I have always considered myself a feminist... well until all the feminists made a huge hue and cry about the sexism in Seth McFarlane's boob song, and other comments he made in his typical jocular satirical manner during the "Oscars". Then I read this
article about what true feminists are, which talked about a book called the "feminine mystique" by Betty Friedan. Where feminism seemed to be defined vs. American Feminism which claims feminism can be sexy and funny, but still feminism. So is there a true feminism? Have i never been truly a feminist?
True feminists do not give into their insecurities and the "lies" sold to us. Ie. don't shave legs, wax, because that's what men want us to be. They want us to have a certain body type, look a certain way... I do agree with the part that states "To my mind, the most amazing and miserable aspect of The Feminine
Mystique is how relevant it still is. Women of my generation are still
being sold lies to keep us obedient. We are told that we are valued, until we accuse a revered man of rape. We are told we are equal, and yet we still do most of the low-paid and unpaid work. We are told we are respected, and yet we are harassed in the street, objectified and ridiculed in the media, and haunted by words like nag, harridan and hysteric in our personal relationships. Like Friedan's, our feminism is stifled by the belief that the battles have been won, and we are free to enjoy equality in all of its male-sanctioned glory." However, I do feel we can choose to take feminism, like anything in life, to extremes.
The author of the article goes to make the comparison between the feminists of yesterday and feminists today, that there was the hardcore feminists that helped us get where we are, and today you have the "Sex and the City" type feminists which combine humor, sexiness and feminism. However she points out that's just a way of pleasing everyone, and feminism isn't mean to please people. It is meant to show the harsh reality of women today. I think this idea is 1- subjective (to lifestyle, career choices, political view points, etc.), 2- relative (compare women in say Sudan to women in America) 3- dependent on individual opinion. Here's a quote of what the author actually says "In my mind, if being sexy and funny are the two cornerstones of a new
feminist movement, we may as well all pack up and go home now. At its
core, feminism should be angry. It should be angry because women are
still being taken for a ride. Like the women in The Feminine Mystique,
we are being sold a lie of equality in a society where the odds are
politically, socially and economically stacked against us."
Honestly, I don't want to be an angry feminist. I mean I am angry sometimes, but really it might be because of the Occupy Wallstreet movement by the 99%, which I totally feel by the way but I am lucky to have had work throughout not in my field, and still underemployed. Anyway I do get angry but not because I feel I have been lied to, taken for a ride... I agree for us women there is economical, political, socio-culture issues still to tackle, such as married women vs. single women, health insurance, political and religious ideologies that may shape our choices, rights to our own body through policy in the future, and socio-culture issues being heck let's start with women judging women, women judging men, and men judging women. No wonder we aren't taken seriously. First off - we judge who's a true feminist and who isn't!
In all honesty (yes I start another paragraph with the same word), I am tired of being uber sensitve. I used to be super sensitive regarding my race, sex, body, sexuality, religion, and culture once. I mean was hyper sensitive about "comedy" in general because ALL comedians (including Russell Peters) fall back on racism, sexism, etc. I did realize though that if I continued being as sensitive as I was, I would probably have zero friends. I would over analyze jokes my friends would tell me, and make it into something to cry about. I would be so offended by people's jokes, I stayed away from them unless I knew their jokes were PG level. Until I met Ryan: a guy I really liked and though let me try seeing things from his perspective. He isn't ignorant, he knows about the harsh realities for women, and has experienced it through near and dear ones. So I decided to give comedy the American style a shot. From The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, to Tosh.0, and even Family Guy (Right now we are just finishing the Family Guy series that was based on the Star Wars). I try to watch South Park, but I don't get why they kill that little guy in the orange hoodie every time, it makes me sad. Up until then I was always sensitive, sensitive to others, and politically correct. Now I balance it, I get a feel for my friends and know who I can let down the "sensitivities" around.
Sometime last year Daniel Tosh made a joke about rape during his stand-up comedy tour, a girl pointed out that it was not funny. He retorted with the comment that - wouldn't it be funny if everyone just raped her now?
