Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Florida April 2013
Day 1 - Delray Beach and Cuban dinner in Boynton Beach
Day 2 - Loxahatchee National Wildlife Refuge, Pool, and dinner at Johnny Long Boat, celebrating Ryan's birthday, and walk on the beach at night
Day 3 - Seaquarium Miami, Beach, and dinner at Versailles
Day 4 - Kayaking at Loxahatchee Riverbend Park, Pool, and dinner at Delray Beach, Deck 84 second birthday celebration, Kilwin's Ice Cream, and adventures in Delray
Day 5 - Butterfly World, Fort Lauderdale, dinner at Mellow Mushroom in City Place - West Palm Beach, adventures on Clematis Ave.
Day 6 - Beach day - Boynton Beach, movie, and dinner at Two Georges
Day 7 - Sunrise at Delray Beach, Brunch at Tropical Smoothie, and back home
Trip 2 Plans:
1 - snorkel the reef
2 - open airboat ride through the everglades
3 - taste more florida beer (it's truly yummy)
4 - see the keys (key largo to key west) and camp there
5 - camp in the everglades national park
6 - see more Miami city
7 - eat more seafood (not fried)
8 - see more gators and sharks
9 - see the painted bunting/ more birdwatching
10 - more time with friends
11 - see a better sunrise, and maybe even a sunset in the keys
12 - scuba diving
13 - Go to - Royal Palm, Long Pine Key, Pinelands, Flamingo Recreation Area
14- John Pennekamp Coral Reef State Park and Key Largo Hammocks State Botanical Site - snorkeling, kayaking, birding
15 - National Key Deer Refuge- Big Pine Key - Blue hole, Watson Trail
16 - Dry Tortugas National Park - wildlife, and interesting place in general
17 - Big Cypress National Preserve - National Scenic Trail, Tree Snail Hammock Nature Trail, 15 mile loop road scenic drive (camping)
18 - Biscayne National PArk
19 - Bahia Honda State Park
I like parks, it comes naturally!
Day 2 - Loxahatchee National Wildlife Refuge, Pool, and dinner at Johnny Long Boat, celebrating Ryan's birthday, and walk on the beach at night
Day 3 - Seaquarium Miami, Beach, and dinner at Versailles
Day 4 - Kayaking at Loxahatchee Riverbend Park, Pool, and dinner at Delray Beach, Deck 84 second birthday celebration, Kilwin's Ice Cream, and adventures in Delray
Day 5 - Butterfly World, Fort Lauderdale, dinner at Mellow Mushroom in City Place - West Palm Beach, adventures on Clematis Ave.
Day 6 - Beach day - Boynton Beach, movie, and dinner at Two Georges
Day 7 - Sunrise at Delray Beach, Brunch at Tropical Smoothie, and back home
Trip 2 Plans:
1 - snorkel the reef
2 - open airboat ride through the everglades
3 - taste more florida beer (it's truly yummy)
4 - see the keys (key largo to key west) and camp there
5 - camp in the everglades national park
6 - see more Miami city
7 - eat more seafood (not fried)
8 - see more gators and sharks
9 - see the painted bunting/ more birdwatching
10 - more time with friends
11 - see a better sunrise, and maybe even a sunset in the keys
12 - scuba diving
13 - Go to - Royal Palm, Long Pine Key, Pinelands, Flamingo Recreation Area
14- John Pennekamp Coral Reef State Park and Key Largo Hammocks State Botanical Site - snorkeling, kayaking, birding
15 - National Key Deer Refuge- Big Pine Key - Blue hole, Watson Trail
16 - Dry Tortugas National Park - wildlife, and interesting place in general
17 - Big Cypress National Preserve - National Scenic Trail, Tree Snail Hammock Nature Trail, 15 mile loop road scenic drive (camping)
18 - Biscayne National PArk
19 - Bahia Honda State Park
I like parks, it comes naturally!
Vacation and Limiting Social Networking
I went on vacation this past week. My friend challenged me to go this week with viewing and checking into facebook only twice a day before 9 am and after 9 pm only. Only two likes, statuses, and I wanted to keep the picture uploads to the minimum also. I deleted my facebook app completely from my phone, I kept myself signed out from facebook in general. The hardest part was not liking a lot of different stuff, however it has lessened a lot!
