The One Heart Way

If you read my previous blog about what happened to me, you must have wondered, so what did she do after that? How did she go on? There would be many questions.

First off- I told someone, and that someone helped me find help. Especially since, abuse leads a women to lose self respect, looks for self-deprecation. This is because of all things the woman blames herself, and self worth plummets. She believes she deserves this abuse, and unknowingly seeks out more abuse. It is hard to break the cycle. I think once we identify victims of childhood molestation, abuse, and rape, we must intervene with confidence boosting therapy/ help to break the cycle. I was lucky to have a few great mentors/counselors along the way. Unlearn being the victim, and focus on building the self once again.

Second - I refused to ever feel helpless like that again. I promised myself I would never get "drunk" with anyone I do not utterly trust. So, honestly, I get drunk only if i am home, with my parents, or with my boyfriend (who would have had to earn my trust). Also I always make sure there is a designated driver (drinking and driving is so dangerous, please always have a DD).If I am ever at a club again I will always buy my drink from the bartender and watch him make my drink. Never accepting drinks from any guy I don't know, anymore. If you don't drink alcohol, good for you, but remember, roofies/other "date-rape" drugs, could be mixed with your non-alcoholic beverages too, so beware.

After my sister's incident, she and I both began learning Kwanmukan Karate. However as children we both  learnt basic self defense from Shihan Hussaini. This was my first introduction to Isshin-ryu Karate. Then I picked it up again in 2007 here. I practice it non-competitively since I do this for me. My Sensei is slowly teaching me how to spar. Isshin-ryu means a lot to me, because my Sensei not only taught us how to defend ourselves, but the history of Karate, discipline, helping out in the Dojo, being good to ourselves, becoming fit, reminding us to drink water, it is more than fighting...It's the meaning behind it all.  A meaning, a code that must not be taken lightly. The philosophy is the base of all forms of martial arts, including this form of karate, which stem from various regions of the East, for Isshin-ryu, it stems from the Ryu-Kyu Islands of Okinawa (Japan), are truly eye opening- simple but profound (like most eastern philosophy). Isshin-ryu stands for - The One Heart Way (literal), but meaning - the way of the one heart.. the story goes on to say we all have one beating heart. So I will fight you if I must, but the choice is yours. Although I may have mace, or some sort of self-defense tool, I now have my empty hands,for they are learned in "the way". I maybe no black belt, but the first rule is ... avoid conflict at all costs, run! I talk to my Sensei about this and many scenarios, and he is very strong, so I always think its the best way to practice.

Third - Always be alert when walking in an unknown place, or at night. Don't let your guard down even if it is in your own neighborhood (see Kitty Genovese). Be ready, be alert, remember what you could use to defend yourself.

Fourth - working on "ME" has helped mend me, my confidence, self esteem and my heart and soul. I learned to be more conscious, and give love, forgive, and let the light flow. I think this healing came from my sister, who has a crazier story than mine. Thought younger, she has learned so much in such a short time. She is my hero. Find a way to heal, spiritually. It is very important, for the spirit is what is ripped open, no matter what happens to the body. (I honestly wish I could refer my sister to people who need this help, she does have an awesome organization called Conscious Culture). Meditation, art, writing, music, yoga, dance... are all creative outlets to

I am glad though I can take care of myself, and I now know that "No means No". I know what sexual harassment is, and I let people know when they have crossed the threshold. I am glad I grew out of my drinking-partying-clubbing stage, and have grown up to be interested in a different type of night life (camping, star gazing...). However I never forget the things I learned, especially since I travel to different places.

I also never forget to breathe...

The Goddess/ Megami the symbol for Isshin-ryu Karate

Not Lost in Translation

After much reflection, I am finally ready to write about the wonderful country of Japan.

The realization of me going to Japan, the country I longed to go to, the country I studied about in geography, martial arts, anime, people/friends, singing class etc... had not sunk in. I did not believe it, would not believe it until I set foot in Tokyo.

My dad, boss, and travel partner asked me why I was not excited, as it was both of our first times going there. I acted nonchalant and tired, but inside I was excited. Inwardly, I was collecting and priming all the information I knew about this country - geography, language, cultural nuances...etc. I should have been born Japanese; I have dabbled and obsessed of all cultures around the world: I love people, places, language, culture... of all types. It is fascinating.

