The One Heart Way

If you read my previous blog about what happened to me, you must have wondered, so what did she do after that? How did she go on? There would be many questions.

First off- I told someone, and that someone helped me find help. Especially since, abuse leads a women to lose self respect, looks for self-deprecation. This is because of all things the woman blames herself, and self worth plummets. She believes she deserves this abuse, and unknowingly seeks out more abuse. It is hard to break the cycle. I think once we identify victims of childhood molestation, abuse, and rape, we must intervene with confidence boosting therapy/ help to break the cycle. I was lucky to have a few great mentors/counselors along the way. Unlearn being the victim, and focus on building the self once again.

Second - I refused to ever feel helpless like that again. I promised myself I would never get "drunk" with anyone I do not utterly trust. So, honestly, I get drunk only if i am home, with my parents, or with my boyfriend (who would have had to earn my trust). Also I always make sure there is a designated driver (drinking and driving is so dangerous, please always have a DD).If I am ever at a club again I will always buy my drink from the bartender and watch him make my drink. Never accepting drinks from any guy I don't know, anymore. If you don't drink alcohol, good for you, but remember, roofies/other "date-rape" drugs, could be mixed with your non-alcoholic beverages too, so beware.

After my sister's incident, she and I both began learning Kwanmukan Karate. However as children we both  learnt basic self defense from Shihan Hussaini. This was my first introduction to Isshin-ryu Karate. Then I picked it up again in 2007 here. I practice it non-competitively since I do this for me. My Sensei is slowly teaching me how to spar. Isshin-ryu means a lot to me, because my Sensei not only taught us how to defend ourselves, but the history of Karate, discipline, helping out in the Dojo, being good to ourselves, becoming fit, reminding us to drink water, it is more than fighting...It's the meaning behind it all.  A meaning, a code that must not be taken lightly. The philosophy is the base of all forms of martial arts, including this form of karate, which stem from various regions of the East, for Isshin-ryu, it stems from the Ryu-Kyu Islands of Okinawa (Japan), are truly eye opening- simple but profound (like most eastern philosophy). Isshin-ryu stands for - The One Heart Way (literal), but meaning - the way of the one heart.. the story goes on to say we all have one beating heart. So I will fight you if I must, but the choice is yours. Although I may have mace, or some sort of self-defense tool, I now have my empty hands,for they are learned in "the way". I maybe no black belt, but the first rule is ... avoid conflict at all costs, run! I talk to my Sensei about this and many scenarios, and he is very strong, so I always think its the best way to practice.

Third - Always be alert when walking in an unknown place, or at night. Don't let your guard down even if it is in your own neighborhood (see Kitty Genovese). Be ready, be alert, remember what you could use to defend yourself.

Fourth - working on "ME" has helped mend me, my confidence, self esteem and my heart and soul. I learned to be more conscious, and give love, forgive, and let the light flow. I think this healing came from my sister, who has a crazier story than mine. Thought younger, she has learned so much in such a short time. She is my hero. Find a way to heal, spiritually. It is very important, for the spirit is what is ripped open, no matter what happens to the body. (I honestly wish I could refer my sister to people who need this help, she does have an awesome organization called Conscious Culture). Meditation, art, writing, music, yoga, dance... are all creative outlets to

I am glad though I can take care of myself, and I now know that "No means No". I know what sexual harassment is, and I let people know when they have crossed the threshold. I am glad I grew out of my drinking-partying-clubbing stage, and have grown up to be interested in a different type of night life (camping, star gazing...). However I never forget the things I learned, especially since I travel to different places.

I also never forget to breathe...

The Goddess/ Megami the symbol for Isshin-ryu Karate

2013: Resolution Smesolution

I asked Ryan what his resolution was a few years ago, and he said he didn't make promises he could not keep. That's pretty much what a resolution was. Most people make a promise to themselves to stop eating desserts, work out more, quit smoking etc., and inevitably most people end up breaking their resolutions. So I totally saw his logic. Honestly who am I fooling? It sounds so virtuous and it does make for great conversation at a New Years Eve party, but it really takes more work than that. I don't remember a year that I actually practiced my New Year's Resolution for the whole year. So this year I thought for a long time about what last year meant and what will be different this year.

