Being, Being Normal, Being a Woman

Lately, I've been wondering, what would have life been like if I was normal, health wise.
Would my life have been easier if I was a man?
What would life be like if I had NORMAL periods?
What would life be like without Migraines?

What would life be like if I was naturally skinny, and had a naturally high metabolism?
If I had an American name, like Sally, would I be more likely to be hired?
What would life be like without any allergies? No food allergies, pollen allergies or any other allergies?

I am on the search for a natural cure for my endometriosis, fibroids, and other issues. For now I stabilize it with modern medications. Migraines? Unfortunately I need to ride it out, since the medications upset my tummy, and cause ulcers. Not fun. Regarding allergies spring always sucks the life out of me, and I never experienced it till I came to Ohio. Lactose, caffeine, green pepper, pollen, are other allergies I face, which if i didn't have I could enjoy the glory of Starbucks and Keurig, I could eat Mexican and other cuisines without worrying about the ingredients! If I didn't have it in my genes to grow horizontally, then I would love to be a foodie. If I didn't have problems with me periods, then I would do so many things, travel without a care, wear white clothes especially pants, more often... my period holds me back a lot. If I were skinny/ slender / thin then I would buy these amazing dresses I see, and hopefully they would look great!

If I had a name like Sally, well it would be hard for me to be interesting than the majority unless I was a Caucasian/ Anglo-Saxon Sally visiting in India. Otherwise I would have to figure out ways to be interesting. If I was a man, heck I'd join the boys club, pick up random hot girls at bars, who, all look alike- skinny, long straight hair, make-up, high pitched giggle. I'd also go to the gym, and probably get  a lot of raises and work my way to the top, because I'd work hard, charm the ladies, play golf with the guys, and voila!

Is it in my mind? Or is it just that hard to find a job these days NO MATTER who you are, name, race, sex, religion, culture, education, experience? Do they just look at my resume and think- oh no she probably needs a visa... scrap it! Studies say they only look at your resume for 20 seconds or less, maybe I should change my resume and put my experience and education on top and my name at the bottom? I don't know, but I've had trouble in the past while applying to jobs out of 20 applications I'd get only 1-2 interviews max.

Forget the NSA, is it true that HR managers will facebook search you on all social media sites etc. Privacy? What privacy? It's a fact you can't privately live your life in a digital age! Partying? Online social activist? Gay? Forget the job, you're a risk. If you do get hired, there's the office politics, and if you're a woman you better watch out; I've noticed a shortage of woman mentors at places of work. Instead of helping you up, they push you down... Why!? Why do we do this to ourselves?

I think we need to change all this and soon. Yeah, chucking thoughts about my period, migraines etc. out the window... we need to help each other as sisters. Yes we, as the "fairer" sex, have this issue of insecurities, jealousies which drive us to this competitive and ridiculous behavior, but we are in fact feeding the stereotype that women are gossiping b@#$es for lack of better words.

Focusing on changing things in the work place, changing things in our wombs... let us focus on positivity, letting go of resentment, anger, jealousy, and say we can rise up despite all challenges that are placed before us.

I am a woman, a brown woman. I have a long and hard to pronounce name. I am intelligent, and accomplished.

I have painful, long lasting periods. I will do yoga. I will find natural doctors.

I have awful Migraines. I will meditate.

I have weight problems. I will exercise. I will eat healthy.

I will work harder and go above and beyond for that raise.

I will be persistent in pursing my dreams, career, and goal.


I will work harder than the norm.




Breathe

Migraines

It starts out with a small spot, then it gets bigger and bigger, and soon there is a huge blind spot. That's what i am dealing with right now. It's called an aura... nope not the aurora borealis, but a visual aura which will lead to a very long throbbing, (nope not penis) but painful headache. So this is just the beginning, this aura. Its bad cause I can't see half of my 15" screen, and even worse while driivng.

The funny thing is I have been hydrating with "pedialyte". I also just read it has dextrose, sucralose in it. I am always very wary of aspertane... allergies... what is it? why?

10 minutes have passed, and the whole left field is affected, and the pain is coming on. I begin focusing on my breathing, calming down, closed the curtain, dimmer the lights, made the area cool. drinking water now.
I keep thinking if I close my eyes, it will go away. It is less painful with eyes closed. After it all passes, brain is definitely tender, basically, my head is tender.

When I began seeing the chiropractor, the migraines did lessen, so that is somehow related. So spinal health - migraines, definitely.


Ok time to retire. The Headache is on full throttle, the eye sight still diminished.


Update:

The migraine lasted over 9 hours, getting worse at times, I battled through it and stayed at work.
I can't take excedrin or any other medication because the caffeine in it or some other  ingredient makes my tummy super ill. And seeing how I just got over 5 days of diarrhea, and dehydration, no thank you.
However Essential Oils - Peppermint (rub on chest and a little on temples), helps miraculously to reduce/ soothe the migraine.  If you don't have peppermint try Clary Sage, this helps as aroma therapy. If not try lavender. Most effective lavender and peppermint.

The day after, head is tender to touch, and a little dizzy, disoriented, and it feels like a hangover without the party and drinking the night before.

Also I am told Vipassana helps.

Period

This is a topic which everyone seems uncomfortable talking about, even with our OBGYNs. All women experience it however. I'm glad I can talk to my closest female friends about this stuff. So I am just gonna write my heart out about it, for all those women who don't have someone to talk about it with, or think they are the only ones with awfully painful and icky periods!