I didn't post any pictures, except two or three, and mostly I emailed or texted them to the near and dear people. Sorry if you weren't one of them, but you gotta earn it! Yep it's a new elite club of getting close to pree. Wasn't it that way before the boom of social media, myspace, facebook, and instagram? No one knew you got married unless you were super rich and had the biggest wedding the town ever saw or if you were in with the people big time, but now EVERYONE knows thanks to facebook, if you or your spouse remembers to update. And usually someone does, or someone posts the pictures, its like your own personal paparazzi... I get it, I was super excited about the whole thing, until recently. Until I realized how it was affecting me. So it's a good thing and a bad thing, right now am so glad I am keeping it to a minimum.
I kept my statuses to a minimum, and texted, or emailed if I had to communicate with someone. I think mostly my friend and Ryan posted most of the pictures. Oh I had fun though, and was able to be present more because I didn't worry about other stuff. We caught up with news, weather and the world on tv at night, and well Mandy and Ryan checked Yahoo! everyday. It's popular and a favorite for both of them! At times I did look over their shoulders when they facebooked, but I was mindful! Laying on the beach and doing nothing, not even texting, or scrolling through endless nonsense on the phone. If I needed to know something I would wiki it or wait till I got home, or actually think about it. I got a book to help me with things I was interested in.
My holiday was a success, and my rehab is going pretty well. It's just the beginning, and I have a long way to go. I hope to make it through and become "NORMAL" with the help of family, loved ones and friends. To a more healthy living!
Breathe!
I didn't post any pictures, except two or three, and mostly I emailed or texted them to the near and dear people. Sorry if you weren't one of them, but you gotta earn it! Yep it's a new elite club of getting close to pree. Wasn't it that way before the boom of social media, myspace, facebook, and instagram? No one knew you got married unless you were super rich and had the biggest wedding the town ever saw or if you were in with the people big time, but now EVERYONE knows thanks to facebook, if you or your spouse remembers to update. And usually someone does, or someone posts the pictures, its like your own personal paparazzi... I get it, I was super excited about the whole thing, until recently. Until I realized how it was affecting me. So it's a good thing and a bad thing, right now am so glad I am keeping it to a minimum.
I kept my statuses to a minimum, and texted, or emailed if I had to communicate with someone. I think mostly my friend and Ryan posted most of the pictures. Oh I had fun though, and was able to be present more because I didn't worry about other stuff. We caught up with news, weather and the world on tv at night, and well Mandy and Ryan checked Yahoo! everyday. It's popular and a favorite for both of them! At times I did look over their shoulders when they facebooked, but I was mindful! Laying on the beach and doing nothing, not even texting, or scrolling through endless nonsense on the phone. If I needed to know something I would wiki it or wait till I got home, or actually think about it. I got a book to help me with things I was interested in.
My holiday was a success, and my rehab is going pretty well. It's just the beginning, and I have a long way to go. I hope to make it through and become "NORMAL" with the help of family, loved ones and friends. To a more healthy living!
Breathe!
 |
| Cleaning |
Monday, April 08, 2013
Lessons in Friendship
I am lucky that I have an amazing friend who I can communicate openly too. Actually I have many amazing friends. I feel so blessed. My parents were my first friends, then my sister came along, and gosh was I so glad to have this companion who would grow with me, play with me, and love me because well she had no other choice. Then I began making my own friends... this was tough. I have learnt a lot along the way, and made some very special friends. There's been one special friend who I recently told her "Hey I want to let you know I consider you my best friend. And I worry you don't feel the same way about me. I love you immensely, respect, admire, and cherish your being..." I am glad to know she felt the same.
The key to our friendship is we communicate, share, trust and love deeply and truly. Friendship is as delicate as a rose bush, it requires nurturing, nourishment, care, love, and room to grow. It requires a lot of give and take, it's not a one way act. So both of us are gardeners, both of us are roses. So we talk about our feelings, our actions, the consequences of our actions on others and on each other, and eventually on ourselves. We try to be mindful, but every now and then, we slip. It's human to err, but divine to forgive, as a very famous saying goes. We err, we get hurt, we communicate, and then we forgive. Does anything get healthier than this?
