which man has a head of an elephant? This man does: The Elephant Man. Deformities were something which at the time inexplicable, had to be understood in some way... Ganesh, a good man, with severe deformities, became an angel sent unto earth: We can learn to love those who do not necessarily look like us! All the different colored dirties - Lakshmi - Yellow - Chinese? Saraswati - White - Russian? Krishna - Blue - African? Etc.

Or How about ALIENS! I like the Ancient Aliens (History Channel), version of who are the Hindu Gods or Gods in general maybe. It is a scientific explanation of some sort. It theorizes that maybe Ganesh was a time traveler from the future who they thought was a God! Or perhaps he is an alien thus the different form. Hehehe! (An article which I found very interesting during my research). The fact remains though that sadly at the end of the day such a weapon such as religion can be used for bad or good, or for controlling people. Please be wary of this. In the end we do live in a world where one can believe in anything in the Universe they wish to, from something as whimsical as Unicorns, to God in whatever religious sense, to even conspiracy theories regarding governments. Some may try to find proof others may follow unquestioningly.

Truly, most humans need someone telling them what to do. Very few can just live as is. At work, school and play. Humans also enjoy control over certain things, and need explanations for things they can not understand. We look for meaning in our lives, meaning which we need someone else, or something else like an ancient text which was written through some acclaimed ancient dude who heard it from God or some dude of God's which makes the meaning of our lives totally legit!

Honestly, I am so open to all thought processes, as long as people keep holding the following attitudes "My God is more true than yours", or "My religion is superior and truer than yours", I will be unable to accept than any of them are true. In fact I cry that all of this leads to war, war and more war... terrorism, fighting for land, politics, and worse dirty politics... all in the name of what. Really what? In the end it is all ego... Get over it! Go do some yoga and live and let live! And Stop fighting - You know who you are... just stop war and fighting! In the name of Jesus, Allah, Shiva, Moses, etc. etc. etc. I know you didn't start the fire, it was always burning since the world's been turning, but YOU can stop it! For the love of the Gods or God!

And definitely read The Shiva Trilogy, if just for entertainment... it is the next Lord of the Rings! <3

Hey, it's that girl Mindy!

I always have a hard time finding role models, or characters I relate to/ identify with in popular culture. I do not really like the Bollywood idea of what Indian girl's are like: either too princessy, arrogant, nakka (Bengali for -  a  person displaying the following behaviors whinny, naive or affected, cute but annoying crankiness/ whine/talk), cutesy,  yet some how all of them are these skinny sexy beasts, who can sing and dance. Yeah, not true! Most of them can dance, but most can't sing. Kinda like Hollywood actresses!

Anyway back to Mindy!
Mindy, she's Indian, half bong (slang term for Bengali, not the marijuana smoking device), the other half being Tamilian, stars in The Mindy Project. She has been a writer, producer, director and creator of The Mindy project, several episodes of The Office, and other works. In grad school someone told me I was like "Mindy", at the time I had only seen her in one episode of the office. I did not want to be like the character she played!

People here usually want to try to relate to immigrants in someway, usually it's "oh you're Indian? I have an Indian doctor!". Sometimes it becomes "oh you are Indian! I just love Slumdog Millionaire!", or "Oh you are Indian? I watch The Office and you look like Mindy Kaling!" It's ok, passive racism, or whatever, they are trying to make some sort of effort. I guess I think all Asians are geeky and goofy like Misuka in Dexter :-P Or all Americans are like Honey boo boo! I'm just trying to relate back at you! Anyway I began watching Mindy because I wanted to support my fellow Indian - American who supposedly resembles me. I fell in love.

In "The Mindy Project" she acts as Dr. Mindy Lahiri an Ob/Gyn, who works at a private practice, which she run's with two male Ob/Gyns. She's got her career in order, but her love life, she being a Indian, slightly chubby single woman in her 30s, is something I relate to entirely. She makes light of the situation, dealing with being Indian in America, Women's health, being Indian and parents, and what's expected etc. In last night's episode  Mindy wants to randomly hook up with a guy, because she has not been successful in securing a healthy relationship with a guy, the last few guys were douche bags. Now casual hook ups, and sex in general is such a taboo subject in the land of India, which spat out the Kamasutra apparently. However casual hook ups are condoned in a city like New York, amongst women my age. She tries, but it ends up turning into a major mess up, and she ends up saying that although nothing happened, it's totally respectable in other parts of the world that nothing happened. Also in the episode she made a comment that she would love to be played by Frieda Pinto if a movie was made of her life, in the case that she was murdered on her "date".

