R.E.M. at Jone's Beach, Long Island, 2008

R.E.M. was performing at Jones Beach Amphitheater, Long Island; my close childhood friend called me and told em we were going. So I booked a ticket and flew over to NYC. We met up and decided to spend an hour on the beach before the concert. From Manhattan, to Brooklyn, to the LIRR, to a bus... We finally got to the beach, and then walked to the Amphitheater.

There were a lot of REM fans, all of them traveling from far and wide like Adi and I. Modest Mouse, and The Nationals were the opening bands, and as the night grew darker, the wind from the Atlantic Ocean blew in some crazy clouds. Soon the music was competing with the voices, the guitar, the bass, cymbals, snare drums, and the deep boom of the kick drum bass... oh what a battle of the bands!

The band rushed off the stage when lightning stuck the stage, and the power went off. We were all sitting ducks, in an amphitheater which was made of mostly metal. This huge storm was right on top of us, Modest Mouse was only half done playing, when everyone was evacuated out of the stadium into the parking lot. So where do we go? To our cars? We didn't have a car, we had a friend coming to pick us up later that night. Many people were in the same boat as we were.

People were super nice to each other, and suddenly there were raincoats, and ponchos for sale (where do these people appear from, really!?). Since we were wondering around in the rain, we bought two ponchos and waited to see if R.E.M. would still go on. $100 tickets! We stuck around, soaked from the rain, poor Adi had brought his fancy SLR thingy lens and all, and he couldn't take it in. I had a bag full of wet clothes from the beach, it would have helped if I had more dry clothes. The crowd knew R.E.M. would not desert their fans. I think it was about 2 hours of herding the crowds back in, and out of the building, until R.E.M. got on.We just wanted R.E.M.! They played extra long for us too, although it was mighty late All the awesome songs - Songs from Accelerate, The One I love, Get up, Stand, etc... Michael Stipe spoke to us all, he did a little campaigning for Obama, and gave the loyal audience all the dry t- shirts he and the band still had. There were a lot of Obama 2008 t-shirts he threw out. We stood there as the band played on through the night, as we all stood in the rain. I think the show finally ended at around 1 or 2 am. It was so worth it!

Adi's friend took a while getting to the parking lot, so we sought to see the band leave, but we couldn't find the right bus. Maybe we saw Modest Mouse or The Nationals, I don't remember. At this point I was beat, soaking wet from head to toe, and crashing. Finally Adi's friend picked us up and took us to his place. Strange how there were still special buses running back to the train station at this hour! We got to the friend' place ate, and fell asleep. The next day we parted ways on the LIRR. It was a night to remember! We had so much fun - A musical adventure of its own.

:-)

Before the concert, we enjoy the beach. My second time to the Atlantic Ocean, my first few times were when I was too young to remember! This is my close childhood friend Adi! What silly T-shirt was I wearing :-/

We were almost the first people there!

The Nationals and Modest Mouse opened for R.E.M.

This was Modest Mouse, until it began to storm so bad, and lightning hit the stage and they had to get off the stage.

Finally R.E.M. after the rain kind of cleared out and it was safe for them.

Adi was grumpy cause he couldn't bring his camera into the concert!

This was when we all had to evacuate the amphitheater. But check out the guy behind us! Lol!

Here they perform Orange Crush. One of my favorite songs!

Michael Stipe! He was awesome! I love this guy!

R.E.M. rocks!

Breathe!

6 O 7

I ask my dad what time his flight is...
Dad: 6 O 7 (I hear it as 6 or 7)
Me: what?
Dad: 6:07
Me: 6:07? What kind of time is that?
Dad: I don't know. It is strange. I guess 7 minutes after 6 am?
Me: uhuh.

Almost 30, Unmarried and Undeniably Happy

If I want a white dress, I'll buy myself one, and wear it! Wedding or not.

I never dreamed of my wedding day, dress or anything. In fact I don't even know if I wanted to marry. Babies? Well they drool and puke. Really! Maybe I was wrongly born as a girl. I have always fantasized about sex!


