Being, Being Normal, Being a Woman

Lately, I've been wondering, what would have life been like if I was normal, health wise.
Would my life have been easier if I was a man?
What would life be like if I had NORMAL periods?
What would life be like without Migraines?

What would life be like if I was naturally skinny, and had a naturally high metabolism?
If I had an American name, like Sally, would I be more likely to be hired?
What would life be like without any allergies? No food allergies, pollen allergies or any other allergies?

I am on the search for a natural cure for my endometriosis, fibroids, and other issues. For now I stabilize it with modern medications. Migraines? Unfortunately I need to ride it out, since the medications upset my tummy, and cause ulcers. Not fun. Regarding allergies spring always sucks the life out of me, and I never experienced it till I came to Ohio. Lactose, caffeine, green pepper, pollen, are other allergies I face, which if i didn't have I could enjoy the glory of Starbucks and Keurig, I could eat Mexican and other cuisines without worrying about the ingredients! If I didn't have it in my genes to grow horizontally, then I would love to be a foodie. If I didn't have problems with me periods, then I would do so many things, travel without a care, wear white clothes especially pants, more often... my period holds me back a lot. If I were skinny/ slender / thin then I would buy these amazing dresses I see, and hopefully they would look great!

If I had a name like Sally, well it would be hard for me to be interesting than the majority unless I was a Caucasian/ Anglo-Saxon Sally visiting in India. Otherwise I would have to figure out ways to be interesting. If I was a man, heck I'd join the boys club, pick up random hot girls at bars, who, all look alike- skinny, long straight hair, make-up, high pitched giggle. I'd also go to the gym, and probably get  a lot of raises and work my way to the top, because I'd work hard, charm the ladies, play golf with the guys, and voila!

Is it in my mind? Or is it just that hard to find a job these days NO MATTER who you are, name, race, sex, religion, culture, education, experience? Do they just look at my resume and think- oh no she probably needs a visa... scrap it! Studies say they only look at your resume for 20 seconds or less, maybe I should change my resume and put my experience and education on top and my name at the bottom? I don't know, but I've had trouble in the past while applying to jobs out of 20 applications I'd get only 1-2 interviews max.

Forget the NSA, is it true that HR managers will facebook search you on all social media sites etc. Privacy? What privacy? It's a fact you can't privately live your life in a digital age! Partying? Online social activist? Gay? Forget the job, you're a risk. If you do get hired, there's the office politics, and if you're a woman you better watch out; I've noticed a shortage of woman mentors at places of work. Instead of helping you up, they push you down... Why!? Why do we do this to ourselves?

I think we need to change all this and soon. Yeah, chucking thoughts about my period, migraines etc. out the window... we need to help each other as sisters. Yes we, as the "fairer" sex, have this issue of insecurities, jealousies which drive us to this competitive and ridiculous behavior, but we are in fact feeding the stereotype that women are gossiping b@#$es for lack of better words.

Focusing on changing things in the work place, changing things in our wombs... let us focus on positivity, letting go of resentment, anger, jealousy, and say we can rise up despite all challenges that are placed before us.

I am a woman, a brown woman. I have a long and hard to pronounce name. I am intelligent, and accomplished.

I have painful, long lasting periods. I will do yoga. I will find natural doctors.

I have awful Migraines. I will meditate.

I have weight problems. I will exercise. I will eat healthy.

I will work harder and go above and beyond for that raise.

I will be persistent in pursing my dreams, career, and goal.


I will work harder than the norm.




Breathe

Memories of Younger Years with My Sister Dear

Today is my little sister's birthday. She isn't little anymore... but I do recall that I called her "Baby" for many a year. I switched between calling her Baby and Bontie through the years, until per chance, me and a close friend of ours began calling her Pig. This blog post is dedicated to my lovely sister - Piyali.

Dearest Bontie, Pig, Baby, Piyali... 
I just want to wish you a happy birthday, but those are cliched words, I really wish you all the joy, love, success and laughter today, this year and forever! I love you so much, and I am so grateful to have you in my life for 28 years! Ok I think we didn't see each other between 2001 - 2002 but after that we have seen each other once every year. It's unhealthy and unnatural for us to be apart... we have some weird familial, historical dynamic... something from our childhood, genetic, and spiritual bonds us. We are telepathic and you know it!