Once a month, actually it used to be twice a month, I would feel the pain of being a woman. The cramps, migraine, back pains, bloating, irritation and lack of rationality, mood swings, comfort food binges, nausea, vomiting, depression, zits (pimples), crankiness, increased whining, feeling like your head's in a cloud... These are general period symptoms, and PMS symptoms. Not all women experience this, but many do. Many women have other complications... like endometriosis etc. Everyone knows there's all sorts of women out there, with different body types and shades, colors, features, personalities... we also have different periods!

Some women have a short period, no pain, they barely know it happens. Some women experience ghastly periods,  long painful, heavy. Others have medium periods. There are also all sorts of pads, tampons, and eco-friendly feminine hygiene products to use. Some women just use a thin, tiny panty liner, others use a tampon, other use a thick pad, some women have to use a combination due to super heavy flow.

As lovely as we are as women, beautiful, elegant, we can turn into that loud mouthed, outrageous, obnoxious, rotund auntie every now and then... then again some of us don't. Some women have their period like it's any other day. I envy those women, however at the same time, the pain and bleeding I go through reminds me of how difficult it is being a woman. Yeah it's difficult for me, the pain is crippling, my emotions a mess, and all the PMS symptoms and then some. It's just my body is different and I have to come to terms with it. My hormones levels, uterus shape, etc. are different from other women. No to uterus/ hormone levels are same, and none are perfect! On my period days, it's hard to go to work, hard to even walk sometimes!

The period is a beautiful thing cause it reminds us about the miracle of birth, and the joys of giving birth...or not! Yeah if the period is this bad, how much better can the birthing be? People say the baby is so worth it, I'm not convinced yet. I'm sure my time of "realization" will come, don't push it on me! It's just not now, not today. Yeah the miracle of the human body is what comes to mind, though: how the body knows when to shed the lining, to release the egg because it hasn't been fertilized, let it go... let it flow... breathe!


Women who have problems with their periods, endometriosis, fibroids, PMS, etc. means definitely something is whacky with the hormones. Which means the doc puts you on "the pill". which regulates periods through hormones, and helps out with other complications. Which basically means difficulties in weight loss and other complications are in the books for you by the age of 30. Did you know some women take oral contraceptives, the pill or birth control, just so that they can alleviate period symptoms due to under lying health problems, which are untreatable other than surgery, or so my OB/GYN tells me. Which isn't helpful cause then you are on pills till you want to pop out babies, and then - hysterectomy! So when people are up in arms about paying for birth control, due to religious or health insurance purposes, they need to experience MY PERIOD. Then they will shut up. Forget rape, periods are bad enough!

My Period: it's painful, makes me crumple up in a ball and cry; makes me crave comfort foods, and depression just a few of the things I experience. My period makes me get angry at the ones I love at the drop of a hat; I can from Dr. Jekyl to Mr. Hyde, sweet elven princess to an Orc, I am not kidding. Other than that I loose huge amounts of blood, and have been anemic on account of this. Not to forget that sometimes there are clots, and sometimes messes occur if I don't keep an eye on the clock. Oh how many clothes, and bedsheets I've had to wash/ or ruined. Drinking makes the flow heavier and the mess happens sooner, however the pain becomes easier to ignore. My period has humiliated so many times due to red patches on my white pants, when it sneaks up unexpectedly- breakthrough bleeding! Why does that happen? Apparently due to stress, life, and the body just felt like period-ing. High blood pressure sometimes can be a side effects of periods, which doesn't make sense because you are losing blood. Bloating up and feeling like Jabba the Hutt for 3 days. It's nice cause after that you feel super skinny, plus apparently during menstruation you burn more calories. Nausea and vomiting at the slightest smells, and the olfactory glands change or something... it's like pregnancy almost. Migraines, oh yes with Aura too please! A headache like no other, vision affected, skin sensitive to touch, sensitivity to light... all while your lower tummy area is bloated and aching very much. The last few days its like a crunching, crumpling pain, like its squeezing the remaining stuff out. The first days its a scrapping pain, and the lower back hurts a lot. Throw in a fibroid, endometriosis, and a retroverted and retroflexed uterus: this makes it a little more painful. The shape and positioning of the uterus is hereditary, from birth and it's just the way the body is. I'm glad I can take a medication that makes this a once in three months only thing. It sucks to go through it 12 times. At one point my body was like "oh once in two weeks seems like a good schedule to have a period." I pleaded, "please that's not fair, my other friend has her period lightly once in 5 weeks, why can't we be like her?" My body told me "we're just different, deal with it." I couldn't deal with it for a long time, besides wanting to have a different shaped body! My period has always controlled what I do, wear, my emotions at times even, and my life! So birth control, or "period control" pills were such a dream come true, especially since they will not perform a hysterectomy on a 28 year old, and not even on a 30 year old who hasn't had kids yet.


My dad always said "Women go to work, and they deal with it. You never see a woman taking a day off for her period do you?" When I skipped a class or stayed home from work due to tectonic movements in my uterus- Cramps! I always wanted to reply"you don't know that." or "maybe those women don't have my type of period", but after a few times of trying, I realized he wouldn't understand. Most men won't understand. A man has no place in making those calls whether it is contraception, rape or abortion. You don't have a vagina, or uterus... don't say anything!

