A Unique Leadership Workshop for Women

It was a long drive, through the countryside, and then a bit on the highway, back to the country side, to get to this place in the middle of nowhere Ohio for this workshop. It was a workshop for women called - Finding Your Voice; An equestrian assisted learning opportunity. This sounds interesting and unique, especially no previous horse or riding experience is necessary. I was excited about the horses, for I have a deep love for horses, but nervous because I knew no one there. Oh well, I will make new friends, am always good at these social things anyway.

I am the first one there, I left early cause I had no idea how long this would take. I was nervous, but met Carole, an amazingly friendly lady. She talked to me for a bit, until other ladies began showing up. I was so curious to find out more about these women, their energies intrigued me. A few in particular. The horses were gorgeous, 2 large horses, and 3 miniature horses. I was so excited, and had the urge to go get them saddled up to ride.

The program started after everyone got there. We were asked to write down our names, and two things we think we are very good at. I wrote down writing and hugs. After we went around in the circle, Carole, and Ginny (Ginny is the host and the equestrian expert in the program), asked us what we saw common in all of our skills. We pondered, and Carole pointed out that we had all listed soft skills, and men usually list hard skills, technical skills, aggressive skills. Wow! Eye opener 1.

The next exercise was to go meet and greet the horses, after a quick safety drill - horses by the side are safe, in front they can not see, and directly behind is danger zone etc. We split int two groups, and some of us went in to meet the bigger horses. Once in the fenced in field with them, the horses came up to us, curious. They were huge and intimidating. I had not been so close to a horse, since my riding accident in 2007. I had fallen off a Tennessee Walker, after the gelding I was riding got spooked by the Stallion which another rider brought out. Disaster, and dumb on the part of the other rider. Anyway I had to face my newly awakened fear - horses. Horses also my passion. So, I met Wager and Gia, they were lovely and friendly, and they could tell by my energy probably that I was shy.

The miniature horses were amazing, and friendly and much less intimidating, although am sure a kick from their hind legs could send a grown adult flying. The power of horses! We then began the first exercise. The small horses were brought in with us, and the task was we had a minute to discuss a strategy on how to make the 3 little horses Dolly, Caramel, and Cookie, get to the bottom right side of the field, without talking or touching!

The horses had no leads, or bridles on them, everything was meant to be body language, creative problem solving, understanding behavior, energy, and team work. This is more challenging than one can imagine. Until tried, one has no idea how helpless and frustrating it can be, just like your day to day job. Truly a challenging situation.

The group of nine or ten ladies, discussed and plotted, to bring the horses down. We discussed using the balls, however it struck me they are not dogs. Majority won though. I thought we could hold hands and barricade them. This idea was applied later, when they realized balls didn't help. The balls frightened them, and made them run. They were distracted by the grazing opportunity and there was nothing we could do to get their attention. We decided we would use logs to barricade them and drive them down to the corner, after we had negotiated with the teacher to 1- use our voice, and then  2- when that didn't work we used touch, which failed also.

When we were finally successful, we learned that 1- building relationships and trust at the work place is essential 2- speaking up 3- group / team work 4- making a compromise to get the task at hand done especially when impossible. Men usually compromise on tasks and bargain more with their bosses than women do. Men also apparently speak up more often and are heard more than women. Using brute force or fear tactics to move employees/ subordinates often just creates chaos.

The second exercise was to get Wager (the course's namesake) to walk around a circle and stay at each of the 9 cones in the circle for 5 counts/ seconds. This was challenging, and we learnt that 1- giving directions 2- in a clear way and direct way 3- guiding 4- positive reinforcement 5- relationship building are all very important in dealing with clients, coworkers and subordinates. It was truly amazing to see the shift in energy in the group when we realized what we were doing the first time round didn't work. The helplessness, the frustration. Then finally a few of us stepped up to the plate, and made a method work, the others followed suite, an helped as well. It was a very interesting study in management, psychology and sociology!

I would definitely go back, recommend, and incorporate this in future endeavors, businesses, and work. It was so enriching, fulfilling, and confirming in different ways. I have so much growing and learning to complete yet, and I have to really speak up, step up more often. Horses don't lie, and they certainly didn't lie to me.

The instructors, Ginny and Carole, expressed the way people interact with horses can tell so much about them in the first few minutes. As a former psychology student, that was fascinating. The therapeutic use of animals for cerebral palsy, down syndrome, heart disease reduction, stress reduction, etc.  is proven already. However using them to bring out better qualities in us, is something so new, raw, but also age old.

Horses know their riders, and riders need to master their horses. In the old ages, when horses and other animals, were the sole modes of transportation we needed to bring out qualities conducive to mastering animals, lest we be mastered by them. We had more interactions with animals then on a day to day basis, than we do now. So coming back to the earth and animals, we can learn much about ourselves, than getting lost in the clouds... electric or geographic. Clouds blur our visions of ourselves and give us a different version, which might not even be true. Through this small workshop we can see reality in all its glory and dust once again.