I think I realized I was different when I was a kid and realized at times I had strange thoughts. For example, I was probably 7 or 8 and I was on a swing with my friends, we were all laughing hysterically. I remember this moment so well, because I had a profound thought 'I'm so happy I could die right now, and I would be satisfied not having seen the rest of what life holds.' Then suddenly I realized my spirit self would see my parents crying. I never like seeing my mom cry, it breaks my heart, she is such a wonderful woman and deserves all the happiness in the world. So although I was OK with dying, I decided it was not right. I asked a close friend during a sleepover what she thought and she told I had some strange ideas and I should not think that way.

As a child of 9 or 10 years I was heavily influenced by my mom and my aunt. Both very strong Indian women, they showed me what it was like to be a modern woman. A woman who goes beyond being just seen and not heard - a woman with a voice. A woman who isn't just a pretty face but a brain as sharp as a sword. I was encouraged and pushed to branch out my knowledge base, to research, to hold opinions on issues... they helped me grow.

Another girl (now woman) who inspired me was a fellow class mate. She was always head-strong, down to earth, logical and practical; her solutions to problems/situations were simple yet it was the truth. We would sometimes talk about what we wanted when we grew up and we discussed at a small age that "marriage" was not really our thing. It might be other people's thing, but we had a different path, although we would definitely like to have a life partner. I forgot about this discussion until recently when she reminded me of it once again. WE had many such profound discussions on religion, atheism, agnosticism, spirituality, life, death, children, women, the world, careers... we were just children then. I wish we could sit and talk now and see if our perspectives have changed. We definitely decided to be as open minded as possible.

Anyway here I am almost 30 and not married. Everyone keeps asking me why I am not married yet, when I plan to marry... And I ask so want to ask "Why should I?" I do not, because I realize getting married and having children is a societal, cultural norm of the world. It is not always pushed upon a man, as much as it is expected of a woman. Most people would not understand my point of view, because it is what we women want, correct? To get married, settle down and have children.

I do not think less of woman who want that. Yes, many older women including my mother, and women my age have told me that getting married and having children is so full-filling, I will regret it someday. However my life has not been perfect, and I do not regret any decisions I have made; I may look back and think I could have chosen wiser, but I am always grateful for the now, and not look back in anger or despair. I do wish people who get married and settle down all the happiness, sometimes I am almost convinced by their happiness that I want that too. Then I remember ME, and maybe it is selfishness in some people's eyes, but I remember that is not what I want. I want more.

People tell me I can have "more" being married, and having children. They do not understand that their road is not my road. I just don't want to take that route. I want to go this other route. I don't want pity, I have a healthy and happy relationship. Lately everyone is talking about the War on Men a rant by a woman by the name of Suzanne Venkar, who says men don't want to marry because women are not women anymore. If women want to get married they need to "submit to their femininity". Yeah well maybe those men need to change their attitudes, and maybe woman need to realize "stuff". And this CNN reporter states it the way I thought it "But she is actually arguing that if men aren't happy, it's women's fault -- for seeking the very same exhilarating sense of autonomy and selfhood that men claim as our natural entitled birthright. How dare they?" (See the full article at The Mythical 'War on men'). Well am so grateful for this guys article, because pretty much states in a round about way, that if men don't want to get married, neither do women.

I am lucky to have a caring boyfriend who wishes me to be strong, to be highly motivated, in fact that is what he wants in a woman. We balance each other out, we share chores whether they are "feminine" duties, or manly duties. We communicate clearly, and cultivate trust and honesty. I now know I have male friends who want more "feminine" women. In fact maybe they are scared of bold woman such as myself. Women like us can not be "controlled". Most men like control... come on man up and admit it! Anyway, although I have this lovely man in my life, I don't see other than financially, what other good marriage will do for us? Will it stop either of us from cheating? Will it prevent illness? If you have a very good logical and practical answer which differs from everything anyone has told me, I would like to hear it.