I wonder though how many women would take a day off for the first or second day of her period (especially when Motrin helps sometimes, and mostly for a few hours. Also recent studies have shown prolonged use of motrin can cause deafness)? How many women go through such an obtrusive period that they can't do stuff they love? As a kid I remember girls wouldn't want to play sports cause they didn't like it and would use period as their excuse. I love sports, I love climbing, yoga, going to the gym, and my period really gets in the way of me living my life the way I wan to live it. Now a days I know a lot of active girls, how does there periods affect their lives?

Some people tell me, "have kids, get it over with", others would say "do what you have to"... but in the end it comes down to us women and our bodies. I don't think I need to pop out babies so I can get on with it. I will try the solutions available first. I'm super happy that I am in charge of my body, and I am even more in control of it now that I do yoga (I do not recommend yoga on the first three days of the period however). There have been times I have been off the pill, and have controlled the menstruation and flow through eating healthy (no alcohol, caffeine, sugars etc.) and exercise, but it is difficult... it's a whole system, just like losing weight. In fact the endocrine system has everything to do with weight loss- thyroid, ovaries, adrenal glands etc.! Sigh! So lets meditate and breathe into those organs that are out of balance or feeling ill. Perhaps through meditation and yoga I can get my period to manifest less "in my face" type and more subtle like - panty liner only (heavy and obnoxious flow versus, a light and less debilitating flow)! Then again this is what truly makes us the stronger sex putting up with so much!

I have a better picture of this... in fact in Donna Farhi's book there's a much better explanation.

2 Week Goal: Yoga and Cardio Results!

It's been 2 weeks and guess what I lost 12 lbs total!
Very happy. Also not only has yoga and the Vinyasa flow become easier, but muscles stronger and smoother motions, stamina has increased (I can't run like a marathon, but I can do an hour of moderate cardio on the elliptical or the other thing, see picture below), and so has lung capacity. I want to say the lung capacity is a result of the OMs, but I think it's everything combined.

What is this thing called? Whatever it's great!

It's not a stepper, it's not the elliptical, is it a cross country ski thingy?

Anyway, carrying on with this schedule, hopefully I'll be back to normal, and great physical condition again!


Breathe!

2 Week Goal: Yoga and Cardio

I stuck to this! Ok I did eat some crappy food on Sunday (burger, tiramisu)  but I did eat healthy all other times. Regardless, I must say the results are almost in!
This was what I did since the 25th of Feb 2013:

At least 30 minutes everyday!

M-yoga
T- cardio
W- Yoga
Th- Cardio
Fr- Cardio
Sat-Yoga
Sun- Cardio

That's what I did. I rested Sunday though.
Dropped 7 lbs to 142lbs but my scale at work (which is calibrated) said I was 135 lbs! So I don't know. My arms are more toned and the rest maybe TMI! Either way it's not about how much I weight, but how I feel, fit and follow through.

Overall I feel better, active, lively, positive, happier, and that I am losing inches little by little. Not even noticeable. Slowly but surely like the tortoise. My body is different from another person's. I did 35 minutes to an hour of cardio, and an hour of yoga every other day. Everyone's body responds differently. This weekend I will do about 2 hours of yoga, a 2 - 3 hour hike hopefully, eating healthy the whole time. This is my follow through, which will continue beyond. This will also help me prep for bicycling in the summer.

My old pants fit a little better, I feel more muscle underneath, and more fat can be flung off and away into oblivion... especially off the hips and middle area. Of these "child bearing" hips which is so genetic. However even with the larger clothes I did purchase, there is noticeable difference as to how I fit into it!


Breathe!

This is not me!

Let's Talk About Weight Baby!

So I just read this article by NPR and it compelled me to write this piece.

Are you Obese? Do you need to lose weight? Do you want to get healthy? Do you want to safe on future health costs? Do you want to look good for you?

I know I do!
Have you tried the following and it didn't work for you?
Diets - doesn't work
Working out - doesn't work
Medicine - doesn't work
Surgery- doesn't work
Cleanse - doesn't work
Walking - doesn't work
Support Group - doesn't work
Counting Calories - doesn't work

So weight loss isn't easy, but luckily it isn't rocket science, but it is science and it is life. Your life. Forget media, and body image, this is about getting healthy- preventing diabetes, depression, heart disease, etc. etc. etc. We also want to not push it the weight loss issue to the point of Bulimia or Anorexia. First find out a good body weight for your height, age, sex and body frame. Yes, we all want to look like either Kate moss, or Beyonce, but we are blessed with unique bodies. Each one is so different.

What weight loss method have you tried? How long did you try it for? Did it work? Why did you stop?

We live in a society where instant gratification of the senses is so important, easily available, and temptation is constantly flung at our faces, body, mind, and all our deepest desires. Yes I do want a huge Tiramisu all to myself. I think I can get it at any major grocery store, or probably an Olive Garden or Macaroni Grille, but I'm not going to give in to it. It's just not something I would do.

The secret to weight loss is a balanced, healthy, all - round approach. Support from friends and family, a healthy balanced diet, giving up bad habits (laziness, smoking, alcohol, caffeine, pop/soda, excessive carbs and comfort foods), anaerobic and aerobic exercise, yoga, meditation, periodic cleanses, self control and discipline. It's a whole life style change. Change from depressed to calm yet energized and focused. Change from stagnant body to active body. Change from eating garbage to eating mindfully and consciously. Change from instant gratification, to patience and new sources of gratification. Change from thinking fat, to thinking lean. Change from thinking negative to positive. Change from large portions to smaller portions. Change your Circadian cycle. Change from bad habits to good habits. Change to a better circadian cycle. Change from no stress management, to better, effective and healthy form of stress management. Change to trying new things like dance, yoga, zumba etc.