Gia, a lovely horse, at Wager's Way

Breathe

Ohio to Delhi and Madras Coffee to Mocha Latte

Recently my father traveled all over (again) for work, luckily I was left out of the hectic schedule. Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta, Thailand, Malaysia, Thailand, China (and various cities within china), back to Thailand... eventually India. I had to be here at the mothership and send shipments out to reach to those destinations which coincided with their trip for various trials. I digress, but the minute he lands, he finds the lounge for frequent travelers, finds his tea, and starts working. Yeah that's his life. HE sends the entire family this email- My grandad (whom he calls Baba- father), my mom, my uncle Danny, my sister, and who knows who else!

This is his little story... its an ungodly hour at Delhi international airport, he is waiting for his connecting flight to Chennai, and ofcourse it's morning here in USA.

Baba: I just called you, but NO ANSWER !! That means you are in Sangeeta’s home or ghure berachhen ! Roddure soreer kharap hobe.  (Means you are in Sangeeta's house or out wandering somewhere! You will get ill wandering around in the hot sun.)

I am in Delhi airport,

         First had a cup of coffee ! There are 4 coffee shops, but none had MADRAS COFFEE. I asked they said even though they are using coffee beans from Madras, but they must use “Foren names” like Latte, capachino and charge high for attracting clients !
       So, I said “Desi khotom, and Foren ka jamana” –  no place for Gandhiji ! (which means the Indian stuff is over/ended/gone, now it's time for foreign culture/"things" to invade and make money.)

This next part is other stories he has to tell about from the flight...

Some stories from the United flight –

     Good news: flight landed at 8 pm. I was out after customs clearance by 8-20 PM. That is 20 minutes from the Flight to out side after Immigration and customs. That is an “WOW” achievement of efficiency, my walking as well as the airport authorities.

      My row companion, kept his Bag under the center seat (that was empty), did not even make attempt to put above in the storage area. Then I saw he has only one arm !! I said “Sorry” to him for not knowing it before. As it was right arm that is lost, and he was sitting to my right.

I learned – he is “IT specialist for auditing Financial irregularities”. An intelligent young man from Simla, but works from Delhi for a large US based IT company with 300 global offices.

     In front  Row, I had 3 elderly ladies – all wheel chaired. One lady had her Row-companion – a High school grad US girl student, quite tall. Going to Mussourie for college study. Getting very popular amongst US people. This girl impressed every one from start. She was (so naturally & spontaneously) helping two elderly ladies seating in her row, even though these ladies had other Indian people seating in same row. The air-hostess called her the “Angel”.

     There was an old Sardarji couple just behind me – Before departure I spoke to Indira and Pillu in Bangla. Suddenly, this sardarji started talking to me in Bangla. He stayed in Kolkata for 30 years. Now he has green card, and stays with his son in Kansas city for about 5 months in a year.

    Now, I finished my second coffee cup along with two Samosa ( elephant size). This is also Madras Beans but with a “Foren” name.

So there is room for you to start “Swadeshi of gandhiji” movement or you can continue easily with your “Bilati culture”.

I will take morning flight to Chennai, then I come to Kolkata in the evening of 26^th.

Pronam to you and ma

Ashish

(note: I did a lot of work, and now trying to kill my time).

Another email regarding the coffee shop:

Babi,

I am still at Delhi airport. It is 1-40 am, I am having fun in killing my time with you in a productive way.

Now, you know – I can do things for you from any where  and at any time !!! Example,  in India from a coffee shop, around at mid night !! Correct ?

It is full of life here , with fresh dosa, rice, chart, Tea, coffee being made and served …

Body is getting tired, as sitting since yesterday.

Well used to it.

Love.. Babi

My sister replies:

Aha! I bet that's the same coffee shop Chris and I ate at in New Delhi when we first arrived!! 



His next email after multiple replies from Danny, my sis and I:

Now comes the foren English I learned in America, my new Home, and I am an Amrican citizen !!

Ø  I see nothin !
Ø  I don’t see “nothin”
Ø  I cannot do “Nothin’!”
Ø  Are you doin somethin ?

The class is closed now for the day. You will learn more from me as we do more classes.

Love  to you all.

Can You Take Criticism? Learn How to Handle it Gracefully...

This blog is a repost of an article I read and fell in love with. I just had to share it with my readers!

25 Reasons to Embrace Criticism

--by Lori Deschene


“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle

At the end of the day, when I feel completely exhausted, oftentimes it has nothing to do with all the things I’ve done.

It’s not a consequence of juggling multiple responsibilities and projects. It’s not my body’s way of punishing me for becoming a late-life jogger after a period of cardiovascular laziness. It’s not even about getting too little sleep.

When I’m exhausted, you can be sure I’ve bent over backwards trying to win everyone’s approval. I’ve obsessed over what people think of me, I’ve assigned speculative and usually inaccurate meanings to feedback I’ve received, and I’ve lost myself in negative thoughts about criticism and its merit.

I work at minimizing this type of behavior—and I’ve had success for the most part—but admittedly it’s not easy.

I remember back in college, taking a summer acting class, when I actually made the people around me uncomfortable with my defensiveness. This one time, the teacher was giving me feedback after a scene in front of the whole class. She couldn’t get through a single sentence without me offering some type of argument.

