I wanted to be a writer ever since I had an imagination, and I could scribble characters which were alphabets to me. I first expressed myself by drawing, and then writing. My little 3 year old head had such thought and imaginations; I was fed books, cartoons, movies... and my brain would create a new world for myself from those ideas. It was truly glorious. I have always wanted to share it with the world.
The catch is, being a writer is like being an artist... you might as well be a poet or a penniless sitar player (Moulin Rouge reference). The profession of being a "Writer" was not in my parents vocabulary. Like all Indian parents, the idealized profession for their kids is: Doctor, Lawyer, Engineer. So hackneyed, so trite, yet it is the norm; so sad. However other occupations that lead to an abundance of wealth, and a "normal" life is acceptable, in example - business person, computer technology, research, etc. As long as you are able to follow the formula- Graduate, Get a Good Job (which pays enough to sustain you, parents, spouse and children, accomplish the following- buy house, car, get kids college educated, paid time off etc.). Cookie cutter houses, cookie cutter lifestyle. Life pattern: set. This is the best and safe route: take it. Best advice ever?
I like being safe, but I don't want the above. I've been searching my whole life, for more than what is presented to us by society, family, media, popular culture... There is more, but it's a risky jump away from my clutches. My family and society have never accepted this route/ idea, it's not safe, we don't know where it will lead, it is unconventional. (Just a tiny insight into my inner struggles with identity, family, cultures, life, and self).
Writing, though many a writers do exist, is still an unconventional career. How will I make it work? I am used to a certain lifestyle. Am I willing to give it up and live below my standards to become that independent yet awesome writer I yearn to be. No one believes I can, but I believe in me. Yet I have been seeking support for years now. That is the path I need to take, when no one has faith, I do, and I go with it. I know people who believe in God know God believes in them and it makes it easier. So I will just have to create my own imaginary being, maybe it's gonna be Higgs.
Writers need time, and space, and that's another lifestyle change most families have a hard time accepting. The aloofness, the quiet, ie. why would someone want to go solo, away from family and friends? Especially for a very chatty/clingy/emotionally dependent family. It is funny cause we start out life as us, and then we mold to our families, and then realize we have to become us again. I always was quiet, shy, introspective, and friendly; somewhere that changed and I became social and chatty, and now I long to revert back to default settings.
I want to write, I can't wait to. My mind is a mess, 29 years of ideas floating around, unharnessed, connecting at points, needs filing and organization so bad. I wish I could hire an assistant to help go into the deep dark cupboards in the back, which has fresh ideas locked away, and bring them to the forefront. I need to grease up my writing hand and pick up a pencil, eraser and sharpener and draw the thought flows down
In the middle of the 29 years of mental story planning and building, a lot happened - personal growth, life, college, education, college English classes, artistic influences, dark times, travels, meeting people from all walks of life, experiences and relationships. All this influenced me tremendously in my blog writings and non- online writings. Especially the "imagination- killer"; I love fiction, fantasy and everything beyond this world, that keep us locked in a so called reality with rules and such (law's of physics, science, religion, politics, civics etc.). This person was so grounded, that he condoned my imagination, that "pretending" was silly. However all thinking is imagining anyway, (later I realized). For a while though my imagination was killed, and I sought to be grounded in reality (which I might say is boring, and can make you age faster than the higgs boson!).
This is my choice. This is what I will do.
I will write.
Breathe
PS: found this when I was researching short life spans (reference, see last paragraph of blog)
Animals with short life spans - http://akorra.com/2010/03/04/top-10-shortest-living-organisms/
This happens to humans when they tune into "Reality" too much.
So what should I write?
The catch is, being a writer is like being an artist... you might as well be a poet or a penniless sitar player (Moulin Rouge reference). The profession of being a "Writer" was not in my parents vocabulary. Like all Indian parents, the idealized profession for their kids is: Doctor, Lawyer, Engineer. So hackneyed, so trite, yet it is the norm; so sad. However other occupations that lead to an abundance of wealth, and a "normal" life is acceptable, in example - business person, computer technology, research, etc. As long as you are able to follow the formula- Graduate, Get a Good Job (which pays enough to sustain you, parents, spouse and children, accomplish the following- buy house, car, get kids college educated, paid time off etc.). Cookie cutter houses, cookie cutter lifestyle. Life pattern: set. This is the best and safe route: take it. Best advice ever?
I like being safe, but I don't want the above. I've been searching my whole life, for more than what is presented to us by society, family, media, popular culture... There is more, but it's a risky jump away from my clutches. My family and society have never accepted this route/ idea, it's not safe, we don't know where it will lead, it is unconventional. (Just a tiny insight into my inner struggles with identity, family, cultures, life, and self).
Writing, though many a writers do exist, is still an unconventional career. How will I make it work? I am used to a certain lifestyle. Am I willing to give it up and live below my standards to become that independent yet awesome writer I yearn to be. No one believes I can, but I believe in me. Yet I have been seeking support for years now. That is the path I need to take, when no one has faith, I do, and I go with it. I know people who believe in God know God believes in them and it makes it easier. So I will just have to create my own imaginary being, maybe it's gonna be Higgs.
Writers need time, and space, and that's another lifestyle change most families have a hard time accepting. The aloofness, the quiet, ie. why would someone want to go solo, away from family and friends? Especially for a very chatty/clingy/emotionally dependent family. It is funny cause we start out life as us, and then we mold to our families, and then realize we have to become us again. I always was quiet, shy, introspective, and friendly; somewhere that changed and I became social and chatty, and now I long to revert back to default settings.
I want to write, I can't wait to. My mind is a mess, 29 years of ideas floating around, unharnessed, connecting at points, needs filing and organization so bad. I wish I could hire an assistant to help go into the deep dark cupboards in the back, which has fresh ideas locked away, and bring them to the forefront. I need to grease up my writing hand and pick up a pencil, eraser and sharpener and draw the thought flows down
In the middle of the 29 years of mental story planning and building, a lot happened - personal growth, life, college, education, college English classes, artistic influences, dark times, travels, meeting people from all walks of life, experiences and relationships. All this influenced me tremendously in my blog writings and non- online writings. Especially the "imagination- killer"; I love fiction, fantasy and everything beyond this world, that keep us locked in a so called reality with rules and such (law's of physics, science, religion, politics, civics etc.). This person was so grounded, that he condoned my imagination, that "pretending" was silly. However all thinking is imagining anyway, (later I realized). For a while though my imagination was killed, and I sought to be grounded in reality (which I might say is boring, and can make you age faster than the higgs boson!).
This is my choice. This is what I will do.
I will write.
Breathe
PS: found this when I was researching short life spans (reference, see last paragraph of blog)
Animals with short life spans - http://akorra.com/2010/03/04/top-10-shortest-living-organisms/
This happens to humans when they tune into "Reality" too much.
So what should I write?
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