As well as meditating, I am also giving up alcohol for so many reasons.
I don't consider myself an alcoholic, but I do think I do have a problem - self medicating.
Many of us use alcohol, yes we enjoy it for the first few sips, but then don't know when to stop, right?
Whatever.
I'm almost 90 days sober, my boyfriend has been an awesome help in the process, however lately I've been thirsty. Sometimes I feel the thirst out of the need to relax, calm my nerves, or just because all my friends are doing it. The cool kids are doing it. I'm not a "cool kid" anymore cause being sober is not cool.
It's so difficult to not judge them, or not let me imagining them judging me affect me. It's twisted really. Try being sober for 90 days, and your brain will get clear, and sometimes even over analyze? Or maybe it's because I don't have anything to placate my hormones anymore. There is a definite change in body, mind and soul.
I ask for courage, from the unknown, for it is sometimes so hard to say no. Its just a drink right? Its legal. I don't have a problem...
Hmm so much of life to contemplate with those few sentences, and when I look at why i am changing my self for all the above questions, I begin applying it to others, and I see so many people who have problems! And I feel - If I am fixing myself why shouldn't they?
Hmm so much of life to contemplate with those few sentences, and when I look at why i am changing my self for all the above questions, I begin applying it to others, and I see so many people who have problems! And I feel - If I am fixing myself why shouldn't they?
It's not easy.
The first four lines of the serenity prayer have been so helpful to meditate on.
The first four lines of the serenity prayer have been so helpful to meditate on.
"____, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference."
Meditation, and the prayer, help me remove the negative feelings which arise sometimes out of being sober, or observing other people drinking. I see myself counting drinks others have, but then I breathe, close my eyes, or just smile, and think to myself. I am good with the way I am. I am strong. I am a loving caring person. Reach out and make sure everyone gets home safe.
Just like in climbing, we get rid of the fears, panic. I try to condition myself mentally, to love, accept, and even though I see clearly now, understand and accept myself, before judging others.
Just like in climbing, we get rid of the fears, panic. I try to condition myself mentally, to love, accept, and even though I see clearly now, understand and accept myself, before judging others.
You are very brave Pree-pree, good for you. Over time you will stop judging yourself and others. Just understand this Pree, you want to increase your awareness, and there is nothing wrong with that, just like there is nothing wrong with others not increasing their awareness. Increased awareness allows you to see more, but with enchanced awareness comes another bucket of problems too, so you need to acquire other characteristics as your awareness grows. Sounds like you are doing well though. Be careful not to beat yourself up too much. You're doing great. For what it's worth, I'm proud of you and I'm sure others are too.....
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteTrying another path right now.
Changes make us stronger.