Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Egos, Opinions, and Arguments

This morning, in a meeting I witnessed one of the biggest clashes of personality, ego, and wit. It was amusing for a while, then it was hackneyed and I just wanted them to grow up and sort out their differences. The eye rolling, the use of wit, semantics, and what not. Grown Ups!

I miss the days when I could just pull my sisters hair, and she would slap and scratch me back, we would cry, and my mom would say sort it out. We would look at each other, say sorry and start playing again, together.

Things were simple then, how did it get so complicated?

The ego slowly develops as we grow and it becomes a source of comfort, the mental embodiment of that security blanket, or teddy bear we once couldn't live without. Holding onto our "ego" we actually miss out on a lot. As we grow we learn, and we often seek for approval of our opinions, thoughts etc. When we confront disapproval instead of seeing why and how, we say why not, and begin to stand our ground. It is important to learn how to stand our ground, but also see the other person's perspective and realize to them that maybe right. As we now learn after being around this planet for a while, and living with other humans for a little bit, that no one ever wins a fight, and no one ever is right or wrong (it's never as clear as black and white, and even then we found the 50 shades of Gray, different shades of white and black!).

If we are so educated, why do we still end up in conflicts?

Ego! The ego holds us back from seeing things from the other side, or multiple sides. When we hold onto it, (it's like holding on to pride), we can't see from anther's perspective. However when you can put things in perspective, then you range of vision, understanding, empathy, experience increases drastically.
Education, I feel, kind of hones that ego, rather than making us understand that we have it, and how it holds us back from truly being an "educated" human (with that statement I will say there's more where that comes from, a lot of ranting).

So how do we remedy this human nature called the Ego?

Let go of it. It is very hard to do, especially at first, because it always comes back, be aware of it, and notice the actions it makes you take. Its really easy to correct once you realize you are acting out of ego and not from your true heart. Realize the difference and make that change, it is good for the world. It is one of the things I have learnt from my boyfriend and my sister, is letting go of it, and being the higher person, not for pride, but to do the right thing, and realize I will be making the same mistake as the "offender" if I behaved in that fashion. Deepak Chopra, Sri Sri Ravishankar, The Dalai Lama, etc. and other philosophers and spiritual teachers have some useful advice.

Back to the argument this morning, it's funny thought both of the individuals involved have the above awareness, they went back to that nature since they thought they had to defend themselves against each other. Defense is a major part of protecting the ego/ error or a great way of hiding the fact you KNOW you did something wrong. So although I see where they were both mistaken, they both could have bowed and admitted, apologized and started working, building from scratch. However that seems like more work so they decided to take the messy path. As amusing as it was, it was disappointing, however I learned a lot and do plan to apply this further in my life.

Breathe!
 





The sign reads "we are not Human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience"!!! This lady (who drives the car) got it right!


Deepak Chopra - https://www.deepakchopra.com/blog/view/744/selfesteem_and_ego

"Be mindful of how you release your negativity so that it does not reflect back into your reality."



Dalai Lama - http://www.dalailama.com/messages

His tweets are the best:

Affection is important because it counters anger, hatred and suspicion that can prevent our minds from functioning clearly.

Affection is important because it counters anger, hatred and suspicion that can prevent our minds from functioning clearly.

Don't blame others for your uneasy feelings; blame your own state of mind. This is why altruism  brings you greater peace of mind.

Don't blame others for your uneasy feelings; blame your own state of mind. This is why altruism  brings you greater peace of mind.


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