Concluding as my relatives, elders, and society can not plainly see that for me growing, doing good for the world, having a healthy loving relationship with my man, and just being happy, are enough. I don't know how to explain it to them or make them all see, so I have given up trying to explain. So this is why I am writing this. On the other hand I would like some respect... from society. Quit it! Stop it! Stop with all nagging, the pressure, the questions, the wondering if I am lesbian (and even if I am - SO WHAT?), worrying if I will be OK or happy... There's war in Palestine and Israel and you are worried about me getting married. There's an economic crisis and unemployment and you are worried about the man I am dating. The world is about to seize existing on Dec 20th and you want to worry about MY future! Laughable! It's my life!!! I'm not telling you how to live yours, stop telling me how to live mine!


Breathe!

In a country, in a world where we can be whoever we want to be... I want to be ME! Happy!

So Adding this after I read what George Takei wrote about marriage equality and same sex marriages:
"The core value of marriage is two people who love each other and are committed to each other. It isn’t necessarily defined by gender… You want security for your spouse, whatever may happen, and our laws do not provide that. We want security for when we should pass. I can give you an example: we had friends—it’s past tense now—in Washington, D.C. They’d been together for over a decade. One partner went out of town on a business trip, came back, opened his apartment door and his partner was on the floor…died of a heart attack in his absence. The deceased partner’s relative was a lawyer-brother in Boston from whom he had been estranged. He came and took everything. The laws were against the one that spent more life…They shared their lives and their fortune, yet he lost it all. So this grieving partner lost not only the love of his life, but everything they had built together. There’s that kind of injustice. And this kind of legalistic barrier that we insist on putting up is, to me, unfathomable. In the case of our being incarcerated during the Second World War, we looked different—visually identifiable. But in the case of homophobia, we are literally members of a family. We are sons and daughters of heterosexual parents. We are brothers and sisters. We are literally kin, blood kin. And yet to deny the LGBT member of a family the same legal protections and rights that they enjo…It’s irrational."

It's the only pros/ benefits I see of getting married. Personally I can find the value between two people who love each other and be committed to them despite Jake Gyllenhaal throwing himself at me, without marriage. (Whoa two celebrity references). Yes though in the case of disease and death this marriage goes hand in hand with the law, and thus is handy.

Sunday Work Out

This was a super busy weekend, but ate healthy the whole time.

We went out and got some semi healthy groceries - Jewish Rye Bread, cold cut turkey, pepper jack cheese (probably not the healthiest), fruits (grapes, pomegranate, strawberries - too ripe), salmon, potatoes, onions, tomatoes, carrots, lemon and milk (rice milk and normal 2% milk). This would be our food for a few days.
We had a sandwich with the rye, meat, cheese and mustard that day, and shopped the rest of the day, walking fast through crowds since we wanted to get home soon. Although they say shopping does help burn calories but is not exercise, this was super exhausting.
We rested for a bit and then went to my dad's house for dinner. Later we played X box Kinect adventures which was super fun and a lot of exercise. I think we like the rafting thing a lot.

Sunday we went to the gym around 4 and worked out for 1 and a half hours- we walked a mile or so, and worked on our abs, legs and glutes.
Walking .5 miles first. Began slowly, then gradually picked up the pace.
We took a break and did stretches, by squatting. this stretched out the toes, feet, Achilles's tendon,Calves, and Ham. kind of like the guys below. yep they are worker guys in China taking a break. We also see this in India a lot. One wouldn't think it was an exercise, but it is great for the body. remember to keep your back straight, shoulders and neck relaxed, and use your legs.

 Then we did this stretch:

Side bends:

Hold each side for about 60 counts, then do the variation below.

Trikonasana

Side bends help stretch, but also help work out the side love handles... which all us women love so much :-/
Hold this pose for about 60 counts. So let's burn those love handles off and shape the body!

