Raw Materials for Lunch

Dad - What will you eat for Dinner?
Me- I dunno I'll figure it out later
Dad- Ok I will give you some materials for dinner, later on.
Me- What? Materials for what?
Dad- Materials for making dinner. It's all raw materials and you are the extruder.
Me- Why can't you just say food?


Oh My!



Breathe

Life with a Polymer Scientist

dad - start the dishwasher

me - you start it

dad - i dont know how to

me - its a machine!

dad - there's too much ... going on the soap etc!

me - seriously? you cna make really complicated materials using a hi - tech  twin screw extruder but NOT run a dishwasher?

dad - well i don't know, there's so many soaps!! and it's so complicated.

:-O

Breathe!

Vagina Dialogues

It's election day, and as I see it the outrageous archaic views of women in USA and the world is one the the main issues in my eye. The economy, everyone is worried about the economy... China! India! The economy! The world will all settle down... there's a huge shift going on in USA, from manufacturing jobs to more specialized jobs, as more people are educated. It will be so hard to bring manufacturing jobs back here, especially since the top 1% rather hold on to their profits than pay people full time with benefits, give women equal pay, when they can cut costs by manufacturing so cheap in China (this is a different discussion altogether). The economy will eventually settle down, in fact that last few months have shown an improvement in unemployment, but what we can't let happen is go take a step back in our ideas regarding women.

The outrageous and often time laughable comments, so called "facts", ideologies and policies the republican party/ conservatives support, talk about and wish to see passed some day are really backward for the "greatest" nation in the planet. Comments on rape, contraception, woman's rights vs. the rights of an egg! I honestly felt like I i had gone back in time pre-women's rights movement, or a different country, or that I was taking crazy pills.

I do understand all of these views come from religious standpoint and what religion interpret is right, holy, acceptable. However did we not decide not to mix religion and government when we created the USA? Isn't that the reason people emigrated to USA from England, and other nations, was freedom from religion of the king? I don't care what religion you practice, just do not force it onto my body and my choices. I respect your beliefs, but I won't subject myself to it.

What bothers me a lot is being a Woman is a preexisting condition.
What befuddles me is that contraception is looked at as a bad thing.
What shocks me is the notion that women should not get equal pay.
What  nauseates me is the new or old opinions of rape and the facts.
What angers me is old men thrusting policies on women's bodies.

What next?

It is so important to vote this election because people may say oh the liberals are saying these are the ideas of the conservatives, to fear people into voting for liberals. The fact though that conservatives HAVE said these things should be alarming to whoever believes we live in 2012, and not the 1800s.

I think it's important to vote for progressive ways of society because it's a message we send to other nations on how to treat women. We are no different from the people who rape women in India, Libya, Afghanistan etc. if we think its OK to classify different types of rape. I don't need to quote the various politicians who have said things, it has been all over the media, everyone has talked about it. If you haven't look ti up. "legitimate rape" is a term I heard for the first time. Who decides whether rape is legitimate or not? What happened to "No means NO". Rape is RAPE! Justifying it is once again looking for loopholes to take advantage of someone less powerful than you, to get YOUR means. Do we really need to reeducate women? Being a woman myself, perhaps even reluctantly so, wishing I was a boy my whole life, wishing to have the freedom and dominance that a man has... I know how it is to be a woman, have a vagina, and be taken advantage of. After many years I have come to realize it was never my fault, because I DID say NO. And I do not think God was making me go through it as a "gift". However God did help me survive through the dark time, and the evil.


I heard many a things about women this election time, about single parents, about single moms, about stay at home moms, about working/career women... Really? We are in 2012!!!! When we give these ideas power, and vote against our rights as women, we send a message to the rest of the world saying that hey it's ok to keep raping your women, its OK to not let girls get education, its OK to force women to stay at home and work. India is really having an influx of rape cases making headlines, all of them "legitimate" rape. However the trend seems to be with people who are not aware that women who go to bars, dress "western", have "careers", and are independent are women who are easier to rape. I see some parallels between both these countries and cultures and their "justifications" of rape. 