My goals in regards to health, and career are what will be my main focus this year. I will work out more, watch what I eat, learn to cook healthier meals. I will be mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually more CONSCIOUS! I will pursue music, photography and drawing. I will learn Chinese. I will get back in shape to do all the things I love to do by May. Blog more... last year I wrote 65 blogs! i love blogging, i love your feedback! Keep it coming!
Career wise, I will write more, focus on my book, other writing projects, maybe start something on my own... I don't know what this year holds, but I will be open to all options at this point. I am so excited, opportunities abound!!

That's it right there! Those are my goals for this year. Keep it simple, make it a part of me...
I don't want to go into detail, but I am sure it will unfold on here as the month's go by!

Until then I am grateful for my lovely family, my amazingly talented best friend and boyfriend Ryan, my wonderful loving friends, my work, whatever health I do have, and ...

Breathe!

Yeah, I drew/calligraphy-ed/ wrote this!

The Rape of Shakti

A sister passed away today. She was a survivor of a more than brutal crime against her body, her womanhood, her femininity, her shakti. She was assaulted, and raped, she eventually died from her injuries. This is not the first case. This is just the first outright case of violence against women.

If you do not know what happened, Google Delhi Gang Rape, for more details. The gist: A 23 year old medical student was leaving the movies with her male friend at around 9pm. She was brutally raped by seven men, and it included an iron rod, on a moving bus. He was beaten, and also tried to defend her. They were stripped of their clothes and thrown out of the bus. She survived for 10 days, with so many injuries, and only 5% of her intestines left...

Before I go on, a few women have ruined the case of rape/sexual harassment for the rest of us, by making false claims. Now this has become a common excuse now for the rapists/harassers. Every rape is now questioned for validity, legitimacy... This case was legitimate beyond a doubt, although politicians and such never seize to make outrageous comments.

I always find it strange that in a land that worships Durga, Kali, Laxshmi, Saraswathi, just a few of the powerful Goddesses worshiped in Hinduism, that so many women can be raped. What is it that makes a man do this despite, laws, police, government? I have known for ages, and only recently my eyes have realized that it was the society, the culture. It is not only in India, but in many countries, cultures, and societies.

As a teenager, in India, I was never seen as a "good girl", I always lived on the edge, sought out danger, adventure and never listened to my parents, typical rebellious teenager ... a guy I was dating, his mom forbid me to date him for I was not Indian enough. Another guy's mom said I was too modern. The fact that I dated openly and had guy friends was bad as it is. I got in trouble once with the vice principal for "boys" being an unsuitable hobby (apparently, if I remember correctly, I was caught talking in chapel to my best guy friend, who also got in trouble a lot for being a smart ass with everyone). So she called my mom to come in. My mom obliged, and the vice principal told her "what do you think of your daughter having "boys" as her extracurricular activity?" My mom replied "P has many guy friends, and she is old enough to know what's good for her." Yes I wore jeans and other western clothes, liked hanging out with guys, I dated a few guys too, and liked going out a lot. There were rumours about me, as there maybe about any girl who is seen publicly holding a guy's hand.

I enjoyed dating guys, getting attention, the romance of it all, the fluttery feeling of "falling in love", heck! I was a youngen. I loved the magic I could share with a guy, I don't even know how to describe it, infatuation perhaps? I loved the feeling of being loved... So many reasons why young love is so lovely. However, it did come with many a heartbreak.

Somewhere along the line I began hanging out with some college girls, who introduced me to some of their male friends. We went to the disco many times. Most of the girls my age went to discos (Kids were allowed in on weekends). One night one of the older guys, who I had gotten close to, took advantage of me, while I was under the influence. My naivete got the better of me, and I had no idea what constituted rape, at the time. I thought rape was only when a man beat the women, and he was unknown to her. After a few months I finally told someone that I thought I had been raped by this man. I was blamed for it... I shouldn't have gone to the club. I shouldn't have been drinking (although I had no idea there was alcohol in the "Pepsi"). In the end, we did press charges, I don't think the case went anywhere because someone paid someone else off to have the charges dropped. So was it rape? Not according to the law. It was on me. Yes I shouldn't have done a lot of things. I was to blame.