After a couple minutes of verbal sparring, one of my peers actually said, “Stop talking. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

Looking back, I cut myself a little slack. You’re vulnerable in the spotlight and the student’s reaction was kind of harsh. But I know I needed to hear it. Because I was desperately afraid of being judged, I took everything, from everyone as condemnation.

I realize criticism doesn’t always come gently from someone legitimately trying to help. A lot of the feedback we receive is unsolicited and doesn’t come from teachers—or maybe all of it does.

We can’t control what other people will say to us, whether they’ll approve or form opinions and share them. But we can control how we internalize it, respond to it, and learn from it, and when we release it and move on.

If you’ve been having a hard time dealing with criticism lately, it may help to remember the following:

The Benefits of Criticism:

Personal Growth

1. Looking for seeds of truth in criticism encourages humility. It’s not easy to take an honest look at yourself and your weaknesses, but you can only grow if you’re willing to try.

2. Learning from criticism allows you to improve. Almost every critique gives you a tool to more effectively create the tomorrow you visualize.

3. Criticism opens you up to new perspectives and new ideas you may not have considered. Whenever someone challenges you, they help expand your thinking.

4. Your critics give you an opportunity to practice active listening. This means you resist the urge to analyze in your head, planning your rebuttal, and simply consider what the other person is saying.

5. You have the chance to practice forgiveness when you come up against harsh critics. Most of us carry around stress and frustration that we unintentionally misdirect from time to time.

Emotional Benefits

6. It’s helpful to learn how to sit with the discomfort of an initial emotional reaction instead of immediately acting or retaliating. All too often we want to do something with our feelings—generally not a great idea!

7. Criticism gives you the chance to foster problem solving skills, which isn’t always easy when you’re feeling sensitive, self-critical, or annoyed with your critic.

8. Receiving criticism that hits a sensitive spot helps you explore unresolved issues.Maybe you’re sensitive about your intelligence because you’re holding onto something someone said to you years ago—something you need to release.

9. Interpreting someone else’s feedback is an opportunity for rational thinking—sometimes, despite a negative tone, criticism is incredibly useful.

10. Criticism encourages you to question your instinctive associations and feelings; praise is good, criticism is bad. If we recondition ourselves to see things in less black and white terms, there’s no stop to how far we can go!

Improved Relationships

11. Criticism presents an opportunity to choose peace over conflict. Oftentimes, when criticized our instinct is to fight, creating unnecessary drama. The people around us generally want to help us, not judge us.

12. Fielding criticism well helps you mitigate the need to be right. Nothing closes an open mind like ego—bad for your personal growth, and damaging for relationships.

13. Your critics give you an opportunity to challenge any people-pleasing tendencies.Relationships based on a constant need for approval can be draining for everyone involved. It’s liberating to let people think whatever they want—they’re going to do it anyway.

14. Criticism gives you the chance to teach people how to treat you. If someone delivers it poorly, you can take this opportunity to tell them, “I think you make some valid points, but I would receive them better if you didn’t raise your voice.”

15. Certain pieces of criticism teach you not to sweat the small stuff. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter that your boyfriend thinks you load the dishwasher “wrong.”

Time Efficiency

16. The more time you spend dwelling about what someone said, the less time you have to do something with it.

17. If you improve how you operate after receiving criticism, this will save time and energy in the future. When you think about from that perspective—criticism as a time saver—it’s hard not to appreciate it!

18. Fostering the ability to let go of your feelings and thoughts about being critiqued can help you let go in other areas of your life. Letting go of worries, regrets, stresses, fears, and even positive feelings helps you root yourself in the present moment. Mindfulness is always the most efficient use of time.

19. Criticism reinforces the power of personal space. Taking 10 minutes to process your emotions, perhaps by writing in a journal, will ensure you respond well. And responding the well the first time prevents one critical comment from dominating your day.

20. In some cases, criticism teaches you how to interact with a person, if they’re negative or hostile, for example. Knowing this can save you a lot of time and stress in the future.

Self Confidence

21. Learning to receive false criticism—feedback that has no constructive value—without losing your confidence is a must if you want to do big things in life. The more attention your work receives, the more criticism you’ll have to field.

22. When someone criticizes you, it shines a light on your own insecurities. If you secretly agree that you’re lazy, you should get to the root of that. Why do you believe that—and what can you do about it?

23. Learning to move forward after criticism, even if you don’t feel incredibly confident, ensures no isolated comment prevents you from seizing your dreams.Think of it as separating the wheat from the chaff; takes what’s useful, leave the rest, and keep going!

24. When someone else appraises your harshly, you have an opportunity to monitor your internal self-talk. Research indicates up to 80% of our thoughts are negative. Take this opportunity to monitor and change your thought processes so you don’t drain and sabotage yourself!

25. Receiving feedback well reminds you it’s OK to have flaws—imperfection is part of being human. If you can admit weakness and work on them without getting down on yourself, you’ll experience far more happiness, peace, enjoyment, and success.

We are all perfectly imperfect, and other people may notice that from time to time. We may even notice in it each other.

Somehow accepting that is a huge weight off my mind.

Breathe!

and 

Live!