Being a woman is difficult, without even having to deal with rape. However being a woman is so lovely and beautiful, and yes we have the choice of baring children. Some women may choose to have many children, some of us women may not want to, may not be able to and some of us may have an unplanned child. Each woman is responsible for her own body, and abstinence will not work in a world where "sex" appeal drives everything. Why stop contraception, planned parenthood (which serves Women with more than just abortions, but choices, breast exams, ultrasounds, contraception, and education), why limit choices of women? What will they take from us next ... the right to work, and equal pay? Oh wait, that didn't exist to begin with. Well sisters, mothers, aunts, beautiful friends... what are we going to do about this to help each other?

Or do you just want to help you?


This is a choice that will affect the rest of the world.

Remember you have the right to vote today because sisters in the past fought for this right for us, amongst other rights. Let us not  go back to being treated as second class citizens.


GOBAMA!

People actually support and believe this guy... :-/ apparently his gynecologist gave him the facts.

(I don't know I wrote this out of pent up passion and emotion... I will have to read and edit it later, but this was over due. So glad to get this off my mind, heart and soul. Now just get off my body!)



Breathe!


Read this article Sex and the Indian Woman by Awanthi Vardaraj

An Autumn Blessed with Many Life Lessons

This month has been one of many many lessons.
Through grief and sorrow, pain, stress, caring, sharing, loving, many a tear, hugs, goodbyes, prayers, loneliness and togetherness; I have made it through.
The sky has been much grey, of late. The sky weeps many tears down to earth.
The trees are naked, all unclothed.
Fall has always been majestic, dreamy, eerie, and even dark.



Looking back:

My grandmother gets progressively ill, and makes no sense on the phone. The sound in her voice says she was crying out for help and mercy. My Father leaves to India, fearing it may be too late. She holds on and he gets there, and she barely recognizes him. He takes care of her and spends much needed time with her, as I balance spending time with my mother who is a little ill due to a cold, and with my boyfriend, who has some health issues himself. After a few days, my dad gets burnt out, and needs back up, as he is at a loss when it comes to geriatric care, however he is managing and is so humbled to be doing so. He emails my sister and I often with notes on how he feels, and the entirety of the experience.

It is the weekend of Durga Puja, the celebration of the Divine Feminine and we celebrate it reluctantly with cousins here. Durga Puja is the main reason my father decided to go to India, to spend it with his mother and celebrate with her.She is unable to celebrate, but he find time to go back to our remote village of Kudra, to observe the festivities there. He tells us in an email, that the people there have so little, but have the biggest hearts, and their warmth is overwhelming. That's the best type of people right?

My mother departs for India and reaches their safely. She is strong and gets on top of things, but the conditions are harsh, and one can get burnt out quickly. I have health issues of my own, which I had been putting off for a long time, and finally I get my appointment after a month of waiting. This doctor is amazing, thorough and personal. She goes over everything with me, my entire history of health to get to the bottom of this problem, this pain, once and for all.

I speak to my uncle, my sister, my grandparents in New York everyday. I don't realize how often I call my mom and dad, until now. Facing these health issues alone, really suck, but it is something we learn to do, or don't. Hurricane Sandy comes and blows through the East Coast... I lose touch for two days from my sis, uncle and grandparents. Anxiety levels rise. I really miss them, and I am in utter pain, it is rather crappy. Who do I reach out to? I have no energy to laugh, love or even pray... I finally was able to cry myself to sleep last night, and what a relief it was to let go. oh what a heavy burden was lifted. I realize that happiness and satisfaction is not through material things or wealth... but the decisions we make in life regarding, loved ones (family and friends), health, awareness and growth in spirituality and truly caring and sharing.