I was a minor, I knew I did not want to have sex, but he raped me while I was drunk and I had no strength to defend myself, and saying "no" many times, obviously meant nothing or meant "yes" to him. He wasn't brutal, but it was still forceful. I may have liked him as a person, but it didn't mean I wanted to have sex. It did turn out that I wasn't his first or last victim. There were many girls, younger than me, older than me. He never got into trouble for he was rich and married. No rich, married business man can ever do any wrong. My virginity was taken from me that night. Will I ever get it back? No! My first time ever having sex, was very awful, I will never be able to undo those memories. At least I have my life, and health and body. It could have been worse. I feel deeply for that dear girl, it could have been me; but we have survived.

I went through major therapy, psychologists, counselors, and a lot of growing up really quickly. However, the general attitude always was- don't drink, don't go to clubs/discos, and stay away from guys. I was a modern / western girl living in India. I felt like I was such a scar to my family. Even "friends" would kind of say, that I pretty much did it to myself. These friends told friends, and I am sure there were awful rumours about me! I know they did. I shaved my hair off in 12th grade. I didn't want to be pretty anymore. I thought it would make me invisible; I remember girls being nasty to me before, maybe they would stop. They all thought I was a "slut", and they didn't have the best intentions I thought, for I heard rumours of what they talked about me. Now they all thought "wow she really is damaged. Something is wrong with her." Every now and then someone would reach out a "friendly" hand, but it was always hard to know if it was genuine, or a ploy to get information. I don't think the closest of my friends knew, and if they did, they doubted me. I doubted me. I was 16!

I traveled to USA to start college and a new life! I went to a conservative christian college, instead of going to one in New York, because my family decided it would be safer. In New York, I risked getting into drugs, pregnancy etc. The Midwest would be safer. So here I am... everything was going well, and then one night at a party on campus, I got drunk (maybe New York wasn't such a bad idea after all). My friend let me pass out on his couch. When I came to, a guy was on top of me. I was so drunk off of tequila shots, I could not even protect myself. Finally I got strength to push him off, and I ran away. My memories are still fuzzy from that night. I kept it all to myself, once again I did not know if this was rape! No one tells us young girls WHAT IS RAPE. It is such a difficult subject to talk about to young women. All of us think, it will never happen to me. It festered in me for a long time, and I messed up. Again it was my fault for going to the party. It was my fault for drinking too much. It was my fault.

The dean called me, since it affected my studies and my behavior, and asked me what was wrong. I kind of told him since I knew I was wrong for having been drinking on campus. I was more scared of being punished for that. I did what any good Christian would do, forgive the "rapist", it felt more appropriate than having him expelled. Besides it was my own folly. Although it did turn out he was an obsessive, stalker, and creep. It was still my fault. I didn't learn from the first time. I shouldn't have been drinking, I shouldn't have gone to a friend's party. These things are just not safe for anyone. Although I have been to parties where my female friends do get drunk, there are boys around, and we take care of each other. My friend took care of me, but had no idea what his room mate was. Anyway my young self got me in such a mess, and I landed up having to see a therapist again, doing community service, and going to a class for being on academic probation. I just couldn't tell the authorities his name for I thought it WAS indeed MY FAULT, and he didn't need his whole life ruined by me having him expelled. I look back, and realize I wouldn't be here writing this if all this didn't happen the way it did. I was 19, and now I am almost 30... if I knew what I know now about being a woman, things would be different. I am not the only one, there are so many other girls, sisters, survivors like me, who just did not know what to do, and for years they blamed themselves.

My own sister was raped, here in the US, brutally, with a gun to her head. When appearing in court, everyone advised my sister to dress modestly. She would dress formally in a suite, but she did have "high lights" in her hair. Some people thought this would reflect badly on her. Why should she undo her high lights, you ask... because girls who have blonde high lights are usually more partying type I suppose? Anyway he got off not guilty, because he did not take the stand, and therefor his priors were not brought up. My sister lost the case not solely due to her appearance, but for other reasons too. However the defense brought up her appearance as a reason why she was likely raped, as if tempting men, lying to parents, smoking weed all means you deserve to be raped, or that you could be lying about being raped. Luckily because this guy tried to kill one of his baby mamma's baby while it was still in her, he is now on death row. Justice however was not served in the case of my sister, not directly at least.

