A Small Reminder

Thank you!

A friend reminding me of what I can endure, accomplish and plan to achieve.

"Look at this: You’ve bettered your relationship with dad, rock climbed, had multiple epiphanies, changed jobs, encouraged multiple people, etc. Need I say more….. All done within a few months."

From the "I can't" attitude... to the "I CAN"!!!

Let us make it "We Can"!!!!
and we will!

I may not be an over achiever, I do not claim to be one; however I always hope to get things done. However sometimes the title is put unto me.

I must get done: work work work!
more writing
reading/studying rocks
travel
better $ management

become a "bad@ss" in general (referring to my Seneca Trip and my bad@ss climbing buddies).

Thank you for the inspiration. The reminders. The encouragement and support.



Smile!

(image courtesy some droid ap)

Things Learnt in 2009

Tolerance - i need to be more tolerant of my sister and she of me. we get on each other's nerves. We are poles apart different people. we shared eachother's lives for over 20 years, we know each other best, though we are separate people. tolerance to love each other and hate each other must be learned.

Patience - to deal with these trying times. to try over and over again for something which will never seem to work out. it seems so taxing and one of the most hardest things to learn. To wait... to anticipate with weary hearts.

Forgiveness - i learnt once from a very close friend that to forgive is like a blessing from a higher force. To cast away one's mistakes but love their very soul is something so deep, and a mystery to many people. Some have mastered it. I patiently try to forgive. To me mistakes involving one's heart and soul is harder to forgive rather than with inanimate objects which don't matter with regard to the immensity of Everything.

Compassion - passion to live life, work hard and make a difference was always my driving force. however compassion is something i lost. I remember working hard on christmas/season's greetings cards one year. I got so few replies it hurt to send any out the next year. Compassion is similar to unconditional love... its all so tricky... to love the right way is skill or some other word like being gifted.

Discipline - To live in moderation. To me this means to take care of my body. I am lucky to have a good one, which is all too damaged yet with injuries, and abuse. So to treat it with care would be my goal. To pursue things that will enlighten me and help me better myself is another goal, this can be done by focusing, limiting and disciplining myself.

Courage - I shrink after every fall, it takes me a long time to get back up. No matter how hard the fall we should never be disheartened, but spring upon our feet and meet life with full force. EVERY TIME. Have a fiery heart and determination to always get back up.

Confidence - believe in one's self and that alone is all the power you need. Do not be arrogant, pretentious or self righteous... but a confidence full of humility. To be humble is tricky these days, but it is a virtue. Confidence can be achieved with humility, however the balance is tricky.

I shall strive for these character qualities which have been diluted through the many days, journeys and trials i have faced these passed years.

ok this is all. I trust it would be a good lesson for most.

Posted by me in Feb 2009 on Facebook

Then

&

Now

lesson learned

Life is precious, life is beautiful, and this planet may be the only planet with life out there in the universe. Life can be done away with in a flash. Paramedics and doctors save lives. Yet we squander life away... smoking, eating unhealthy, being totally callous towards our bodies... then there is the fact we kill each other for the most DUMBEST reasons in the UNIVERSE. Yes killing in the name of _______ be it religion, resources, or jealousy are just DUMB reasons.

So I realized I could have been close to death when a normal, uneventful but sweaty +/- 25 mile bike ride became a day to remember, for those people in my life. We were riding STOMP (which is a biking program organized by the Summit County Metro Parks (which I am also a former employee of) on 5th Sept 2009. I had my brand new $400 Diamondback - Clarity - A Performance Hybrid Bike. light weight and built for speed. I was wearing a helmet because STOMP requires you to.

All day I was complaining about my helmet and how dumb and stupid it was. I had my camelbak for water/powerade. I had my cell fone in the back pocket of my bicycle shorts. There were a lot of hills on the ride. Riding with me were Renee, my close friend, her boyfriend Mark, and Paul. We started sometime after 9:30 hours from Howe Meadow, Cuyahoga Valley National Park. There were a lot of Uphills. Considering I helped Mark plan this new 25 miles route in 2007 when I was the GIS/Planning Intern there, I should have seen the hills coming. What goes up must go down... and what goes down must go up... so there were many such hills, very very tough hills. Sometimes we walked up the hills. The Maple leaf Mascot took a picture of me!

We met at all the "fun stops" and had refreshments. We were on out last hill, and coming down I knew we would be at the end. 26.5 miles done, .5 miles to go. I was thrilled... and then down this great finale of a slope I lost control of the bike. 26.5 miles and 26+/- miles per hour down this hill!!!!I was just very excited to be done, and the speed was exhillarating. That's how we should live life! It was brilliant, like the triumphant note of Mozart's masterpeice... and then I felt my bike wobble...and wobble again, until I could not control the wobbling anymore. I braced myself for whatever impact I would encounter...

and then I opened my eyes.

For all great feats, deeds and things there is a fall... so I fell but after a few seconds, I realized I was still alive then Paul was by my side. (13:20 hours) He asked me if I was alright. He told me not to move... but i got up and out of the middle of the road. I asked him if I could lay down, and he said yes. At this point I must have had a TON of adrenalin pulsing through my veins. My cell fone was intact. I told Paul to get my bicycle out of the street. He was awesome. He was there for me a lot. Poor boy. Then we were deciding who to call. He told me to stay awake and not to fall asleep at all. I was just laying there analyzing my body and state of affairs. I have NO idea what my health insurance covers, I was very reluctant to call 911, but it seemed the right thing to do as I felt the right portion of my head swell into a big bump. But the Science Fiction nerd that I am I thought I was Morphing into the ALIEN that I am! :-)

Paul called the shots, but I was lying there and decided I could bike back to Howe meadow. That he would NOT stand, and called some special number and then came some paramedics or CPR trained people, who felt my whole body and asked me a TON of questions. Then the park rangers came, and I was looking at all the people around me, as everyone told me to stay still, and I noticed a recognizeable face. It was Chief Shepard from the Summit Metro parks Rangers!
I said "I know you"
He said "She might be delusional"
I said "No I was the intern last year for Mark."
"Did you see Dave then at the field?"
"I didn't reach there, did I!"
"Yeah, I'd ask how you're doing but ..." and he smiled.