We aren't perfect, there is always room for growth, improvements, and changes... change is the only constant, that is always changing as well. So we keep growing into this lovely friendship of ours. How are we able to be so good at this friendship? We respect each other, see each other as equals, we look up to each other, support each other, and are open and honest with each other. It is easier said than done, it means putting out ego aside, looking at what's deeper than just the mere facade on the outside. It also means becoming humble, and admitting to your mistakes, remember it takes two hands to clap, so there for always keep your side of the road clean. All this can be achieved through mindfulness, meditation, and keeping yourself in check.
Your good friends care about you. Other friends just want to have fun with you, but the good, true friends have fun with you, but also say... "Hey Pree, ok it's time to stop now and take some rest, although we know we could ALL party the night away, we have other responsibilities to take care of the next morning." So friends keep each other in check. Recently a friend stepped up out of nowhere to help me with my Facebook addiction: 2 "statuses" a day. 2 "likes" a day. Logging in only twice a day: once in the morning and once in the evening. She didn't say anything about comments on photos and other people's statuses, but i suppose that must be 2 a day too. The point was, not deleting it entirely, because otherwise I would come back and binge, but disciplining myself to use it less. She understood my problem: "we are CONDITIONED in today's society to respond to messages as soon as they appear. I am. It's my job to respond to messages and emails and voice-mails...so it's just another thing to respond to, Facebook!"
I have been criticized and made fun of by "friends" that I am on facebook too much, having a online problem, but when i try to delete it they say "oh we will miss you". So it becomes a social pressure thing - damned if you do, damned if you don't. We all have a variety of jobs, and the work places have different internet usage policies, ie. back when I used to play the MMO RPG "Lord of the Rings Online", some of my kin friends (online gamer friends in the game, who played and did quests with me) had jobs out in silicon valley programing code, but they could bring their personal laptop in and game on the side. It was even encouraged. They even had a xbox room! I guess they played so much it got boring. Like my friend who decided to help me out said "I totally understand. I sit in front of a computer all day long. It's more out of boredom most days that I end up checking it constantly, and because it's easy to log in and leave it open. Let's challenge ourselves. Let's do it together. I think we can!" So yes some friends realized my problem and were ok with me deleting it, some wanted me to stay on, some mocked me and my job, due to my facebook usage... but out of all the pain comes growth, and wisdom. I thank you all, and myself for this growth and my own understanding to grow from it (Ryan and my dad have been telling me for YEARS now... :-P sometimes it takes more support though).
My friends who mocked me could have been wrong and mean in doing so, however, without it would I have realized how bad my problem was? Am I going to criticize them about something they do wrong to defend my actions and my ego? Or should I just focus on me, my growth, the support I eventually got when I reached out in time of distress, and keeping my side of the road clean? Just things to think about, for me, for you. Healthy relationships and friendships start with you, and being mindful.
Which leads me to the "cool kids" or "good time charlie's" as I had once explained to me. We make a lot of compromises to ourselves and our lives, to be accepted by certain social groups. It is hard to stay true to yourself on occasion. There are always those people, or groups, you may be drawn to, but don't necessarily fit in with. It's always good to find the people who have the best interest for you in their hearts, not someone who makes you look cool on the exterior, just wants to have "big fun" with you. A friend recently told me that they were not up to big groups, but appreciated the on e on one time we shared together. I accept my friends for who they are, their preferences, and I don't feel I need to force them to have fun in large groups with me, but I will make time for them one on one, and maybe even help them get used to big groups, a little bit at a time. Even I have issues coping with big groups sometime. I have made the mistake of neglecting good friends for the "good time charlies" in the past. On the long run, I learned who mattered more to me, the hard way. Through the experience though I have learned who I can count on when I am hit rock bottom, when I am ill, when I am in that dark place of no return, when I am wasted and no one but they will look after me, when I am broke, when my life is changing dramatically, when I make life decisions to pursue a "'dream".... they are there for me, help me, support me, love me, and accept me, understand me... while the cool kids are out having fun. Let them have fun! But I will be there for the person who is there for me, when they are down... as they were there for me...In good times and bad, sickness and health, through love and war!