Manifest Your Dreams

"Dream Big
Start Small
Act Now"

These were the words I heard multiple times by my high school Principal Mr. Hartnett. It was something so inspiring, but I had no idea what it truly meant until recently.Sometimes it takes time to grow into a quote, words of wisdom. The time and circumstances has to be right, otherwise it means nothing.

This is the power of now, being present, and mindful: picture your dream, your goals. What you want to do/be 2 years from now. Imagine it. Let it go.


Start NOW, don't wait till tomorrow! Why would you put off your dreams, or something that leads to your dreams for another day, year? This is why we end up regretting, we live others' dreams, goals, ideas, visions, and advice, and neglect our own. When you believe in your dream it can happen, you just have to act on it, and act right.

The key is starting small. You can't just dream of being a millionaire and expect it to happen, you have to start somewhere. So start small, and in the end as long as you act on it, you will grow closer to your vision.

I tried it and it worked on the small scale, now to manifest it bigger.

Breathe

Ode to My Father

Me on the, ground, and my sister on my dad's shoulders. Circa 1986, Whippany, New Jersey

His smell, is my strongest memory of him from my childhood. It was a distinct smell, which kind of matched my smell... and I couldn't sleep at night without him cuddling me, and I would feel safe, his smell would tell me so. When he would go away I could not sleep, so my mother would put his under-shirt in my bed. I would clutch onto it, and feel safe smell him there.

He traveled alot, to different parts of the world, and I would miss him, but he always brought back presents for my sister and I. He was and is an expert at 6 year old's shaky tooth extraction. He removed many of my sister's teeth. She decided to be his shadow for some reason, and when we went on family vacations she liked being the "model" and would pose for all the pictures he took. I sometimes would get jealous of their bond, especially since she was his "shadow". She followed him around everywhere. She wanted to be just like him, so they would wake up at 5 am and go to the market, go jogging etc. Looking back it was cute that she was his shadow.


He would take us to the sports fields in various universities (Anna University - Madras, IIT-Madras, Elliot's Beach), and we would play basketball, football (soccer), jog, run, play with our Irish Setter dog - Butch, and enjoy every evening like this. Sometimes when we would get back from someone's house, or a dinner out, he would ask us "who wants to go for a drive at the beach?" and we would all say yes! We would just drive from Kotturpuram, down to Besant Nagar, and drive down the short Elliot's Beach drive. It was nice to just feel the cool ocean air. When we later moved to Besant Nagar, he my sister, and the dog, would all wake up to go see the sunrise on a morning walk. I missed out on these morning walks.

Everything I missed out on, I made up for recently. In 2001 my father came and dropped me off at college. That was the first time I saw him cry; he helped settle me down in my dorm and then he had to leave campus and go to Champagne-Urbana, Illinois, the "international-student orientation", which included parents was over. Our journey together from Chennai to New York, to Chicago, to Calvin College, had helped him slowly learn about me, and me about him. We bonded. I taught him how to use a computer, set up his email, and how to send emails, in the small computer lab in campus. This small act would lead him to learn more on his own, and be able to join this new world of entrepreneurs. He just learnt twitter, but he knows facebook is for social stuff, he's on linkedin, and totally dominates in email sending! He types with chopstick fingers (2 fingers on each hand), but oh what mighty speed!

Once, I was diagnosed with ADHD, (second year of college). My father had not heard of such a thing... "ADHD? What?! You will not take any medication for that. We will combat ADHD with natural solutions, meditation, yoga, gingko biloba, etc." So we began curbing the ADHD, and learning not to go on crazy spending sprees. He taught me how to save, just $5 a week, and slowly increasing it to $20 a week, etc. He also taught me how to take care of my car, work ethics, the good habit of waking up early, how to write good emails... Now I get to work with him, and learn so much. I got to travel the world with him and saw how he can communicate with anyone, how he is energetic even in the face of over-traveling, jet-lag, and being utterly over worked, Superman ain't got nothing... My dad is Superman, and my sis and I might be his kryptonite.

Recently, my father and I were listening to Mahabharata on audio book together, we share great time discussing the wisdom, applying it to our daily lives, and learning new things about ourselves from it. We enjoy lunches watching the news, the stock market and what not, discussing politics, economy and world affairs. We work together as a team in making lunch happen. He always surprises me with jokes, sometimes unintentional, sometimes corny, sometimes hilarious! You may have seen some of my blogs that talk about him!

Babi: We call him Babi, because as a child I couldn't say Baba. It just became Babi. My little sister just followed suit when she had to begin calling him by a name.

Other Nicknames:
We were once playing a game, my sister and I, and we were pretending we were camping in a forest far away. We were hiding from the bad guys at this time, and the leader of the bad guys was the "dirty filthy man". So we were imagining and pretending we were hiding behind a bush, however we were ambushed from the other direction. So we stood up and screamed, turning around pointing the other way "The dirty filthy man!!! Run!!!" For some reason my father was standing exactly where we were facing and pointing, in the distance, so he couldn't hear us. However, this changed things in our game, and we realized he was the bad guy and must run away from him all day. He didn't understand what was going on but when we had dinner together that night, we were still playing that game, and we were thought in our minds, 'the dirty filthy man has now captured us, and forcing us to eat radishes.' It was a random memory, but every now and then we remember it.