I was pretty offended by that, because I took it personally. Ryan and I had a long discussion about it, and although he is a feminist at heart too, we both decided that although it was a joke and probably highly inappropriate, it was a joke, its who Tosh is, actors do that, especially comedians. I have a hillbilly southern persona myself, and he/she is not politically correct, forget grammar! From this Seth Mcfarlane hosting the Oscars, to Colbert, to Tosh, I think what I have learnt is that we can create a mountain out of a mole hill in regards to anything... it depends on your attitude in life. Like remember forgiveness? Remember teaching people through love? Being open minded to other people's perspectives? There are many examples of this... and Feminists just need to be angry because anger is the only thing which changes anything. :-O Not the way I live, not in what I believe in. Gandhi helped India get freedom by harnessing the anger into Ahimsa, peace. Why can't "feminists" learn that?
It is true, as seen last December, India has had its own feminist rising. A truly horrific incident shook the nation, and woke them up to the basic plight of day to day living in India. Forget the "objectification" of women in Bollywood, lets change the basic attitudes towards dress and lifestyle first. There is a lot of ground work before addressing the way "celebrities" handle themselves, ie. education of boys and girls. Sure media/celebrities influence us everyday, but it is we who let them, thus education at home, school and play, can help make people realize this.
Yes, women and their insecurities, do help companies sell large amounts of products. We forget that companies target the insecurities of men too. Yes they have insecurities too, and are lied to as well- hair loss, abs, shoes, cars, guns, "size" matters stuff, clothes, hair! (Some men are lucky and don't have the loss of hair problem), body hair (women like hairless chests, hairless backs). It goes both ways. We just CARE more of what other women think, than men worrying about what women and men think of them. Yeah analyze your thoughts, feelings etc.
Feminists how can you stand for women who spend millions on dresses, millions that could help women in Africa, but make a hue and cry about the boob song. There's something not right in that equation. Maybe it's liberating to walk nude, appear nude in a movie... but its subjective to perspective. Sometimes I may see a naked body as an art, but I have hormones and have not mastered Brahmacharya (the art and science of disciplining your sexual energies) yet! This leads me to point out a double standard/ stereotype in movie making/ acting etc.
Glee is known for addressing socio-culture, political, economic and all sorts of other issues in tactful ways that apply to high school kids' lives. Recently Rachel Berry, character played by Lea Michelle, goes to art school in New York, and gets an opportunity to act in a student film. The catch is she has to do a nude scene. She justifies doing the film by saying nudity is alright because every great actress has done it sometime in their lives. She is still uncomfortable with the idea, but her role models were all strong confident women who appeared nude on the silver screen, so this would make her strong, confident and later an acclaimed actress. Her friends come to the rescue and tell her that it's a student film, and there will be other opportunities and she should wait till she is comfortable with the idea. The point I'm trying to make is that there's porn side of nudity on film, and then there's the great actresses that have appeared nude, and then there's the actresses who haven't in the middle. Most academy winning female nudity is artistic, anyway these actresses are also usually of a certain body type so are they in fact a part of the "lie". Oh wait they were directed by men, probably!
As for Mr. McFarlane: Everyone knows how crude and "crass" he is in his shows Family Guy, The Cleveland Show etc. So why is everyone so shocked, surprised, and offended? Maybe it was not appropriate for the Oscars, but he was chosen knowing how he is. He is highly talented and I thought he was hilarious, and I still consider myself a feminist (perhaps a "balanced feminist"). I think through comedy, satire, we can show people what is wrong in our culture, our programming... Maybe we/ feminists, instead of just attacking individuals should hold the culture, all the "Seth McFarlanes" of Hollywood especially the men and women behind the scenes, the anti-feminists in Government, the men who rule Wallstreet and corporate America "selling us lies based on our insecurities", all the men of Religion who hold being female against us, the fashion world which helped skinny boy like bodies for women get popular... All of them accountable for this atrocity at the Oscars.
I guess my point is I'm a feminist, but not an extremist. I believe we can see the truth of our world through humor and satire. I believe in being balanced with regards to sensitivities, and not going over board. I believe in being mindful, peaceful and loving in all my endeavors. (By the way the use the crazy angry irrational woman, against us, no matter how educated and intelligent, when you let anger take over it's the breaking of the dam).
Breathe
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| My idea of the feminine mystique... the magical gift of birth, the balanced yin and yang, peace, love and harmony. |