It's about balance, and being responsible to yourself.
Find a combination that works for you, your body, your life and work.
Be good to yourself, be nourishing, loving, gentle, kind to yourself (which does not translate as indulge yourself in processed foods). Make yourself a colorful delicious salad, take time grocery shopping, reading labels, research what's good for you! Remember its about you, and your happiness after all. Surround yourself with good friends who support you in your endeavors!
You can do this!




Breathe with me friends! Breathe!

... On My Mind - By Piyali Banerjie

This was written by my sister on October 30th 2008 a few days before Obama was elected. She canvased for him back then and faced so many rude people... I love her so much!

Racism & Other issues in the United States of American, 2008

I moved back to the United States of America in 2002. I had been waiting for that moment all my life spent in India. I was anxiously waiting to come back to MY country finally. The country I was born in. The country I was so proud of. Through reading magazines, newspapers, watching Hollywood movies, listening to the variety of music made in America, and watching the news & media people in other countries learn that ANYTHING and everything is possible in America! Everyone’s dreams can come true in America! Francis Scott key included the phrase “the land of the free, and the home of the brave…” in the national anthem, that we sing with such pride and joy, which grants our citizens freedom.
I was so proud to be apart of a nation that made room for EVERYONE. People from all walks of life: race, ethnic origin, religion, and sexual orientation. To grant these people equal rights and freedom is something that other countries may lack. Living in India exposed me to the lack of freedom and rights given to people who had different beliefs and values than that of society. It was so wrong for a Hindu to marry a Muslim. Woman did not have the kind of support to stand up to an abusive husband, or their rapist. People don’t have too many divorces, and continue to live in their dysfunctional marriages. People are ostracized in their own homes if they ‘come out of the closet’, or police authorities can go to the point of punishing persons for being homosexual. These are a few examples of the lack of freedom that I talk about.
When I moved to the United States, I was happy to see how accepting people are towards other people (externally, they seem to leave others alone and mind their own business). I was happy to see that single mothers have the opportunity to make something of themselves, and give their children equal opportunities that a woman with a husband could. I was happy to see that people care for one another. I was happy to see that a homosexual couple could be seen in public holding hands. I was happy to see people of different colors, nationalities and religions live in harmony.

I witnessed a few different instances of racism, but didn’t think too much of it. But I think I clearly see a miniscule slice of racism in America now that we have a Black man running for President. I did not expect ‘race’ to be an issue, although the last two weeks before Election Day has shown otherwise.
Working for the Obama campaign in medina OH has been really hard, since I hear the ‘N’ word a few times each day. I have often gotten this response: “I am not racist, but I don’t know how good I feel about a BLACK person being our president, he was okay as a Senator though”. Also, the assumption that he is Muslim, or an Arab, or has a “Muslim”/”Arab” name, is both idiotic and sad at the same time. I have many Catholic and other Christian friends from Middle Eastern countries that have “Muslim” first and last names, who are Christian. Never have been MUSLIM, and neither have their Grandparents, or great grandparents or great great grandparents. What does a name mean? Hold? What is in a name?
Also, what if he was a Muslim? So what? What’s wrong with being an Arab? A Muslim? Lets address the Muslim aspect of this first. What about the American-Muslim child who aspires to be the President someday?? Is that not possible, in a country where they preach freedom and equality? On the account of being Arab…people seem to believe that Arabs look a certain way, and are most probably Muslim. Do anti-Muslim Americans know that there are Arab people who are Christian? There are Arabs who look like Caucasians? Also, that not ALL Arab Muslims are religious extremists and follow the words of Syyid Qutb (the man whose ideas would shape Al Qaeda. Please read his book ‘Milestones’ to learn more), or the Al Qaeda doctrines?? (With all due respect to Christians)I often wonder how these people who dislike anything arab would react if their lord’s son Jesus Christ were to descend from the heavens. Would they believe he were the son of god? Would they believe anything he says? Or would they condemn him for looking like an “arab”/”jew”/”israelite”? Because for sure, Jesus Christ was not a white skinned ‘Aryan’, with thin light brown hair. The chances of him having light eyes, let alone blue are quite slim (http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/basic/christ/physical_appearance.htm, http://www.thenazareneway.com/likeness_of_our_saviour.htm, http://www.jesuscentral.com/ji/questions/how/describe_the_physical_appearance_and_generally_how_174.php ) That reminds me, the Ku Klux Klan (the circle clan, founded in TN, 1865), was an all protestant, white cult which had a few leaders who were previously Reverends, who used the lords name to execute hatred, suffering and even death upon anyone who was catholic, black, Jewish and other foreigners. When members of the Klan would burn crosses they would play ‘amazing grace’. What a shame. Now, are these people ignorant? Uneducated? Or correct in what they believe?

