Life with Dad

It's raining in Northeast Ohio this morning... and 50*f ... I'll keep the warm temps but 86 the rain

Dad- Its raining really hard, don't you have an umbrella? I always have an umbrella.
Me- no! I just run!
Dad- Every lady has an umbrella! You are not a full lady yet!
Me- What?? I never heard of such a rule!!
Dad- how will i get into the building without getting wet?
Me- stop being a girl, and RUN!

I get out and run to the door. My perfectly structured curls are ruined, but I got minimally wet! Dad giggles as he runs!!!!

Do I see an umbrella in the future?

Yoga Diaries

Yesterday I went to my first yoga class since 1997. This class brought back so many memories. From 1991 to 1997 my sister and I went to Sivananda Yoga Vedanta Center in Kotturpuram, Madras, which later moved to Thiruvanmayur or a little further from there. My sis and I were children, and we were in the children's beginners class, in a year or so we were in the advanced classes, teacher training classes, then back to the advanced classes.We went everyday, and later 2-3 times a week as we grew older. The Yogis became a part of our lives, the center became a part of our lives, although reluctantly at first, it was sure, especially the Center in Kotturpuram.

My mother told my sis and I she was going to enroll us in classes and took us to the yoga center. We were sitting there to sign up in this lobby which has a plant, a few pictures of the Swami Sivananda and Swami Vishnudevananda, and a very large OM. I remember wondering what that meant, I was 6! I had no idea what yoga was, although I heard my mom say she did it. While we were sitting there, a lady also waiting there, suddenly began talking to my mom "Oh Aruna! I didn't recognize you. Remember we met at the Gupta's dinner 2 months ago? Anyway how are you doing? I didn't know you had kids! How are you? Are you married too? I knew you looked familiar..." She went on and on before my mom could even correct her mistake. She mistook my mom for someone else. Finally my mom said, "I am not who you think I am!" The lady apologized and felt so embarrassed, I felt her embarrassment! It was funny but also strange. We were in a strange place, signing up to do something strange,  and this stranger lady begins talking to my mom!

We signed up for the classes, and my mom bought us t-shirts and a book for the class. My sis got a yellow shirt which had a big Om on it. It had the motto of the Sivananda Center:

"Health is wealth, Peace of mind is happiness, Yoga shows the way."

-Swami Vishnudevananda

I got a blue t-shirt identical to my sister's. So we proceeded to the class which was upstairs on the thatch covered terrace. There was this interesting picture of the spine, and postures, and a small changing room. We used bamboo mats to do the yoga on. No fancy pansy, rubber mats we have now a days. This was yoga the original way. We were asked to bring a cloth - not a towel or rug. It was minimal props. We got our mats and sat down on them. We met our instructor: Yogi Sabu-ji. They were all  real yogis here - never married, living the yogic way, eating that way too - pure vegetarians etc. There was one more modern teacher, we called him Swami-Ji and he had been married, but left his family to live a life of a Yogi. They were very serious and would scold us if we misbehaved, talked too much, did not pay attention. We made friends with other students, and friends with the yogis over the course of the year.

 The first class we learn the Surya Namaskar. We did that for a few classes, till we knew it, by heart. Then we learn other poses, and our first upside down pose - shoulder-stand! Sarvangasana! Yeah! We kids loved being upside down for some reason. We also had to learn all the Sanskrit terminology. As the year went by we learnt more poses/ asanas, and got closer. At some point my sister and I were the only students, yoga was not popular hobby in general in India. I think we enjoyed doing yoga outside, and on the rare occasion play games with the Yogis, attending the special events, ie. Swami Vishnudevananda visited the Chennai center in 1992 or so. It was amazing to chant, meditate, sing and eat with him. We really had no idea he was a senior and learned yogi. We just knew he was aged, to be respected, and this was a super serious day.

We didn't know at the time how much Yoga was benefiting us, and how it would become such a huge trend in the west. We just went because our mom sent us there to get better from out asthmatic and sinus conditions. With regular practice we got sick less. However I am ever grateful to my mom for sending us everyday!

I will have to wait for more memories of  yoga class to come back to me... however I never stopped doing yoga after 1997. This was some magical skill we had acquired, while most girls finished their Arangetram in Bharatnatyam, my sis and I were skilled yogis - we could stand on our heads, our hands, and become "crazy human pretzels". We practiced it at least once a week with our mom, and we would enjoy showing guests the power of yoga!

Fitness Goal - Week 1

This week:
Elliptical everyday for 30 minutes. Heart Rate 140-150.
Walk it out.
Surya Namaskar.

Food - Soups, salads, dhal (Lentils), fish and chicken curries. Sad to say this, but bye bye potatoes, and hello apples.

Possible Yoga with my mom!

The One Heart Way

If you read my previous blog about what happened to me, you must have wondered, so what did she do after that? How did she go on? There would be many questions.

