Lost & Found

Lost & Found

-Priyanka Banerjie

There was a storm

The ocean swelled up

Crashing about a destructive form

Sending all into a deep dark abyss

Many a ship sailed by

No rescue crew

Only the blue sky

Floating in the ocean nothing to do

Along floated a compass

Surprising old and rusty

Among the flotsam jetsam mess

Pointed most assuredly to safety

You were my compass

Stepping into my life

Your direction helped me, I confess

However did not save me from strife

Life is not perfect

I get lost again

Now where is my compass

This time I find my way alone

picture by Karsten Petersen

http://www.neatorama.com/2008/04/14/surviving-a-super-storm-at-sea/

http://mythsnlegends.wordpress.com/2007/10/19/hello-world/

Gurus of Peace and Climates of Change

We should all strive to be Gurus (teachers) of Peace

Thus bringing about an actual climate of change!

Just food for thought and action.

A man meditating on the Ganges in Benaras, in the

 morning while the boatman gets bored and slouches. 

However this is his meal ticket; he can't complain!

Some little boys play in the water of the Ganga. They 

were thoroughly enjoying themselves. Oblivious to the

ashes of the dead bodies, pollution, sewage, and

chemicals that are present in the water.

Physics of Life

You are moving away, at a tangent.
I'll aim my shot further away.
Yet when the time is right.
Our path's will meet again,
It's the science of life!

Unemployment & Angst

2008 December I graduated! Great hopes and dreams.

I was set on beginning my PhD. However a strange job opportunity came my way and it was once in a life time government super sweet job. I thought I had it, they made me think I had it... and alas boom bam! I shake my head in disappointment. Was I a fool? Once again, was I played?
2009 I spend working part time, and I was lucky to have got that job, part time or not. SO LUCKY!
I gained experience, but all year I have kept applying to jobs.
Nothing positive. Out of over a 100 job applications I sent out I only got 1 positive response, and I didn't get that job either because I lack experience. However all the experienced people are "laid off". THey might have a better chance of getting hired.

*rolls eyes*

So here I am fresh out of grad school, a head full of ideas... just being let down, time and time again.

Anger Hatred Fear Depression

and an entire array of completely remorseful and horrid feelings fill me. I'm dying from the inside out. Why, oh why does the mighty lord not strike me down dead? I feel so useless and worthless. Just feelings. So the government is creating jobs ... then why do I not have one yet? I am applying. I am doing everything I can.

Those of you who know me, I am professional, I present myself well, I have experience (interned at places), I am intelligent, and I know my stuff. So maybe I don't have 10 years experience, but heck I am only in my mid 20s.

Frustration. Furious. Fierceness. Fervid. Flaming.

I don't mean to express such rage, but really it is so hard to remain positive. However when they say a door closes... God opens a window.

Well numerous doors have closed for me. I mean many many many many many doors have closed, or many people have closed doors, and not to point fingers but many government jobs (well a computer ranks the applications, apparently. Computers are smarter than humans and very good judge of human character apparently).

Yes I am bitter. Today once again I heard the words that are so abundant and redundant in employer emails to day... repeated "you do not have the required 'score'" emails from a division of the government for a job. Not one email but 7 computer generated rejections. Very nice I would say. So I am bitter. However I found my window and I am going to open it myself, and make the best of it.

Determination, Divination, Discipline, Dedication, Drive, Destiny.

(I wrote this January 8th 2010. I am finally publishing it online now. I believe this is how all the "occupies" feel. I dealt with these feelings, I was underemployed... and now i am working not in the field that I graduated with. I MADE things turn around. We control our lives, our fate and destiny... not the government or some rich fools. Become the Tiger!

2010

from Facebook:
It's the last day of the year. Last day of the decade. However only after reading Rebecca's note, did I think of writing and reflecting. So 2000 I was in 11th grade. 2001 I graduated high school. I didn't like high school too much. 2001 I also moved to USA to go to College. I met some lovely people and learnt a lot about moving away from work. 2002 I had some struggles but by 2003 I moved to Ohio with my parents. 2003 -2005 I went to University there and finished my bachelors. Then I worked for a year and then got my masters (2008)
... but it has been quite the journey with ups and downs. However I hear that's what life is about.

This passed year (2009) has been quite the rocky ride. Life after a degree is supposed to get better but the times were just bad to begin with. However in April I went to India and it was enlightening. I learnt a lot. I got back from India and dear Paul had helped me find a job. I have been there since, gaining experience all the while applying for other jobs, knowing this was only a temporary part time position.

 Having no job is demoralizing. It makes you feel like you have no purpose in life, unwanted, unvalued. It hurt so much. Here I had dreams yet I felt them being crushed. So hopeless ... where was the "Change" we were all hoping for? Then the man who had sung about "change" in the Man in the Mirror passed. I took his song to heart and decided I will be the change in my life. Change is tough. I learned though sometimes what you hope for or dream about may not happen the way you expect it to.
Thus in 2010 I will change that approach. So what if I didn't get a job. Perhaps this is a test to see what will people do when this happens. So let the unemployed unite and create their own jobs. Let us (or at least I shall) Rise above the Occasion! So here goes... 2010 the new year the new decade... BRING IT!!!! I'm armed and furious!!! ;-)

Happy New Year All!