The term ‘nigger’ was historically used to describe people of African origin, but also means “an unlearned person”. If these people mentioned above were not ‘unlearned’, then what were they? I do not think that word should be a part of anyone’s vocabulary whether they are white or black. I am very sad to see that people have started using this word again as the election nears (in hatred). I do not think it is right under ANY circumstances. I was called an “N***** lover” last week for supporting Obama by two individuals who claimed that I was too ‘hot’ to support him. They went on to justify how it was okay for them to use the word so loosely. I may not be of African decent, but it does offend me. I do not take racism lightly. When my mother was a little child living in England she was spat on by Skinheads. They told her “Paki, go home!” As a child she didn’t understand, and when she learnt why she was afraid and felt less fortunate for not being ‘white’. That was not the only story that led me to my disappointment.
Isn’t there enough hatred in this world, why hate someone for being another color? Darker people have extra melanin in their skin that ensures protection from the sun as they live closer to the equator. Is that so bad? Can that not be understood?
I would be more understanding of this sort of hatred if racist people were from a third world or a less fortunate country. This is America!! This is a first world country!! This county grants citizen with free or affordable education!! How can educated people think like this?
I am also distraught on how there is a double standard in society. Talking “black” or in ‘Ebonics’ is looked down upon by middle class America. I think that most minorities have to work so hard to gain respect in society. Some examples of these double standards are: Laura Bush talking with a southern accent vs. (if) the Obama’s were to use Black Vernacular or have a “black” accent. Somehow people believe that having a southern accent is more acceptable than speaking in a “black” fashion. Therefore, “ya’ll” and Palin’s famous “you betcha’ (Wink)” is still okay!
Palin’s large family is looked at as “normal” or “average”. Most ‘average Americans’ are NOT known to have five children. Maybe a few years ago, but not today. I wonder if Obama would be considered to be a “typical Black person” had he had five children (?).
Also, if he had a 17year old daughter who was pregnant, would that have been seen as “typically black”? But people seem to be very accepting of Palin’s daughter Bristol’s pregnancy.
How about Cindy McCain’s drug addiction for three years? She lied to doctors, made up fake medical needs for prescriptions to attain pain killers to use it HERSLEF. Where is her penalty? We know that celebrities get lenient sentences,… what if Michelle Obama were to have tricked doctors to get drugs for her own drug addiction, what would middle class America think of that?

I cannot relate to this double standard. I cannot relate to “average Joe” or the “Joe six-pack” talk given by Gov. Sarah Palin. Why are we lowering our standard, the idea of conservativeness & the idea of an average American??? Do most average Americans have pregnant daughters? Do Average Americans believe that an eighteen year old is ready to be a mommy and a wife? Do Average Americans believe that it’s okay for an individual’s grandchild and child be a little over a year apart? Do Average Americans believe that they MUST buy designer clothes to LOOK GOOD?? Do they think that JC penny’s is not good enough? Really???

I’ll tell you what, the day I was informed that Palin made rape victims’ in the state of Alaska pay for their own rape kits, sent a cold chill down my spine. Who would support that?
I will now state why I am supporting Obama, and why I shall NEVER elect neither McCain nor Sarah Palin to office. A VP is a step away from being president, and if anything were to happen to McCain…Sarah Palin is not fit to be president. Also, McCain’s lapse of judgment caused me to question what other decisions he may make to satisfy certain requirements. She could not name ONE newspaper/magazine she reads. She was wrong at stating the JOB DESCRIPTION of the VP position (Chris Matthews, Hardball CNN). She cannot name ONE Supreme Court ruling she disagrees with. What about Plessey v. Fergusson!?!?!? That’s one we all learn in American High school. I went to American high school for a year and a half and learnt at least that much! Running for VP of the country? Sad !! How can we rely on her? It also does not help to know that their partnership in this race is not working out very well, considering that their aides have been having a hard time getting along with one another.

I have felt strongly about Sarah Palin, since she spoke of rape victims and how they must not be able to have an abortion, also they must pay for their own rape kits (about approx. $200). I do not think she shows ANY sort of support to victims, or to their suffering.

I am a rape victim. This had happened to me in 2003, shortly after I had moved back to the US (moved here Nov. 2002). I was a virgin. I was not dating the guy who had taken my virginity against my will. I was too small to fight back (I am 5’2”, and at the time less than 100 lbs). I was brutally raped, beaten, with a gun held to my head, later drugged (after I begged for my life). I was also threatened not to tell anyone. I came home that night thankful to be alive, having the opportunity to see my loved ones maybe for the last time, and to bid them farewell before possibly ending my life, before HE came back. I did not know how to tell my culturally conservative Indian family about what had just happened to me. Also, such incidents are not really heard of in the Indian community. “Sex” is not casually talked about in our culture. I did not know what to do. The many fears in my heart, one of which was possibly getting pregnant urged me to attempt suicide. So I did. The blow dryer gave out, it didn’t work. I lived. The next day, due to my sickened, sad, scared, disturbed state of my mind, I told two friends, which later led to telling higher authorities in the school. My mother was informed. I was taken to the Nord center, Lorain OH (rape crisis center), where the rape kit was performed and I had moral support too. That was a blessing to me. I had hope to live. I was given the day after pill. The evidence was gathered, and I had a victim’s advocate who was there for emotional support.