We then got down on the mat to do some abs:

Ryan stood on my feet to keep me stable, while doing the sit ups. From being on your back to sitting up positing. With a small twist to this boring old exercise, which gives amazing results. Then we got a 1 kg ball to pass back and forth while doing the sit up. This helps keep your mind off the work, the burn of the sit up and on the ball, which will otherwise smack your face. Great tactic. We did 3 sets of 10 reps (repetitions), and with the two types of sit ups working upper and lower abs. The second type of sit up was a smaller movement, just reaching directly up (instead of forward to sitting position):

This is kind of more straight up movement than forward to sitting up right. It is a small movement getting only your shoulder blades, upper back, neck and head off the ground, than a full sit up.

Then we did leg lifts. Yeah. those, however we made it interesting by changing it up. Ryan stood by my head, so I could grab his ankles to stabilize myself. Then when i would do a leg lift and my feet would be in front of him, he would firmly push it away in any direction, left, right, or forward. Keeping it random, this helps work out all the different ab muscles.


Then we set off to do legs. We went to this awful  machine, as below in the picture, and loaded it with 45 lb weights on each side (90 lbs total), but the bar itself. In the picture this guy has his neck and head raised, it should be relaxed. So this is like doing a squat, however in this position your back is straight, and gravity is pulling the ground toward you.

We 3 sets of ten reps. Ryan had to put on three 45lb weights on both sides (lifting 270 lbs total); now everyone does not have to be this macho to start off with! Remember what you do today you will feel and ache tomorrow.

Then I bench pressed a bar which was mighty heavy for me. I did 2 sets of 8.

We completed walking a little more than half a mile and called it a night. Yes we are both really sore today. All the sets I did, Ryan did with weights or some other advanced variation. When I am able to do that level again I will write about it. Till then I am taking it slow and steady.

Breathe!

Let's Get Healthy

It's time to get back in shape, for me, at least.

I have had some health issues for a quite a few months now, as a result I have gained weight, have high blood pressure, and haven't been able to do the active things I love doing. I don't want to go into details of the nature of the health issue, but I am sure many of you are aware, and dealing with a family crisis back in India. The weight gain has been due to hormonal imbalances, organs not working right, and depression as a result of pain, and hormones. In order for the body to function exercise is important, however if you are in so much pain you can't move (which I have experienced), exercise is difficult. So the hormonal imbalance, Pain, and lack of exercise (doing things I love), all result in inability to burn fat, calories. Also when you are in that state, you don't really want to eat healthy.

For  the next couple of months I will blog about how to get back into shape to hike, yoga, climb, dance, and run. Get into that peak physical condition - shape, cardiovascular, muscular, mental level which I had but a year ago. I am starting from ground zero and with astounding high blood pressure (side effect of meds? Doc is working with me to narrow the cause). If you want to get into shape and do things like biking 40 miles etc. stick with me and hopefully by spring we should be in shape (hopefully sooner, for I long to go back country hiking and camping this winter).

First off I am totally cleaning up my diet - low sodium, which means mostly cooking at home, using fresh ingredients- VEGGIES! Researching (Wikipedia/Google) the nutrition of the ingredients, adding little to zero salt. Using spices for flavoring, and not eating out as much.
I will have some alcohol (beer, wine) on weekends. I never indulge in caffeine other than Earl Grey.
Eating lots of fruits.
Oh did I mention this miraculous but nasty thing called Oatmeal? It helps reduce blood pressure among other things, it is so good for weight loss, but after eating it for 3 years (when I lived at home) it just sounds kind of gross to me. Yes lots and lots of oatmeal.

Starting off these next few weeks: slow and easy Yoga and Pilates, walking or elliptical for 30 minutes to an hour, some light weights to get the arms and back, back in shape, and breathing exercises (Kapalbhati - I learnt it at the Sivananda Yoga Center, Chennai, Google or ask me to learn more and see if it is right for you).

During the work day: watch posture, walk as much as you can, drink lots of water (yes I forget this simple task) and let's not forget sneaking in some... OATMEAL!

 Breathe!