Today I sang some lovely songs to myself and I felt much better, and I was finally able to pray. Praying is something new, I been learning to accept the possibility of a Higher Power, thanks to "The Artist's Way". It is slow but steady progress, and it's so good to be able to love again. There was a drought due to the sadness I feel through empathizing for my my grandmother in India, my dad's feelings as he is present for her, my mother's feelings as she goes to make peace and forgive a demented little old lady, and ask for her forgiveness in return.

A deep reminder that Karma does exist... the decisions you make today weather big or small, will come back to haunt you later in life. Be mindful, be patient, and value the people in your life, more than anything else in the world.

Falling for Fall

It's amazing how our energies change month to month, person to person, season to season... It is always in Autumn that my Chakras seem so activated and open. A sense of calm, understanding, love and acceptance sweeps over me. It's a dream world, these red, orange and yellow leaves; when the wind blows the trees gently shake their blessings of golden hued crispy dust onto me.

The trees themselves, so happy, they get ready for hibernating for the winter. They smile, they look dead to us, but they smile and lay their heads down to slumber through winter.

I remember as a kid I would go sit myself down in a huge pile of red, yellow and brown leaves which my parents would have so meticulously cleaned off the lawn. I would pick that spot to read a book, it just seemed perfect! Why sit anywhere else?! I think I got yelled at for sitting there and ruining the pile.

I remember being mystified by fall, the once green lawn turned red and yellow over night, blanketed in leaves. My parents would make piles and clean them off. The next day there would be yet another blanket of red, orange and yellow... the trees were shedding their next layer. The air wood get chillier and I would see dark shadows rise up in places I never saw them at in summer. The neighborhood dog turned into a wolf, the raccoons turned into vicious burglars, the pumpkin patch was vandalized, the squirrels turned into greedy little hoarders. The deer got braver and appeared majestically between the leafless apple trees. Once my parents brought us down in the middle of the night to show us a badger, badgering about the lawn. It was like catching the thief red handed! He scampered away into the darkness. I don't remember what the hue and cry was for, but it was fun.

Falls in India were much different, depending on where it was at. In Madras it meant Diwali/Deepavali, Kali Puja, Navaratri, Dashera and Durga Puja (Dashera and Navaratri are Durga Puja but in different names. They all celebrate Shakti). So it meant new clothes, sweets, fireworks, music, art and drama! The days do seem to get longer, and darker at least. The food at this time changes to the more satisfying kichudi, which warms you up to the core. This fall weather lasts through till about February and then it begins to heat up (not that it cooled down much). Fall in Madras meant to me a time of community, art and family. Sometimes a trip to Calcutta for Durga puja.

Calcutta falls, yes it gets chilly and we have to begin to wear our blazers toward the end of October. Fall means Durga Puja! 10 days of holiday in West Bengal. Crowds, road blockages, art, festival, large tents and "pandals" erected in every neighborhood. Shakti is dancing in everyone's hearts. The Mahalaya can be heard on loudspeakers everywhere, then children performing, grownups reciting poems... so much cultural activity. It all ends with drums, dance, and these lovely idols depicting the goddesses being submerged into the Ganges River. The idol is gone, but her spirit stays back with all the people. The arts is washed away, only to re-inspire another year of artistry and hard-work.

Fall in the above the tropics in the northern hemisphere, means bonfires, 'smores, camping, holidays are around the corner, the festivities of hallows' eve, horror movies, hiking weather, blessings of nature... utter beauty and acceptance of change which only nature can give us so freely with love.
Falling for fall: The last of the beautiful bright blue skies, and the last rays of the  warm golden sun, for a few months, until spring. Seems like such a long time from Fall to Spring. Fall colors, smells, the crisp air, warm clothes and the yearning to gather around bonfires and tell stories of Summer!

Greenbrier County, WV 2007

Greenbrier WV 2007

Greenbrier WV 2007

Greenbrier WV 2007

Greenbrier WV 2007

Greenbrier, WV 2007

WV - New River 2010

WV- NRG 2010

The Upper Gauley, WV 2011

My favorite Lothlorien tree at The Point, NRG, WV 2010