Now, what would have happened had my parents never found out? I would have probably killed myself, since I did not know about ‘planned parenthood’, the rape crisis center, or anything about the justice system or emergency rooms services, since I hadn’t lived in the United States for that long. I am not ashamed to tell my story. I would never want any woman, or anyone’s wife, mother or child to go through what I have been through. I also speak for many Indian, Arab, Muslim,…,woman from culturally conservative backgrounds. I know of some who have been raped by family members whose parents STILL know nothing about it. Fortunately they have not had to bear the burden of pregnancy since they were raped before puberty. Still that DOES NOT MAKE IT RIGHT OR OKAY.
I don’t think that a rape victim should have to bear the burden of being a mother to a child, if they had not intended to consent to sex. If sex had been enforced on them, there is no need for the victim to give up goals in life to be a mother. I believe that they must have the right to choose. This is one of the most compelling reasons why Republican Sarah Palin, the hockey MOM will not get my vote. Senator McCain has taken a ‘cheap decision” in choosing Sarah Palin without a detailed due diligence and that is certainly WRONG JUDGEMENT. Hence, he will not be getting my vote for President of this great nation. I respect Senator McCain for all the great things he has done in the past, but from the RNC – convention – he has demonstrated wrong judgment in more than one occasions.

I am currently an agnostic. I lost faith, and was an atheist shortly after the incident mentioned above. Sometimes to the point to where it may have reached blasphemy (not in the literal sense, but I hated ‘god’ for not being there for me). I am trying to give the bible a chance since I am dating a lovely boy who has strong faith. Of course, I would ideally like to share the same faith or even a little close. Even if I were to be a Christian someday, I would always leave room for people of other religions. I don’t think it’s all about ME, and what I believe in. I’m sure there are other people who believe that the Koran or the Gita,…etc is the word of god. I am also sure that those people do not seek to be ‘saved’. Therefore, I disagree with the Christian fundamentalists who try to control the governance of this great country. I do understand how these people (with all due respect to Christianity—since not all religious people are the same) can support a war in a foreign country. Defense is different than WAR. Killing living people yet trying to save ‘unborn’ children? Makes no sense. (In no way do I support abortions to be used as a form of contraception; in fact I believe that it is an awful form of concealment, to cover up a mishap. Although I still feel that just because I FEEL it is wrong doesn’t mean that other woman who think different can’t make the choice to support it or have an abortion).

After much research I have come to the conclusion that racism exists, but it is a miniscule population. Even though it is disturbing and disappointing to be still present, I am thankful we have moved forward. More Americans are accepting of different racial, ethnic and religious citizens. I find myself grateful for the movement away from the past of emerging neo-Nazism and KKK groups. (44% of white voters are currently supporting Obama).

Just an observation: the crowd gathered to hear Barack Obama is beautiful, colorful, and full of character. THAT I BELIEVE is AMERICA. Blacks, whites, Hispanics, Indians, Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, Europeans, Christians, Jews, Jains, Buddhists,…….Sikhs(with turbans), Muslims, homosexuals, the rich, poor, labor unions, celebrities,…. Yes, that’s the AMERICA I want to live in. That’s the America id like to see. That’s the America that has room for EVERYBODY.
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

I am not trying to tell anyone that this is the right way to vote. These are just my thoughts on issues lingering on my mind. I just thought I would share them with people, especially since I have voiced my strong opinions on this election on facebook. I respect how people feel, but these are my reasons for voting in this direction.

LONG LIVE – THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Sunday Work Out

This was a super busy weekend, but ate healthy the whole time.

We went out and got some semi healthy groceries - Jewish Rye Bread, cold cut turkey, pepper jack cheese (probably not the healthiest), fruits (grapes, pomegranate, strawberries - too ripe), salmon, potatoes, onions, tomatoes, carrots, lemon and milk (rice milk and normal 2% milk). This would be our food for a few days.
We had a sandwich with the rye, meat, cheese and mustard that day, and shopped the rest of the day, walking fast through crowds since we wanted to get home soon. Although they say shopping does help burn calories but is not exercise, this was super exhausting.
We rested for a bit and then went to my dad's house for dinner. Later we played X box Kinect adventures which was super fun and a lot of exercise. I think we like the rafting thing a lot.

Sunday we went to the gym around 4 and worked out for 1 and a half hours- we walked a mile or so, and worked on our abs, legs and glutes.
Walking .5 miles first. Began slowly, then gradually picked up the pace.
We took a break and did stretches, by squatting. this stretched out the toes, feet, Achilles's tendon,Calves, and Ham. kind of like the guys below. yep they are worker guys in China taking a break. We also see this in India a lot. One wouldn't think it was an exercise, but it is great for the body. remember to keep your back straight, shoulders and neck relaxed, and use your legs.

 Then we did this stretch:

Side bends:

Hold each side for about 60 counts, then do the variation below.

Trikonasana

Side bends help stretch, but also help work out the side love handles... which all us women love so much :-/
Hold this pose for about 60 counts. So let's burn those love handles off and shape the body!

We then got down on the mat to do some abs:

Ryan stood on my feet to keep me stable, while doing the sit ups. From being on your back to sitting up positing. With a small twist to this boring old exercise, which gives amazing results. Then we got a 1 kg ball to pass back and forth while doing the sit up. This helps keep your mind off the work, the burn of the sit up and on the ball, which will otherwise smack your face. Great tactic. We did 3 sets of 10 reps (repetitions), and with the two types of sit ups working upper and lower abs. The second type of sit up was a smaller movement, just reaching directly up (instead of forward to sitting position):

This is kind of more straight up movement than forward to sitting up right. It is a small movement getting only your shoulder blades, upper back, neck and head off the ground, than a full sit up.

Then we did leg lifts. Yeah. those, however we made it interesting by changing it up. Ryan stood by my head, so I could grab his ankles to stabilize myself. Then when i would do a leg lift and my feet would be in front of him, he would firmly push it away in any direction, left, right, or forward. Keeping it random, this helps work out all the different ab muscles.