28 years! we've fought, hugged, cried, grown, argued, silent treatment, tickled, giggled, pulled hairs, played, slept, ate, read, wandered and wondered, lost ourselves, found ourselves... we've been through so much, and here we are sharing stories and growing even more. Some memories of our childhood which only we know, secrets, gross stuff, sparkly stuff... locked away in our hearts. Playing with you was always so much fun - imagining castles, our flying horses, and our light sabers... what wonderful adventures we had together, what awesome world's we lived in. Running barefoot in school, playing at the jungle gym, waiting for our car together under the tree and observing those red-diamond bugs, the powder -puff tree, the tamarind tree, climbing the mango tree, Tennis with Raghu, then later with Sundar, Mrs. Menon's singing class, Hindi tuition with Motoraj! Bengali clas,s french, class, German, class, dance class, swimming class... I almost forgot the naughty things we did - put on ma's make up, clothes, and shoes, skipping class, feeding the dog our breakfast under the table, cuddling with the bunnies at night, sneaking and eating all the chocolate, our search for stick-em-stones, the war over the trolls, the "i'm-gonna-be" game... 

I lead, being the older sister, and you followed. You always tagged along on my birthdays, and got gifts on my birthday! But strangely I never got gifts on your birthday, or was allowed to tag along. Some double standard! Anyway, I remember approving of your crushes, and was always wondering why you fell for the geeks! It was because I was a geek! Which I had learned from our uncle first hand.

I remember you being fussy with food, the curly head of hair, the big innocent eyes-oh god- heart wrenching, and you were always a skinny little thing. You always said the cutest things, and the most absurd dreams, oh pig although I never told you then... you were always my best friend. The whole time... even when you were hurt, and they called me from class to go take care of you, I acted resentful, but when I saw you I thought- aww that's my sister (I didn't know the word "aww" back then though) I need to hug her if at all anything. I remember I would just hug you. Heck the whole school thought you were so cute though, they would all tell me how cute you were! Maybe I was a little jealous, but hey I got to tell you stories at night from the upper bunk, and share adventures with you on the weekends!

We were scolded together, and then we grew up and played politics and got each other in trouble. All in all I'm glad we've grown and aren't playing those games, but I do miss the imaginary games we played. Sometimes I think I described things to you as I saw it in my head, and only you know what worlds are in my head! You are my best friend, you are my secret keeper, my sister, my angel, (also ma's angel), my play time friend, my motivator, and inspiration. Thank you for the talk we had the other day, I really needed it.

You always protected me; once we were walking through new market and some guy did what any ingrate low-life would do: brush against my body. And you asked me: did that guy just touch you inappropriately? I confirmed your suspicion, and you were enraged and said no - one touches my sis like that. You grabbed the guy and asked him - aren't you ashamed? don't you have a mother, or sister? you should be ashamed of yourself. You tried to cause a scene, but as we know Calcutta did not and does not care what happens to its women. You were and are my hero pig! Thank you for being there, for standing up for me, and having major balls! I love you!

Pig there's so much I still want to talk to you about, sometimes I wish we could go back and be innocent again and play, and make mud laddos, but we can only travel in our hearts, to relive those moments, revel in the nostalgia. However I want to make new memories and spend more time with you... but time flies so quickly now... Those 100 day summer vacations are gone, they flew by! I know sometimes it seems I don't make enough effort to be there for you... but if I could I'd be there with you making tents out of blankets on a rainy monsoon afternoon, so we could play monster - monster. Or I would be there for you when you called, but grown up life is so different... did we ever imagine this? You've found your prince, and will soon be wed... I never imagined that! I never imagined you being the New Yorker, and me the New Yorker, loving midwest suburbia!

To more adventures and journeys together!


I love you little sister and hope to see more of you!


Your Dedly deds/ didi ...

Forever!



 ps: loved doing yoga with you!

waiting at the dentist! 2013 July 19th

Breathe!

A Song of Ice and Fire: A Clash of Kings - Chapter 59 - End (Spoiler alert!)

Dany is almost killed in her last chapter in this book... she decides that she's had enough of Quarth and is looking for a ship. The Xaxoos guy or whatever his name is, tries to bargain ships for one of her dragons, but Dany tells him straight up - dude one of my dragons is worth 1/3rd of the world's ships. So he buggers off, but Pyath Pree is also out to get her so he sends a guy with a fancy box, which holds a scarab which is actually a manticore which tries to kill her. Two strangers who had been following her kill it. It so happens they had been sent from Pentos to bring her there. They have three ships, and of course the bossy girl she has become she changes the ships' names. Also they let her know that Westeros is in deep s#@! and has 4 kings last they were there. She secretly smiles to herself. So hopefully we'll hear more of her side this next book? Or not?