Then the EMS team showed up and asked me a ton of questions, and I was very tired of spelling my name. Very. Paul contacted Renee and Mark and told them about the situation! I love Renee! She arrived and said "Priyanka now what did you go do?"

There was then the decision of going with Renee and Mark, or With the EMS. I was sitting up now with an ice pack on my head. The ice felt good. To Ambulance, or not to Ambulance, that is the question..."

Hamlet's Soliloquy in Hamlet Act 3 Scene 1 shows how I felt with that decision... my life lay in the hands of ME and my decision of to trust the EMS, or trust myself and go with my trusty friends. In the end I was dizzy sitting, so I figured with the EMS. Also he said I could get paralyzed, I could Die etc. And Paul and My dad told me later that they thought of some actress who died because she did not go to the hospital for a head injury during skiing. I know not who this actress was.

The EMS guy LT. McCain! was a sweetheart, but his sidekick did not KNOW WHERE INDIA WAS. :-o And I'm an Indian laying on the stretcher there! It was nice meeting McCain however, he did not look, talk or act like John McCain at all (that can not be said for Lt. Tigh from BSG who looks, talks and acts like McCain). Ambulance rides are NOT fun, and it is NOT fun being strapped down into the stretcher thing, I could not breathe, I could not move.(around 15:00 hours)

Akron City Hospital was nice, I got my own room with a view of a fake sky. I had to pee and I was so Hungry. 26 miles later, and a hospital bed, no food, no bathroom for me until I had my catscan done. IT WAS VERY BORING. After the catscan My dad was there. I went to pee! I was so happy! and then Paul was there! I felt so good and I was so happy! I was ready to go. I had chocolate, crackers and nuts. I didn't get any water, or food out of the hospital... :-( H1N1... I wanted to get out of there ASAP!!!

Dr. Davis pronounced me alright to go, with mild concussion, and hematoma (sp) on my head, and abrasions. I did have a headache.

In the end of it all it was all worth it. Although I did wish I breaked all the way down, however I won't forget it. I realize I have one life, and I can't sit here and wait for death to grip me... I want to GO OUT AND LIVE IT UP. I love everyone!!! Thank You all for your well wishes... but remember Live life with positivity and love. Have faith in yourself and the Universe and all is at peace. Remember to live and do things which you would never do. Do try new things... remember Safety First!
However focus and be a steward of nature.

Loves Life Laughs

We live, we love, we laugh... I think these are the most important things we do.

I have lived but 26 years, and so far I loved so many people, animals, places, things... I love so much that sometimes it feels like that my heart may burst. However there are times when I stop out of sheer fatigue and its like the doldrums when there is just me loneliness, and all I feel is "Comfortably Numb". However this short piece is on Loving and that feeling. I love my family. but as Richard Bach said in Illusions- The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof." and "Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends."

I keep that with me in my heart, because "friends are a gift you give yourself", so i love my friends dearly is what I am trying to say. I can only hope they love me as I love them.

I realised I loved him when I met him after years, by then it was too late. I had had my opportunity to do something about it, but nay I had lingered, doubted and let it pass. So now I must wait, for a different lifetime perhaps. Perhaps it was never meant to be? Was it meant to only be a friendship? I guess I will find out in the end, but is there an end at all?

Another One. We loved each other, or so we thought. We were young and said our "I love you"s, all for naught; less than 9 months and he was gone. Gone just as the waves splash upon the beach and leaves it high and dry as it recedes into the low tide. Years later I have a strange "knowing" of him. The familiarity feels good, and there seems to be a connection, but i am not sure what. I did question him regarding this, but I can't figure it out. Thus those memories, those moments, or just him whether he has changed or not... friendship lasts forever, even though time moved on leaving "us" in the dust.

Bonds can be unbreakable; perhaps even so unshakable than "marriage". Thus it goes to show that even man can't make up and "institution" of marriage and MAKE it last forever till death do us part. Real bonds show test of time and change, (did i miss something?). I can vouch for that.

My best get-together was with the boy I loved in high school. I always truly thought I loved him despite all his faults, despite his lack of care towards me, the way he thought I was nothing compared to him. I resented him at times, but then I always knew I cared for him after ALL we had been through. YEARS later we stood on a beach holding each other, and he just said "You are one of the sweetest person I ever met". I think that's when I knew my patience, and care had paid off. I can't even begin to remember the number of times I had told him I loved him no matter what. He would always laugh about it, and say he just didn't feel the same way. I guess I shall always love that fool, through thick and thin. And I'll never regret it. We're friends deep down. Although who knows, he might deny his side of it.

Strangely some of my good friends so far I am yet to meet. I have been there friends through the internet so long, it feels like I know them, but then I think back, and wow I have never met them in person. Lately I met one such person in real life, and we have much more appreciation for each other now! It felt great, and although it was just a few hours, it makes up for ALL that time we missed out on. He was lovely. I plan to meet my other 2-3 friends soon!!!!

Love Love Love ... All you need is LOVE!!!

Image Courtesy National Geographic- Picture of the day. Mick Tsikas. International Photo Contest. 2008.