Mindy really paints out the life of a working woman in her 30s, of any ethnicity, has a curvy body, dark skin, (not the usual skinny/ sexy/ hot girls), but is still considered attractive, and the dating, love, life... All your friends are married but you are still figuring it out. The "nice guys" you date turn out to be cheating jerks. Your co-workers are helpful yet crazy in their own ways. The world has changed, women have changed, and the youth is forever changing, and dealing with it all! I'd say this pretty much sums up life today and now!

There are some holistic/midwife practitioners that pose as competition to Mindy and her colleagues' practice. I think some things said on the show regarding these subjects, may have put off some viewers who practice those holistic forms of medicine/ or the midwives. The fact is that just like religion these forms are still yet to be scientifically proven, and though home delivery with midwives has been done throughout the ages, all across the world, there are complications which modern medicine can handle. I've faced this recently when dealing with issues of my uterus. Over the course of 6 months I have now seen 4 Ob/Gyn's and one general physician. It is so hard to find a good Ob/Gyn that listens to you, takes you seriously and understands that your body is unique. Some of the previous Ob/Gyns advised me not to go to my chiropractor for treatment saying it's all a sham. One of the Ob/Gyns told me "don't have unprotected sex with your boyfriend of two years, you can't trust him until you are married." WHAT! So husbands can be trusted, however an adult, healthy, mature relationship is not trust worthy? I've seen married couples who are swingers, who are unfaithful, who are messes! I just thought this doc was nuts to tell me that. Another doc told me after prescribing me on a very heavy dose of estrogen, that that was the only medication for me, and if I thought the side effects were bad, then there was no hope for me, surgery was the next best thing.

After much searching and suffering, pain, meds, life altering decisions I found a good doctor, but I told her I would like to seek out natural options as well. She was open to it, and said she was there for me, and it was my body (only after doing the 5th pelvic exam of the year! Oh my word!). Anyway, my point is that, yes doctors are like football players - overpaid, only know the strategy of their own team, and their only their position - subject/ specialty. So for instance, some of these docs didn't even know the options in their own field. It's not their fault if they do not know the holistic options out there. On the show, they make fun of the Hot Stone therapy, aromatherapy etc. However they show Mindy slowly opening up, trying the Hot Stone Therapy, doing yoga or crunches maybe! I don't even know if women know the different options out there for them, in fact, it is much like how people are ignorant about other religions, cultures, and races. (This rant is due to reading negative reviews regarding how Mindy and her colleagues dissed the male-midwives!). Done with this i promise! Besides it's a comedy!

I am usually very picky about comedy, but Mindy seriously tickles my fancy! She is witty, sharp, and fresh, even my boyfriend enjoys it when he watches it with me. My mom liked it, but could not stand Mindy's voice. I didn't like it either, but she isn't skinny either, and we all like to see skinny, sexy women on television... except now since I gained 40 lbs thanks to the estrogen overload (freaking Ob/Gyns!) I can totally relate to women and our changing bodies!! This comes back to the fact that women judge women harshly... I thought about why this was, and it was because we are so insecure, we feel bringing other women down, lifts us up.So off topic again, but I could be judging Mindy for being an Indian woman in her 30s acting on tv and being so uncouth and chubby, and politically incorrect in whatever way, so liberal! However I find joy that she is like me, representing me somewhat, and I totally support the show! It's like one of the few things Fox has gotten right! I love shows that have women in strong lead roles, and Mindy is definitely a strong, hard working, confident women, who sometimes says or does crazy things!!! (Which woman doesn't or hasn't at least once!).


Breathe

Mindy and her two male Ob/Gyns colleagues... they are cute!

She does quirky things for instance when on call during nights at the hospital, she wears a mask in case a serial killer walks in to kill her... he'll realize she's a killer and walk away! Logic! I would kind of employ this same tactic!

This literally is me when the doctor weighs me!

I'd totally go see her if she was a real Ob/Gyn!

As smart as she is as a Ob/Gyn doc, she is as silly and dreamy when it comes to love, relationships and romance! Happens to the best and smartest of us!

I guess she had a rough night.

Ryan! this might explain why I do the vulture neck while talking/ arguing! She's kinda doing it too! Is it an Indian thing? i dunno! But am so glad I'm not the only one! Ryan said sometimes when I drink, and talk at parties, this is what becomes of my posture. :-P

This was me at some aerobic class, zumba? jazzercise? Whatever I think Mindy's at a Bollywood class, and she's as lost as I was! Really women how do you do it? Even after five classes I'm like WHAT! I can do ballroom dancing (standard and Latin) and belly-dancing fine!

Though, sometimes Mindy might bring out her moves, and some wicked tunes

They are all stunned after hearing some news ... Def watch the show!