Davos is captured by the Lannisters... but oh wait let's go back to how. Last we heard of Tyrion he had sent off Mycella, and Tommen. Told Joffrey he can prepare himself for war, and Cersei was pissed at that and thus roped in Alayaya into the mess. Shortly after all this they prepared for war, and Tyrion had all sorts of sneaky stuff set up for Stannis fleet arriving by sea, AND on land. That chain of his is finally put to use, and he uses alot of "wild fire" which I assume is bombs.
I digress for a second and point out that in the recent Rolling Stones' controversial article it was revealed that the Boston Bomber kid liked "The Walking Dead" series and "The Game of Thrones"/"A Song of Ice and Fire" series. It really bothered me that these details were so important. I know how people and especially this country tends to profile people, so I just want to say you can like these things and it does not impact how violent one is. Violence is not based on race, immigration/ citizenship, or books, ultimately its a person's decision to perform heinous acts... These books, as crazy as they might be, are by no means turning people into mass assasins.

Back to Tyrion, so he's all getting ready for war... digress again for World News- The Brits have another heir to their heir to their heir... its a baby boy! Oh yay and lucky for him, he does not face the same charges as Joffrey. Back to Tyrion, so The war starts, and since Cersei won't let Joffrey get into harms way, and Joff just likes giving orders, and pretending to go brave, Tyrion is like - eff this shit, am gonna go kill some brave people. In the process he is nearly killed by one of their own allies (some guy who's name began with an M), but I think Tyrion kills him in the end, and almost drowns himself, but his little squire Podrik Payne saves him. He wakes up all delirious and realizes his face is effed up, not like he was handsome before, but he is uglier than before. He's really pissed but happy to be alive.

Skipping over to Sansa, she's all cooped up in the building as war wages outside, with Cersei and a bunch of other Lords' Ladies (apparently the Lords were all off fighting). The Hound is there for some reason, he's on hold to kill everyone in case Stannis wins (Cersei has a beautiful mind). She's so upset her son is outside fighting, her son who whines so much. Sansa wishes he dies the whole time, if it isn't mentioned I'm sure she feels it nonetheless. The queen drinks wine, and whines, and they get news that they are failing the battle, then she gets news of some other tragedy and runs off (which is probably not a tragedy). Sansa stays and tells everyone to stay calm. Then more chaos breaks out, and Sansa heads upto her bed chambers, and looks out her room window to see disaster. The hound is in her room for some reason, and he is drunk, and asks her to sing a song before he leaves. So she sings, the whole time I was a afraid he would rape her, but she squeaks out a song. He leaves touched by her singing, tears in the eyes and all, and he basically abandons the Lannisters. He's probably had enough of their BS. Sansa gets the news that the Lannisters won, and Stannis fled defeated by his own brother. It was actually Lord Tywin to the rescue. The next day everyone is knighted, and honored. The prisoners of the enemy are beheaded, and here we hear Davos speak up, another of King Stannis' men speak up and expose Joffrey as being the product of incest and not the true heir. Joffrey gets angry and orders him dead, but at the same time he gets cut my the iron throne. (Which is a sign that he isn't meant to be any sort of king). Joffrey whines like a baby and his mummy runs to him. Tywinn stands there and accepts to be Joffrey's Reagent. Joffrey before getting scraped and crying like the baby he is, accepts Margaery Tyrell's hand in marriage, casting aside Sansa. This makes her happy, but she appears pouty. She runs to the God's Wood and meets her Knight there. She is happy but he says as long as she remains there, Joffrey can still order beaten and could even rape her, and make her bare bastards. She thought she could get away living there for free and not have to deal with Joffrey anymore... wrong! So he says on the night og Joffrey and Margaery's wedding she would have to escape. Dun dun dun!

Jon Snow is told by Ranger Qhorin to leave the men in black (get it ;-) ) and join the wildings to find out their plans. And turns out Yigrette went back to them, btu she helps spare his life. In the mean time, I'm wondering about Samwell and Ghost.

Bran and Rickon have been holed up in the crypts with Jojen, Meera, Osha and Hodor. They sent the wolves off to create a distraction! Theon was ruthless and made to burn down Winterfell when no one wanted to help him out (actually it was some guy who took over his case, I am so confused). So Theon leaves with some people, Reek is no where to be seen, Maester Luwin is hurt and left behind. Bran and all find him and Luwin tells them to send Rickon and Osha to Castle White, some place south. Bran wants to go North to find Willy Wonka's Chocolate factory... ofcourse not he wants to find the blasted three-eyed-crow! Anyway it's sad but Winterfell is in shambles, so they leave.