My sister's case was more brutal than mine, but rape is rape. The med student raped in Delhi, India, was more than brutally raped, it is still rape. She survived, and fought till her last breath. We are survivors, not victims. Did we deserve it? NO! Was a crime committed against us? Yes. Will we get justice- Maybe. But we are survivors. We grew stronger and now we know what we can do to help change things. 

I grew up with the ideas and these are the thoughts WE NEED to change:

- if you are dress skanky/slutty you probably deserve something bad happening to you

- it is usually your fault for leading him on

- drinking is bad, if you are drunk and something bad happens to you it is your fault

- pretty girls are more likely to be raped

- rape is only when the person is unknown, and there is tearing of clothes and utter brutality

- sexual harassment is only when things get physical

- if a girl hits or wrongs a guy she deserves to be raped

- if she was a bad person she deserves to be raped

- its ok to rape a girl who sleeps around with guys

- its ok to rape a stripper, prostitute because they sell it anyway right?

- a girl who is raped is damaged goods

- a girl who is raped is outcast

- girls should not go out late at night

- cleavage = rape

- shorts = rape

- one can rape a cousin, neice because they are related

- if a girl is passed out from alcohol, drugs/ fainted/unconscious it is ok to have sex with her

- if you are a wife or girlfriend of a person he may force himself on you

- when a women says no, she actually means yes

- if girls dress provocatively they probably want to have sex and be raped

- its ok to rape people of a certain race/ nationality/ religion

- its ok to rape lesbians / gay men

- its ok to rape a girl who has already had sex

- it is ok to rape a girl who has been raped

- sinners deserve to be raped

- if you are raped God probably is making it happen

- rape and other bad things happen because of karma

- forcing oral sex, or other things is not rape

- rape is only when the women is beaten

- it is not legitimate rape when the women gets pregnant

- women can not get pregnant from rape

- women mostly lie about rape

- its ok rape women when we are at war with their country

...

It goes ON!

Is it really our fault? Is brutal rape more "real" of a rape than party rape? Is molestation less of a crime than brutal rape? Really why do we accept ANY of these? In India getting felt up in a bus, or while shopping at New Market was tolerated, put up with... it was just what happened. Why should we, as respectable women, no matter what our life story, no matter if we are a princess, nun or a stripper, have to put up with this abuse? It's not just in India. It's not that one country's laws is better than another... its the attitude we all have in general toward women. The worst is women judging women.

We need to change the way we think, our attitudes, our beliefs, our laws, our standards for human rights. We need to reverse these ideas, for they are all archaic.
How: Just starting from "Oh my, Leanne is dressed in such a short skirt! What a slut!" We can stop that thought right there! Because that's the thinking, the judging of who deserves what that's the birth right there. If Leanne did get raped, would you think? "Oh that's not surprising, she shouldn't have dressed like that! She was asking for it." The thought should have been "She didn't deserve it."

Instead of thinking: Yeah girls who go clubbing and dress in those skimpy clothes , are sure asking for trouble. 

Think: Wow I am glad she has the confidence to go out in public like that!

Instead of: What did she expect she was getting drunk at a bar...

Think: Maybe if some real men stood up for her and helped her home.

So many such instances occur. We make comments. We have these ideas, and its not just us, but the law makers, the police, the rapists themselves... they use the same thoughts we do. We can not prevent every single rape, we can not change everyone, but we, as individuals, can be more mindful, conscious, and create awareness; tell your daughters, sisters, nieces... and help educate your sons, grandsons, nephews, brothers of how women should be treated equally, respected. Truly, ask yourselves what you believe/think and feel. It starts with you, You and I are society, are the culture, are the attitude. As we change, slowly but surely our policies and laws, on rape and other crimes against women/children, will change.

During this past election we heard some outrageous comments by members of the GOP on rape, and women. This archaic ideology and thinking exists here in the USA, today, and among many many people, not the majority luckily. The fact that it does exist though, is scary enough. Can we really blame India for being like this though? When so many people in this very great nation think the same way as many Indian men, think/behave? If your read a few blogs back, my sister shares her story, her very methodical analysis of how even four years ago we knew there was something wrong with this nations approach to women.