"Friendship is a gift we give ourselves." - Unknown
"A friend in need is a friend indeed." Aesop's Fables
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” CS Lewis
“Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” Albert Camus
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” Elbert Hubbard
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” Bob Marley
“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” Shakespeare
“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” Hellen Keller
“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.” Aristotle
“I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.” John Katz
“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.” Muhammad Ali
“Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find.” Shakespeare
“Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?” Richard Bach
“Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.” Richard Bach
“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.” Richard Bach
“Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.” Richard Bach
“Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.” Richard Bach
“We teach best what we most need to learn.” Richard Bach
Breathe
The key to our friendship is we communicate, share, trust and love deeply and truly. Friendship is as delicate as a rose bush, it requires nurturing, nourishment, care, love, and room to grow. It requires a lot of give and take, it's not a one way act. So both of us are gardeners, both of us are roses. So we talk about our feelings, our actions, the consequences of our actions on others and on each other, and eventually on ourselves. We try to be mindful, but every now and then, we slip. It's human to err, but divine to forgive, as a very famous saying goes. We err, we get hurt, we communicate, and then we forgive. Does anything get healthier than this?
We aren't perfect, there is always room for growth, improvements, and changes... change is the only constant, that is always changing as well. So we keep growing into this lovely friendship of ours. How are we able to be so good at this friendship? We respect each other, see each other as equals, we look up to each other, support each other, and are open and honest with each other. It is easier said than done, it means putting out ego aside, looking at what's deeper than just the mere facade on the outside. It also means becoming humble, and admitting to your mistakes, remember it takes two hands to clap, so there for always keep your side of the road clean. All this can be achieved through mindfulness, meditation, and keeping yourself in check.
Your good friends care about you. Other friends just want to have fun with you, but the good, true friends have fun with you, but also say... "Hey Pree, ok it's time to stop now and take some rest, although we know we could ALL party the night away, we have other responsibilities to take care of the next morning." So friends keep each other in check. Recently a friend stepped up out of nowhere to help me with my Facebook addiction: 2 "statuses" a day. 2 "likes" a day. Logging in only twice a day: once in the morning and once in the evening. She didn't say anything about comments on photos and other people's statuses, but i suppose that must be 2 a day too. The point was, not deleting it entirely, because otherwise I would come back and binge, but disciplining myself to use it less. She understood my problem: "we are CONDITIONED in today's society to respond to messages as soon as they appear. I am. It's my job to respond to messages and emails and voice-mails...so it's just another thing to respond to, Facebook!"
I have been criticized and made fun of by "friends" that I am on facebook too much, having a online problem, but when i try to delete it they say "oh we will miss you". So it becomes a social pressure thing - damned if you do, damned if you don't. We all have a variety of jobs, and the work places have different internet usage policies, ie. back when I used to play the MMO RPG "Lord of the Rings Online", some of my kin friends (online gamer friends in the game, who played and did quests with me) had jobs out in silicon valley programing code, but they could bring their personal laptop in and game on the side. It was even encouraged. They even had a xbox room! I guess they played so much it got boring. Like my friend who decided to help me out said "I totally understand. I sit in front of a computer all day long. It's more out of boredom most days that I end up checking it constantly, and because it's easy to log in and leave it open. Let's challenge ourselves. Let's do it together. I think we can!" So yes some friends realized my problem and were ok with me deleting it, some wanted me to stay on, some mocked me and my job, due to my facebook usage... but out of all the pain comes growth, and wisdom. I thank you all, and myself for this growth and my own understanding to grow from it (Ryan and my dad have been telling me for YEARS now... :-P sometimes it takes more support though).
My friends who mocked me could have been wrong and mean in doing so, however, without it would I have realized how bad my problem was? Am I going to criticize them about something they do wrong to defend my actions and my ego? Or should I just focus on me, my growth, the support I eventually got when I reached out in time of distress, and keeping my side of the road clean? Just things to think about, for me, for you. Healthy relationships and friendships start with you, and being mindful.