Then we set off to do legs. We went to this awful  machine, as below in the picture, and loaded it with 45 lb weights on each side (90 lbs total), but the bar itself. In the picture this guy has his neck and head raised, it should be relaxed. So this is like doing a squat, however in this position your back is straight, and gravity is pulling the ground toward you.

We 3 sets of ten reps. Ryan had to put on three 45lb weights on both sides (lifting 270 lbs total); now everyone does not have to be this macho to start off with! Remember what you do today you will feel and ache tomorrow.

Then I bench pressed a bar which was mighty heavy for me. I did 2 sets of 8.

We completed walking a little more than half a mile and called it a night. Yes we are both really sore today. All the sets I did, Ryan did with weights or some other advanced variation. When I am able to do that level again I will write about it. Till then I am taking it slow and steady.

Breathe!

Let's Get Healthy

It's time to get back in shape, for me, at least.

I have had some health issues for a quite a few months now, as a result I have gained weight, have high blood pressure, and haven't been able to do the active things I love doing. I don't want to go into details of the nature of the health issue, but I am sure many of you are aware, and dealing with a family crisis back in India. The weight gain has been due to hormonal imbalances, organs not working right, and depression as a result of pain, and hormones. In order for the body to function exercise is important, however if you are in so much pain you can't move (which I have experienced), exercise is difficult. So the hormonal imbalance, Pain, and lack of exercise (doing things I love), all result in inability to burn fat, calories. Also when you are in that state, you don't really want to eat healthy.

For  the next couple of months I will blog about how to get back into shape to hike, yoga, climb, dance, and run. Get into that peak physical condition - shape, cardiovascular, muscular, mental level which I had but a year ago. I am starting from ground zero and with astounding high blood pressure (side effect of meds? Doc is working with me to narrow the cause). If you want to get into shape and do things like biking 40 miles etc. stick with me and hopefully by spring we should be in shape (hopefully sooner, for I long to go back country hiking and camping this winter).

First off I am totally cleaning up my diet - low sodium, which means mostly cooking at home, using fresh ingredients- VEGGIES! Researching (Wikipedia/Google) the nutrition of the ingredients, adding little to zero salt. Using spices for flavoring, and not eating out as much.
I will have some alcohol (beer, wine) on weekends. I never indulge in caffeine other than Earl Grey.
Eating lots of fruits.
Oh did I mention this miraculous but nasty thing called Oatmeal? It helps reduce blood pressure among other things, it is so good for weight loss, but after eating it for 3 years (when I lived at home) it just sounds kind of gross to me. Yes lots and lots of oatmeal.

Starting off these next few weeks: slow and easy Yoga and Pilates, walking or elliptical for 30 minutes to an hour, some light weights to get the arms and back, back in shape, and breathing exercises (Kapalbhati - I learnt it at the Sivananda Yoga Center, Chennai, Google or ask me to learn more and see if it is right for you).

During the work day: watch posture, walk as much as you can, drink lots of water (yes I forget this simple task) and let's not forget sneaking in some... OATMEAL!

 Breathe!

The Secret to Beautiful Long Healthy Gorgeous Luscious Hair

Growing up in India, I saw women with the longest, healthiest thickest and gorgeous hair. I always had short hair, so I had no idea about true hair care, but after finally growing my hair out in 2009, I have learnt so much, by talking to my grandmothers, aunts and other relatives and friends in India, who despite everything have gorgeous glossy long hair. Their secrets will be shared with you!

First, the rules!
If you don't want to bald by 50, and trust me it WILL happen, especially if you chemically treat and style with heat, then you will definitely want to follow these rules. Firstly don't dye your hair, its just not good for you or your hair. The chemicals strip it of moisture, and it does touch your roots and scalp, thus being a danger to you. Other chemical treatments should be avoided too - straightening, curling etc. We will talk about learning how to love your natural hair texture, shape, and how to treat it well.  Secondly, blow drying, straightening curling your hair with curling irons, ruins your hair, especially dries it out, burns and damages it. I used to straighten my hair everyday, for I love the straight look, and have wavy hair. However my hair got so damaged, and stressed. My hair is now midway down my back, to dry my hair I towel dry first. Then I let it air dry in the summer (yes it takes 4-5 hours), and use a diffuser to blow dry it on COOL, in the winter. Third: Wash your hair in cool/ cold water. This prevents your hair from falling out. If you can't then use warm water, and then rinse out in cooler water. This is good for your hair and body. Use conditioners less often. Although it makes your hair "smooth", it weakens it, and causes it to fall out easily and or break easily. Then your head ends up with these few stragglers that stand straight up. Lastly, don't brush hair while wet. It breaks your hair, and pulls hair out. Use a comb, or a brush when its almost dry or dry.

For dry, frizzy hair: Use coconut oil the night before you wash your hair the next morning. Coconut oil (Parachute/ Dabur/Vatika) can be got at any Indian Store. Wash your hair with a mild natural shampoo (Vatika), only once, let the oil stay in if it does cause it soothes out the frizz. It works well for hair in this Ohio type climate (which is pretty much ranges from dry to humid to stormy and sunny in one day, everyday!).Amla oil is great for hair loss, and reduces and encourages hair to grow back, however it is stinky. If you have naturally oily hair, well lucky you! You might think it's gross but the natural oils and sweat actually protects your hair!

