2013 hmm... Facebook... hmm... Social networking... emails... friendships....
Checking my inbox and I see spam. Checking my mailbox I see spam fliers! Once upon a time I would get letters from friends, and then later when times changed, I did receive actual emails from friends. Recently this has become very rare. I mostly use email for work, or for buying stuff. When was the last time a friend sent you a long meaningful email? My sis and I have a gratitude email we send out each day. Everyone adds a short list of what they are grateful for that moment, that day. It keeps us focused on the positive.
Another thing I do is, I try to spark some meaningful emails among few friends, but with texting, facebook, twitter, whatsapp, email, etc. etc. No meaningful interactions are really made, or it is more rare. This just saddens me because I love meaningful conversations, I love good laughs with friends near and far. I treat each day like not a moment has past since we last met. Sometimes I get a reply, sometimes a few follow up emails... but then it dies down from one-side or the other.
This year many of my friends listed "keeping in touch with friends, better/ more often" as their new year's resolution. Does this mean you touch base with them once a year? Twice a year? Quarterly? Monthly? Weekly? I'm not saying we must all have a meaningful dialogue every second... but truly what IS the meaning of life without good friends to connect or re-connect with? I will be crude here: you are doing the same shit on a different day, day after day, whether it is work, partying, drinking, gym-ing, reading, watching t.v., doing hobbies... Or maybe you do not seek meaning in life. :-P Maybe you are already connected with friends in a meaningful way and in that case this isn't for you.
I have a dear friend here in Ohio. We live 20-30 minutes apart, however work, schedules, and sometimes weather keep us from hanging out. When we do hang out, it is deep, connecting, bonding time. We are honest with each other when we cancel plans; whether it is low on cash, or 'Hey i am sorry i double booked, please forgive me! but I planned with Becky before you' or 'something else came up' or 'I'm going to blow off our yoga time cause the guy I had a crush on finally asked me out!' or 'I just don't feel like driving', or 'I really just don't feel like it, can we reschedule?'. Being honest works, because you are being honest to yourself and to your friend. It brings you closer, plus friends are understanding and supportive of each other. Most of us can tell when a friend is being flaky, or when their excuse is really a "white lie" covering up for their 'I just don't feel like it'. Honesty increases respect for each other. try it sometimes! My point was that although being in the same state, neighboring cities, should not be an excuse for not hanging out. Same thing, don't forget to try to give your friend a call, or shoot them an email, or reply to their text. Sometimes life happens, it can get in the way, but like my friend and I, we make it a point to hang out, and make things we do together memorable, meaningful and most of all a type of fun we both enjoy! I wish we did it more often.
So, when you make that new years resolution to keep in touch with your friends, set some goals out, just like you would do if you were going to lose weight by eating healthy and working out more. Take this as serious. Who are your good friends? Who are friends that consider you a good friend but you haven't given them a shot at friendship, maybe try this time? How often will you keep in touch? Method of communication which is good for both of you? What are the new major developments in the person's life to keep track of? Remember to pace yourself because you can get stretched too thin.
Honestly, being a good friend comes naturally to some, but not to all. I noticed when reconnecting with friends they had significant others, husbands/wives/partners, and some even have children now! It's hard to keep track of names. So I try to remember by writing their names down together. I feel bad when I call a dear friend and I say "oh and how's the husband?" I want to be able to say their names. I don't know about some of you, but I do take friendship seriously.
Another facebook trend is a status message that says - 'this year I am practicing giving (or something to that effect), and the first 5 to comment on my status will receive something from me. Now please post this on your wall.' Last year I started writing letters to people I hadn't talked to in a long while. I reflected on our friendship, and wrote to them short notes, a card, a drawing, a long letter... It was one of the tasks to be done in the book/ course 'The Artist's Way'. So a bunch of people got letters, some replied, some emailed, some texted or called. I actually did not expect anything! However remember getting a letter in the mail from a friend? It's better than getting something from Amazon in the mail. It's a part of your friend, but on paper, just for you... written from the heart.
Now we type emails, it's faster, but how many do we really put effort into? Is the heart of your email inbox empty? Is it craving meaningful connection?
Let's catch up!
Breathe!