Which leads me to the "cool kids" or "good time charlie's" as I had once explained to me. We make a lot of compromises to ourselves and our lives, to be accepted by certain social groups. It is hard to stay true to yourself on occasion. There are always those people, or groups, you may be drawn to, but don't necessarily fit in with. It's always good to find the people who have the best interest for you in their hearts, not someone who makes you look cool on the exterior, just wants to have "big fun" with you. A friend recently told me that they were not up to big groups, but appreciated the on e on one time we shared together. I accept my friends for who they are, their preferences, and I don't feel I need to force them to have fun in large groups with me, but I will make time for them one on one, and maybe even help them get used to big groups, a little bit at a time. Even I have issues coping with big groups sometime. I have made the mistake of neglecting good friends for the "good time charlies" in the past. On the long run, I learned who mattered more to me, the hard way. Through the experience though I have learned who I can count on when I am hit rock bottom, when I am ill, when I am in that dark place of no return, when I am wasted and no one but they will look after me, when I am broke, when my life is changing dramatically, when I make life decisions to pursue a "'dream".... they are there for me, help me, support me, love me, and accept me, understand me... while the cool kids are out having fun. Let them have fun! But I will be there for the person who is there for me, when they are down... as they were there for me...In good times and bad, sickness and health, through love and war!
"Friendship is a gift we give ourselves." - Unknown
"A friend in need is a friend indeed." Aesop's Fables
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” CS Lewis
“Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” Albert Camus
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” Elbert Hubbard
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” Bob Marley
“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” Shakespeare
“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” Hellen Keller
“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.” Aristotle
“I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.” John Katz
“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.” Muhammad Ali
“Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find.” Shakespeare
“Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?” Richard Bach
“Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.” Richard Bach
“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.” Richard Bach
“Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.” Richard Bach
“Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.” Richard Bach
“We teach best what we most need to learn.” Richard Bach
Breathe
 |
| I forgot to mention, but animals are my friends too... they are beautiful people! |
 |
| My lovely friend Shelby, and our friend Justin! |
Tuesday, April 02, 2013
Struggling with Addictions
Remember the blog I wrote about social networking addictions? Well I suffer deeply. I was just spending time with my boyfriend this weekend, and he was like put the phone down, and then we can commence cuddling. So I did, begrudgingly, but I knew he was pointing something important out. I have about a 1000 friends, and sometimes I feel the pressure of having to check it. One knows who are the frequent posters, the unfrequent-facebook checkers, some people go through phases, of checking it for a week... I don't know how or why I got so consumed by this. I am known to be a frequent fb user, so I feel pressured when I don't post something. It's been only one month since my facebook hiatus in February. I have a problem.
I spoke to a friend who told me "try to avoid confrontational situations, just chill." When I explained further, he said " you just sound vexed". So he commented "first of all facebook is stupid. Stop fucking commenting on random shit that doesn't affect you leave FB alone. All it will do it annoy you later." We have helped each other through tough times, and continue to do so, he was one of the few who recently helped me figure out that whole "shoulds" and "is" issue. He diagnosed me after listening to how "wired" I am. He said "You have it worse than a alcoholic or a druggie!!! A person who is constantly distressed by her accomplishments and shit and is on fb every 3 hrs connected via phone, laptop... !!!! Close your fucking account!" (Sometimes harsh language helps jolt stuff into your head, subtlety is at loss.). Strangely my sister advised the same, so after much gerrymandering I accomplished (due to spotify now being connected to faceboo, so annoying!).
My friend went on to point out "Do a poll of all your friends.The most chilled out dudes, I'm sure barely ever get on fb.Getting on fb is a choice YOU are making!" Which is kind of true, live life more, internet less, fall less in the "busy trap"... busy doing what? Rule of thumb, and when joining any any any social network remember "you can not post stuff on fb and not expect to see peoples opinions on it, then some idiot will say something that bugs you." Which is true, which we forget. Election times are the worst, all other times are pretty tough too.
About idle time he suggested "if you are bored find healthy stuff to surf." To prevent me from re-activating it in a day he said "I know you will reactivate it in a day... every time you check facebook an animal dies a painful death ok!!!! That should help you." And it does, I remember the same tactic used to curb children from masturbating which is actually healthier than other stuff kids do today (Steubenville, Ohio)!
Why is this a problem? Often time it leads to a difference of opinion, ego bruising, and even confrontations. I know among kids it could lead to break ups, bullying etc. Personally I've lost friends, and its the worst thing to lose friends over, the silliest of arguments blow up into a volcano. I think social networking, facebook, meme's increase the likely hood of ruined friendships. Often times one can successfully show another person "hey you can look at the issue from this perspective", and that person acknowledges. Then you think you can take it further and change the world. Which leads to worse stuff. Social networking is now used to push ideas, products, political parties, etc. etc. *sigh* What happened to good old friendship? It's a tough world, and facebook, the internet and media, bring that world into your place of solace. Yikes! We can't fight it, but we can choose to let it not affect us. I know I let it affect me, just as my friend said. I need to distance myself and let it go. Seeing things for what it is and not getting wrapped up in the chaotic allure of it all... so difficult to do sometimes!