Arya decides after learning that her brothers are all dead, that she needs to go to Riverrun. She realizes Roose Bolton is going to give the Harenhaal to the mummers, so she decides to leave. She gets Gendry and Hotpie and sneaks out at the dead of night. She kills the first man ever, but it is no matter, she is a Stark and must be as strong as Robb.

And that's the end of A Clash of Kings.

Now on to " A Storm of Swords"

Winter is Coming!


Breathe

Jon Snow and his Ghost. By Jayson Mondola

A Song of Ice and Fire: A Clash of Kings - Chapter 42 - 58 (Spoiler alert!)

Apparently I feel I am overdue on writing a review on the last 15 or so chapters... Holy Enchiladas!

Let's start of with Dany. Her chapters seem a little dull, although she's in Quarth, has a dragon, is totally smokin hot, single now, and is really driven to take back the throne. If I were her I would let my past go, meditate, and move East with 'what's his face' Mornmont, and life happily ever after with dragons. Oh no, she must have ships to take back what is hers, because after she lost everything, and lost everything again, only war and getting her parent's throne back will make everything ok. Bah! She decides to go into Pyath Pree's (yes there is a character named Pree! but he is not nice at all), house of the living dead, or some such tourist trap. She walks through it with her dragon Drogo, and has visions, speaks to dead people and psychedelic mumbo-jumbo, or if you wish to call it spiritual you may do so. So it leaves us there with that. Her chapters are spaced out and few in this book. Either way I'm just glad her vile brother is not abusing her anymore.

After realizing she had 2 inconsequential men killed, Arya realizes she need Jaquen (spelling) to kill the Tywinn. She can't find Jaquen anywhere though. So she just keeps her eyes, and ears open, and goes about her duties as the little servant person. By night she plays and prays at the wierwood  or Godswood I'm so confused by these damned trees, the trees her forefathers prayed too... the magical ones with faces. While playing Jaquen approaches her and asks her to name a third. She does, she says Jaquen. He asks her to take the name back, for a friend would not do this to a friend. She says only after he helps her, for friends help each other. I forgot to mention, that in between a whole bunch of men who ride under the Stark banner and other banners allied with the Starks were captured and put in the dungeons there. So she says to Jaquen, if you help me free them, I will take the name back. He is true to his word. He sets off, gives her instructions to make some broth. So she goes to the kitchen and does so. She realizes that this Jaquen seems to be magical for how did he get the other two mysteriously killed? Anyway one of the other guys who she had set free with Jaquen way back when, orders her to bring the broth. So they take the broth down to the dungeons for the guards and pour it all over them, while another slays the guards. Arya releases the prisoners, and Halenhaal falls to the Starks! Arya names herself Nymeria, since Weasel is a mean name. She is appointed as somebody somebody's maid. Jaquen takes Arya's leave and infront of her kills his old self and dons a new face... he gives her his business card (or something to that effect), if she ever needs him she should go to Braavos, and seek him out. Dun dun dun!


In the mean time, Bran's warg dream and Jojan's green dream come true. Theon has taken over Winterfell, and is killed the two guys Jojen had foreseen dying - Mikken and another. Very sad. Osha pledges allegiance to Theon, and so does a stinky prisoner named Reek. Bran being a child, Theon tells him it's best you yield and you will be my ward... or something to that effect. Theon is a major #$%#@ Bran yields, sweet little cripple Bran. Life goes on, and one day, Theon wakes up to find Bran missing. Here's how two chapters/ characters collide. Theon sets out a search party (he has the joy of f#@$%ing whores in Eddard Stark's bed), and they realize Meera, Jojen, Bran, Rickon, Hodor and Osha are on foot, along with the Direwolves. This should eb an easy catch, but find no trace of them after the stream, even the dogs can't trace them. Reek thinks they are at the mill, and Theon sends everyone including Maester Luwin back. He comes back with two bodies. He puts the heads on the wall. Osha arrives and makes a couple of points, 1- as a Greyjoy their power lies in the sea, and he has wandered far to inland 2 - he has done so with too few men, far too few! 3- it is folly that he stays there for now everyone in the north is his enemy, and they were not able to win the fight at one other place thanks to Ser Rodrek (captain of Winterfell) 4- he shouldn't have killed the boys, he should have kept them as hostages for leverage. This gives me good hope and confidence that Theon is truly f#@$ed by all means. He has it coming, but as stubborn, prideful, and arrogant as he is he won't leave Winterfell for he is King there now. He points out by killing the 2 boys he has avenged his two brothers, and his father will be proud of him. Osha leaves, leaving him with only 10 men. Theon orders Reek to raise another hundred, and sends him off with money. He worries for Reek is the only one who knows what Theon did. Theon had the Miller's boys killed and used their bodies as evidence of Bran and Rickon's death. Yaaaay! Bran lives! Theon goes to sleep and has dreams of the feast when King Robert visited. However slowly everyone at the table becomes dead, and he wakes very disturbed. Oh how the ghosts of our past take vengeance and eat us in our sleep.