On the plane, it was the old type of 747, with TV only on the top of the cabin. We flew to the west coast from where we followed the west coast up to Canadian west coast, Alaska, and the Kamchatka peninsula down over to the Japanese Archipelago. There it was Shikoku, Kyushu, Honshu and Hokkaido, the four main islands of Japan. There was Narita International Airport; we landed. We were here. It was still an hour to Tokyo and I was exhausted, however our Japanese colleague was meeting us there. I was unsure as we suddenly didn't have working cell phones, did not know the language, disoriented, did not know the place... I was a foreigner in a foreign land! He was there though, sure enough, waiting, with a very welcoming smile. I was so pleased to see him. It was familiarity, a friend, in an unknown land. I welcomed it and embraced it.

When we reached the hotel, I was eager to rest, shower, however now we were on official business, so 5 minutes in the room, then we go for dinner. Lucky for me drinking sake was a custom in Japanese business. We had great food, which was highly exotic, however I do not recollect through the haze of jetlag and lots of sake! I rested well on an extra firm bed, and a very special pillow which had some rice/beans/beads in it. I have never slept that well in my life! I want that bed, and pillow back.

The toilet was exceptional - it was so interactive - there was a bidet - spray for the front and the back. There was a dryer, there was a toilet seat warmer, there was a constant flushing noise, there was different spray levels, I forget what else there was. However it was the best experience ever, and I wish we, in oh so developed USA would have that too. If only.

In Tokyo, everyone stands on the right in the escalators letting the people in a hurry pass on the left. People keep the city, public places, everywhere clean just out of common - civic sense. The people never show negative emotions in public, perhaps very rarely if so. This might seem oppressive, but it is just the way they are. It's the discipline they follow. It is just their culture.

Sometimes I really missed rocking out to rock music, and just dancing, but when do I ever do that here? I was on constant business mode, and having to "behave", this is hard for me to do, so I was on edge at times. On the edge of just bursting into song, or going loco in public... I imagine I was an oddity in general, as I usually am anyway. However I did enjoy the tranquility that came with this culture, discipline etc. When we went to visit a temple in Tokyo, and a little garden that accompanied it; it was just beautiful, and peaceful. I never felt or saw anything like it.

The food, and our hosts were exceptional, and the business went better than planned by everyone. In the end nothing was lost in translation, it was at times difficult, but with a smile, gestures and basic Japanese words one can get by. I learned that knowing the words for "bathroom" "food" and "water" are the most important. In fact enacting "bathroom" is so difficult to a person who has no idea what - loo, restroom, toilets, washroom, bathroom, shower means... After quite a bit of gesturing she understood, (I enacted washing my face, brushing my teeth, and then I was gesturing sitting down to potty, and then she got it!).

 The people in restaurants are so happy, even early in the mornings... I was so curious about this "happiness" all the time phenomena, however it was explained to me that "would you want to go to a restaurant and receive bad service?" The answer is, obviously not, but all over the world it happens. However in Japan it doesn't as far as I experienced. Also despite the awesome and pleasant service, no one tips. Coming back to USA, it is so hard to tip, when service is usually sub par. I wish I could express here how I was greeted, and how huge the smiles of everyone was, but some of the pictures would hopefully depict that.

Everything is seen to perfection. Everything is perfect as seen in the food served below. Its not only delicious but looks good, tastes good, and served in pleasant atmosphere. So this is what zen eating is.

It was in all an awesome experience. I would go back any day!If you can, GO THERE!

Sashimi

Sashimi almost every night

Yummy fish!

Me in Tokyo!

Friends!

My new friends and Japanese photo booth!

Hiro and I!

Gozaimasu!

Japan:

the place I have searched for all my life...

love...

peace...



...breathe!



Home is where the heart is... I feel at home! Yet I know my home is the world, for there, truthfully, is my heart.

The world is beautiful... when you give up... the game ends! so don't give up, there is beauty yet to be seen, if you know where to search. search well. search hard!