I am trying to figure out how to start this process of changing how we think. I think through Conscious Culture, and other means I can help. I also want to point out abuse and rape does not start and end there, molesting, groping women and children are also as bad. We need to definitley educate children from a young age so they can be aware and know. A child can not tell if they are just being adored by their uncle, or being molested. Also out of fear or respect they may never say anything. We have to start somewhere. I know I will start somehow and somewhere and I welcome ideas, and helping hands who would like to join. Although I feel my rape case was not legitimized by the law of the various lands, I still feel like my words, my story counts. I can help, I can make a difference. We need to keep passing the torch.

Ok I need to let this rest for tonight.

Until then...

Shakti in all her forms elegant, powerfule and terrible... none of them deserve this rape.

So let Shakti rise, and awaken, and her light shine on all to see... heal the survivors, and heal those who attack her. For this rape and rampage has to come to an end.

Breathe.

I finally feel okay sharing my story, and I am not looking for sympathy, but instead help everyone realize that we are all survivors, and more women should help share their stories to help spread awareness. So that we all realize that society, culture, policies and attitudes have to change.

Let's do this!

PS:

So apparently my story is not unusual... college girls get drunk at parties and get taken advantage of... should it be accepted? Should we just not go to clubbing, because it is just putting yourself out there at risk? Should we even go to the movies? Once we stop doing things because of safety, and accept that certain things aren't safe for women? Should we live in a bubble? She we never go out, not work, not go to college, not be near men? It's not just at clubs, it could be family, classmates or coworkers...

Or should we work on making this world a place where every place is safe for everyone except criminals? Of course not everyone will change, that would be too idealistic, however if majority changes, that would be enough. Respect; stricter laws on harassment, rape, abuse; we don't want to take advantage of the system we just want to protect our bodies; education; more research on rape victims, on why rape happens; teaching our children early...



I just found this amazing article. do check it out.

An Amazing Cold Remedy

This is my mom's secret cold remedy, its very strong tasting, but if you are sick, and your taste buds aren't working, this is amazing. It's called "Panchon" (5 spices). It will clear you up, help throat pain, a great preventative medicine, and entirely natural, east to make. Just get the ingredients:

What you will need:

Saucepan to cook it in (you can keep it for 2-3 days covered)
Small tea cup / shot glass (enough for 2-3 sips)

Ingredients:

2 inches ginger
2 bay leaf
1 cinnamon stick
8-10 cloves
12 peppercorn

6 cardamon

2 cups of water




Optional to add at the end directly to cup
1 lemon/lime (squeeze in a dash for taste and vitamin C)
1-2 tablespoon honey (preferably raw and local honey, this will help with cold caused by allergies)

Preparation:
Put the saucepan/ kettle on the stove and start it on medium to low heat.
Add all the spices. Remember to take the skin off and grate the 2  inches of ginger. Add the bay leaves in as is. You may break the cinnamon stick. Crack the cardamon open with the bottom of a mug or something solid and add it in, leave the shells on. Boil it for 20 minutes, you can put the lid on leaving a little gap. After 20 minutes, pour some using a strainer into the small tea cup.

Lastly: 

Squeeze some fresh lemon in to taste, and stir in 1-2 tablespoons honey

It is read. it has a very strong smell and taste; very strong. Be brave and know you will feel better.

So take very small doses (1 -2 sips) every 2- 3 hours. If not save it for the next day!

Love!!!

Breathe!

... On My Mind - By Piyali Banerjie

This was written by my sister on October 30th 2008 a few days before Obama was elected. She canvased for him back then and faced so many rude people... I love her so much!