He is slightly bald, and actually I found out he has emotions about his lack of hair. He always says when we were born, he gave his hair to us. For that we are thankful. However at some point we joked and said his head was like a Tabla. That got shortened to Tabs and Tabby. We called him Tabby for a while, and ofcourse it morphed most unusually to La Tabs!
Once we were in school in Kolkata, and it was parent-teacher meeting day. Our half yearly results would be shared with only parents. So Babi volunteered to come. We were standing and waiting, and this was the teenage phase when we were both embarrassed by our parents. So we hung back although we saw our dad approaching. There were other random kids waiting for their ride home, or their parents. Some kid behind us commented "hey look at that guy he has a bald head. It's so round!" The two boys chuckled, and the other one commented "Yeah it's so flat and round, we can crack and fry an egg on his head!" They laughed at their joke, and my sis turned around and said "Areeeaaayyeee That's my father! How dare you!" They stopped laughing immediately.

My dad might be bald,
He might be pudgy,
He might have scolded me, lectured me, embarrassed me, annoyed me, frustrated me, angered me...
But in the end, he's my father.
And as much as I have been a delightful daughter, am sure,
I've also been quite the pain in the @$$,
I know he loves me so much.
He loves me so much,
He would move the continents of the earth for me (if he could, and knowing him, he would make it happen).
He's always been on my team,
Bailed me out of the worst situations,
Lifted us up when we were down,
Toughened us up when we were too soft,
Asked us to communicated when he couldn't understand us (women are different than boys).
He is an amazing man, he is my hero,
He is my superstar dad, and am so grateful that HE is my father, (but not limited to).
He is also my teacher, 
My boss, my friend, my supporter, 
My inspiration, my motivator.
He is superman, 
My lunch buddy, my yoga student, 
A colleague, partner in ideas, 
My educator, my benefactor, 
A lecturer.
He is my guru, and my sishya, 
He is also a contributor to many of my genes, 
He is an encourager of me following my dreams,
A simple guy from a village, and a world traveling entrepreneur, 
He is a leader, a soccer coach, 
My business school professor,  and the best every dirty filthy man ever!

 ... So grateful for my father. in my life.




Breathe

Imagining an Immigrant

I'm a third generation American, of Indian origin.
My maternal grandparents came here years ago. My grandfather began the immigration process... he was rather like the "Bilbo" of the family. Actually, very much like Bilbo indeed.
My father came here to pursue his PhD at Case Western Reserve University, and he was super successful, married my mom, and they consequently had me and my sister... (for more of my family's story please go HERE).

I didn't really know what it was like to immigrate to America, although we did immigrate to India. So we sort of "went back to where we belong", and it was nice, but we did not belong because our passports said "Born in USA", we had different accents, and we were just "different". I always wonder though what it would be like to go to the USA for the first time as an adult. I wonder what it was like for my grandfather, my father, other friends of mine who have immigrated from India and other countries... what was it like for them? Here's what I think it was like for a couple from rural India, who got a job in USA, and have to move there.





"This is a life changing opportunity", he thought to himself. "I'm so nervous and excited! Anxious and thrilled! is it possible to feel this all at the same time?" Hareesh thought this as he stared at the computer screen in the cyber cafe. He had just received an email from his new employer that they had secured an apartment for him, and his tickets would be booked from the closest international airport. He would have to book his and his wife's train tickets from Erode, Tamil Nadu to Chennai, then a plane to Mumbai. This would be his first time traveling to a different country. A whole new world. A whole new life. What would it be like? The only things he knew was from the media - books, television, news, and some words from friends who had moved there. Hareesh set off to tell his wife that the date of the move had been settled.

He got on his mo-ped (scooter) and drove the dusty road about a kilometer to his home. He excitedly told his wife the good news, his parents were there too. They were happy but they cried, tears of joy, and tears of nervousness of the future. His parents would be left alone, with his sister living nearby with her in-laws, he would be earning less than he was earning now in Rupees. Why? Why risk lower pay and travel far away? This was a dream come true though. A step up - the land of opportunity. They all took a second to go pray to the lord Ganesha.
"It's only two and a half weekends away! We have to pack and be ready!" Hareesh told his wife and family. "I will go immediately and book the train tickets now, the office will just be opening. Will you come with me too, Rohini?" She agreed, and they both set out.

Once they had the tickets, they decided to go shopping for some new clothes, maybe even western wear. It would be cold there, as the president of the company had told them. So they set out to find a place to buy sweaters in this tropical climate city. They each bought 2 sweaters and a jacket. They would be traveling to Cleveland, Ohio. They had no idea what was in store for them.

They were packed and read a week before the trip, just adding small things to the suitcase. They had two check in suitcases, two hand small hand luggage each. The took clothes, books, hair oils, etc. Apparently everything could be bought in USA, but what about medications etc. So all of the essentials were packed. They waited eagerly for the day of the trip. They stayed at home and spent time with the family as they would be missed most. Plus no knowing when they would return to visit. The future was full of unknowns... exciting but scary. Great opportunities lay ahead, however of course the great disasters also came to mind, but no one spoke of it. They prayed and talked about the best, focused on the positive side of such an experience.