For hair growth: Eat fish! baked fish not fried. Fried food is not good for skin, we want healthy skin and scalp right! Baked, or steamed fish is great! Nuts like almonds, foods with the Omegas help hair growth. There are other oils you can use for it to grow faster, but they smell gross. If you wish just comment and I'll let you know what and where you can get it.

Other hair care: So Honey, Lime, Beer, Eggs, and Yogurt are great natural treatment for hair. Eggs whipped and put on hair, are great strengtheners. Yes they stink. I don't suggest it. I did it maybe twice or thrice in high school. Many girls in high school cracked eggs on their heads, stank but had lovely hair.
Mixing a little honey in a mug/ small bucket, and then mixing it up, and then rinsing your hair, is a great conditioner and removes frizzies. Lemon helps lighten dark hair in a natural way, plus rinsing your hair with lime/lemon removes excess oil. Rinsing hair with a dark beer (like say Guinness, or Killian), well I've yet to try it, but it is said it's good to get rid of hair frizzies. The yogurt is good protein, and conditions hair too.

This girl's video was great cause it shows you how to put on oil in your hair. I like to massage it into my scalp by dripping drops onto my scalp at various locations after parting it well. Also love this video cause apparently the music is way to scary for most people. She has nice hair!

If you have curly hair, wavy hair, dry hair, oily hair, straight hair... and want to be natural and healthy about it, learn to love it and work with it. I greatly disliked my curls for my whole life and wanted pin straight hair, I learned to wear it well, by oiling, and using as less hair product as possible. I love using Moroccan Argan hair oil for reducing frizzies and styling it everyday! I eat fish once or twice a week. I like to keep my hair healthy and long, because one day I want to donate my hair to locks of love!

http://www.locksoflove.org/

Challenge Yourself

Throughout our lives our body, the body chemistry, changes- for a handful, it just stays the same. Anyway these changes affect our shape, size, etc. Exercise is the best way to maintain a healthy body with a balanced healthy diet.

I lost my consistency of going to the gym since November last year when I began traveling. Then when I got back, moved and had easy access to a small gym I was not motivated enough. I made sure I did something physically active every week, but that was not enough, some fat had just latched itself onto my sexy body. I began running outside with my uncle, sustained a small injury to my plantar's fascia, climbed every now and then, biked and walked with Ryan. It kept me at a stable size. However that wasn't who, or what I wanted to be. not enough endorphins, and too much fat (for my height, and age). So I put myself to a 90 day challenge of working out for atleast an hour a day, with a 24 hour break every 7 days (everyone is coming up with a version of a 90 day challenge!). I want to push myself, but not push myself to death.

Running/cardio for at least 40 minutes every morning at the ungodly hour of 5:30 - 6:30am. Then I do arms. I go to the assisted pull up machine thing, and set the assist to 14 (lbs? I honestly don't know, I should read it next time). I learnt this awful work out from my climbing buddies Munn and Damien. Hold up for 30 seconds (sometimes 20), then arms at 90* angle and hold (30-20 secs), then little more than 90* - hold (30-20secs), Hang with no assist (30 seconds). Rest 30 seconds to 1 minute. Do 10-5 pull ups, if you can not, then do negative pull ups. Next repeat the previous routine of chin up, 90*, >90*, and hang again (I repeat it because I forgot what the actual thing was). Will take a picture next time and post  the entire climbing / hangboard work out.

Then sometimes I use some of the fancy machines for arms, back, and legs, but I mix it up for now. I will change this as the weeks progress. Also I will begin spinning classes, yoga, and some sort of major cardio work out in week 4. This is currently week 2 and day 8! Woot woot!

Bicycling to work every now and then (or to wherever), and walking up and down the stairs at work, hikes, dancing, I just remember to engage my core muscles, since I can feel them again! Crunches! I go to this other hanging machine, and do leg lifts, straight, to crunching my knees up. Also some legs straight up. your arms are working, core is engaging and crunching! Yay!

Food, I have been putting chia seeds in my shredded frosted wheat cereal which I have with almond milk (which froze - so its more like a slushy breakfast). Then kale is my new mate, and I bake it with a little bit of olive oil, pinch of salt, pepper, and drop of lemon juice. Apples great for women and provide fiber. lots and lots of water. Fish grilled, and chicken - protein of choice. Fish helps hair grow, and I have to have it atleast once a week. Salads, and Subway sandwiches (flat bread- toasted), say no to cheese, yes to guac/avacado, no to any sauce stuff, mustard is an OK. Sandwich at home- whole wheat 12 grain bread (so gross but so healthy), turkey, mustard, ultra thin sliced swiss, colby jack(?), Enjoy!

After a week of working out - I feel a definite change, pulling up my pants was way easier. I doubt anyone can visibly see a change except me. I read somewhere - 1 week you can see the change; 1 month you family can see the change; 2 months you friends can see the change; 3 months (90 days) and public can see a change!

The kale stuff is great and awesome crunchy snack, highly recommend it. Will post the recipe.

Till next time!

Breathe!

Let's work out! Get stronger fingers!

kind of like what Munn was following... this is "easy"

I forgot burpees - jump, squat, plank, pushup, plank, squat, jump! x 10! :-)

Breathe! and cursing is allowed, but DO IT!

do this too! you can also use a paper plate instead of a ball, if the angle scares you. 

Or do it like this!

Crunching the abs

the hanging leg lift!

Breathe!