Jon and the lot set out, and Jon begins getting warg dreams too. He sees what is on the other side of the mountain waiting for them. Ghost comes back injured. Jon lets a wilding girl who would have killed him, go. Her name was Yigrett. Anyway the north just seems bleak. Jon finds out the Starks have wilding blood in them or something, and also Mance would keep him alive and not kill him. Mance was once a black brother, but he left... atleast that's what I understood.

Alot of things happen at Kingslanding, and we have Tyrion's perspective, and Sansa's. Tyrion sends Petry to speak to the ex- wife of Renly to see if she would take Joffrey's hand in marriage. He sends Mycella off far away, and sends Joffrey's heir - Tommen, some place safe. So Cersei is pissed, cause all her kids are kind of gone, Maester Pycelle is dead. Cersei finds out that Tyrion means to send Joffrey to war against Stannis. She does not want this, however Tyrion points out that 1- men follow a lord who connects with them 2- who fights besides them 3- men will not follow a guy who hides behind his mother's skirts. Cersei is pissed off even more. I hope Joff dies, and so does pretty Sansa. Anyway, in the mean time Tyrion is in love with Shae, and the queen reveals to him that she has his Whore. Tyrion is super sad, but tries not to show it. They bring the whore in front of him, and lo and behold it is Alayaya (virgin whore, who is Tyrion's cover for his visits to Shae). Tyrion says - if you hurt my whore I will make sure both Mycella and Tommen are raped/ beaten. Cersei let's Alayaya the innocent girl go. The thing is Tyrion doesn't want his nephews and nieces hurt, he continues to do what's good for the Lannisters, but Cersei is a paranoid queen. Everyone thinks Tyrion awful cause of his looks, but he has a heart, more so than any of the other Lannisters. When they were seeing Mycella off at the docks, the people mobbed the "Royal" Family, with some help of King Joffrey's arrogant and ignorant orders. One of the families girl's gets raped by men, and Sansa is hit on her head and suffers some injuries. Tyrion realizes they are not safe at the Keep, and must double security.
Sansa in the mean time plots with her knight, but things go very slow. He says he has a friend within who will help once he returns from a trip. Sansa becomes anxious, especially when one morning she wakes up and she has her period. She panics and sets her bed ablaze, anyway the Queen finds out. Poor Sansa and her silly dreams of Knights and Heroes, she's slowly waking up to reality, the hard hard way. Sansa like Arya prays every night for the death of Joffrey and others.

Oh boy! Davos this new pirate turned knight is instructed by Stannis to go by night with that Melisandre to go to Storms End and take the bastard from some lord who wont yield. So with the help of black magic, and a shadow which Davos knew, they seize the bastard. Maybe the bastard was Robert's true heir. Anyway later on Davos knows it, but none of the other captains of Stannis' fleet of ships would listen to a Onion Knight, they get ambushed at sea at Kings Landing. What a shame.

Last but not least - Catelyn - she is at Riverun and gets the news of Bran and Rickon dying. She worries about Arya and Sansa, memories come back to her. She tells Brienne, the only person she tells. When she says it, it feels like she is making it true. She plots to talk and get answers from Jaime. She goes to the cellar after midnight with Brienne, and she gets him to 1- admit that Joffrey et al are his sons 2- he pushed Bran out of the window 3- everything he ever did was for Cersei 4- he's only ever slept with Cersei 5- the truth of how Ned's brother and father died. In exchange she tells Jaime that his father, Tywinn, Son and Cersei are all ok. She then takes Brienne's sword....

Blimey!


Breathe!

Winter is Coming - By Jayson M.

Life with Babi

Today on the way home from lunch, my dad and I notice many cops in their cars, waiting for that one speeder. For those late to the blog, I call my dad - Babi - which is my word for father. The actual Bengali word for father is Baba, but for some reason I couldn't say it!

Dad- they're just waitin' and watchin'
Me- Did you just drop the G?
Dad- Yeah I speak American, what do you think?
Me- What?
Dad- Now I say 'come on in'! instead of 'please come in'!
Me- :-O
Dad- What you think that I didn't not know how to talk 'Merican?
Me- You even got the double negatives!? (shocked)
Where have you been learning this atrocity?
Dad- From ma friens!

Breathin'! Keep on breathin'!