Racism & Other issues in the United States of American, 2008

I moved back to the United States of America in 2002. I had been waiting for that moment all my life spent in India. I was anxiously waiting to come back to MY country finally. The country I was born in. The country I was so proud of. Through reading magazines, newspapers, watching Hollywood movies, listening to the variety of music made in America, and watching the news & media people in other countries learn that ANYTHING and everything is possible in America! Everyone’s dreams can come true in America! Francis Scott key included the phrase “the land of the free, and the home of the brave…” in the national anthem, that we sing with such pride and joy, which grants our citizens freedom.
I was so proud to be apart of a nation that made room for EVERYONE. People from all walks of life: race, ethnic origin, religion, and sexual orientation. To grant these people equal rights and freedom is something that other countries may lack. Living in India exposed me to the lack of freedom and rights given to people who had different beliefs and values than that of society. It was so wrong for a Hindu to marry a Muslim. Woman did not have the kind of support to stand up to an abusive husband, or their rapist. People don’t have too many divorces, and continue to live in their dysfunctional marriages. People are ostracized in their own homes if they ‘come out of the closet’, or police authorities can go to the point of punishing persons for being homosexual. These are a few examples of the lack of freedom that I talk about.
When I moved to the United States, I was happy to see how accepting people are towards other people (externally, they seem to leave others alone and mind their own business). I was happy to see that single mothers have the opportunity to make something of themselves, and give their children equal opportunities that a woman with a husband could. I was happy to see that people care for one another. I was happy to see that a homosexual couple could be seen in public holding hands. I was happy to see people of different colors, nationalities and religions live in harmony.

I witnessed a few different instances of racism, but didn’t think too much of it. But I think I clearly see a miniscule slice of racism in America now that we have a Black man running for President. I did not expect ‘race’ to be an issue, although the last two weeks before Election Day has shown otherwise.
Working for the Obama campaign in medina OH has been really hard, since I hear the ‘N’ word a few times each day. I have often gotten this response: “I am not racist, but I don’t know how good I feel about a BLACK person being our president, he was okay as a Senator though”. Also, the assumption that he is Muslim, or an Arab, or has a “Muslim”/”Arab” name, is both idiotic and sad at the same time. I have many Catholic and other Christian friends from Middle Eastern countries that have “Muslim” first and last names, who are Christian. Never have been MUSLIM, and neither have their Grandparents, or great grandparents or great great grandparents. What does a name mean? Hold? What is in a name?
Also, what if he was a Muslim? So what? What’s wrong with being an Arab? A Muslim? Lets address the Muslim aspect of this first. What about the American-Muslim child who aspires to be the President someday?? Is that not possible, in a country where they preach freedom and equality? On the account of being Arab…people seem to believe that Arabs look a certain way, and are most probably Muslim. Do anti-Muslim Americans know that there are Arab people who are Christian? There are Arabs who look like Caucasians? Also, that not ALL Arab Muslims are religious extremists and follow the words of Syyid Qutb (the man whose ideas would shape Al Qaeda. Please read his book ‘Milestones’ to learn more), or the Al Qaeda doctrines?? (With all due respect to Christians)I often wonder how these people who dislike anything arab would react if their lord’s son Jesus Christ were to descend from the heavens. Would they believe he were the son of god? Would they believe anything he says? Or would they condemn him for looking like an “arab”/”jew”/”israelite”? Because for sure, Jesus Christ was not a white skinned ‘Aryan’, with thin light brown hair. The chances of him having light eyes, let alone blue are quite slim (http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/basic/christ/physical_appearance.htm, http://www.thenazareneway.com/likeness_of_our_saviour.htm, http://www.jesuscentral.com/ji/questions/how/describe_the_physical_appearance_and_generally_how_174.php ) That reminds me, the Ku Klux Klan (the circle clan, founded in TN, 1865), was an all protestant, white cult which had a few leaders who were previously Reverends, who used the lords name to execute hatred, suffering and even death upon anyone who was catholic, black, Jewish and other foreigners. When members of the Klan would burn crosses they would play ‘amazing grace’. What a shame. Now, are these people ignorant? Uneducated? Or correct in what they believe?