There seems to be increasing effort and research in studying the use of technology as an addiction, in fact there is a program now which focuses on internet, electronics addictions.
Other helpful links:
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/managing-your-social-network-addiction.html
http://sobercollege.com/2012/social-media-young-adult-addiction-treatment
http://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/032210p8.shtml
http://socialtimes.com/fight-social-media-addiction_b4552
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/internet_cybersex_addiction.htm
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0924933810708464
http://www.opposingviews.com/i/troubling-social-media-addiction-statistics
I realize not everyone has this issue. Most people are able to balance things in their life for the most part right? So I just need more help than others! It's my problem, am helping my self!
:-)
Breathe!
I spoke to a friend who told me "try to avoid confrontational situations, just chill." When I explained further, he said " you just sound vexed". So he commented "first of all facebook is stupid. Stop fucking commenting on random shit that doesn't affect you leave FB alone. All it will do it annoy you later." We have helped each other through tough times, and continue to do so, he was one of the few who recently helped me figure out that whole "shoulds" and "is" issue. He diagnosed me after listening to how "wired" I am. He said "You have it worse than a alcoholic or a druggie!!! A person who is constantly distressed by her accomplishments and shit and is on fb every 3 hrs connected via phone, laptop... !!!! Close your fucking account!" (Sometimes harsh language helps jolt stuff into your head, subtlety is at loss.). Strangely my sister advised the same, so after much gerrymandering I accomplished (due to spotify now being connected to faceboo, so annoying!).
My friend went on to point out "Do a poll of all your friends.The most chilled out dudes, I'm sure barely ever get on fb.Getting on fb is a choice YOU are making!" Which is kind of true, live life more, internet less, fall less in the "busy trap"... busy doing what? Rule of thumb, and when joining any any any social network remember "you can not post stuff on fb and not expect to see peoples opinions on it, then some idiot will say something that bugs you." Which is true, which we forget. Election times are the worst, all other times are pretty tough too.
About idle time he suggested "if you are bored find healthy stuff to surf." To prevent me from re-activating it in a day he said "I know you will reactivate it in a day... every time you check facebook an animal dies a painful death ok!!!! That should help you." And it does, I remember the same tactic used to curb children from masturbating which is actually healthier than other stuff kids do today (Steubenville, Ohio)!
Why is this a problem? Often time it leads to a difference of opinion, ego bruising, and even confrontations. I know among kids it could lead to break ups, bullying etc. Personally I've lost friends, and its the worst thing to lose friends over, the silliest of arguments blow up into a volcano. I think social networking, facebook, meme's increase the likely hood of ruined friendships. Often times one can successfully show another person "hey you can look at the issue from this perspective", and that person acknowledges. Then you think you can take it further and change the world. Which leads to worse stuff. Social networking is now used to push ideas, products, political parties, etc. etc. *sigh* What happened to good old friendship? It's a tough world, and facebook, the internet and media, bring that world into your place of solace. Yikes! We can't fight it, but we can choose to let it not affect us. I know I let it affect me, just as my friend said. I need to distance myself and let it go. Seeing things for what it is and not getting wrapped up in the chaotic allure of it all... so difficult to do sometimes!
There seems to be increasing effort and research in studying the use of technology as an addiction, in fact there is a program now which focuses on internet, electronics addictions.
Other helpful links:
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/managing-your-social-network-addiction.html
http://sobercollege.com/2012/social-media-young-adult-addiction-treatment
http://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/032210p8.shtml
http://socialtimes.com/fight-social-media-addiction_b4552
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/internet_cybersex_addiction.htm
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0924933810708464
http://www.opposingviews.com/i/troubling-social-media-addiction-statistics
I realize not everyone has this issue. Most people are able to balance things in their life for the most part right? So I just need more help than others! It's my problem, am helping my self!
:-)
Breathe!
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| Dualities of life... finding the balance Picture courtesy Piyali |
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