First off- I told someone, and that someone helped me find help. Especially since, abuse leads a women to lose self respect, looks for self-deprecation. This is because of all things the woman blames herself, and self worth plummets. She believes she deserves this abuse, and unknowingly seeks out more abuse. It is hard to break the cycle. I think once we identify victims of childhood molestation, abuse, and rape, we must intervene with confidence boosting therapy/ help to break the cycle. I was lucky to have a few great mentors/counselors along the way. Unlearn being the victim, and focus on building the self once again.

Second - I refused to ever feel helpless like that again. I promised myself I would never get "drunk" with anyone I do not utterly trust. So, honestly, I get drunk only if i am home, with my parents, or with my boyfriend (who would have had to earn my trust). Also I always make sure there is a designated driver (drinking and driving is so dangerous, please always have a DD).If I am ever at a club again I will always buy my drink from the bartender and watch him make my drink. Never accepting drinks from any guy I don't know, anymore. If you don't drink alcohol, good for you, but remember, roofies/other "date-rape" drugs, could be mixed with your non-alcoholic beverages too, so beware.

After my sister's incident, she and I both began learning Kwanmukan Karate. However as children we both  learnt basic self defense from Shihan Hussaini. This was my first introduction to Isshin-ryu Karate. Then I picked it up again in 2007 here. I practice it non-competitively since I do this for me. My Sensei is slowly teaching me how to spar. Isshin-ryu means a lot to me, because my Sensei not only taught us how to defend ourselves, but the history of Karate, discipline, helping out in the Dojo, being good to ourselves, becoming fit, reminding us to drink water, it is more than fighting...It's the meaning behind it all.  A meaning, a code that must not be taken lightly. The philosophy is the base of all forms of martial arts, including this form of karate, which stem from various regions of the East, for Isshin-ryu, it stems from the Ryu-Kyu Islands of Okinawa (Japan), are truly eye opening- simple but profound (like most eastern philosophy). Isshin-ryu stands for - The One Heart Way (literal), but meaning - the way of the one heart.. the story goes on to say we all have one beating heart. So I will fight you if I must, but the choice is yours. Although I may have mace, or some sort of self-defense tool, I now have my empty hands,for they are learned in "the way". I maybe no black belt, but the first rule is ... avoid conflict at all costs, run! I talk to my Sensei about this and many scenarios, and he is very strong, so I always think its the best way to practice.

Third - Always be alert when walking in an unknown place, or at night. Don't let your guard down even if it is in your own neighborhood (see Kitty Genovese). Be ready, be alert, remember what you could use to defend yourself.

Fourth - working on "ME" has helped mend me, my confidence, self esteem and my heart and soul. I learned to be more conscious, and give love, forgive, and let the light flow. I think this healing came from my sister, who has a crazier story than mine. Thought younger, she has learned so much in such a short time. She is my hero. Find a way to heal, spiritually. It is very important, for the spirit is what is ripped open, no matter what happens to the body. (I honestly wish I could refer my sister to people who need this help, she does have an awesome organization called Conscious Culture). Meditation, art, writing, music, yoga, dance... are all creative outlets to

I am glad though I can take care of myself, and I now know that "No means No". I know what sexual harassment is, and I let people know when they have crossed the threshold. I am glad I grew out of my drinking-partying-clubbing stage, and have grown up to be interested in a different type of night life (camping, star gazing...). However I never forget the things I learned, especially since I travel to different places.

I also never forget to breathe...

The Goddess/ Megami the symbol for Isshin-ryu Karate

2013: Resolution Smesolution

I asked Ryan what his resolution was a few years ago, and he said he didn't make promises he could not keep. That's pretty much what a resolution was. Most people make a promise to themselves to stop eating desserts, work out more, quit smoking etc., and inevitably most people end up breaking their resolutions. So I totally saw his logic. Honestly who am I fooling? It sounds so virtuous and it does make for great conversation at a New Years Eve party, but it really takes more work than that. I don't remember a year that I actually practiced my New Year's Resolution for the whole year. So this year I thought for a long time about what last year meant and what will be different this year.

My goals in regards to health, and career are what will be my main focus this year. I will work out more, watch what I eat, learn to cook healthier meals. I will be mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually more CONSCIOUS! I will pursue music, photography and drawing. I will learn Chinese. I will get back in shape to do all the things I love to do by May. Blog more... last year I wrote 65 blogs! i love blogging, i love your feedback! Keep it coming!
Career wise, I will write more, focus on my book, other writing projects, maybe start something on my own... I don't know what this year holds, but I will be open to all options at this point. I am so excited, opportunities abound!!

That's it right there! Those are my goals for this year. Keep it simple, make it a part of me...
I don't want to go into detail, but I am sure it will unfold on here as the month's go by!

Until then I am grateful for my lovely family, my amazingly talented best friend and boyfriend Ryan, my wonderful loving friends, my work, whatever health I do have, and ...

Breathe!

Yeah, I drew/calligraphy-ed/ wrote this!