If you read my previous blog about what happened to me, you must have wondered, so what did she do after that? How did she go on? There would be many questions.
First off- I told someone, and that someone helped me find help. Especially since, abuse leads a women to lose self respect, looks for self-deprecation. This is because of all things the woman blames herself, and self worth plummets. She believes she deserves this abuse, and unknowingly seeks out more abuse. It is hard to break the cycle. I think once we identify victims of childhood molestation, abuse, and rape, we must intervene with confidence boosting therapy/ help to break the cycle. I was lucky to have a few great mentors/counselors along the way. Unlearn being the victim, and focus on building the self once again.
Second - I refused to ever feel helpless like that again. I promised myself I would never get "drunk" with anyone I do not utterly trust. So, honestly, I get drunk only if i am home, with my parents, or with my boyfriend (who would have had to earn my trust). Also I always make sure there is a designated driver (drinking and driving is so dangerous, please always have a DD).If I am ever at a club again I will always buy my drink from the bartender and watch him make my drink. Never accepting drinks from any guy I don't know, anymore. If you don't drink alcohol, good for you, but remember, roofies/other "date-rape" drugs, could be mixed with your non-alcoholic beverages too, so beware.
After my sister's incident, she and I both began learning Kwanmukan Karate. However as children we both learnt basic self defense from Shihan Hussaini. This was my first introduction to Isshin-ryu Karate. Then I picked it up again in 2007 here. I practice it non-competitively since I do this for me. My Sensei is slowly teaching me how to spar. Isshin-ryu means a lot to me, because my Sensei not only taught us how to defend ourselves, but the history of Karate, discipline, helping out in the Dojo, being good to ourselves, becoming fit, reminding us to drink water, it is more than fighting...It's the meaning behind it all. A meaning, a code that must not be taken lightly. The philosophy is the base of all forms of martial arts, including this form of karate, which stem from various regions of the East, for Isshin-ryu, it stems from the Ryu-Kyu Islands of Okinawa (Japan), are truly eye opening- simple but profound (like most eastern philosophy). Isshin-ryu stands for - The One Heart Way (literal), but meaning - the way of the one heart.. the story goes on to say we all have one beating heart. So I will fight you if I must, but the choice is yours. Although I may have mace, or some sort of self-defense tool, I now have my empty hands,for they are learned in "the way". I maybe no black belt, but the first rule is ... avoid conflict at all costs, run! I talk to my Sensei about this and many scenarios, and he is very strong, so I always think its the best way to practice.
Third - Always be alert when walking in an unknown place, or at night. Don't let your guard down even if it is in your own neighborhood (see Kitty Genovese). Be ready, be alert, remember what you could use to defend yourself.
Fourth - working on "ME" has helped mend me, my confidence, self esteem and my heart and soul. I learned to be more conscious, and give love, forgive, and let the light flow. I think this healing came from my sister, who has a crazier story than mine. Thought younger, she has learned so much in such a short time. She is my hero. Find a way to heal, spiritually. It is very important, for the spirit is what is ripped open, no matter what happens to the body. (I honestly wish I could refer my sister to people who need this help, she does have an awesome organization called Conscious Culture). Meditation, art, writing, music, yoga, dance... are all creative outlets to
I am glad though I can take care of myself, and I now know that "No means No". I know what sexual harassment is, and I let people know when they have crossed the threshold. I am glad I grew out of my drinking-partying-clubbing stage, and have grown up to be interested in a different type of night life (camping, star gazing...). However I never forget the things I learned, especially since I travel to different places.
I also never forget to breathe...
First off- I told someone, and that someone helped me find help. Especially since, abuse leads a women to lose self respect, looks for self-deprecation. This is because of all things the woman blames herself, and self worth plummets. She believes she deserves this abuse, and unknowingly seeks out more abuse. It is hard to break the cycle. I think once we identify victims of childhood molestation, abuse, and rape, we must intervene with confidence boosting therapy/ help to break the cycle. I was lucky to have a few great mentors/counselors along the way. Unlearn being the victim, and focus on building the self once again.
Second - I refused to ever feel helpless like that again. I promised myself I would never get "drunk" with anyone I do not utterly trust. So, honestly, I get drunk only if i am home, with my parents, or with my boyfriend (who would have had to earn my trust). Also I always make sure there is a designated driver (drinking and driving is so dangerous, please always have a DD).If I am ever at a club again I will always buy my drink from the bartender and watch him make my drink. Never accepting drinks from any guy I don't know, anymore. If you don't drink alcohol, good for you, but remember, roofies/other "date-rape" drugs, could be mixed with your non-alcoholic beverages too, so beware.
After my sister's incident, she and I both began learning Kwanmukan Karate. However as children we both learnt basic self defense from Shihan Hussaini. This was my first introduction to Isshin-ryu Karate. Then I picked it up again in 2007 here. I practice it non-competitively since I do this for me. My Sensei is slowly teaching me how to spar. Isshin-ryu means a lot to me, because my Sensei not only taught us how to defend ourselves, but the history of Karate, discipline, helping out in the Dojo, being good to ourselves, becoming fit, reminding us to drink water, it is more than fighting...It's the meaning behind it all. A meaning, a code that must not be taken lightly. The philosophy is the base of all forms of martial arts, including this form of karate, which stem from various regions of the East, for Isshin-ryu, it stems from the Ryu-Kyu Islands of Okinawa (Japan), are truly eye opening- simple but profound (like most eastern philosophy). Isshin-ryu stands for - The One Heart Way (literal), but meaning - the way of the one heart.. the story goes on to say we all have one beating heart. So I will fight you if I must, but the choice is yours. Although I may have mace, or some sort of self-defense tool, I now have my empty hands,for they are learned in "the way". I maybe no black belt, but the first rule is ... avoid conflict at all costs, run! I talk to my Sensei about this and many scenarios, and he is very strong, so I always think its the best way to practice.
Third - Always be alert when walking in an unknown place, or at night. Don't let your guard down even if it is in your own neighborhood (see Kitty Genovese). Be ready, be alert, remember what you could use to defend yourself.
Fourth - working on "ME" has helped mend me, my confidence, self esteem and my heart and soul. I learned to be more conscious, and give love, forgive, and let the light flow. I think this healing came from my sister, who has a crazier story than mine. Thought younger, she has learned so much in such a short time. She is my hero. Find a way to heal, spiritually. It is very important, for the spirit is what is ripped open, no matter what happens to the body. (I honestly wish I could refer my sister to people who need this help, she does have an awesome organization called Conscious Culture). Meditation, art, writing, music, yoga, dance... are all creative outlets to
I am glad though I can take care of myself, and I now know that "No means No". I know what sexual harassment is, and I let people know when they have crossed the threshold. I am glad I grew out of my drinking-partying-clubbing stage, and have grown up to be interested in a different type of night life (camping, star gazing...). However I never forget the things I learned, especially since I travel to different places.
I also never forget to breathe...
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| The Goddess/ Megami the symbol for Isshin-ryu Karate |
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