2008 December I graduated! Great hopes and dreams.
I was set on beginning my PhD. However a strange job opportunity came my way and it was once in a life time government super sweet job. I thought I had it, they made me think I had it... and alas boom bam! I shake my head in disappointment. Was I a fool? Once again, was I played?
2009 I spend working part time, and I was lucky to have got that job, part time or not. SO LUCKY!
I gained experience, but all year I have kept applying to jobs.
Nothing positive. Out of over a 100 job applications I sent out I only got 1 positive response, and I didn't get that job either because I lack experience. However all the experienced people are "laid off". THey might have a better chance of getting hired.
*rolls eyes*
So here I am fresh out of grad school, a head full of ideas... just being let down, time and time again.
Anger Hatred Fear Depression
and an entire array of completely remorseful and horrid feelings fill me. I'm dying from the inside out. Why, oh why does the mighty lord not strike me down dead? I feel so useless and worthless. Just feelings. So the government is creating jobs ... then why do I not have one yet? I am applying. I am doing everything I can.
Those of you who know me, I am professional, I present myself well, I have experience (interned at places), I am intelligent, and I know my stuff. So maybe I don't have 10 years experience, but heck I am only in my mid 20s.
Frustration. Furious. Fierceness. Fervid. Flaming.
I don't mean to express such rage, but really it is so hard to remain positive. However when they say a door closes... God opens a window.
Well numerous doors have closed for me. I mean many many many many many doors have closed, or many people have closed doors, and not to point fingers but many government jobs (well a computer ranks the applications, apparently. Computers are smarter than humans and very good judge of human character apparently).
Yes I am bitter. Today once again I heard the words that are so abundant and redundant in employer emails to day... repeated "you do not have the required 'score'" emails from a division of the government for a job. Not one email but 7 computer generated rejections. Very nice I would say. So I am bitter. However I found my window and I am going to open it myself, and make the best of it.
Determination, Divination, Discipline, Dedication, Drive, Destiny.
(I wrote this January 8th 2010. I am finally publishing it online now. I believe this is how all the "occupies" feel. I dealt with these feelings, I was underemployed... and now i am working not in the field that I graduated with. I MADE things turn around. We control our lives, our fate and destiny... not the government or some rich fools. Become the Tiger!
I was set on beginning my PhD. However a strange job opportunity came my way and it was once in a life time government super sweet job. I thought I had it, they made me think I had it... and alas boom bam! I shake my head in disappointment. Was I a fool? Once again, was I played?
2009 I spend working part time, and I was lucky to have got that job, part time or not. SO LUCKY!
I gained experience, but all year I have kept applying to jobs.
Nothing positive. Out of over a 100 job applications I sent out I only got 1 positive response, and I didn't get that job either because I lack experience. However all the experienced people are "laid off". THey might have a better chance of getting hired.
*rolls eyes*
So here I am fresh out of grad school, a head full of ideas... just being let down, time and time again.
Anger Hatred Fear Depression
and an entire array of completely remorseful and horrid feelings fill me. I'm dying from the inside out. Why, oh why does the mighty lord not strike me down dead? I feel so useless and worthless. Just feelings. So the government is creating jobs ... then why do I not have one yet? I am applying. I am doing everything I can.
Those of you who know me, I am professional, I present myself well, I have experience (interned at places), I am intelligent, and I know my stuff. So maybe I don't have 10 years experience, but heck I am only in my mid 20s.
Frustration. Furious. Fierceness. Fervid. Flaming.
I don't mean to express such rage, but really it is so hard to remain positive. However when they say a door closes... God opens a window.
Well numerous doors have closed for me. I mean many many many many many doors have closed, or many people have closed doors, and not to point fingers but many government jobs (well a computer ranks the applications, apparently. Computers are smarter than humans and very good judge of human character apparently).
Yes I am bitter. Today once again I heard the words that are so abundant and redundant in employer emails to day... repeated "you do not have the required 'score'" emails from a division of the government for a job. Not one email but 7 computer generated rejections. Very nice I would say. So I am bitter. However I found my window and I am going to open it myself, and make the best of it.
Determination, Divination, Discipline, Dedication, Drive, Destiny.
(I wrote this January 8th 2010. I am finally publishing it online now. I believe this is how all the "occupies" feel. I dealt with these feelings, I was underemployed... and now i am working not in the field that I graduated with. I MADE things turn around. We control our lives, our fate and destiny... not the government or some rich fools. Become the Tiger!
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