Checking my inbox and I see spam. Checking my mailbox I see spam fliers! Once upon a time I would get letters from friends, and then later when times changed, I did receive actual emails from friends. Recently this has become very rare. I mostly use email for work, or for buying stuff. When was the last time a friend sent you a long meaningful email? My sis and I have a gratitude email we send out each day. Everyone adds a short list of what they are grateful for that moment, that day. It keeps us focused on the positive.
Another thing I do is, I try to spark some meaningful emails among few friends, but with texting, facebook, twitter, whatsapp, email, etc. etc. No meaningful interactions are really made, or it is more rare. This just saddens me because I love meaningful conversations, I love good laughs with friends near and far. I treat each day like not a moment has past since we last met. Sometimes I get a reply, sometimes a few follow up emails... but then it dies down from one-side or the other.
This year many of my friends listed "keeping in touch with friends, better/ more often" as their new year's resolution. Does this mean you touch base with them once a year? Twice a year? Quarterly? Monthly? Weekly? I'm not saying we must all have a meaningful dialogue every second... but truly what IS the meaning of life without good friends to connect or re-connect with? I will be crude here: you are doing the same shit on a different day, day after day, whether it is work, partying, drinking, gym-ing, reading, watching t.v., doing hobbies... Or maybe you do not seek meaning in life. :-P Maybe you are already connected with friends in a meaningful way and in that case this isn't for you.
I have a dear friend here in Ohio. We live 20-30 minutes apart, however work, schedules, and sometimes weather keep us from hanging out. When we do hang out, it is deep, connecting, bonding time. We are honest with each other when we cancel plans; whether it is low on cash, or 'Hey i am sorry i double booked, please forgive me! but I planned with Becky before you' or 'something else came up' or 'I'm going to blow off our yoga time cause the guy I had a crush on finally asked me out!' or 'I just don't feel like driving', or 'I really just don't feel like it, can we reschedule?'. Being honest works, because you are being honest to yourself and to your friend. It brings you closer, plus friends are understanding and supportive of each other. Most of us can tell when a friend is being flaky, or when their excuse is really a "white lie" covering up for their 'I just don't feel like it'. Honesty increases respect for each other. try it sometimes! My point was that although being in the same state, neighboring cities, should not be an excuse for not hanging out. Same thing, don't forget to try to give your friend a call, or shoot them an email, or reply to their text. Sometimes life happens, it can get in the way, but like my friend and I, we make it a point to hang out, and make things we do together memorable, meaningful and most of all a type of fun we both enjoy! I wish we did it more often.
So, when you make that new years resolution to keep in touch with your friends, set some goals out, just like you would do if you were going to lose weight by eating healthy and working out more. Take this as serious. Who are your good friends? Who are friends that consider you a good friend but you haven't given them a shot at friendship, maybe try this time? How often will you keep in touch? Method of communication which is good for both of you? What are the new major developments in the person's life to keep track of? Remember to pace yourself because you can get stretched too thin.
Honestly, being a good friend comes naturally to some, but not to all. I noticed when reconnecting with friends they had significant others, husbands/wives/partners, and some even have children now! It's hard to keep track of names. So I try to remember by writing their names down together. I feel bad when I call a dear friend and I say "oh and how's the husband?" I want to be able to say their names. I don't know about some of you, but I do take friendship seriously.
Another facebook trend is a status message that says - 'this year I am practicing giving (or something to that effect), and the first 5 to comment on my status will receive something from me. Now please post this on your wall.' Last year I started writing letters to people I hadn't talked to in a long while. I reflected on our friendship, and wrote to them short notes, a card, a drawing, a long letter... It was one of the tasks to be done in the book/ course 'The Artist's Way'. So a bunch of people got letters, some replied, some emailed, some texted or called. I actually did not expect anything! However remember getting a letter in the mail from a friend? It's better than getting something from Amazon in the mail. It's a part of your friend, but on paper, just for you... written from the heart.
Now we type emails, it's faster, but how many do we really put effort into? Is the heart of your email inbox empty? Is it craving meaningful connection?
Let's catch up!
Breathe!
 |
| Lovely Letter from my friend Trina |
 |
| Other letters I received from friends! |
 |
| Wrote one to Ryan! |
 |
| A letter to my sister! |
 |
| A card for a friend! |
 |
| A picture card from Mandy and David! |
Wow, Priyanka didi, was that your handwriting on the one addressed to Ryan. That handwriting is beautiful!! I know you draw really well, but that writing looks like something historic :)
ReplyDelete