The term ‘nigger’ was historically used to describe people of African origin, but also means “an unlearned person”. If these people mentioned above were not ‘unlearned’, then what were they? I do not think that word should be a part of anyone’s vocabulary whether they are white or black. I am very sad to see that people have started using this word again as the election nears (in hatred). I do not think it is right under ANY circumstances. I was called an “N***** lover” last week for supporting Obama by two individuals who claimed that I was too ‘hot’ to support him. They went on to justify how it was okay for them to use the word so loosely. I may not be of African decent, but it does offend me. I do not take racism lightly. When my mother was a little child living in England she was spat on by Skinheads. They told her “Paki, go home!” As a child she didn’t understand, and when she learnt why she was afraid and felt less fortunate for not being ‘white’. That was not the only story that led me to my disappointment.
Isn’t there enough hatred in this world, why hate someone for being another color? Darker people have extra melanin in their skin that ensures protection from the sun as they live closer to the equator. Is that so bad? Can that not be understood?
I would be more understanding of this sort of hatred if racist people were from a third world or a less fortunate country. This is America!! This is a first world country!! This county grants citizen with free or affordable education!! How can educated people think like this?
I am also distraught on how there is a double standard in society. Talking “black” or in ‘Ebonics’ is looked down upon by middle class America. I think that most minorities have to work so hard to gain respect in society. Some examples of these double standards are: Laura Bush talking with a southern accent vs. (if) the Obama’s were to use Black Vernacular or have a “black” accent. Somehow people believe that having a southern accent is more acceptable than speaking in a “black” fashion. Therefore, “ya’ll” and Palin’s famous “you betcha’ (Wink)” is still okay!
Palin’s large family is looked at as “normal” or “average”. Most ‘average Americans’ are NOT known to have five children. Maybe a few years ago, but not today. I wonder if Obama would be considered to be a “typical Black person” had he had five children (?).
Also, if he had a 17year old daughter who was pregnant, would that have been seen as “typically black”? But people seem to be very accepting of Palin’s daughter Bristol’s pregnancy.
How about Cindy McCain’s drug addiction for three years? She lied to doctors, made up fake medical needs for prescriptions to attain pain killers to use it HERSLEF. Where is her penalty? We know that celebrities get lenient sentences,… what if Michelle Obama were to have tricked doctors to get drugs for her own drug addiction, what would middle class America think of that?

I cannot relate to this double standard. I cannot relate to “average Joe” or the “Joe six-pack” talk given by Gov. Sarah Palin. Why are we lowering our standard, the idea of conservativeness & the idea of an average American??? Do most average Americans have pregnant daughters? Do Average Americans believe that an eighteen year old is ready to be a mommy and a wife? Do Average Americans believe that it’s okay for an individual’s grandchild and child be a little over a year apart? Do Average Americans believe that they MUST buy designer clothes to LOOK GOOD?? Do they think that JC penny’s is not good enough? Really???

I’ll tell you what, the day I was informed that Palin made rape victims’ in the state of Alaska pay for their own rape kits, sent a cold chill down my spine. Who would support that?
I will now state why I am supporting Obama, and why I shall NEVER elect neither McCain nor Sarah Palin to office. A VP is a step away from being president, and if anything were to happen to McCain…Sarah Palin is not fit to be president. Also, McCain’s lapse of judgment caused me to question what other decisions he may make to satisfy certain requirements. She could not name ONE newspaper/magazine she reads. She was wrong at stating the JOB DESCRIPTION of the VP position (Chris Matthews, Hardball CNN). She cannot name ONE Supreme Court ruling she disagrees with. What about Plessey v. Fergusson!?!?!? That’s one we all learn in American High school. I went to American high school for a year and a half and learnt at least that much! Running for VP of the country? Sad !! How can we rely on her? It also does not help to know that their partnership in this race is not working out very well, considering that their aides have been having a hard time getting along with one another.

I have felt strongly about Sarah Palin, since she spoke of rape victims and how they must not be able to have an abortion, also they must pay for their own rape kits (about approx. $200). I do not think she shows ANY sort of support to victims, or to their suffering.