The day came, and they said their goodbyes, tearful for Rohini, but Hareesh maintained a strong frame, though his heart quivered in sadness of leaving his parents and excitement of this new adventure. Going to Chennai was not such a big deal, for he had been to Bangalore, and passed through Delhi previously, but going to USA, was the true adventure. A tear escaped his eye, he wiped it away quickly before anyone could see. This was his dream come true, everything he worked so hard for: it was finally happening.

He took his parents blessings and got into the rental ambassador car to the train station. There they found their coach, and put their suitcases in with the hired help of a Coolie. They settled into their seats. Their journey to the "new world" had begun.

In Chennai they took a taxi-cab to the airport. They had to wait 6 hours before their flight to Mumbai. The company had booked the flight with an airline company that flew only out of Mumbai. This was his wife's first time flying and she was not so keen on it. Hareesh told her she had the 2 hour flight to Mumbai to get used to it, because after that it would be a 14 hour flight to Newark Airport, and then another hour long flight to Ohio. This was a tedious long and tiring, but the only way to get to their dreams, a better life, success!

Hareesh and Rohini went through the check-in process, security check etc. and found themselves on the plane learning how to fasten their seat-belts. Hareesh turned of his Nokia phone of 8 years. He would use it one more time in Mumbai to call his parents. Rohini began crying as the plane lifted off, and Hareesh consoled her saying "Silly girl, we are still in India. You should cry when we leave Mumbai!" Some food was served and they soon reached Mumbai. They stayed in a hotel near the airport until their flight the next evening. They dared not go far for they didn't want to miss the flight. They kept all their tickets, passports, and other papers ready for the trip as it grew towards evening the next day. They both had a little tummy problems due to the nerves as the time grew nearer, but dared not admit it.

They checked-in again, the line was very long, and many foreigners were there too. Rohini stared. She asked Hareesh "Which one of them is a movie star? I always hear that people see movie stars in the airport." Hareesh laughed and said, "These are all common people like you and I. Just because they are flyign doesn't mean they are movie stars." He realized his wife was so simple, and cute. He hugged her with his free arm. When they were finally on their seats in the plane, an Indian stewardess came and gave them blankets and asked them if they would have vegetarian or non-vegetarian food for their dinner. They were vegetarians. After the flight took off, Rohini cried looking out the window and the lights of Mumbai, and India vanish into the darkness. Dinner was soon served, and the inflight programs began. They watched a few Hindi movies, and slept.

The flight was long, and soon they were awoken with bright lights. There was an hour to landing, and they had to fill out some forms. Hareesh began filling the forms. They were customs and immigration forms. A stewardess who was American - Caucasian, asked them if they would like breakfast. She offered them Sausages or Bacon. Hareesh looked at Rohini, and he said "We are vegetarian. Is Bacon vegetarian?" The stewardess beckoned for the Indian stewardess, after trying to explain that bacon and sausage were the only options, and both were made of pork, but failed at being clear. The Indian stewardess explained this to them and said they should not eat the meat, but eat the bread, and yogurt instead.

They soon saw the city of New York below them. It looked different from most of the movies, since the twin towers were there no more, however seeing Statue of Liberty and the Empire state building was just as exciting to them. This was the first sight of USA! They soon landed in Newark airport. Their flight to Cleveland, was in an hour and a half. They rushed through customs and immigrations, and looked for their next departure gate in this huge airport, filled with so many people, rushing past them. Everyone seemed so tall. All dressed in long warm woolen coats, as this was January and cold.

The couple happened upon a window, and looked out, it was WHITE! This was their first time seeing snow in real life. They were exhausted but looked at the snow in wonder for a few minutes, then had to go to find their gate. It was at the end of Terminal A, which was a long walk from Terminal C, where they had landed. By this time they were about ready to crash, they didn't have any dollars on him, because the company said they would pick him up from the airport in Cleveland. They couldn't or wouldn't dare to even buy a coffee, or some food. They waited, boarded, and flew up. This plane offered them juice and some crackers, which they ate up quickly.

They landed in Cleveland, and an employee from the company who was also visually Indian, picked them up and drove them to their apartment. The person was named Shawn, he had a strong American accent. He explained to them, he would let them drop of their luggage, and they would go with him to buy furniture and such for their apartment. The apartment had nothing in it. Rohini fell asleep in the back seat, Hareesh talked with Shawn. "What kind of name is Shawn for an Indian guy?" He thought, but he realized there was a lot to be done rather than think about such silly things. As Shawn explained to him, he needed to get furniture, and he would have to slowly pay the company back. They would have to open a bank account for him, driver's license, social security number, lots of paper work, and then eventually put the apartment lease into his name. Hareesh was exhausted by just the thought, plus the travel, jet-lag, and all this overwhelmed him. But this is what he had wanted! "One day at a time", he told himself. "Slow but steady, wins the race. And this is not even a race!"

"You're lucky this is Friday, and you have the whole weekend to work through this. After the furniture store, we will stop by at the office, and you can meet the president. He wants to talk to you and see that you are settled in. A few of us will help you through the weekend. Someone will carpool with you to work till you get your car. Bad news is you have to be at work on Monday at 8am!" Said Shawn in his American accent. Hareesh just thought it was weird that an Indian man spoke like this, but he got used to it.

"I will work, this is what I came here for!" Said Hareesh. Then he thought to himself, "actually maybe work will be the only familiar thing in this unfamiliar land. Chemistry is the same everywhere in the world!"

How far we all have come...

Breathe!

Scarf or Towel

I love fall and cold seasons because we get to bundle up and some of my favorite clothes can be worn only in winter, such as my favorite scarf!

I have a beloved blue and grey striped, wool scarf. I wear it from Fall to the end of Winter. It gets me in the spirit of the Halloween, Christmas and the magic of it all... all in the light of the wonderful world of Harry Potter. I say this because on one end it has the Ravenclaw house sign on it. I am a mega geek, however the scarf is functional, it keeps me warm, and has traveled with me everywhere. I bond with many a Harry Potter fan thanks to this scarf! Yes there are many Harry Potter fans, even though the the rage around it has sort of died down. I have lost this scarf many times, but it comes back to me through many miracles. I think it lost some length because of washing, it still has its utter softness though! Yes I picked Ravenclaw because I was in the blue house in school (Hogan House in AGCS Kolkata), also because I do find myself more intellectual and goofy geeky like Luna Lovegood! Pottermore's sorting hat put me in Griffindor, go figure! At least, I'm not a muggle! Anyway, I wear this scarf everywhere in the cold times, so I even wear it to work. Here's what happened.

My dad got back from India, and we were on our way to work together. On our way into the office, he asks me: "Do people see how you come dressed to work?"
Me "Yes!"
Dad "Don't they say anything?"
Me "Why would they? Is there something wrong?"
Dad 'The thing is, you are wearing a 'Gamcha' (a simple cloth towel in Bengali)!"
Me "It is not a towel!"
Dad "It is a towel. In India they would say it is a towel."
Me "People in India wear scarves, do they call it a towel?"
Dad "yes! and you are wearing a towel to work!"

:-O

Perspectives!!!


Breathe!

 For the scarf search ebay or Scarves from Harry Potter

How does this look like a towel!?

I never liked Cho Chang, but she was Ravenclaw too!!!

Life with a Polymer Scientist

dad - start the dishwasher

me - you start it

dad - i dont know how to

me - its a machine!

dad - there's too much ... going on the soap etc!

me - seriously? you cna make really complicated materials using a hi - tech  twin screw extruder but NOT run a dishwasher?

dad - well i don't know, there's so many soaps!! and it's so complicated.

:-O

Breathe!

Nap time and Flu season

My dad is sick! God forbid, he is not allowed to be sick, his type A personality, and the workaholic in him, will not permit it. It is highly inconvenient for it makes him not think, and makes him want to sleep.

My dad and I went to his house for lunch. It was good, light, healthy lunch of hummus and bread. On the way back to work my dad got a call saying some bankers were there. He really wanted to avoid them especially in his condition. All they do is annoy him, and he was in no mood to entertain or talk. He was burning up with fever, and lost his voice, and requested that we park somewhere and he get a nap! Thus totally forgoing the incident of bumping into these folk, as they left the office.

This nap idea is totally unheard of, however seeing his health, I agreed wholeheartedly that he rest, although that meant me sitting idle in the car with him. He reclined his seat and passed out immediately.

I sit there watching the clock, and the sky. Twiddled my thumbs for a bit, watched cars park and drive away and then watch the clock even more. After exactly ten minutes he jumps up with a start and turns the ignition.

Me- "Are you ok?"
Dad- "was dreaming."
Me- "at least fix your seat before we drive right?"
Dad- "I was dreaming that I was sleeping in the plane with the seat belt on."
Me- " that's good, right? safety first."

Smiles Lift Us Up

My dad is walking with a visitor through the plant, giving them a tour of our manufacturing facilities.

Visitor: Can we see behind those curtains? Do you ever show anyone what's behind the curtains?
Dad: Do you ever ask a woman other than your wife, to remove her bra?
Visitor: No.
Dad: Sorry for using the example, but its the same case here. That is our private parts.

Later on:

Visitor: So I know you are a small company and all, but the plant floor seemed a little messy.
Dad: Good observation. We are usually more organized, but sometimes we get used to the mess. It's like we have not shaved our legs in long time.


:-O


My dad and his analogies are quite amusing at times.
They make me smile, yet reel in embarassment!
I love my dad!


Breathe!

Utterly Grateful

I had a breakdown recently, while talking to my sister on the phone. We live, make mistakes, worry and learn. This time I lost my handle on my stress management. My sister has been helping me, although younger, she does have some sweet sort of wisdom and understanding in her, a simplistic approach to solving problems and dealing with people, attitudes and relationships. With her help and the support of my loved ones i am able to cope, and get back on track.

In the process my sister got me to join her "gratitude list" where we all list what we are grateful for each day. This is just my list from today:

Today I am Grateful for:

My Life
The ability to analyze
Ability to prioritize
Ability to bare great responsibility for so many, yet so few...
Stress for it keeps me on my toes and reminds me to want to eventually achieve homeostasis
The actions of others that lead me to be wiser yet guarded

My sister for letting me share my joys and sorrows ... for being my light in the night, yet shinning just right!

Health and my ability to take control and make myself well

My friends that support me and are reliable (Shelby, Anna, Ryan, Rohitesh, Deana, Keith, Mun, Becks, Mandy...)

My humble abode that truly serves as my melting ground

The extensive support and encouragement I get from my parents, uncle, sister

My wonderful boyfriend for being loving, understanding, helpful but most of all being such a solace and supportive

Alice for sending me sweet emails
Lingling for the Chinese green tea
Abby for protecting me from the big bad wolves, and teaching me
Delbert for being such an awesome plant manager and working with me
Team Work
Cooperation
Motivated attitudes from fellow employees
Singing to people on their voice-mails
Letting go!

This gratitude list for helping me count my blessings even though it seems so dark for so long. I see the light in my life, and nurture the tiny flame!

Climb to Brighter Heights

Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, things will start looking up (look up to the light); and when things start looking up, it gets your spirits high; when your spirits get high and with a little bit of effort and that renewed positive attitude - more good things will start happening to you. And then just like the saying goes - when it rains, it pours!!
Climb to positivity - it isn't always easy but so worth the honest effort! Try it today!
(I really tried making this with all the right "sayings")

 

 

Shakespeare and His Literature and its Relevance in Today's World

NPR, BBC and PRI, been listening to it a lot lately, and honestly, its nice to stay informed about the world, universe etc. I dislike wasting time on this topic, but Rupert Murdoch, his crew and the whole cell phone hacking scandal have been dominating the news stories lately; even though there are pressing matters such as the economies suffering all over the world, famine in Somalia, War in Libya, etc etc etc. No Murdoch and his new empire which was thriving on way to much power, was proven to be corrupt in the end, will make front page news everyday. When we give so much focus, energy and attention to such a "not good" thing, we are in fact giving it more power. We need to stop.
So this whole Murdoch deal, like all other things which are given so much power, is a classic example of Juvenal's quote (Circa 2nd Century AD) "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?". Who Watches the Watchmen? So who keeps and eye on the police? Who keeps the people who keep justice in check, in check?

So there's this crazy balance/imbalance in our lives... (which I can later go on to prove that everything is relative and there is no perfectness in a universe so full of chaos, because it is in the end a perfect chaos! {maybe Einstein would appreciate that observation, it might be that profound}), which is that the one's who would once give us the news, and expose the truth, became the one's forfeiting that "trust". That trust has long been owned by who knows... people like Murdoch? Politicians? People in power (power = money)? Trust being the newspaper, which is now generalized as "media".

I just happened upon this quote from the German punk rock scene -
"When justice becomes injustice, resistance becomes duty"

(I shall tie that in to all the above now... and to the title... I tend to ramble, but thank god, no one is grading me on it! That is why it is a blog)

On a program on KCRW (NPR, BBC, PRI) they brought on a Shakespeare expert to analyze what was being said about Murdoch case becoming a tragic Shakespearean drama, example King Lear. however in King Lear, we feel sorry for the great who has led himself to trip over his own doings. The speaker goes on to say a more proper comparison would be Claudius from Hamlet. Claudius is the manipulator from the beginning, we dont feel sorry for him, as he makes calculated plots, and then loses everything in the end. Things got out of control there, and with Murdoch's company. They didn't care about the means, because they had the power, but they got the job done. So ethically its not right, morally its not right, and no person who wants a clean conscience would do that. However sometimes we get hungry and greedy for success, power and wealth. We have to check ourselves, because sometimes there is no one checking us.

A different point of view, sure there will sympathizers of Murdoch, example his peers and friends; they would want to see him have justice, but then what kind of justice? "With great power comes great responsibility" and with that there also comes great penalty (Spiderman is fiction).
So the victims of the injustice they should get their justice. It's easy for him to dump the blame on his employees, but in the end he is the owner. With any success it is always shared success, but when there is a failure, a true leader will come forward to take full responsibility of that failure, without pointing fingers.

This is what has been taught over centuries, as good ethics and morals. However it seems we have forgotten humanity and the world, and become utterly selfish and self serving in our motives.

(I might break out into a rant of love, but I shall hold my tongue currently). So if Murdoch had apologized sincerely, and had taken the blame for the corporate irresponsibility, then he would have won the public hearts. However his arrogance and attempts to cover up, have made him untrustworthy.

So there are no doubt good genuine leader's out there, and then there are ones that make bad decisions.

Shakespeare wrote a lot of plays, and all of them had political undertones. We can all relate to one or more of his characters... who will you be? who do you want to be?

And just a side note, personally I think Obama is a great leader, carrying the troubled, and burdened times of this country and the world. Yet he is harshly judged. I was sad to hear that NASA had to end it's space shuttle program and Outer Space travel is becoming commercialized/privatized. The federal budget can not support it any more... We spent too much money on WAR!

I will end on the note:

There was never a Good War
Or a Bad Peace.

But was there EVER a peace?





Breathe!



(When I end on "Breathe", it's to remind us that we are here, and now. We are alive and breathing is so pure. So let us let that purity into us).