I am a rape victim. This had happened to me in 2003, shortly after I had moved back to the US (moved here Nov. 2002). I was a virgin. I was not dating the guy who had taken my virginity against my will. I was too small to fight back (I am 5’2”, and at the time less than 100 lbs). I was brutally raped, beaten, with a gun held to my head, later drugged (after I begged for my life). I was also threatened not to tell anyone. I came home that night thankful to be alive, having the opportunity to see my loved ones maybe for the last time, and to bid them farewell before possibly ending my life, before HE came back. I did not know how to tell my culturally conservative Indian family about what had just happened to me. Also, such incidents are not really heard of in the Indian community. “Sex” is not casually talked about in our culture. I did not know what to do. The many fears in my heart, one of which was possibly getting pregnant urged me to attempt suicide. So I did. The blow dryer gave out, it didn’t work. I lived. The next day, due to my sickened, sad, scared, disturbed state of my mind, I told two friends, which later led to telling higher authorities in the school. My mother was informed. I was taken to the Nord center, Lorain OH (rape crisis center), where the rape kit was performed and I had moral support too. That was a blessing to me. I had hope to live. I was given the day after pill. The evidence was gathered, and I had a victim’s advocate who was there for emotional support.

Now, what would have happened had my parents never found out? I would have probably killed myself, since I did not know about ‘planned parenthood’, the rape crisis center, or anything about the justice system or emergency rooms services, since I hadn’t lived in the United States for that long. I am not ashamed to tell my story. I would never want any woman, or anyone’s wife, mother or child to go through what I have been through. I also speak for many Indian, Arab, Muslim,…,woman from culturally conservative backgrounds. I know of some who have been raped by family members whose parents STILL know nothing about it. Fortunately they have not had to bear the burden of pregnancy since they were raped before puberty. Still that DOES NOT MAKE IT RIGHT OR OKAY.
I don’t think that a rape victim should have to bear the burden of being a mother to a child, if they had not intended to consent to sex. If sex had been enforced on them, there is no need for the victim to give up goals in life to be a mother. I believe that they must have the right to choose. This is one of the most compelling reasons why Republican Sarah Palin, the hockey MOM will not get my vote. Senator McCain has taken a ‘cheap decision” in choosing Sarah Palin without a detailed due diligence and that is certainly WRONG JUDGEMENT. Hence, he will not be getting my vote for President of this great nation. I respect Senator McCain for all the great things he has done in the past, but from the RNC – convention – he has demonstrated wrong judgment in more than one occasions.

I am currently an agnostic. I lost faith, and was an atheist shortly after the incident mentioned above. Sometimes to the point to where it may have reached blasphemy (not in the literal sense, but I hated ‘god’ for not being there for me). I am trying to give the bible a chance since I am dating a lovely boy who has strong faith. Of course, I would ideally like to share the same faith or even a little close. Even if I were to be a Christian someday, I would always leave room for people of other religions. I don’t think it’s all about ME, and what I believe in. I’m sure there are other people who believe that the Koran or the Gita,…etc is the word of god. I am also sure that those people do not seek to be ‘saved’. Therefore, I disagree with the Christian fundamentalists who try to control the governance of this great country. I do understand how these people (with all due respect to Christianity—since not all religious people are the same) can support a war in a foreign country. Defense is different than WAR. Killing living people yet trying to save ‘unborn’ children? Makes no sense. (In no way do I support abortions to be used as a form of contraception; in fact I believe that it is an awful form of concealment, to cover up a mishap. Although I still feel that just because I FEEL it is wrong doesn’t mean that other woman who think different can’t make the choice to support it or have an abortion).

After much research I have come to the conclusion that racism exists, but it is a miniscule population. Even though it is disturbing and disappointing to be still present, I am thankful we have moved forward. More Americans are accepting of different racial, ethnic and religious citizens. I find myself grateful for the movement away from the past of emerging neo-Nazism and KKK groups. (44% of white voters are currently supporting Obama).

Just an observation: the crowd gathered to hear Barack Obama is beautiful, colorful, and full of character. THAT I BELIEVE is AMERICA. Blacks, whites, Hispanics, Indians, Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, Europeans, Christians, Jews, Jains, Buddhists,…….Sikhs(with turbans), Muslims, homosexuals, the rich, poor, labor unions, celebrities,…. Yes, that’s the AMERICA I want to live in. That’s the America id like to see. That’s the America that has room for EVERYBODY.
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

I am not trying to tell anyone that this is the right way to vote. These are just my thoughts on issues lingering on my mind. I just thought I would share them with people, especially since I have voiced my strong opinions on this election on facebook. I respect how people feel, but these are my reasons for voting in this direction.

LONG LIVE – THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA